22
Circling The Wagons
John P.O.W. McCain’s failure to remember the number of houses he owns has caused an emergency alert to go out to the wingnutosphere. As a result, some of our favorite bloggers have pulled themselves away from Faux News and their microwaved Hot Pockets long enough to rush to their keyboards to defend the mental acuity and the total non-eliteness of McCain. The results have been, well, hilarious.
From Michelle Malkin, we have the “Cone of Stupidity” defense:
We’re trapped in the Obama campaign’s Cone of Stupidity and we can’t get out. The latest Obama ad razzes McCain for not remembering how many houses he has. (But at least he knows how many states there are.)
I guess what Michelle means here is that McCain simply mispoke and, just as Obama said “57″ when he meant to say “47,” McCain said “I don’t know” when he meant to say “seven” or “a whole buttload.”
From John “Butt Missile” Hinderaker, we have the Tie defense:
[I]f a reporter asked me how many ties I own, there’s no way I could answer. Just like McCain, I’d tell him he has to ask my wife.
This analogy might make some sense if houses cost $50 each and you could hang 50 of them in your closet.
From Jonah “The Doughy Pantload” Goldldberg, we have the Kerry defense:
If owning so many houses (or being married to an heiress) is a problem, I do hope someone asks Barack why he was so enthusiastic about John Kerry in 2004.
A terrific argument, of course, if Kerry were currently running for President.
Kim “Waterboarding Is Fun!” Priestap brings us the Kenyan slum defense:
[Obama is] insinuating that owning a number of houses - in realty [sic], the McCains own a variety of investment properties, which accounts for John McCain’s not being able to give precise number - is somehow a character flaw. I couldn’t disagree more. I would argue this is a character flaw: allowing your brother to whither away in a hut in Nairobi, Kenya, while you’re living the good life in America.
In other words, who cares if McCain has more houses than he can remember, Obama doesn’t have enough!
Susan “Wake Up America” Duclos weighs in with the “We Have More Glass Houses” defense:
One would think the Democrats would have learned by now that when one lives in a glass house, those stones they throw can demolish their own house when they boomerang back at them, faster than those stones will demolish ANY of McCain’s multiple houses.
Sometimes a mixed metaphor is a wingnut’s best friend.
ceabaird said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:39
The McCain Defense - “These aren’t MY houses; they belong to that trollop-cunt, my wife. I’m a POW.”
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:44
Which wife-divorcing, beer-distributor heiress marrying, son of an Admiral who was son of an Admiral, Washington D.C. insider flung the ‘elitist’ charge first?
People who live in grass houses should NOT stow thrones.
No, indeedy.
Enjoy the boomerang, I think this one has legs.
(I like to mix my metaphors as much as the next person!)
kilo50 said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:48
Saw a brief mention on PBS Newshour. Even Gwen Ifill twittered. If Obama’s people don’t pound this into all our skulls they deserve to lose. Small things become large ideas and flop sweat shows.
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:49
Ahh, Pantload.
If owning so many houses (or being married to an heiress) is a problem, I do hope someone asks Barack why he was so enthusiastic about John Kerry in 2004.
Well, shit for brains, if owing so many houses (or being married to an heiress) is not a problem, why’d you make such a big fucking deal about it in 2004?
Epic fail.
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:50
Epic fail…like my HTML skillz there.
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:53
That was almost painful. Like watching a cow with BSE. You can tell the cow wants to walk, the cow knows it wants to walk, but at the same time the cow is vaguely aware that something is very wrong.
For extra Funneh you should run a little compare and contrast of their quotes re: McCain during the primaries.
Some Guy said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:57
Wait, McCain was a POW? Wow, why doesn’t he mention that?
“A terrific argument, of course, if Kerry were currently running for President.”
And if Barack was calling him an elitist.
“when one lives in a glass house, those stones they throw can demolish their own house when they boomerang back at them,”
I’m NOT sure she quite got that colloquial right. Also, stones != boomerangs.
Just sayin’.
Cletus von Clausewitz said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:59
Oh yeah? Well, I couldn’t tell you how many comic books I have, and a lot of them are investments too. I have the first issue of “Three Car Garage Townhouse” and a complete set of “Million Dollar Luxury Condo”
ceabaird said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:02
We’ll have those McCAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNN primary quotes for you just as soon as we cross that horses other shoe-dropping creek paddling hoisted by the fans other…
Now I’m confused.
It’s very important that we listen to the serious thoughts of a girl-college attending momma’s boy, who couldn’t write himself out of a piss-soaked bag, after having soaked it in his own piss. And then declaring how being covered in piss merely adds weight to his argument. That added weight ain’t facts or gravitas, it’s piss.
Max Power said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:03
Hmmm… it appears that fierce wingnut attack dogs become hilariously demented the very instant the Dems dare to make fun of their candidate and his gaffes.
…I wonder if it would work again tomorrow?
Cletus von Clausewitz said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:08
Arizona is a community property state, and no pre-nup in the world is in effect after 28 years of marriage. So McSame can’t use the “that’s the wife’s business, not mine” excuse. He could try “Mother Teresa made me buy another luxury condo”. I can hardly wait for the discussion about his getting a marriage license before his divorce was final.
HumboldtBlue said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:09
I threw a boomerang once.
I was stoned.
My house was glass.
My stones, stoney.
I threw a boomerang once. It hit a stone, near a hedge.
Boom, boom, boom, let’s go back to my room.
You rang?
Then I was paddling.
No creek.
Just stones that rang when you hit them.
You can back the lead horse in a race.
Don’t drink the water.
Me said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:10
They really don’t know what to do with this one, do they?
Awesome.
Perfectly Functioning Wingnut Robot 6.66 said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:13
HousesBBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTOOOOWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAATTTBBBBBBBOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
owlbear1 said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:16
McCain knows how to be royalty folks! That’s what makes him such a regular Joe!
Henry Holland said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:16
microwaved Hot Pockets
Mmmmm….ham and cheese Hot Pockets……mmmmmmm.
Dante Aligheri said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:17
Traitors worthy of Cocytus. They’re lucky they’re not being eternally chewed by Satan.
