Aug
21

Schlussel Wins Gold In The Olympic Wanker-Athalon




Posted at 18:33 by Tintin
Debbie Schlussel (left) and Insane Clown (left)

I certainly figured that the Olympic gold medal won by Henry Cejudo, an American citizen whose parents are undocumented aliens from Mexico, would have created a groundswell of outrage among certain of the looney-tunier quarters of the blogosphere. Michelle Malkin, the sworn nemesis of all “anchor babies,” I imagined, would be feverishly posting demands that the U.S. renounce the gold medal won by this alleged U.S. citizen. Similarly I imagined that Derbyshire and other Cornerdomites would go one step farther and demand that Mexico be disqualified from the Olympics for having illegally snuck a Mexican onto the U.S. team. Strangely, though, there was not a peep about any of this from any of the usual suspects. Apparently, “anchor babies” aren’t U.S. citizens when they are attending elementary school but are more American than St. Ronald Reagan and his blessed helpmeet Nancy when they’re busy winning gold medals.

Of course, it wasn’t long before Debbie Schlüßelstücke was on the Cejudo case like jack cheese on nachos, offering a classic wingnut “heads we win, tails you lose” take on the affair: the U.S. keeps the medal and it deports Cejudo’s mother. And you thought compassionate conservatism was dead.

Is it just me . . . or are you also bothered by the mainstream liberal media’s heavy coverage of Henry Cejudo’s Olympic gold medal win in wrestling? Usually, no-one cares who won the gold medal in wrestling. … But Cejudo is different. Why? Not because he won the 55-kilogram men’s freestyle event in Beijing. But because his parents are illegal aliens from Mexico

Yeah, that’s the only reason the medal was reported. It was absolutely irrelevant that the young and photogenic Cejudo, who burst into tears when he won, was one of only six U.S. citizens ever awarded gold in this event and the youngest American to ever win Olympic Gold in wrestling.

Kudos to him that he won an Olympic gold medal. … But [his mother] took jobs from and lowered wages for American citizens. And she was breaking the law by being here.

You have to wonder how many jobs his mother took so that she single-handedly lowered wages for U.S. citizens.

And was Cejudo’s Olympic gold medal worth anything to American taxpayers versus the cost of services his parents likely took from American tax-funded coffers?

Of course, not only did she take so many jobs as to lower wage rates but she was on the public dole too.

Most illegal aliens and their birthright citizenship-endowed kids–anchor babies–are not Olympic gold medalists or Harvard-bound valedictorians.

Of course, most U.S. citizens (including Frau Schlüßelstücke von Michigan herself) aren’t Olympic gold medalists or Harvard-bound valedictorians either, so her point is here, shall we say, just a little murky.

The result of Debbie’s free-style frothing, of course, worked her commenters up into torch-and-pitchfork frenzy, calling explicitly for what Debbie was implicitly urging: pack up Cejudo’s family and put ‘em on a one-way bus ride to Tijuana:

So Cejudo’s parents are illegal aliens, and now this illegal family has gotten a lot of publicity. Why don’t any of these media hacks call for the immediate deportation and/or imprisonment of these illegal aliens in his family. If we follow the law, especially with these now-prominent people, the law would be applied to these criminals immediately.

Commenter “samurai” thinks even that’s not enough:

Deporting doesn’t work. You must send them to a horrible detention center such as could be done on, oh maybe Devils Island, it held Pappilon for a while. Anchor babies would go with them.

Is this the part where we cue up the song “Proud To Be an American”?

123 Comments »

  1. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:40

    Okay, I’m not mad about McCain’s million houses anymore.

    Stay Classy Schlussel.

  2. erlking said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:40

    If we get rid of being born here as the sole requirement for citizenship, what do we use to determine status? A test? A game show? How many generations do we have to have been in the United States for offspring to be citizens? Does time spent living in Hawaii count in full or only partly?

  3. Me said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:43

    Would that Cejudo’s parents had never come to this country. Then we wouldn’t be burdened with their overachieving son.

  4. actor212 said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:43

    But….but…She’s MEXICAN!

  5. Grand Moff Texan said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:43

    But [his mother] took jobs from and lowered wages for American citizens. And she was breaking the law by being here.

    … which is the way Republicans like it. Anything to fuck people who work for a living.
    .

  6. norbizness said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:44

    So Chris Penn didn’t die after all!

