Aug
27

Shorter Phyllis Schlafly




Posted at 0:46 by Gavin M.


Above: Fueled by Geritol and spite

Title IX Tied Our Hands At the Olympics

  • The radical feminist Title IX has crippled our competitiveness in macho sports such as men’s gymnastics — and men’s freestyle wrestling, except for that, uh, son of illegal immigrants who so-called “won a gold medal” in men’s freestyle wrestling.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™

Note: The 110 medals won by US athletes in the 2008 Summer Olympics are divided nearly equally between males and females.

114 Comments »

  1. fadgeophile said,

    August 27, 2008 at 0:48

    Not going to click it. No effin’ way.

  2. Jacob Singer said,

    August 27, 2008 at 0:53

    Hey, don’t knock Geritol and spite. Mix in a little vodka and I’m good for the weekend.

  3. OTB said,

    August 27, 2008 at 0:55

    we could eliminate this terrible problem if we’d just let transsexuals compete as women.

  4. Rugosa said,

    August 27, 2008 at 0:57

    Why go to college if you can’t play your favorite game . . . how about to get an education?

  5. pablo said,

    August 27, 2008 at 0:58

    I liked her better when she was telling Luke Skywalker: “Your hate has made you powerful.”

  6. mikey said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:00

    This woman needs to hang out with Glenn Beck.

    Between them they pretty much hate EVERYONE…

    mikey

  7. Tom65 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:04

    Damn, I thought she was dead already.

    tick, tock….

  8. BJS said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:04

    fadgeophile – you chose wisely. I did not. As I was reading that crap, I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of brain cells suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

  9. johnbinpt said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:05

    What are you doing out of the kitchen, Phyllis?!!! And with shoes on, no less!!!

  10. BJS said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:07

    wow – in the first 10 comments two people felt compelled to quote star wars and like tom65 I almost added that I couldn’t believe she was still alive to my post. not sure what this means….

  11. Snowwy said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:08

    As an Oaklander, I am obliged to hate Gertrude Stein more than just about any woman in human history…

    but damn, Schlafly is really gunning for the title.

  12. Ripley said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:09

    She’s a man, baby!

  13. Marco said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:11

    Favorite part = “The Chinese (who are not restricted by feminist nonsense)…

    No words.

  14. Mark said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:12

    Of course, the real problem is college football draining funds:
    http://dir.salon.com/story/news/sports/col/barra/2003/03/01/title_ix/
    And of course, the Chinese succeed because of a massive government program to seek out and train atheletes from infancy. You want a massive government prgram Phyllis?

  15. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:14

    “Beijing Olympic Games” is an anagram of “jiggy commie p3n!s lab.”

    Coincidence? I think not.

    (Apparently the p-word is too naughty for these here WP comments.)

  16. Mark said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:15

    Almost forgot. The fact she has a gay son is one one the greatest ironies in the history of irony.

  17. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:16

    Gurl medals don’t count, Gavin!

  18. imnotmatt said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:17

    Very sneaky, Gav. “The overwhelming majority of the 106 medals were divided exactly equally”

    A touch Groganesque, n’est-ce pas? That must have been some guilt-laden rubber cement comedown for you to edit that one away.

  19. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:18

    The Chinese (who are not restricted by feminist nonsense)…

    No one tell Phyllis that the Chinese women won more medals than their men.

    (Link)

  20. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:22

    I’m particularly fond of this one:

    The Americans who won in Beijing typically did so in spite of Title IX. Michael Phelps, who won eight gold medals (about one-fourth of all U.S. gold medals), trained privately and didn’t compete on a college team.

    Ummm… didn’t Michael Phelps follow his coach to Michigan (which does have a swimming and diving program for men), where he wouldn’t have been eligible to compete due to the huge endorsement deals he’s been cashing in on for years? Clearly he’s being oppressed by the evil feminists.

  21. Unree said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:22

    Even if La Schlafly reads the record right, Olympic medals won by athletes who compete under the American flag don’t give anything to the American people. I might be up for sacrificing a li’l gender equity as she proposes, if improving the US:China medals ratio would ease the trade deficit between the two countries, on track to hit $250 billion for 2008. But all Phyllis would deliver is more gender inequity and a few chants of Yoo! Ess! A! Yoo! Ess! A! every four years. I’ll keep them hands tied by Title IX for now, ma’am.

  22. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:25

    Ooooooh.