Max Power said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:23
Max Power
He’s the man whose name
You’d love to touch
But you mustn’t toooooouuuuch
His name sounds good in your ear
But when you hear it, you mustn’t fear
‘Cause his name can be said by anyone
owlbear1 said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:25
er,… John, such a regular John!
Five of Diamonds said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:26
They’re afraid Obama will take away their wingnut welfare. They’ll have to get jobs. I hear the Army needs soldiers.
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:29
And the InstaToilet swirls and swirls. Heh indoodily ding dong diddily!
Five of Diamonds said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:29
“We’re trapped in the Obama campaign’s Cone of Stupidity and we can’t get out. The latest Obama ad razzes McCain for not remembering how many houses he has.”
She has resorted to calling names. It’s the argument’s equilivent to “you’re a fathead.”
comsympinko said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:30
Just heard the flagship New York news station refer to the “Russian invasion of Georgia.”
Head. Desk. SLAM. SLAM. SLAM.
Betterwhwbffjwooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:34
You just can’t make this shit up
Well, OK. So I embellished.
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:37
McCains own a variety of investment properties
So we should vote for McCain because he’s dumb enough to hold on to his houses during *a housing collapse*?
Also, where is Clif buying ties that cost $50? If I buy an expensive one, it’s usually less than $30.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:39
Oh, and I forgot to mention…
The vile folks from Sadly No are coming over. I can’t trust that they will act civil.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:39
Argh! link
Gary Ruppert said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:47
The fact is, POW. So shut the hell up.
The Vile Folks From Sadly No said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:47
Brains….BRRAAIIINNNSSS…
We want to find brains…BBBRRAAAAIINSSS…
Can’t find…brains there…
BBBRRRAIIIINS…!!1!!1!!!!
Saul said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:51
Shalom, gentlemen.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:55
Saul said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:51
Shalom, gentlemen.
PEACE, MOTHERFCUKER!
Some Guy said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:57
LEEEROOOOOOOOOOOY!! JEEENKIIIIINNNSSSSS!!, gentlemen.
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:58
Hi Saul.
Saul said,
August 22, 2008 at 6:59
The agreement today between the US and Poland regarding the installation of 10 anti-missile batteries on the Russian border is a triumph for the US and Europe in the War On Terror.
House Buying Trollop said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:02
I can explain John’s confusion over our mansions.
You see, whenever we take the jet to one of the houses, he gets very scared (because of being shot down in a jet) (he was a P.O.W.). I have to give him some of my Happy Pills, and he falls asleep. He never knows which mansion we are going to!
By the way, did I mention he is a P.O.W?
Saul said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:03
PEACE, MOTHERFCUKER!
I am no motherfcuker, nor could I ever find peace with your feeble rantings.
smapdi said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:03
ANY of McCain’s multiple houses!
ANY!!
I Like Ike said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:07
“The agreement today between the US and Poland regarding the installation of 10 anti-missile batteries on the Russian border is a triumph for the US and Europe in the War On Terror.”
The only thing it is a triumph for is the Military Industrial Complex.
Saul said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:18
The only thing it is a triumph for is the Military Industrial Complex.
What do you think keeps us safe? Happy thoughts and good intentions?
To fail to prepare is to prepare for failure.
Some Guy said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:23
Which is exactly why I’ve been pushing to have the Bible Belt forcibly evacuated and the entire area turned into the Strategic Honey Mustard Reserve. My friends, we could store enough honey mustard there for the rest of your lives, your children’s lives, and your children’s children’s children’s lives. The terrorists can have out chicken fingers when they pry them from out cold dead hands.
Inconstant Reader said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:30
I really don’t get this whole “poor Kenyan half-brother” thing. Apparently Barack Obama, Sr. was a big ol’ douchebag who fathered numerous children with multiple women and didn’t much care about supporting any of them. So suddenly our own Barry Hussein X is responsible for the care and feeding of every single one, even if he barely knows them?
Oh, yeah, I forgot, we’re talking Wingnut Logic. And shut up! POW!
Inconstant Reader said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:31
Err, that last was meant to be P.O.W., not a Batman-style punch.
Frustrated John McCain Spokesperson said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:32
How many times do I have to explain this?!! John McCain is using these extra houses to store all the barrells of oil and $200 tax refund checks he’s going to generously hand out to the American people once he’s elected President of the United States.
I mean, what’s Barack Obama storing away for the American people? Arugula grown in the basement of some secret mosque?
comsympinko said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:34
Some Guy–
I earlier advocated a solution that could dovetail nicely with yours.
On this blog.
We evacuate the Bible Belt and the rest of the nation’s holy-rolling, snake-handling, magic-underwearing crackpot crackers into the Deep South, give the sane residents of the Deep South 90 days to evacuate, then saw the whole thing off and kick it into the Atlantic like Bugs Bunny did that one time.
As for the Strategic Honey Mustard Reserve–some of us are BBQ fans.
We can meet somewhere in the middle.
Will said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:34
To fail to prepare is to prepare for failure.
But if I’m preparing for failure, then aren’t I in fact committing the act of preparing, and therefore not failing to prepare, even if what I’m doing is preparing to… Oh, the hell with it.
Will said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:36
Err, that last was meant to be P.O.W., not a Batman-style punch.
They will be indistinguishable by November, I’m sure.
Malfunctioning McCain Excuse said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:38
Hi, I was a POW. Hanoi Hilton. I draw the line in the sand. Eh wait a second. It’s a cross. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton. POW! Hanoi Hilton.
Some Guy said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:39
I see no reason why we can’t take certain areas of California and the North West and turn it into the Strategic BBQ Reserve.
I notice a distinct lack of support from Saul for procuring 50 new ironclads for the Navy, and not a SINGLE mention of 5,000 new breach-loading 8-pounder cannons w/ magazine carriages. Why do you want us to not be prepared, Saul? Why do you hate America?
I Like Ike said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:45
“What do you think keeps us safe? Happy thoughts and good intentions?”
No, effective defense is what is needed. This is just a step to reinstate the juicy (for weapons millionaires) Cold War.
You’re going to defend against “Iranian missiles” with bases in Poland???
Why not use Italy for bases? We already have bases there. It is CLOSER to Iran.