  7. fauxmaxbaer said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:44

    If Debbie does want to go for the gold, this would probably be a shoo-in:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uf5iE5cCbPc

  8. fauxmaxbaer said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:46

    I think she’s a shoo-in for the gold here:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uf5iE5cCbPc

  9. D.N. Nation said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:47

    Usually, no-one cares who won the gold medal in wrestling

    Here in America, where we speak English, that should be “no one.” Just letting you know, Deb.

  10. fadgeophile said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:47

    And was Cejudo’s Olympic gold medal worth anything to American taxpayers versus the cost of services his parents likely took from American tax-funded coffers?

    Yes.

    Next question.

  11. Zifnab said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:48

    You know, they’re already in China. Can’t we just have Chinese officials arrest him and his family, try them, have them all executed, and charge the extended family for the bullets?

    Cause, you know… the law is the law.

  12. woody, tokin librul said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:48

    Debbie’s whole affect would be improved if somebody shoved a cage of rabid gerbils up her ass, wouldn’t it? I mean, aside from the gerbils, what could it hurt?

  13. woody, tokin librul said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:50

    Debbie won the silver medal for most excess chins, iirc

  14. actor212 said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:50

    Debbie’s whole affect would be improved if somebody shoved a cage of rabid gerbils up her ass, wouldn’t it? I mean, aside from the gerbils, what could it hurt?

    The cage.

  15. Michael G. said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:52

    I know Debbie’s anti-immigrant diatribe sounds really harsh and cruel, but you have to trust me: it sounds like poetry in the original German.

  16. J— said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:53

    Deporting doesn’t work. You must send them to a horrible detention center such as could be done on, oh maybe Devils Island, it held Pappilon for a while. Anchor babies would go with them.

    Yeah, because the United States has territorial sovereignty over the French overseas department of Guyane. That’ll work.

    And it’s Papillon, moran.

  17. Michael G. said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:54

    Maybe we should restrict citizenship only to gold medalists and Harvard valedictorians. It’d be easier to count the votes.

  18. fadgeophile said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:58

    Here in America, where we speak English,

    Why do you hate America, D.N.?

    Here in America, we speak American, not some Frenchy sounding Brit-speak!

  19. fadgeophile said,

    August 21, 2008 at 18:58

    And for the record, I have had every comment for at least two weeks sent to moderation. What gives?

  20. fadgeophile said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:00

    faumaxbaer-

    That’s cold, dawg.

    Like an ice cold IPA on a hot day.

  21. ice weasel said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:01

    They really just parody themselves anymore. It’s so fucking hateful and pointless that, that, that…

    fuckit, I’m out of words.

  22. Cangrejero said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:02

    Coming to London 2012, the new K-Mart Coulter law of the Olympics:

    No medals will be awarded until a thorough background check of the athlete’s parents concludes that they have never broken the law.

    I mean, that’s the phrase they Schlussel and her ilk keep using: “Break the law.” I’m sure there concern has nothing to do with racism.

  23. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:03

    Not to Alkon-ize this thread, but I have to point out that Olympic Gold Medallist Henry Cejudo is one of seven children raised by a single mom. Or in other words – Fuck You, Amy Alkon.

  24. Mrs. Tarquin Biscuitbarrel said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:05

    Henry Cejudo’s father died last year. I’m sure that Schlussel will be sorry that that’s just one more Mexican she can’t deport.

  25. Frau Schlüßelstücke von Michigan said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:05

    Ich kann nicht glauben, dass sie einen Mann von seinem weniger menschlichen Stammbaum lassen würden, konkurriert in den Olympischen Spielen, als er ist nicht mal ein wirklicher Bürger sollte und deportiert werden oder sollte in ein schreckliches Gefängnis weil gestellt werden. ..are Sie gonna Ende das? …liberals ist der Abschaum von den Erden und den DEBBIE ZERSCHLÄGT DEBBIE KRACH DEBBIE HUNGRIG

  26. tigrismus said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:07

    From here, it’s esimated that ~3/4 of illegal immigrants pay payroll taxes, paying “roughly $90 billion in federal taxes” from 96-03, and according to an NRC study cited here bring an average, per family, of $80,000 more to the federales than the families use in various services.

  27. lfv said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:07

    Usually, no-one cares who won the gold medal in wrestling.

    I remember it being a pretty big freaking deal when Rulon Gardner won the gold back in 2000. He had endorsement deals for years afterwards.