  23. JF Sebastian said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:30

    Mark: Of course, the real problem is college football draining funds

    Oh, balderdash! If only everyone would follow Schlafly’s advice, schools (like, say, the University of Alabama) would be absolutely super-duper-excited to pour money and emphasis into sports like men’s gymnastics and fencing.

    If it weren’t for them damn women-folk, you’d be seeing eager crowds crying “Riposte, Tide!,” many of them brandishing a beer in one of hand and a foam-rubber epee in the other.

  24. Marco said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:31

    Speaking of proud, intelligent women, Amy Alkon’s latest blog post is a riot. She is obviously desperate for more SadlyNo! attention. I mean, it’s so mind-bogglingly vapid, it could be a “shorter” here. She even drops tons of non-plagiarized copy from an article as bait.

    Sorry for the off-topic. I know. I am a dick.

  25. ignatov said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:34

    The 110 medals won by US athletes in the 2008 Summer Olympics are divided nearly equally between males and females.

    But this is central to her point. You see, without Title IX, we’d still have those 50-odd female medalists, but we’d also have HUNDREDS more male medalists. Stupid anti-discrimination laws…

  26. pablo said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:40

    Once an asshole always an asshole. (and an old one too) I guess the eagle forum pooped on her and revived her.

  27. Thom said,

    August 27, 2008 at 1:41

    We got 3 freestyle wrestling medals this year. Idiot. We got 6 in Athens – with 1 gold, same as this year. We got 7 in Sydney – with 2 golds. Big whoop.

    Idiot.

  28. gotoL said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:08

    I am really, really looking forward to reading that woman’s obituary.

  29. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:13

    Well after praising Melissa McEwan in the previous thread I feel I’ve honed up my feminist credentials enough to say this:

    I think women shouldn’t be allowed to do anything in the public sphere…if their named Phyllis Schlafly.

  30. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:23

    The fact is, I know some members of Ms. Schafly’s family (they’re the same family that makes the beer), and they aren’t nuts or conservatives. They don’t like to talk about Phyllis.

  31. MzNIcky said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:23

    Jesus H. F—-g Christ, will this f—ing hatebag DIE already?

    How many DECADES must feminists have to put up with this dried-up old bitter stupid crackpot wretch? I swear if I have to hear any more g—n b—-t from this f…..

    [this tirade has been interrupted for your protection.]

    Also, FYWP for making me censor my glorious profanity in order to post this comment.

  32. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:25

    their there they’re.
    Was number one, you see -
    But if you really gave a care
    You’d see it should be number three.

  33. MzNIcky said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:28

    I mean, if there was ever a face that deserved a big heapin’ helpin’ of villification pie, that’s it.

  34. WereBear said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:29

    Oh, it’s okay for Phyllis to get out of the kitchen and put on shoes. She’s making the sacrifice for all the other wimmins.

    Getting involved in politics, writing, the whole career thing; where would she be if all women felt confident about doing that?

    And where is Mr. S? Did she eat him?

  35. MzNIcky said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:30

    And where is Mr. S? Did she eat him?

    No. Understandably, he stabbed himself nine times years ago.

  36. MzNIcky said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:32

    Yeah, sorry, I get a bit irrational on the subject of Mrs. Schlafly. I haven’t been the same since I did that research paper on her for a women’s studies class back in the day.

  37. Smut Clyde said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:32

    I wonder how the WP profanity filter will cope with languages other than English. Would it allow the comment through? Or would it assume that I’m swearing and laughing at it?

  38. Smut Clyde said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:34

    a big heapin’ helpin’ of villification pie,
    With a glaze of insincerity. Send out the RB signal!

  39. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:37

    I haven’t been the same since I did that research paper on her for a women’s studies class back in the day.

    Well, there’s always the satisfaction that she has obviously lived a very, very unhappy life.

  40. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:44

    Incidentally, here’s the US medal count for the past three olympics:
    2000 – 36/297 gold, 91/921 total
    2004 – 36/301 gold, 102/929 total
    2008 – 36/302 gold, 110/938 total

    So, um – looks like no statistical differences. 1996 was the Atlanta Games, and as China can attest, home field advantage makes a difference.

  41. MzNIcky said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:46

    FYWP.

    I can’t get no satisfaction from Schlafly’s miserable personal life. I just want her to shut up and go away and quit f–king up things for others.