You need to question your idol’s motives a little more. Try not to be so willing to smile as they rob you (you DO pay taxes, don’t you?)
Laser McSpacefrisbee said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:49
Laugh all you want, but when al-Qaeda starts launching intercontinental ballistic missiles, um, with GPS transponders on them, on a clear day, and there’s only one missile and they tell us its flight path in advance, well, there’s a pretty decent chance that it’s we who will be laughing. At them. Because we might shoot it down.
So laugh now, liberal commie pinko Jacobins.
JF Sebastian said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:50
I’m thinking McCain should go with some kind of “Three Little Pigs” defense about these houses. I haven’t quite worked out what that defense would actually be, but it gives him all sorts of opportunities for some really scary “big bad wolf” metaphors.
Or he could come up with some kind of “Monopoly” defense. Again, not really sure what it should be… maybe something like “Sure, I have a bunch of houses… And I’m going to CASH IN these houses and build a big HOTEL! A big hotel called… AMERICA! And it will be a hotel big enough so all the American people can have the security economic freedom to advance to Boardwalk, but still pass “GO” and collect $200 [in free tax refund checks]! Don’t take a CHANCE on voting for Obama! (Oh, and also everyone American citizen will have FREE PARKING!)”
Something like that.
I mean just put a top hat on McCain and have him grow a big white mustache and he’s the spittin’ image of Monopoly’s Uncle Pennybags– take a look at ‘em both and you’ll see what I mean.
The more I think about it, forget the “Three Little Pigs” thing, that was just stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! What the hell is wrong with me? McCain has to go with the “Monopoly” defense. There’s just no question.
McCain's Humble Jet said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:51
I’m waiting for somebody to ask John how many jets he owns. Then he can proudly say:
“One, exactly One! And no arugula served aboard, either!”
And I’m that ONE! Boy, do I feel special.
Wait a minute. The guy in the hanger just mentioned he has a few Cessnas, too. Oh, the pain of not being the only plane!
Did I mention that John was a P.O.W?
Bummer said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:53
my favorite is the glass house. watch out for boomeranging stones!
sadly, you always make me happy, no?
Smut Clyde said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:57
People who live in glass houses should not throw parties.
Trust me on this.
Smut Clyde said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:57
Also, people with trebuchets should not throw houses. The judge was quite insistent on this point.
The Elite said,
August 22, 2008 at 7:58
Of course McCain is not one of us.
Getting your money by marrying a trollop c*** (as McCain calls her) is just tacky, tacky, tacky.
I’ve heard he is a P.O.W, whatever that is. Another tacky thing!
And he actually owns condos for Pete’s Sake! No self-respecting elite owns anything that he can’t land his jet on.
One final thing: A private jet is a good first step to join us, but just having one is considered nouveau riche by us.
Tacky tacky tacky.
Dept of Fractured Metaphors said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:01
How about: Freepers who live in grass trousers shouldn’t blow bones?
Oh, I’m trying to be too alliterative. I’ll fix it…
Freepers who live in airport restroom stalls shouldn’t blow bones.
Soj said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:15
It’s quite clear the only thing that can save McCain now is the Chewbacca Defense ;)
F'in Librul said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:23
You can always tell the pundits who don’t use Macs. They ignore completely the built-in global spell check because it must be from California, where BARRY is worshipped.
El Cid said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:24
A bunch of leading Republicans must have been tortured with garden rocket (aka the ancient Roman staple often called “arugula”), such is their hate for the $3 vegetable.
Saul said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:24
Fools.
Russia is the central front in the War On Terror.
Any further attack on the US by “irregular forces” will be by Russian proxies.
A new Cold War is just the beginning.
This war needs to turn hot immediately so we can forcibly reduce Russia to the sniveling pile of excrement she was 10 years ago.
tb said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:32
Buhbuhbuhbuh my God, they’re flailing all over the place. It’s like watching John Candy mud wrestle a manatee.
Hoosier X said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:35
Is Saul John Candy or the manatee?
George Smiley said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:35
Agreed, Saul.
I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
Joe Max said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:37
John Cole speculates that the reason behind the McCain freak out is that he had planned to pick Mittens as his VP. Oh boy. Another out-of-touch white guy from a stinking rich family. With his own multiple mansions. The timing could not be more horrible for that choice. They might have to reconsider, throwing the campaign into disarray. Hence the freak out.
lobbey said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:39
Ok, who’s behind the malfunctioning robot over at our sad little friend, risgtwingsparkle, own up, its not big, or clever!
commie atheist said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:47
That is the single stupidest sentence I have ever read in my entire life. Ever. Swear to god.
Saul said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:47
“I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.”
Death in the service of the greater good is the highest reward that awaits the true knight in this battle for the soul of the earth.
We will prevail through the sacrifices of our noble servicemen and servicewomen and our trusted allies.
Whatever it takes.
Terrified Asexual Forcemeat said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:50
The fact is, “arugula” is the sound made by the horn on John McCain’s first car, a black Model T Ford with rumble seats.
Marsupial said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:51
In the MSNBC article about all of this, they quote a DNC “insider” as saying that “if they want to go Rezko, we’ll go Keating 5!”
Yes! Keating 5 (as long as they can explain what that means)! Yes! YES!!
Galactic Dustbin said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:52
This war needs to turn hot immediately so we can forcibly reduce Russia to the sniveling pile of excrement she was 10 years ago.
We alot closer to economic destruction then Russia is at the moment.
Warhorse of Tarragon said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:54
Erm, what’s the second-highest reward? Because I might be willing to settle for that, just wondering.
bargal20 said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:56
My local supermarket here in Australia sells arugula. It’s right next to the other leafy salad vegetables, and I’ve never seen anyone bat an eyelid or comment in hushed tones over its presence. Is arugula really such an amazing thing in America?
Oh, and pointy-headed professors developed the pins that hold my right leg together. Damned pointy-headed assholes…
Saul said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:57
Ask yourselves this:
If it is not for us to save the world from this historic menace, then it is for whom?
We must engage them and annihilate them.
Good will prevail, evil will be destroyed and the narrative will continue
You here will not be a part of the telling.