  28. ice weasel said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:08

    You read through the hateful piece of shit schlussel wrote and see the phrase “anchor baby” in various version so many times it makes me wonder if Word on her computer doesn’t automatically substitute the hateful term for something else schlussel wrote.

    Honestly, this shit is so far over the top and the comments are so deranged it’s simply amazing.

    And how many of these fuckers, the bloated schlussel included, support the “rule of law” so much so that they themselves never break a law?

    I know the answer to that question to you.

    There really aren’t vile words enough to describe schlussel.

  29. jim said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:09

    The caption made me LOL.
    Then Debbie made me sad.
    Then the comments made me LOL some more.
    All in all, it’s a net win.

  30. Jay B. said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:11

    But that gymnast who won the all-around Gold, her parents are Russian. Sure, they might be here legally, but do we really want to take that chance? If only she got half the press of that wrestler (*sarcasm, I literally hadn’t heard any of this about the wrasslin’ gold, while my wife is putting up newspaper clippings of the gymnast).

    It’s fun to watch their mindless nationalism (USA GOLD GOOD) run smack into their heartless racism (BUT HE’S ONLY BARELY A CITIZEN). The romantic in me thinks it marginalizes them just a little more.

  31. FuriousGeorge said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:12

    At least the Bear Patrol seems to be doing its job.

  32. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:12

    I just read through the NYT article she links. That she could read that story and end her column with:

    Not that Henry Cejudo didn’t work hard. But his parents worked harder . . . at piercing America’s borders and breaking the law.

    I mean…fuck. ice weasel’s summed it up – There really aren’t vile words enough to describe schlussel.

  33. Manna Montana AKA Smiley Virus said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:13

    Of course, not only did she take so many jobs as to lower wage rates but she was on the public dole too.

    Oops! This is precisely why Li’l Debbie is a 5th-tier wingnüt: In her fevered attempt to smear a brown person, she accidentally admitted that yes, corporations (many of which hire undocumented workers) are often subsidized by taxpayers, and that they are in fact the biggest welfare cheats of all.

  34. Ann Althouse Digs The Pole Vault, If You Know What I Mean, And I Think You Do said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:15

    I tried to show Deb what a world-class wrestler can do, even though she was waaaaaaaay above my weight class, but she kept trying to peel the gold off my medal because she thought that there was chocolate underneath.

  35. J— said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:16

    But that gymnast who won the all-around Gold, her parents are Russian. Sure, they might be here legally, but do we really want to take that chance?

    Liukin will miss the closing ceremony as she has already flown back to the U.S. to work the talk show circuit. She’s American to the core!

  36. Gerald Curl said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:19

    Ah, Debbielita’s tears taste like Jarritos Mandarin.

  37. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:20

    It is 2 funnee 4ever:

    The founding Fathers knew what to call it, Tyranny.

    Our current Government is so out of control that it may be to late to bring them back to the alter of law and order.

    They have been allowed to break the law, ignore the law and make unconstitutional laws for so long they have no idea what the Constitution says anymore.

    ..and sadly it is the MSM that has been their biggest cheerleader.

    Posted by: ScottyDog at August 21, 2008 12:50 PM

    Tyrrany – n. an oppressive and horrible state characterized by the lax enforcement of laws

  38. LA Confidential Pantload said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:22

    Did Deb manage to work any of her special animus for women hoop players in there anywhere?

  39. Thunderbird said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:25

    It seems like she’s in competition with Malkin and Coulter for the title “Most Heartless Commentator.”

    If lack of compassion were an Olympic event, she’d be in the running for a medal.

  40. Ripley said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:26

    Look out, Andy Rooney! Someone’s gunnin’ for you!

    Debbie’s next column:

    “You know what else I don’t like? Catsup… What happened to ketchup? Catsup just sounds funny and makes me feel a little nervous. I like ketchup better.”

  41. lobbey said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:30

    Deb should quit the day job & try porn. At least she would be doing something she enjoyed.

  42. Inconstant Reader said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:32

    Not that Henry Cejudo didn’t work hard. But his parents worked harder . . . at piercing America’s borders and breaking the law.

    “Not every wrong, or even every violation of the law, is a crime.” — Bushco Attorney General Michael Mukasey

  43. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:33

    We see these stories occasionally–about the high school valedictorian going to Harvard who is an anchor baby or an illegal alien that ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement) seeks to deport.