  42. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:47

    @Smut: Let’s see. Furrin obscenities coming up:

    Criss de câlisse de tabernac’ !
    Putain de bordel de merde !
    Ich heisse Phyllis Schlafly!

  43. WereBear said,

    August 27, 2008 at 2:52

    There’s no satisfaction in that. It’s an explanation.

    Just, maybe… a sort of justice.

  44. Gus said,

    August 27, 2008 at 3:09

    WTF? Why can I not say the eff word here no mo’?

  45. El Cid said,

    August 27, 2008 at 3:12

    Of course, I remember a million years ago when Ronald Reagan was President and the media made a huge stink about how the damn Russkie Comm’nists were turning the Olympics from a celebration of athleticism etc etc etc and focusing on simply churning out medals, ’cause, you know, they were Eeeeevil and stuff.

  46. Gundamhead said,

    August 27, 2008 at 3:19

    What’s with Phyl anyway? Is it some kind of deep self loathing/Stockholm syndrome? Is it just an act for money and attention (cause God knows no one would pay attention to her otherwise)? Or is she just pure evil?

    In any case, I hope she dries up and blows away soon. Yech.

  47. Bitter Scribe said,

    August 27, 2008 at 3:50

    That woman started lying in the 1970s about the ERA, and to my knowledge she’s never told the truth since.

    And pch1013, I recognize the last two languages, but what’s the first?

  48. Doctorb said,

    August 27, 2008 at 3:54

    Okay, “son of illegal immigrants who did not wrestle in college” is HILARITY. But I’ve spent a fair chunk of time these last two days editing the in English writing about something I don’t really understand of not native English speaking people.

    But “why bother attending college if you can’t play the sport you love”? Seriously? Not maybe to gently caressing learn something, or acquire skillz or even just to have an excuse to spend most of four years slacking off, hooking up, and drinking Natty Lite from a plastic flamingo? Damn.

    Also, WordPress can go fellate a tailpipe.

  49. Doctorb said,

    August 27, 2008 at 3:55

    Also, wordpress sells generic v1a.gra cheap

  50. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:01

    Alternate Even Shorter Phyllis Schlafly:

    I’m not dead yet!

  51. Doctorb said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:01

    Almost forgot. The fact she has a gay son is one one the greatest ironies in the history of irony.

    If she had been the first woman I ever met, I imagine I would be attending my life-partner’s one-man show (The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Sondheim).

    So it’s not ironic; it’s apt — apt!

  52. Doctorb said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:03

    “Marco” writes:

    Speaking of proud, intelligent women, Amy Alkon’s latest blog post is a riot. She is obviously desperate for more SadlyNo! attention.

    Cut it out, Amy.

  53. Killjoys at the IOC said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:06

    The Olympic Games are competitions between athletes in individual or team events and not between countries.

  54. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:08

    The fact she has a gay son is one one the greatest ironies in the history of irony.

    Nah, she’s in a three-way tie with Dick Cheney and Alan Keyes.

    When you consider Phyl’s son Andrew created Conservopedia, you realize John is the only thing that redeems that branch of the Schlafly family tree.

  55. WereBear said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:18

    I haven’t been the same since I did that research paper on her for a women’s studies class back in the day.

    You have looked into the abyss!

  56. Smut Clyde said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:21

    When you look into the toilet, the toilet looks back at you.
    On the other hand, if it also talks back to you, then it’s time to cut down on smoking the dried leeches.

  57. Anne Laurie said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:24

    I can’t get no satisfaction from Schlafly’s miserable personal life. I just want her to shut up and go away and quit f–king up things for others.

    It always makes me feel better to contemplate Schafly’s bitter tears when she didn’t get to be the first woman on the Supreme Court. Because (as you already know, MzNicky) she really, really thought she had a lock on that position. Bad as Justice O’Connor was, the rest of us Americans truly dodged a bullet there.

  58. Marquis de Chocula said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:27

    Sirs,

    In the title bar of your website, above a crudely digitally-altered picture of the late Phyllis Schlafly, was the legend:

    She said I wasn’t sponge-worthy. Wouldn’t waste a sponge on me!

    I recognize that this is the Inter-net, and that “appropriate behaviour” includes tricking people into looking at Rick Astley, or a man’s horribly distended hundan, or a student film in which a CGI-animated anus sings “Never Gonna Give You Up”, but some things are beyond the pale.