Time grows late. Until tomorrow.
Shalom, gentlemen.
Guy who knows some Physics said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:57
To be fair, the missile defense emplacements in Poland can’t possibly provide us any protection from Russian missiles, as any thing fired at us from Russia would just go over the Arctic anyway and not come anywhere close to Poland, so Russia is grandstanding about that.
Unfortunately for those in favor of missile defense, they’re completely useless in every possible way. Missiles with systems from the last decade can easily fool the state of the art in missile defense, and any rogue agent who can’t acquire new missiles can just load warheads into shipping containers an send them to our unsecured ports.
El Cid said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:58
When the Keating Five broke up, everyone thought McCain had the best shot at a solo career — and they were right. The press loved him. But they didn’t count on the fact that nearly 20 years after the height of the band’s success — some estimate upwards of $200 billion in taxpayer bailouts and over 700 banks failed — John McCain would pretend that the group never even existed, almost as if he had been some solo maverick his whole career.
Bummer said,
August 22, 2008 at 8:58
‘We will prevail through the sacrifices of our noble servicemen and servicewomen and our trusted allies.”
as long as it ain’t me, im with you Saul, you sound like a winner.
Marquis de Chocula said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:01
The Keating Five’s career, marked by such hit singles as “ABC”, “The Love You Save”, “I Want Your Money” and “Never Can Say No (To Campaign Contributions)” and ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH
Marquis de Chocula said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:03
Saul, what happened? You never sounded like a third-rate Gandalf (or a second-rate Allanon) before.
Marsupial said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:04
Maybe a Keating 5 greatest-hits album is called for here. Get people in that retro mood.
Doctorb said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:09
They’re actually called The Keatings now, because the name “Keating Five” is owned by Lincoln Savings and Loan.
Doctorb said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:12
They should go Diamond.
George Smiley said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:12
Re. Saul:
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: “Saul, sell your business.” He ignores it. It goes on for days. “Saul, sell your business for $3 million.” After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas.” He asks why. “Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas.” He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, “Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand.” He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. “Saul, take a card.” What? The dealer has — “Take a card!” He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. “Saul, take another card.” What? “TAKE ANOTHER CARD!” He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. “Saul, take another card,” the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. “TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!” booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: “un-fucking-believable!”
(Stolen from http://www.bluedonut.com/jokes.htm )
A Different Jake H. said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:21
I think that was D.N. Nation, who was the only one to say “Hi Saul,” and not something, you know, clever.
Marsupial said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:21
Problem (I think) is: as few people there are who know what (or who) the Keating Five are, fewer know Diamond. Doesn’t mean they couldn’t be educated. But the Maverick is just so clean!
ceabaird said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:27
Whaddaya mean “WE”? Are YOU out there on the ramparts (hmmmm, juicy ramparts) guarding the gates of freedom? You’re sounding like a 5th rate “sensitive poet” who are themselves only 3rd rate.
a concerned citizen said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:28
I’ve spent years valiantly fake-trolling here and abroad and have never come up with anything approaching the singular achievements of Ms. Duclos in the field of Wingnology.
It’s one thing to say something fatuous and ignorant, but yet another to actually lower the IQ of those who read you, permanently, by at least 20%. Truly a high water mark of the field. I don’t know what else to do but doff my cap.
Our new-jack fake trolls (lookin’ at you, Eric Pappardelle, &c.) would be advised to take notes. This is, to paraphrase Mr. Montell Jordan, how one does it.
Completely offtopic but I don’t know where else to put it, weren’t we going to have a Sadly, Seattle! meetup (t4toby? Candy? I know there are several others.) Let’s get on that. First round is on me.
El Cid said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:45
Wow. The BBC just had a great interview on the Carnegie endowment’s study on the global super-class. After so many decades being purposefully ignored by “third way” idiocies and when trite ultra-wrong fops like David Brooks or Thomas “Six Months” Friedman are seen as ’sociologists’, are studies of actual power structures based in the realities of the long-term & systematic political / legal influence of the ultra-rich finally back?
bago said,
August 22, 2008 at 10:15
Going to SF this weekend, but a chance to drink and snark? sounds good.
Crissa said,
August 22, 2008 at 11:35
I don’t even think Kerry has four houses.
smut clyde said,
August 22, 2008 at 11:42
That is the single stupidest sentence I have ever read in my entire life. Ever. Swear to god.
I am taking that as a challenge.
Some Guy said,
August 22, 2008 at 12:06
The fact is, Saul reads like bad Klingon poetry. Stop plagiarizing trekkies, Saul.
Crissa said,
August 22, 2008 at 12:16
Also, Saul, Poland doesn’t share a border with Russia.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
August 22, 2008 at 12:20
Saul sounds an awful too infatuated with the Crusades for any real Jew.
shaun said,
August 22, 2008 at 12:46
Obama should have been hammering on the Keating 5 since day one. It should have been the cornerstone of a progressive campaign. It isn’t just dirty attack politics involving some minor transgression. It comes directly from the Republican belief system and it’s a chance to shift the damn Overton Window thingie back towards the left.
It’s all about deregulation. Just keep hitting the Republican drive to deregulate everything except who we are allowed to fuck. Reagan deregulates the banks and we get the S&L crisis. There’s your Keating 5. And how many of the Bush clan can be tied to that as well?
They deregulate the energy sector and we get the Enron scandal. And how many of Bush’s good friends can be tied to that?
They deregulate the lending industry and we get the mortgage meltdown. And how many people working on McCain’s campaign can be tied directly to that?
Then you can throw in all the damn lobbyists that Bush has given jobs over-seeing the industries that were just writing their paycheques the day before.
The public might not remember or know what the Keating 5 is all about but they know they are in the middle of a giant fucking housing crisis and they don’t really understand who to blame. It’s the Obama campaign’s job to make those links and connect it all to the emptiness of the Republican belief system.
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
August 22, 2008 at 12:53
Don’t forget “Baby I got your money (but you can’t have it back because I … um … lost it)”
I thought a Bush (Neil?) was involved in the S&L scandal as well.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
August 22, 2008 at 13:16
Crissa said
>Also, Saul, Poland doesn’t share a border with Russia.