    Or a pair of anchor babies get together and have an anchor-anchor baby that becomes Attorney General of the United States. I’m all on board with the horrible detention center on an island, just so long as we start with you-know-who.

  44. Cangrejero said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:35

    LOL at “the alter of law and order.”

    Is that when you change channels because you’ve already seen that episode?

  45. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:41

    Cangrejero,

    Actually, I think it’s when they replace the ADA with a younger actress.

  46. J— said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:46

    Is this the part where we cue up the song “Proud To Be an American”?

    Hell no! They play that at naturalization ceremonies! Cejudo’s parents can pierce our borders, break our law, and steal our jobs, but they’re not taking our Lee Greenwood. Never!

  47. actor212 said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:47

    Cejudo’s parents can pierce our borders

    Mmmmmmmmmmmmm, border violation….just brush past our defenses, leaving us naked and unprotected…..*drool*

  48. eidos said,

    August 21, 2008 at 19:51

    The corporatist wing of the Republican Party is, of course, responsible for the de facto guest worker class of undocumented immigrants that can be exploited due to their illegal alien status. They have paid lip service to the racist wing of the party (represented by Malkin, Schlussel et al) and collected their votes while maintaining the status quo for years. McCain is in the corporatist camp on this issue. Will this conflict come up during their convention?

  49. christian h. said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:06

    First they take our jobs. Then they take our Gold Medals. Where is it going to end???!!!!11!!

  50. Bitter Scribe, the sexy, blonde, and beautiful commentator, said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:07

    Henry Cejudo’s father died last year. I’m sure that Schlussel will be sorry that that’s just one more Mexican she can’t deport.

    Let’s dig him up and deport the corpse!

  51. Candy said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:10

    Once again, I have to say I just can’t believe that idiot woman is a practising attorney! FFS!

    Is she still typing in ALL CAPS when she responds to a commenter? I’m just curious, but not curious enough to go over there and find out for myself. I have to drive in a few minutes and don’t want to be blind with rage.

  52. Should Know Better said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:14

    I do love how the Olympics brings people together.

    So inspiring.

    ::sniffle::

  53. ahem said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:15

    “birthright citizenship-endowed kids”

    I think you mean “U.S. citizens”, K-Mart Koulter. There ain’t no difference between you and them.

  54. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:24

    Maybe every medal won by someone not an American should be returned.

    So, let’s hope someone from the Mayflower is up for the double bars or some shit, because everybody else is a dirty, filthy fucking immigrant unfit to lick Puritan bootheel.

  55. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:24

    Let’s dig him up and deport the corpse!

    Henry Cejudo’s father died in Mexico City. I don’t know that he’s buried there, but if he is – then digging up the corpse to deport it to Mexico seems even more pointless than normal corpse deporting would be – which is pretty amazing.

  56. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:27

    Is that when you change channels because you’ve already seen that episode?

    Why bother, it’s on all the other channels too. Soon, there’ll be enough Law & order programs that you’ll flick past 100 channels without once seeing something other than Richard Belzer and Ice T.

  57. J— said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:28

    Here’s a good one. Commenter Kalifornia Kafir at 3:37 PM (emphasis and ellipsis in original):

    I also found it annoying that the NBC commentators went straight to interview Lolo Jones when she LOST the 100m hurdles even though an American woman, Dawn Harper, won the event. All they could talk about was Lolo… because Lolo has the better sob story: her family used to be homeless. Dawn Harper’s from East St. Louis which is not exactly Beverly Hills, so I’m sure there’s a story there.

    Strange, all this time I thought they spoke with Jones first because she left the track quickly while Harper stayed on to celebrate. Silly me.

  58. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:28

    FYWP! Free zombie Jorge Cujedos – so we can deport him back to Mexico where he already is.

  59. Ripley said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:29

    Isn’t this exactly the kind of story that the Chirporactic Cheerleader was demanding?

  60. Matt T. said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:42

    Will this conflict come up during their convention?

    No. More lip-service to the actively racist wing of the party (as opposed to the merely passively racist wing, which is damn near everyone else), but no real discussion as to just why the power players aren’t in that tearing a hurry to put themselves in a position where they’d actually have to follow all the laws.

    But it’d be fun to watch, wouldn’t it?

  61. fadgeophile said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:54

    Maybe Zombie Jorge Cujedos and Zombie Iris could duke it out for Zombie Domination.

  62. Snorghagen said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:57

    Deb should quit the day job & try porn.

    AIEEEEE!!!