    In any case, according to my grandfather, the Fourteenth Marquis de Chocula, that cho yade uses spermicidal jelly, and did so as if it were going out of style.

    Yours &c,

  59. Dorothy said,

    August 27, 2008 at 4:54

    Title IX Tied Our Hands At the Olympics

    You know, if our top gymnast hadn’t broken his hand weeks before the games, the team medal count might have been higher. And here comes the Crypt Keepette, whining about the gymnastics team’s “hands being tied” and the team being “crippled.”

    Stay classy, Phyllis.

  60. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:01

    So how come we can say “anus” here, but not the five-letter word starting with p that denotes the male reproductive organ?

    The WordPress filter took these comments and wrecked ‘em.

  61. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:02

    Why can’t you say Pen1s?

  62. Marquis de Chocula said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:02

    You can’t say “prong”?

  63. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:03

    Wow, you can’t even say P-e-n-1-s.

    I protest WPs anti-male secondary sex organ stance.

  64. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:05

    When did WP install a Prude Filter?

  65. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:06

    So of course the damn thing squirts out all of my comments at once, making me look like a big schwantz.

  66. Doctorb said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:07

    At least we can still say “Mickey Kaus is a he chusheng zajiao de zanghuo” or “Confederate Yankee is a hwoon dahn” but I’m probably pronouncing those wrong.

  67. Doctorb said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:10

    I’m sorry; I meant that Confederate Yankee is a ben tiansheng de yi dui rou.

  68. Doctorb said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:13

    Would it kill Woidpress to let the occasional schvanz slip past?

  69. Futplex said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:15

    The Rogue Nation of Futplex wishes to announce that it has recently made a great new advance in military technology, and then somehow managed to misplace it. The advance, which would have allowed Futplex to crush all those standing in the way of its nefarious plans, was last seen in a large lead box at 1 Closed Loop in Futplex City. There is a reward for its return.

  70. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:26

    I assume the reason for the c0ck-blocking has something to do with ads for les pilules qui te font bander, and the desire of the S,N! team not to have to deal with them.

    But still.

  71. mikey said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:28

    Ahh, shoot.

    You’re supposed to DRY them?

    Son of a gun….

    mikey

  72. mikey said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:30

    I had to put that ridiculous non-profane thingie in there ’cause tjhe new, evil spam filter is newt gingrich….

    mikey

  73. Doktor Pangloss said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:36

    Previously
    Everywhere, but
    Now
    It’s
    Spam

  74. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:39

    whoa, is this new? filter a permanent thing (“the wave of the future”)?, cause it hurts my brain to try to interpret the 2x,3x,etc.-entendres, dodgings, and euphemisms. If I want cryptic crosswords, I’ll buy a paper.

  75. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:42

    14 Across: Mightier than the sword, quickly

  76. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:46

    ….exactly!!!

  77. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:48

    Okay Presser of Words – you want profane, I think I gots some.

    You are the congealing leavings of some dark and perverse mating ‘twixt an overweight drunken mother and her mentally retarded son – morally putrid incestuous foulness oozing from the dark and rotten recesses of her twisted core.

    You are the burning skin of a child after it has been struck in the senseless rage of their idiot father whose baseball team has given up a home run – and you are also the pain that he felt at his rash unthinking action and moreover you are the shame he feels when he realizes he has an erection.

    You are the stain, the deep mark that scars the weak, the crushing burden borne by those who have wronged so deeply that no forgiveness will release them. You are the worst of the failings of the worst of us.

  78. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:52

    Eff You See Kay. I don’t wanna have to think before I swear.

    How am I gonna shout that word I shout all the time? You know what doesn’t have quite the same ring?

    DICK

  79. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:53

    @ Bitter Scribe way upthread (just saw your message now, gosh darn it!): That’s Québec French, a.k.a. joual. Jesus of Montréal, q.v.

  80. jim said,

    August 27, 2008 at 5:57

    Because I’m bored – & to show my “good” side for a change – I’m awarding points in this thread. Points are not redeemable for cash & valuable prizes, & the awarder of points assumes no liability for any damages resulting from their misuse. Void where prohibited by law.

    Coming to you from directly above the center of the Earth, it’s …
    *** “Sadly, No!” Idol! ***

    Ready … set … GO GO GO!

    Damn, I thought she was dead already.

    Implies that this dried-out old bag of scorpions in a leisure suit either is or ever was truly alive.
    That’ll cost you 15 points, buddy!