Saul’s an ass, but you’re the one who is wrong on this particular fact. Poland and Russia do share a border. Kaliningrad.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 22, 2008 at 13:35
A Different Jake H. said,
August 22, 2008 at 9:21
I think that was D.N. Nation, who was the only one to say “Hi Saul,” and not something, you know, clever.
I’ll buy Matt McMahon. Even Erik Pontoppidan, sometimes. But no way D.N. is Saul, too! How would he find the time? And what about the kerning?
Mouthbreather in the comments said,
August 22, 2008 at 13:39
If there’s any redeeming virtue in McCain, it’s that he does seem to *get* it when it comes to Mohammedan terrorism.
And when the Blackamoors take Baghdad, and the Saracens overrun the Hindoostani in the east, only the Jesusians will stand in the way of this demon Mahomet.
bkyln said,
August 22, 2008 at 13:44
McPow
Erik Pontoppidan said,
August 22, 2008 at 13:47
Kerning? Is that like arugula? I don’t appreciate being thrown under the bus by an lib Obot for the sake of elitist vegetables.
WereBear said,
August 22, 2008 at 13:49
In a sane world, it wouldn’t matter how many houses McCain owns, it would matter that he’s got serious mental problems that he soothes by wanting to kill other countries.
Of course, we don’t live in a sane world, so I hope this stupid attempt at obfuscation will take the whole “Obama is an elitist” thing out of circulation for good.
I mean, McCain didn’t even pyramid this fortune out of bribery, sweetheart deals, and deregulation, like the big boys. He just divorced his first wife to marry it.
Very Republican, but admirable?
N__B said,
August 22, 2008 at 14:22
So many questions left unanswered…
Is it wrong to eat arugula if one’s head is not pointy but rather pleasing rounded? Or, like mine, somewhat cuboid?
Is it possible to teach at the university level if one has a fear of green-leaf vegetables?
Will an entire nation to fall again for political arguments consisting of pandering to anti-intellectualism so intense that it qualifies as anti-thought?
Is 8:22 AM too early for a drink?
N__B said,
August 22, 2008 at 14:23
“pleasingly,” too.
RH Potfry said,
August 22, 2008 at 14:46
He’s rich. His wife is rich. They gots property by the boatload. Most Americans have come to expect that from their politicians. That’s why most Americans are yawning at this bugaboo.
But when it comes to asshole friends, now there’s a topic we can sink our teeth into.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 14:47
I totally agree with WereBear, the fact that John McCain is flithy stinking rich is a negligible consideration compared to his deep seated desire to cleanse the world of “foreigners”.
However, I just want to point out that JiSM3 does not come from a line of peasants. Four star admiral is the highest rank one can normally achieve in the USN, and both his dad and his dad’s dad helf that position. Junior was CINCPAC. He comes from that rarified strata of the elitest of the elite - the American aristocracy. By comaprison, the Hensley’s are just nouveau-riche.
Additionally, even without Cindy’s beer money, Johnny would still be wealthy. Between his disability, social security and his Senate income he’s pulling in a quarter million a year - then add royalties from his books and we’re at almost $400,000. Sure this is all chump change compared with the beer fortune - which allows him to do stuff like donate the quarter million dollar advance for Faith of my Fathers to charity - but the guy’d probably be able to afford the Ferragamo’s even without Cindy’s help.
Note also that his capital gains declaration is zero. All that investment stuff is in his wife’s name - or rather the Hensley Family Trust. If Johnny-boy didn’t have the Hensley fortune to rely on, he’d definitely have a lot more investment income.
So yeah, Cindy elevates John into the stratospheric heights of the ridiculously rich - but he married up from high enough that he couldn’t see the ground from where he was anyways - what given his failing old man eyesight.
kiki said,
August 22, 2008 at 14:53
When one lives in a glass house, those stones they throw can demolish their own house when they boomerang back at them
The stupidest sentence ever written? Top ten, certainly.
“That throwing-stick stunt of yours has boomeranged on us!” - Australian guy on The Simpsons
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 22, 2008 at 14:54
Is 8:22 AM too early for a drink?
Not on a Friday. Cheers!
stryx said,
August 22, 2008 at 14:56
Isn’t being the scion of American aristocracy one of the reasons JiSM3 got special treatment from the NVA?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 14:57
Not on a Friday. Cheers!
You buncha lushes - at least wait ’til the sun’s past the yardarm. Unless of course you’re still drinking from last night - then it’s all good.
Jennifer said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:00
Yeah bitches, hit on Rezko…that ad just writes itself…”Obama is guilty of buying a piece of property from Rezko at full market price…cost to taxpayers: zero. McCain intervened with federal regulators on behalf of Charles Keating’s failed savings and loan…cost to taxpayers…$2 billion. Who’s the crook, the guy that reached into your pocket for $2 billion, or the guy who didn’t reach into your pocket at all? John McCain, playing the same old Washington games.”
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:02
Isn’t being the scion of American aristocracy one of the reasons JiSM3 got special treatment from the NVA?
Imagine you’re a NVA POW camp commander. You find out that one of your “guests” is the son of CINCPAC. Would you give him special treatment?
Umm, I mean - of course not. John McCain served his country honorable as a P.O.W. Did I mention that he was a P.O.W.? P.O.W. - The surge is working!!! 9/11 9/11 9/11!!! P.O.W.! Those houses are the trollops! Surge! 9/11! P.O.W.!
Jennifer said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:03
And since I brought up the “arugula eating pointy headed professor” (EPIC FAIL) thing on an earlier thread, I have to ask: what the fuck is the GOP’s problem with vegetables? You know, Bush Sr. had a vendetta against brocolli, now with the arugula. If it was brussels sprouts, I would understand, but salad greens?
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:11
Obama’s multi-million dollar Chicago mansion? 1.65 million dollars. Definitely qualifies as a mansion - the place is huge and very expensive.
Cindy paid three times that much for their double condo.