  63. Nascar McHeartland said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:57

    My parents used to make a good living picking lettuce for twenty-eight dollars an hour plus benefits, but then Nelly Rico showed up, undercut them, and they got shit-canned. Plus in high school I couldn’t get a job bussing tables because I spoke American and wanted more than two bucks an hour. And not only that, the other day when I called my phone, er, therapy line, a recorded voice told me “For hot, wet girl-on-girl action, press one. Paruhspaniel opreemadose”. I ‘m not sure why but I think this may be related.

    And you know what? When my ancestors immigrated here, they didn’t take people’s jobs away or get welfare. They invented new jobs that nobody had before, like “spackle instigator” and “air traffic comptroller” and “assistant trout management trainee”.

  64. Adolf Hitler said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:58

    Ein Volk, ein Reich, ein Dead Mexican, ein Fuhrer!

  65. Hoosier X said,

    August 21, 2008 at 20:58

    More lip-service to the actively racist wing of the party (as opposed to the merely passively racist wing, which is damn near everyone else)

    I think you’re being very generous here.

  66. actor212 said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:01

    When my ancestors immigrated here, they didn’t take people’s jobs away or get welfare. They invented new jobs that nobody had before, like “spackle instigator” and “air traffic comptroller” and “assistant trout management trainee”.

    And “creative consultant”…

  67. Cletus von Clausewitz said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:02

    Scooter Libby broke the law. Can we deport him?
    Off topic, but did Schussel ever have a job interview with Monica Goodling? I would enjoy hearing what rationale Goodling used to reject the Debster.
    “She’s conservative, and insane, and petty, and vindictive, and nasty, and non-lez. But did you see those shoes!”

  68. EnfantTerrible said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:04

    Has Malkin been dispatched to inspect the Cejudos’ driveway, countertops, garbage, etc?

  69. Candy said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:10

    because Lolo has the better sob story: her family used to be homeless. Dawn Harper’s from East St. Louis which is not exactly Beverly Hills, so I’m sure there’s a story there.

    Goddamn this pisses me off. Lolo Jones is from my neighborhood; she graduated from Roosevelt High School in 2000, where my son is now a junior. She is by all accounts an exemplary American success story. She gave all the money she won in her last big competition to a single mother who lost her home in the floods this summer. She’s a really, really good person.

    I kept thinking about Lolo Jones all during the Alkon War. By Alkon and Lil Debbie’s standards, Lolo Jones should be an abject failure, shooting smack and smoking crack. Michael Phelps mom was a single mother, too. I suppose he’ll be picking up the crack pipe any day now.

    Fuck these fucking horrible, bitter, vindictive, nasty fuckwads.

  70. Matt T. said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:11

    I think you’re being very generous here.

    I know, but it unnerves me to have to own to the idea, nay, the very fact that a solid chunk of the voting public are cowardly racist toadies. As my brother says, a cynic is just an idealist who continues to set himself up for disappointment.

  71. gainsayer said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:12

    Debbie Schlussel (left)

    I would imagine norbizness resents the implication of that.

  72. MalkinFan1984 said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:17

    After several wrong addresses and a misunderstanding with the police, I managed to find the Cejudos’ home and secure access to the garbage. Inside were orange and banana peels, coffee grounds and fish skeletons. I examined the entire trash barrel, digging to the very bottom, but could not find more evidence of their treachery. The fish skeletons probably indicate that they are papists, though.

    By dislocating both my arms I was able to enter their house through the dog door. The dog bit me on the face but then ran off whimpering, who knew dogs don’t like an Aqua Velva man? Anyway inside the kitchen was some sort of Mexicanist Reconquista type propaganda painting: the eagle from the Mexican flag, but instead of a snake it was holding a bunch of arrows and something that looked like grape vines (note: watch out for migrant grape-pickers armed with bows and arrows) and underneath some sort of motto in Spanish that ended in “unum” which I think is like “unity”, probably some sort of mexofascist identity politics thing. Also there was a taco, no, two tacos. At this point I heard voices so I ran away, my still-dislocated arms flapping like painful streamers. Unfortunately I left my camera there so I cannot corraborate colloro prove this.

    Also does anyone have the phone number of Dr. Melissa Clouthier? My arms are still dangling uselessly at my sides.

  73. "Bruce" said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:19

    Debbie is a walking, (almost) talking anthropological, anomalous abomination. She should be deported, just cause she’s such an unbearable shit .