    I haven’t been the same since I did that research paper on her for a women’s studies class back in the day.

    Automatic 20 sympathy points: sweet bleeding Jesus, what a horrific anecdote … did the prof have a sweetheart deal on the side with the campus shrink or what?

    pch1013, I recognize the last two languages, but what’s the first?

    That wacky lingo is none other than Quebecois – & in Quebecois, the word for “church” (tabernac’) is the foulest, dirtiest, nastiest expletive you can use. You have gained 10 points for asking when you don’t know the answer, Grasshopper … now see if you can snatch these fine hydroponically-grown buds out of my hand before I can – ooh, quite the fast-moving & devious little bastard, aren’t you, Grasshopper? Hey now, don’t bogart the sensi from your sensei – you’ll make the Baby Buddha cry.

    WordPress can go fellate a tailpipe.

    100 points – but only if the engine it’s hooked up to is running at full throttle … & it’s the tailpipe of a 200-ton earth-moving machine.

    Also, SCHLONG.

  81. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:03

    OT, but does anyone know how the tests of the Large Hardon Collider at CERN are going?

  82. J. A. Baker said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:03

    This woman needs to hang out with Glenn Beck.

    Between them they pretty much hate EVERYONE…

    Sometimes I think that Schlafly hates herself for not being born with a schlong…

  83. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:05

    …I think we should aware points for how O the OT is ….many, many points for tha hadron collider (I know nothing about any “hardon” collider)

  84. J. A. Baker said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:05

    Alternate Shorter: Title IX is the water fluoridation of Liberal Fascism.

  85. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:08

    “award”, “the” (tricky, one of the harder words)

  86. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:13

    Ha! I said “hardon” and got someone else to say “hardon” too! w00t!

    You know, like a hardon. Like when that thing that Phyllis Schlafly lacks becomes turgid and erect. See, it’s not off-topic at all.

  87. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:14

    and therefore, you earn NO POINTS

  88. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:18

    …no OT points – you do get points for slipping hardon past WP

  89. Senator Ted said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:31

    D’oh! I had to click on the link, I just couldn’t believe it. Wow, that’s a powerful amount of stupid condensed into one location…

    BTW – Bad form to JF Sebastian

    If it weren’t for them damn women-folk, you’d be seeing eager crowds crying “Riposte, Tide!,” many of them brandishing a beer in one of hand and a foam-rubber epee in the other.

    That almost made my Scotch go out my nose! Well played Sir!

  90. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:32

    I guess slipping the hardon past – with a large hardon collider no less – has to count as a home run. That’s worth at least two points, poking out from engorged areola.

  91. Nimrod Jr said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:36

    My image spoke to me, yes to me and often said
    “You are the son of incestuous union”

  92. Doctorb said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:38

    I’m going to assume that my awesomely hilarious URL is in the WordPress detention zone, and that’s okay.

  93. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:40

    PENIS

  94. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:43

    I’m getting some weird error messages when I hit submit. Something about a ~ being pregnant and being unable to give head.

  95. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:46

    I fucking ROCK!

  96. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:47

    Even if my ending ~ isn’t preg-matching the unable to modify header.

  97. Phoenician in a time of Romans said,

    August 27, 2008 at 6:54

    Even shorter Schlafly: “Being four times as good as China isn’t enough. Feminists are to blame.”

  98. kate said,

    August 27, 2008 at 7:02

    Honest to hardon, its still alive!

    Just like Strom Thurmond and Jesse Helms, hell doesn’t want them and heaven won’t have them, so they stay on earth in limbo.

    Frankly, I’d like to be in her funeral procession, to run along beating her casket with a copy of Bitch magazine in one hand and Advocate in the other. Seems a fitting tribute.

  99. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 7:08

    Shit, I think it’s learned my trick. I don’t know if my latest attempts at swearing are in the moderation queue or if they’re just being eaten.

    Ah well, at least I got one more PENIS in – without having to resort to lame character replacement.

  100. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 27, 2008 at 7:09

    Shit, I think it’s learned my trick. I don’t know if my latest attempts at swearing are in the moderation queue or if they’re just being eaten.

    Ah well, at least I got one more PENI5 in – without having to resort to lame character replacement.

  101. J. A. Baker said,

    August 27, 2008 at 7:54

    Actually, Dragon, with that double post, you got TWO Penii in. (Is that the right plural?)