In fact, the story goes like this - the McCains buy a beachfront condo for 50% more than the Obamas spent on their mansion. Turns out that the kids are crowding the place, so Cindy decides to buy another one. Kinda like - oh this 2.7 million dollar 3500 square foot condo is just too cramped, but it is so very nice. What to do… if only I had another couple or three million dollars just lying around, then I could go and get myself another massive luxury condo. Oh wait - I just happen to have three million dollars left over in the “rainy day fund”…
John McCain said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:12
I remember when I could ride the trolley to all my houses for just a nickel. ‘Course, back then nickels had pictures of bees on ‘em. “Gimme five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time…
Doughy Pantload said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:19
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:49
Well, shit for brains, if owing so many houses (or being married to an heiress) is not a problem, why’d you make such a big fucking deal about it in 2004?
Psssch, 2004? Don’t you know 2005 changed everything? Then 2006 changed everything. Then 2007, then 2008. Then yesterday.
History is bunk, and words like “history” don’t even mean anything anyway.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to stomp on the face of Orwell’s corpse some more. Having it exhumed wasn’t cheap, y’know.
Fascist.
Malfunctioning Chris Crocker Robert says said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:21
Leave McCain alone! He was a POW! Leave McCain alone! He was a POW! Leave…
well, you can infer the rest.
Malfunctioning Chris Crocker Robert says said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:21
crap. i meant robot.
kiki said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:23
LOL. “Domo arigerto, Mister Roberto.”
N__B said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:23
wait ’til the sun’s past the yardarm
I’ve never heard it called that before.
Blue Buddha said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:23
Yes, but does his mansion have a shit moat in the style of the Chicago River circa 1900?
The Truth said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:24
I think you guys have really got a trifecta here:
1) McCain was a lousy airman: he got shot down and even made statements as a captive under torture.
2) McCain was part of the Keating Five: I’m sure that’s something bad.
3) McCain couldn’t remember the number of houses they’ve bought: wow let’s get excited about that.
Run with that, liberals. See if the American people respond. I’m just not concerned, but we’ll watch the polls, won’t we, liberals?
By the way, are you guys really turning your convention over to the Clintons? Really?
Blue Buddha said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:27
Muchas gracias, Señor Roberto.
kiki said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:27
Also, my uncle
Sporkey said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:27
My local supermarket here in Australia sells arugula. It’s right next to the other leafy salad vegetables, and I’ve never seen anyone bat an eyelid or comment in hushed tones over its presence. Is arugula really such an amazing thing in America?
No, it’s not, at least in my corner of Wisconsin. They sell it at the local supermarket next to Romaine, iceberg, butter lettuce…and frisee. Honestly, frisee sounds waaaay more elitist than arugula, in my opinion.
N__B said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:27
what the fuck is the GOP’s problem with vegetables? You know, Bush Sr. had a vendetta against brocolli, now with the arugula. If it was brussels sprouts, I would understand, but salad greens?
The Bushes have chosen to represent themselves as Texans and Texas is, of course, one of the states with a law criminalizing libel of beef. Therefore, ipso fatso, cogito-ergo-zero-sum, as beef is good then vegetables must be bad. The rest of the GOP? No idea.
kiki said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:27
Never mind. FWP.
Jennifer said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:29
2) McCain was part of the Keating Five: I’m sure that’s something bad.
It’s only bad if you aren’t a punk and don’t really cotton to the idea of picking up the $2 billion bailout tab for McCain’s political sugar daddy.
Like I said, if you aren’t a punk. And we all know how you enjoy being punked.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:30
Maybe I should have done this:
Sun’s past the yardarm you booze reeking scabrous dogs.
Although, the term is meant for sailing in the North Atlantic, which could be argued to be in the GMT-3 zone. And it typically means about 11:30 AM which would translate to 9:30 AM EDT, so I’m clear to open the bourbon up now.
kiki said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:31
Posting on Wordpress using an unfamiliar fingerpad (my mouse broke yesterday) is like walking a tightrope in a huge iron hat, over a pond full of electrified pirhanas, while drunk.
Nuff Ced McGreavey said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:32
Well, since we are talking about connections to felons. Besides John McCain’s felon buddies Charles Keating and Abramoff, the entire Cindy McCain fortune is based on a criminal enterprise.
The father of Cindy McCain, James Hensley, was convicted by a federal jury in U.S. District Court of Arizona in March 1948 on seven counts of filing false liquor records. Hensley also was charged with conspiracy to hide from federal authorities the names of persons involved in a liquor industry racket with two companies he managed, United Sales Company in Phoenix and United Distributors in Tucson.
The umbrella company, United Liquor, at that time held a monopoly in Arizona, organized and managed by Kemper Marley, who was accused of mob ties by a reporter who was murdered in 1977.
Let’s see an ad on that!
kiki said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:32
Using a live ocelot instead of a balancing pole.
N__B said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:33
Oh that yardarm. I thought we were bragging.
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:34
It isn’t vegetables per se, it’s the eating of vegetables. If you were a Republican you’d shudder at the thought of someone tucking into a big plate of vegetables. You know. Mistaken identity and all that.
stryx said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:35
the entire Cindy McCain fortune is based on a criminal enterprise
Please please please let there be some fur traders be in her heritage…..
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:41
I fear I might be giving a bad impression of myself - what with all the bourbon. Let me state right now that…I also won’t turn down a drop or fifty of single-malt, frozen vodka, unfrozen vodka, seven-year rum, brandy, cognac, most liqueurs, backyard moonshine, that rare old mountain dew or rye. Gin I drink out of a tea-cup in honour of the Queen-Mum.
Also TEQUILA
El Cid said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:47
I think we ort to organize a local action at our supermarkets to get ‘em to stop carrying all these damn fancy greens and whatnot that ain’t got no right to be in a grocery story no damn way.
actor212 said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:48
[I]f a reporter asked me how many ties I own, there’s no way I could answer. Just like McCain, I’d tell him he has to ask my wife.
And like a tie, too many houses is a good way to hang yourself!
actor212 said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:51
The agreement today between the US and Poland regarding the installation of 10 anti-missile batteries on the Russian border is a triumph for the US and Europe in the War On Terror.
…because nothing will stop Arabic fundamentalist terrorists like missiles pointing the other way.
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:52
I’m not Saul.
actor212 said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:53
McCain was a lousy airman: he got shot down and even made statements as a captive under torture.