  74. Debbie Schlussel Fails :( said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:19

    Debbie always looked familiar to me…and then I found this pic and realized why:
    http://images.wikia.com/muppet/images/f/f9/Babypiggy.jpg

  75. shane said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:20

    You know, reading this hateful venom, I’m coming up short on the snark today. It’s just so fucking sad and pathetic, not only that people are so hateful and vindictive, but they’re not even ashamed to express it.

  76. seventwentyfour said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:21

    If we get rid of being born here as the sole requirement for citizenship, what do we use to determine status? A test? A game show?

    I’m all for the game show. But isn’t there already something out there where you lock intellectual horns with a first grader? Tweak the rules a bit and you’re good. You win “certified” citizenship if you lose the debate with the youngster. Then no matter who wins, the smarty-pants seven year old is taken backstage and shot dead in a cone of silence — because most elementary school children are elitist little fucks spending their days making crayon still lifes of arugula while real people work.

  77. OneMadClown said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:22

    (note: watch out for migrant grape-pickers armed with bows and arrows)

    Win.

  78. "Bruce" said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:22

    shane said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:20

    You know, reading this hateful venom, I’m coming up short on the snark today. It’s just so fucking sad and pathetic, not only that people are so hateful and vindictive, but they’re not even ashamed to express it.

    Yeah, you’re right Shane, go fuck yourself.

  79. MzNicky said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:24

    MalkinFan1984:
    But what about the countertops? For God’s sake man, quit whining about your useless limbs and tell us! Granite, right? Corian™? What?

  80. J— said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:25

    I read shane’s statement as referring to Schlussel and her commenters.

  81. OneMadClown said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:25

    Yeah, you’re right Shane, go fuck yourself.

    Crikey…Where did that come from?

  82. "Bruce" said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:27

    J— said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:25

    I read shane’s statement as referring to Schlussel and her commenters.

    If that’s the case, my deepest, sincerest apologies. I’m so rattled by Debbie’s article I can’t see straight.

  83. commie atheist said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:28

    It seems like she’s in competition with Malkin and Coulter for the title “Most Heartless Commentator.”

    If lack of compassion were an Olympic event, she’d be in the running for a medal.

    Is “compassionless conservative” an oxymoron?

  84. Matt T. said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:34

    Is “compassionless conservative” an oxymoron?

    No, but it is redundant. And when you look up “redundant” in the dictionary, it says “See redundant”.

  85. J Neo Marvin said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:36

    What a miserable creature. Are conservatives biologically incapable of enjoying abnything?

  86. J Neo Marvin said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:36

    Anything, that is.

  87. Debbie Schlussel Fails :( said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:38

    What a miserable creature. Are conservatives biologically incapable of enjoying abnything?

    Cheetos, Halo, 24, waterboarding and fapping to Reagan

  88. Debbie Schlussel Fails :( said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:38

    ^are

  89. eidos said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:43

    The article wraps up the right’s psychopathology in a neat little package: projection of their own feelings of guilt and worthlessness on a convenient scapegoat combined with copious delusional victimhood.

  90. commie atheist said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:43

    Is “compassionless conservative” an oxymoron?

    No, but it is redundant. And when you look up “redundant” in the dictionary, it says “See redundant”.

    Duh, that’s what I meant. Got lost in the Department of Redundancy Department.

  91. Queen of Hearts said,

    August 21, 2008 at 21:44

    OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!

  92. Joshua said,

    August 21, 2008 at 22:04

    “Usually, no-one cares who won the gold medal in wrestling”

    Oh Debbie. The only reason no-one cares about the gold medal in wrestling is because no Americans ever win it. See, Americans don’t care about these sports unless they are kicking ass in them. I’d actually say that’s a bad thing, but to each their own. The media is reporting on it because its a gold medal in a sport the USA has done terribly in historically.

    I mean, I remember the first Olympics I watched was 1992. The US Boxing Team was supposed to be pretty good but got their ass ripped except for one boxer. His name? Oscar De La Hoya. He became a huge star if I remember. The US Boxing Team has gotten crushed (by Cuba no less) every year since. So no-one cares about the gold medal in boxing anymore.

  93. MalkinFan1984 said,

    August 21, 2008 at 22:11

    For some reason (probably massive government handouts) the family was able to afford countertops, but as I was unable to stand up due to my arms being dislocated I could not see what they looked like.

