Nov
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And by the way…
The management is delighted to introduce a new feature in honor of Thanksgiving* called “and by the way…” (ABTW.) ABTW will feature a particularly insightful bit of wisdom from a random wingnut. It resembles the shorter concept without requiring us to credit busy, busy, busy or Daniel Davies, while also bearing striking resemblance to “Who said it?” without forcing us to pay royalties to World O’Crap.
The formalities being out of the way, we bring you this week’s ABTW featuring Bucktowndusty:
And by the way, God doesn’t want naturalized citizens to be elected to the White House.
* Actually, we just wrote that because Thanksgiving is coming up. Truth is, we don’t really give a crap.
Miss Authoritiva said,
November 25, 2004 at 1:19
In addition to praising the oraculous Founding Fathers in divining God’s domestic policy intentions, Bucktownindustry also manages to weave together mind-jarring observations on the citizenship status of the original colonists, animal husbandry, and the symmetric paradigm of desire.
After all, British foreigners dominated colonial affairs.
Pure-bread [sic] animals sell at a premium over mixed-breeds.
The temptation of desiring anything enamors both groups.
God ordained: America shall have only pure-bread presidents. Preferably pure white-bread presidents. And,by God, that’s what we’ve had.
big nickel said,
November 25, 2004 at 1:33
If that piece had been meant as humour, it would have been hilarious. Apparently, though, the author meant it as serious commentary. That’s just sad…
Mojo said,
November 25, 2004 at 6:10
I was extremely frightened when I read “So a naturalized citizen can’t be president - HIS OR HER CHILDREN CAN!” But then I remembered that Michelle Malkin wasn’t born in the US so we’re safe. Whew!
Sadly, No! said,
November 25, 2004 at 8:32
“But then I remembered that Michelle Malkin wasn’t born in the US so we’re safe.”
Oh no you’re not!
Anonymous said,
November 25, 2004 at 13:12
I thought you were one of those Candian heathens? In which case Thanksgiving was a long time ago and you didn’t have anyhting to celebrate that!
buddhist with an attitude said,
November 25, 2004 at 15:53
We were grateful we’re not the US.
MobiusKlein said,
November 25, 2004 at 17:14
By Bucktownindustry’s logic, where the Founding Fathers are sooo much better than us modern day losers, women and blacks (with two g’s) would not be voting.
Constituional amendments? What place do us peons have even thinking about that? Do we really think it’s OUR country?
s.z. said,
November 26, 2004 at 7:36
While Michelle Malkin was born here, she may have been conceived in the Philippines (she was born the same year her parents arrived here, but I’m not sure exactly how many months later). So, I think we should amend the Constitution to prohibit non-native sperm and ova citizens from holding our highest office — you know, just in case.
bucktowndusty@hotmail.com said,
November 27, 2004 at 2:52
Am I serious? Am I joking? I leave that up to the reader. I do, however, love Scrappleface and The Onion. I can write in a fashion certain people emotionally react to like puppets on a string.
The power of words is a funny thing to watch unfold. Thanks for the web traffic and the laughs.
jay hova said,
November 28, 2004 at 3:22
i didn’t write the constitution. i left that up to your humans. y’all did a pretty good job of it, i’ll give ya that.
the grand canyon? that was my work.
The Dark Avenger said,
November 28, 2004 at 5:00
I like what you did with the fjoirds.
Phoenician in a time of Romans said,
November 29, 2004 at 22:18
You know, another thing - I did a search of the Bible, and it seems God didn’t mention America at all. You think he would have stuck SOMETHING in the book if the US of A was to be His Chosen People…
ahem said,
December 6, 2004 at 7:45
I want to know where I can get a pure-bread animal. Is it like a gingerbread man?