McCain wasn’t tortured, Troofie. George Bush says so!
Your boy’s a traitorous scumbag!
Blue Buddha said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:55
No, but the wingnuts pretend it is. Let me put it this way: the salad you buy at McFrikkin’Donald’s has arugula in it. I guess this means we need to now call it “ChezDonald’s”.
actor212 said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:55
walking a tightrope in a huge iron hat, over a pond full of electrified pirhanas, while drunk.
Y’know, I know a few Republicans who think that’s a “date”…
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:56
As the son of a son of a sailor
I went out on the sea for adventure
Expanding the view of the captain and crew
Like a man just released from indenture
P.O.W.! Surge!! P.O.W.!!! Cindy’s houses!!!! P.O.W.!!! 9/11!! Maverick! P.O.W.!!!
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 15:57
Yay! The Truth is back! Glad you got your ass all bandaged up after that kicking, dorkus.
FWIW, I’m not really comfortable with mocking McCain’s military service, BUT: He brings it upon himself by responding to every unrelated charge with P.O.W.! P.O.W.!, and you morons opened him up for this yourselves by mocking Kerry’s Purple Hearts in ‘04. Know how I’m always saying you’ve painted yourselves into a corner with the whole elitism argument? You’ve done the same with military service. If bravery can be shat upon, then it can be shat upon for both sides. Sorry!
Says the clown who thinks vague Michelle Obama smears will gain any traction. And by the way, it was something bad. Don’t delight in your own ignorance.
Like I said, you’ve painted yourselves into a corner. After months of Arugula! Orange Juice! Bowling! Cheesesteaks! lunacy, your boy didn’t know how many homes he’s bought. Tit for tat. Don’t like it? You shouldn’t have run with the smears in the first place.
You sound so desperate, Truthy.
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:00
Arugula is sold at Kroger. For pretty cheap. It’s tasty.
How the crap it has come to signify elitism is beyond me. Then again, the shouting heads have made orange juice seem high-falootin’, so whatever.
Dreamweasel said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:07
The wingnuts hope the very timbre of the word “arugula” will bring to mind all of those fussy, effete, faggity-fag-fag-fags who sip lattes and herbal tea.
owlbear1 said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:09
Notice the lede isn’t about McCain’s millions but Obama’s calculations and machinations…
Blue Buddha said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:09
Next thing you know, they’ll be calling Thunderbird and Night Train as elitist, and the media will still lap that shit up.
John T said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:10
I want to see an anti-McCain political ad that starts out with a sepia-toned scene of a young Johnny playing a game of Monopoly with his elite Admiral father and elite Admiral grandfather. It’s 1937 and they’re in a house that looks like the climactic scene from “There Will Be Blood”. There’s a jaunty Scott Joplin tune playing on the Victrola in the background.
Little Johnny can’t keep track of how many houses he owns on the Monopoly board, and loses the game and throws a temper tantrum and calls his grandpa a fucking cunt because grandpa won’t give him a bank bailout.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:13
Normally I’m with you guys 100%, but arugula is indefensible. Next thing you know, we’ll be talking about dandelion greens, mizuna and frisee with walnut chunks and a truffle oil - white balsamic dressing. Face it, bitter greens are as elitist as calling it ohn-deev or discussing swapping kale into your laver bread recipe.
N.C. said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:18
1) Obama something something SCARY BLACK PASTOR Wright something something
2) Obama yadda blah bloo DIRTY FUCKING HIPPIE Ayers blah blah blah
3) Obama yak yak blorp CHICAGO POLITICAL MACHINE Rezko clang clang clang
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:20
owlbear,
It is pretty shocking that they got Rezko into that story - he’s kinda peripheral at best. But you gotta admit, the final paragraph of that linked article is not bad:
owlbear1 said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:33
That was the lede…
Candy said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:33
If there is, in fact, a Heaven and a Hell, all we know for sure is that Hell will be a viciously overcrowded version of Phoenix - Hunter S. Thompson
I seem to recall Thompson writing about this crime in Generation of Sswine but a brief search didn’t turn up what I was looking for and my copy of the book wound up boxed in the back of my closet when A. got on one of his organizing trips. I did find the above quote and a link to a post about the issue.
McCain’s Ties to Organized Crime
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:35
My favorite part of the Malkin post is this:
Because you see - the whole elitist accusation has no legs - as if anyone cares who’s elitist. Certainly not MM.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:37
That was the lede…
Sure, and we really shouldn’t be grading media coverage on some sort of bell curve. But that last paragraph is harsher treatment then the media has ever given Maverick McP.O.W. - and you gotta start somewhere.
actor212 said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:41
The wingnuts hope the very timbre of the word “arugula”
Arugula, chickory, Oooh, I want to take you to
Latuca sativa, come on pretty mama,
Looseleaf, Romaine, baby why don’t we go down to Butterhead
We’ll get there fast and then we’ll take it Bibb…
OK, that’s not working out the way I hoped it might…
stryx said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:44
be calling Thunderbird and Night Train as elitist
You mean those fortified wines, which are just like Graham’s 20 Year Finest Cask Natural Tawny Port?
The Truth said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:49
I’m preserving the link to this post for posterity, liberals, and posting a link to this on November 5.
Welcome to a post from August, readers from my future! Remember when you thought you could beat McCain by beating him up on the number of houses he had, and how he couldn’t recall it? Seems kinda pointless in retrospect, I know, now that McCain has been elected. I just wanted to remind you how ridiculous and pathetic you were that summer.
The Truth said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:55
NC, the damage from Ayers and Wright is done. It is a big reason why Obama’s polling numbers have had the ceiling that they have. Now voters are seeing Obama talk, away from his script, and they are starting to realize that the man is an empty suit. Thus his numbers decline…
Now what I’d really like to have happen is two things. One, get Michelle Obama out there talking! That’s something that can really move the needle downwards again for Obama. Michelle can’t hide her disdain for white people, it is painfully obvious and a discussion of her resume to date will be very damaging Obama.
Two, have liberals concentrate their fire on McCain’s military record and wealth. You already know what the result of that will be, but watching you go through that pointless exercise will be a lot of fun.