  94. Some Guy said,

    August 21, 2008 at 22:19

    “Why don’t any of these media hacks call for the immediate deportation and/or imprisonment of these illegal aliens in his family.”

    … Same reason why most media “hacks” weren’t too keen on demanding that all jews be sent to Auschwitz for gassing?

  95. Smut Clyde said,

    August 21, 2008 at 22:49

    fadgeophile said,
    And for the record, I have had every comment for at least two weeks sent to moderation.

    Your comments have merely been detained on Devil’s Island until their immigration status is clarified. Rather than complaining about it, your comments should be grateful for the luxurious conditions there.

  96. Tom65 said,

    August 21, 2008 at 22:58

    Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, Debbie.

  97. Jeff said,

    August 21, 2008 at 23:05

    Another factor is that Cejudo is the result of a change in how US wrestlers train. He did not come out of the college ranks but went to the US Olympic training center out of high school and therefore represents the future of the sport for the US.

  98. actor212 said,

    August 21, 2008 at 23:09

    Your comments have merely been detained on Devil’s Island until their immigration status is clarified. Rather than complaining about it, your comments should be grateful for the luxurious conditions there.

    however, the legally born son of those comments has won a gold medal at Beijing.

  99. Cormac McCarthy said,

    August 21, 2008 at 23:16

    I mean, I remember the first Olympics I watched was 1992. The US Boxing Team was supposed to be pretty good but got their ass ripped except for one boxer. His name? Oscar De La Hoya. He became a huge star if I remember. The US Boxing Team has gotten crushed (by Cuba no less) every year since. So no-one cares about the gold medal in boxing anymore.

    This is true. And the cuban program turns out the most skilled, disciplined boxers ever. Rather than training ‘punchers’ who can minimally defend themselves but can take repeated blows to the head without suffering unduly while waiting for a chance to land a single, poorly targeted but devastating haymaker, the cubans train highly skilled, quick BOXERS who are developing the skills required to win in the SPORT rather than kill someone in a barfight.

    Also, the way the game of international amateur boxing has evolved, it is almost unwatchable anymore. The scoring is so inconsistent, power punches have no value and poor skills do not by themselves cost a boxer any advantage.

    This year it is nothing short of absurd…

    mikey

  100. mikey said,

    August 21, 2008 at 23:17

    Ooopppss.

    That was me.

    Cormac’s passed out drunk in one of John McCain’s studies….

    mikey

  101. J Neo Marvin said,

    August 21, 2008 at 23:22

    But what about the equestrian boxing?

  102. Athenawise said,

    August 21, 2008 at 23:24

    ANCHOR BABY: 1. Perjorative describing a child who drags America down economically. See also Malkin, n. 2. Oversized woman who looks pregnant but isn’t. See also Schlussel, n.

  103. Smut Clyde said,

    August 21, 2008 at 23:47

    But what about the equestrian boxing?
    I am boycotting Olympic coverage until underwater dressage becomes a sport.

  104. Dr. Melissa Debbie ShitMoathier said,

    August 22, 2008 at 0:00

    If we get rid of being born here as the sole requirement for citizenship, what do we use to determine status? A test? A game show?

    No, phrenology. That’s what the first Nazis used.

  105. J Neo Marvin said,

    August 22, 2008 at 0:03

    But what about the equestrian boxing?
    I am boycotting Olympic coverage until underwater dressage becomes a sport.

    They’re still working out the logistics of breeding the giant seahorses.

  106. Larry Craig said,

    August 22, 2008 at 0:29

    Hey, now. The way Debbie goes on & on & on & on & on about beautiful women, and the way Debbie goes on & on & on & on & on about atheletic women definately means SHE IS NOT GAY!
    Take it from me. I know what is not gay!

    *******************************************
    Larry’s double from bizzaro world:
    Debbie is hiding deeeep in the closet.

  107. J— said,

    August 22, 2008 at 0:30

    Speaking of boycotts, after I saw Shawn Johnson wearing peace symbol earrings for her studio interview with Bob Costas, I looked around to see if there were any blog reactions. This one was one of the earliest and has got to be my favorite:

    Now, I recall what a big disappointment it was for many athletes when we boycotted the Olympics in 1980. So many had trained so hard, and Carter said “no”. And there were calls to boycott the Games in Peking this year. A lot of people said, “don’t politicize the Olympics”, and “it’s not fair to the athletes…just let them compete”.