  102. Amy Alkon's Testicles said,

    August 27, 2008 at 8:02

    It has been several days since I’ve seen a post about me.

    Please rectify this egregious oversight.

  103. Hoosier X said,

    August 27, 2008 at 8:24

    I get the wingnut blatherers kind of mixed up.

    Is Phyllis Schaffly the stupid one or the REALLY stupid one?

  104. Christopher said,

    August 27, 2008 at 10:13

    It’s really, really irresponsible to have a profanity filter on a thread about Phyllis Schlafly. I’m serious, it’s hard for me to even type her name without swearing.

    This could do real psychological damage.

  105. ceabaird said,

    August 27, 2008 at 10:14

    Schafly??????????????????????????????????????

  106. ceabaird said,

    August 27, 2008 at 10:14

    curse you, wordpress.

  107. actor212 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 15:17

    The radical feminist Title IX has crippled our competitiveness in macho sports such as men’s gymnastics

    Right. Title IX snuck up behind the Hamm brothers and knocked them out of the competition….

  108. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    August 27, 2008 at 16:41

    They would totally have won more medals if men and women could pee in the same bathroom, Phyllis.

    But you had to squawk about that, so now we’re just stuck with 110 medals split evenly between men and women! Shame on you, Phyllis, this is your fault!

  109. J Neo Marvin said,

    August 27, 2008 at 18:31

    Amy Alkon’s Testicles said,

    August 27, 2008 at 8:02

    It has been several days since I’ve seen a post about me.

    Please rectify this egregious oversight.

    No, no, a thousand times no! I’m bored with that person.

  110. tommyspoon said,

    August 27, 2008 at 18:59

    My goodness! I could have sworn that she’s been dead for at least ten years…

  111. pch1013 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 20:11

    ZOMG that last comment there was #110!

    Now, how many of these comments were left by wimmin? And would there have been more macho-manly comments if Title IX hadn’t caused our virile typing skillz to atrophy?

  112. actor212 said,

    August 27, 2008 at 21:17

    My goodness! I could have sworn that she’s been dead for at least ten years…

    She has, but no one’s bothered to tell her.

  113. Dr. Melissa Debbie ShitMoathier said,

    August 28, 2008 at 3:02

    Frau Schlafly kann mich am Arsch lecken. Puta de mierda!

  114. Joshua said,

    August 28, 2008 at 12:25

    What I love best about Phyllis is that she actually seems to acknowledge how ridiculous her own argument is. Title IX is hardly the reason American Olympic athletes rarely play in college. She admits that few of our athletes come from colleges anyway — and almost none of our gold medalists do. The nature of athletics themselves are the reason. Phyllis claims that having a college program in a sport guarantees medals. Then she mentions that diving has been replaced by rowing on many campuses (both diving and rowing have male and female squads as does diving so I’m not sure how Title IX plays into that) and yet the United States didn’t exactly scarf up a ton of rowing medals this year.

    And the bit about women’s gymnastics is ridiculous. While many American male gymnasts at the Olympic level have competed in college, this also has nothing to do with Title IX. Male gymnasts take longer to develop the physical ability to perform gymnastics, and college-provided free gym facilities and coaches help them achieve their goal. Female gymnasts develop a bit earlier, and even if they are rarely as young as hand-wringers seem to think, even a 20 year old Olympic champion has dedicated essentially her entire life to the sport and was training (and competing) at the elite level since she was 8. At least. There’s no time for college in that equation.

    In the absence of huge, government-subsidized training programs or a return to amateur Olympics only the private sector can provide the money and time necessary to produce world-class athletes. Colleges can’t and won’t — with the exception of many of the track events where college competition is often the only means athletes have of getting noticed.

    She also decries the shuttering of college fencing programs — but a little private fencing academy called the Oregon Fencing Alliance produced two women’s saber medalists this year (two of the three medals we won in that event.) And all three of those young women are going to college and are probably going to compete since fencers don’t have access to all that Phelpsian endorsement money.

    Even without Title IX, our nation wouldn’t be producing top male gymnasts or divers. Indeed, we’d likely to producing even fewer since college is such a remarkably inappropriate place to learn to be an athlete. The real factor is that we require our athletes to succeed in a free market system and that means that athletes in non-marquee sports (including men’s gymnastics) don’t stand a chance against athletes from other nations where the free market plays no role in athletic training or where the popularity of a particular sports means more people will be attracted to that sport.

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