Hell, let’s add a third: turn the convention over to the Clintons. But you are already doing that, aren’t you, liberals?
Not Susan Duclos said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:55
Go ahead and laugh all you want, but one would think you Sadlynaughts would have realized at some point that when one laughs, the person at whom one is laughing may well boomerang that laughter back at one, all the way to the bank, last.
Nuff Ced McGreavey said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:58
Candy-
Here’s more on the Cindy McCain fortune:
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2000-02-17/news/haunted-by-spirits/1
The Truth said,
August 22, 2008 at 16:58
It’s amazing that I think repeating the same three things over and over and over and over makes me fucking Daniel Webster. I’m pathetic.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:04
These wingnuts are making a lot of sense.
After all he who laughs last is worth two in the bush. People who live in glass houses are also safe from the big bad wolf and stones should only be cast by he who is without a broken mold. Neither a borrower nor a lender got away from the Savings and Loan scandal smelling like rose colored glasses.
owlbear1 said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:05
So if “Elitism” is such a pointless exercise The Titmouse, why has it been the central focus of Johnny’s campaign advertising?
Are saying McCain wasn’t trying to point out how rich Obama is but served a deferent purpose?
owlbear1 said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:07
You know sometimes being a speed reader can really fuck up your grammar and syntax.
sagra said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:08
Um, Obama’s brother owns an electronics shop and flies to Washington every year to do consulting work. So withering away? Not so much.
People can actually enjoy living in their home country, wingnuts.
Albatross said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:09
Big surprise, Malkkkin is WRONG. Since her imprecise language could be interpreted to include NON-U.S. “states,” McCain actually DOESN’T remember how many “states” there are. He still thinks the Czech Republic and Slovakia are ONE state, as well as Yugoslavia…
Throwin Stones said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:10
How many Shit-Moats(TM) does McCain have?
McCain’s “Housing Problem” « Red Tory v.3.0 said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:11
[...] close to being a saint. This and other hilarious responses from around the wingnuosphere have been compiled for your amusement by folks at Sadly [...]
D.N. Nation said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:14
Ding ding ding! No one would have given much of a shit about McCain’s houses had he and his nitwit handlers made such a stink about elitism/celebrity/whatever. Framing a debate that you yourself would lose = Epic fail.
sagra said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:15
Don’t count McCain out quite yet. He is still in the position to throw a lot of stones. If he smashes too many of his glass houses, he can simply ask his wife to buy him some more.
Blue Buddha said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:15
Not so much Obama himself, who recently went to that very exotic and foreign place of Hawaii. I bet he joined the savage Hawaiian natives by sticking a bone in his nose and eating a stew made from a helpless British explorer stuffed in a cast iron cauldron of boiling water.
sagra said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:17
I hear that McCain is paying people $50 an hour to pick lettuce.
Malfunctioning The Truth Robot said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:18
You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me! You oozing arugula-munchers! You evil LIE-bruls! Watch the polls! The polls! The polls! The polls! Did I mention that McP.O.W. was a POW? You guys will be regretting your statements in November! I am right! My mommy tells me to keep repeating stuff to make poopyhead LIE-bruls obey me!
Jonah Goldberg said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:19
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!
It is my name! Because I cannot have another in my life! Because I lie and sign myself to lies! Because I am not worth the dust on the feet of them that hang! How may I live without my name? I have given you my soul; leave me my name!
owlbear1 said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:21
“…eating a stew made from a helpless British explorer stuffed in a cast iron cauldron of boiling water.”
You’d think British explorers would stop bringing giant cast iron cauldrons along during their trips into primitive jungles.
Doctor Feelgood said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:21
“Michelle can’t hide her disdain for white people,”
Yeah, but Cindy can’t hide her tremendous addiction to white pills, so there you go.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:28
This reminds me of back during the Great Primary Wars of Ought Eight how Hillary Clinton was trying to portray Barack Obama as the Washington insider - and she was the fresh breath candidate of change. Good times.
The big joke about Malkin’s “Snooze.” comment is that she is still painting Obama as an elitist. The top of that post is the Snob-ama parody poster. And it’s not like she’s arguing that JiSM3 isn’t elitist. Basically the entire post is an open statement of IOKIYAAR.
The ridiculousness of it is even confusing her commenters who can’t decide between “GO TEAM RICH AND POWERFUL!!!” and “DHIMMICRATS GOTS MORE CASH BUCKS THAN ANYBODY!”. The cognitive dissonance caused by realizing that the populist maverick who understands your pain is really richer than Paris Hilton is FUCKING HILARIOUS.
Svensker said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:28
Obama:
One home, one wife.
Miltary Industrial Complex said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:30
Uh. Hello! They’re very useful to my bottom line!
Wingnut Welfare Office said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:32
We have been seeing a big upswing in business.
Most of our applicants are college graduates from low and mid-level colleges who get completely worthless BA degrees in PolySci or English. Pretty much every single one of them notes that their undergraduate llife resembled nothing other than The Man Of La Mancha. Their descriptions frequently, to the exclusion of all other adjectives, “evil liberals” that seemed to lurk everywhere on campus, including for most of them, under their beds and coffee tables.
These people are completely, 100%, certified by KPMG, absolutely unemployable in any traditional sense of the word. They cannot produce anything like physical objects or repair anything beyond (some of them) tightening a loose screw. Their intellectual products pretty much all end up going back to a Quixotesic mode of “I’m such a victim! It is me against the world!”.
These kind of “thoughts” are nice for 8 to 10 year olds just discovering their own personalities, but kinda worthless for anybody past puberty.
I post this because our Office just has no idea what to do with all these losers. Can anyone here help us?
PLEASE!!!???!!!!????
McCain Housing Corporation said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:37
“I hear that McCain is paying people $50 an hour to pick lettuce.”
And free housing. I’ve heard that he - oops, she - has a lot of houses.
Dreamweasel said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:37
McCain “doesn’t disagree” with necessity of bringing back the draft.
The Truth said,
August 22, 2008 at 17:39
Yeah, well, Michelle Obama Michelle Obama Michelle Obama derp de durr de diddily doodily sploot.
The Truth said,
Augus