    We can’t have it both ways. If this 16-year-old is going to pull this crap, then we should have boycotted the games. The real pity here is that she’s being manipulated by her parents and/or her coach.

    We DAMN sure shouldn’t go to ANY Olympics in Russia. Let’s announce it now, so that those who may want to train won’t be surprised.

    It’s like the Bush Doctrine of Preemption applied as widely and loosely as possible.

  108. N__B said,

    August 22, 2008 at 0:34

    Really? Because I thought you just poured the dehydrated giant seahorses into a glass of salt water and watched them inflate and breed.

  109. J Neo Marvin said,

    August 22, 2008 at 0:46

    The real pity here is that she’s being manipulated by her parents and/or her coach.

    Because a 16-year-old cannot possibly have any opinions of her own.

  110. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2008 at 1:15

    you just poured the dehydrated giant seahorses into a glass of salt water
    The use of dehydrated giant seahorse as an aphrodisiac in traditional Chinese medicine has driven up the price out of the reach of many underwater equestrian teams.

  111. N__B said,

    August 22, 2008 at 1:21

    The use of dehydrated giant seahorse as an aphrodisiac in traditional Chinese medicine has driven up the price out of the reach of many underwater equestrian teams.

    This is the plot of “Equus,” no?

  112. MzNicky said,

    August 22, 2008 at 1:30

    Thank you J. Neo Marvin. I have very vivid memories of being 16 my own self, as well as having lived through that wondrous age with my own kids. If anything, a “normal” 16-year-old goes out of her or his way to do the exact opposite of what the parent would prefer.

  113. Statue of Liberty said,

    August 22, 2008 at 1:31

    ooops! When I said “”Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free…” I actually meant “Give us your Olympic gold medalists or Harvard-bound valedictorians… And Elian Gonzales”
    Sorry for the misunderstanding!

    Lady Liberty,
    a proud and totally legal French-American anchor-babe

  114. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2008 at 2:06

    This is the plot of “Equus,” no?
    If you are referring to the porn version, then I have nothing to say, except that I was young at the time and I needed the money.

  115. Candy said,

    August 22, 2008 at 2:24

    I’m pretty proud of Shawn and Lolo, my two home town women, although I still think it is absurd to feel “proud” just because someone from where I’m from achieved something. I thought I was pretty much immune to that particular kind of pride, but hearing Des Moines and West Des Moines on the big media outside of caucus time quite turned my head. The last time I was this pleased with a homie was when a certain masked friend made it big in teh music biz.

    I did go to high school in Ottumwa with Tom Arnold, but meh . . .

    In all seriousness, Shawn Johnson and Lolo Jones seem like the whole idea behind wonderful young women. Good luck to both of them. And fuck Debbie Schlussel. Okay, don’t. Ewwww.

  116. N__B said,

    August 22, 2008 at 4:15

    There’s a porn version of Equus? I’ve only seen the Disney and Pixar re-imaginings.

  117. Brandi said,

    August 22, 2008 at 4:17

    You win “certified” citizenship if you lose the debate with the youngster.

    Examination Day?

  118. Dr. Melissa Debbie ShitMoathier said,

    August 22, 2008 at 4:25

    Because a 16-year-old cannot possibly have any opinions of her own.

    As witnessed by, oh, say, Ava Lowery…

  119. freelancer said,

    August 22, 2008 at 6:59

    Is this the part where we cue up the song “Proud To Be an American”?

    “That song is straight homosexual, country music, special olympic gay.”

  120. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2008 at 7:44

    There’s a porn version of Equus? I’ve only seen the Disney and Pixar re-imaginings.
    You may have come across it under its alternative title of “Not in the Eyes, Please”.

  121. Smut Clyde said,

    August 22, 2008 at 7:46

    Turns out that WP does not like comments if they contain the words “porn” and “eyes”. Who’d have thought?

  122. Kilo said,

    August 22, 2008 at 16:24

    “It was absolutely irrelevant that the young and photogenic Cejudo … was … the youngest American to ever win Olympic Gold in wrestling.”

    Correct.

  123. fardels bear said,

    August 22, 2008 at 17:08

    No one cares about Olympic Gold Medals in wrestling!?!? May Chris Taylor arise from his grave and squash Debbie like the insect she is!

    http://www.wrestlingmuseum.org/people/taylor_chris.html

Leave a Comment

  • Things of Interest

  • Meta Goodness

  • Clunkers

  • httpbl_stats()