Aug
17

Shit Moat Destroya




Posted at 19:14 by D. Aristophanes

We’ve learned much from Amy Alkon these past few days that is startling, perverse and downright hi-larious — starting with the notion that poor black women who get shot and killed by the cops value black lives less than white cops who shoot and kill poor black women, and working our way through to the revelation that the individual known as the Sadly, No! commentariat-slash-management-slash-Gary Ruppert pre-emptively hacks the Wikipedia pages of wingnuts before being aware of their existence.

All wonderful stuff, and now this (scroll down to Amy’s comment at 6:46 AM):

I have a friend in Beverly Hills, probably one of three Republicans, who had her Vote Bush signs stolen repeatedly in the last election. I did not vote for Bush; I voted for that sleazebag Kerry, but I am shocked by any effort to silence speech, and in the current election, I’m going to help her catch the people who will surely steal her McCain signs. P.S. She’s no dope. She has a dog with a head the size of Lucy, which puts out a rather large quantity of excrement every day. In the past, she watered it down in a bucket and made a rather large moat around the sign. So … if they got away with their signs, there was still the bill for new car carpeting, I suppose, and I just love that.

A dope? Perish the thought! Building a moat of runny dog shit on your own property? Not. Dopey. At. All. In fact, the smart set are all doing it. Shit moats are the new kitchen remodels after all, as evidenced by these real estate ads we just came across on Craigslist:

$1250000 OPEN SUN 1-4 NEW BEACH HOUSE (santa cruz) (map)

Reply to: xxxxx@xxx.com
Date: 2008-08-17, 9:27AM PDT

New 3 BdRm, 2.5 Ba, 1650 sq ft just 2.5 blocks from Twin Lakes Beach and Crow’s Nest area. Quality built for owner’s personal use. Travertina stone floors, slab granite counters, maple cabinets and landscaped front & rear w/enormous moat of dog shit surrounding property. Turnkey and summer rental zone!

XXXXXX XXXXXX Realtor 831-XXX-XXXX; 831-XXX-XXXX

$284000 JUST REDUCED BY $100,000! WOW!! (danville / san ramon)

Would you like to see this totally upgraded Canyon Crest beauty behind the gates with your own Security Guard?

Recently Installed upgrades include:

Maple Cabinets
Granite Countertops
Stainless Steel Appliances
Natural Stone flooring
Terra Cotta Shit Moat
Two-tone Designer Paint
Crown Molding

If yes call XXXXXX for information @ (925) XXX-XXXX.

DRAMATIC COASTAL ESTATE (aptos)

Villa Rosa
Aptos Hills California

Villa Rosa is an Awe Inspiring Coastal Estate Perched on an 8-Acre Oak Studded Bay View Knoll just Minutes to Seascape Beach. Spacious 4850 square foot, 4 Bedroom, 3.5 Bath, and 3 Car Custom Estate with Elegant Shit Moat for Formal Living, Family & Dining rooms. Built on 110 Concrete Caissons, the product of Cove Britton, renowned Local Architect of Britton & Matson Architects. It’s Proximity to the Coast, Architectural Majesty, Neighborhood Consistency, Prime Private Access, Bay Views and Useable Acreage is an Unparalleled Combo in Santa Cruz.

The French Normandy Estate incorporates Traditional Style & Materials with Modern Luxury & Conveniences. Extensive Exterior attention to details featuring Stone Columns, Architectural Appliques, Trims and Crowns lead to an Elegant Simplistic Interior use of Space, Views and Environment. The home features Massive Rooms with Vaulted 18′ Ceilings & Bayviews, Three Fireplaces, Two Air Conditioning Systems, Two Vacuum Systems, Two Heating Systems, Two Circulating Instant Water Heaters, and Stereo Speakers throughout.

Enter through Dual 8′ Custom Maghony Wood Doors with Beveled Glass Panes into the Centralized Entry with Massive Vaulted Ceilings. Gaze upon the Private Courtyard through Custom Wood Windows. Step down the Curved Custom Staircase leading to the Formal Dining and Living Rooms each with 18′ Vaulted Ceiling and Full Bay Views. Lower level has Kitchen, Dining, and Family Rooms with Oak Hardwood Floors and Bay Views.

The living spaces are separated for Entertaining and Adult Privacy with the Upper Level Master Suite, Cherry Wood Office with Green Marble Fireplace and a separate Guest Suite at one end of the residence. The Master Suite features His/Hers separate Bath Prep Areas, Private Latrine with Bidet, a Sumptuous Dual Soaking Tub with Jacuzzi Jets, and Walk-in Closet. All surfaces are Ralph Loren Green Marble & Solid Brass Fixtures.

The Children’s Bedrooms and Bath are located above the Kitchen, Family & Breakfast areas at the other end. The Kitchen has white painted cabinet with granite countertops, large Dual Islands, Dual Ovens, Multi- Burner Gas Cooktop, and Stainless Appliances. All rooms have Full Bay & Mountain Views. The Entry and Family Rooms also have Serene Private Courtyard Views.

Traditional Shit Moat in the Tuscany Style was installed in 2006 by regionally Renowned landscapers Bilge & Sons. Pungent blend of Eight Varieties of finest organic Canine Excrement replenished yearly through Existing Contract with local Small Kennel Owners Association. Two-car-wide maple/wrought iron Drawbridge lowers by imported Swiss Hand Winch to Access Road; alternatively, four sets of Rubber Waders kept in Small Rustic Shed maintained near Back of Property abutting encroaching stand of Coastal Redwoods.

At 600′ Elevation & Two miles from Seascape Beach this Aptos Hills 8-Acre Parcel is Thee Prime Parcel and one of 4 parcels in an exclusive 5 to 24 acre lot Private Subdivision. The South Facing Orientation features all day Sunrise to Sunset Orientation, Views of the Monterey Bay and across to the Monterey Peninsula and Mountains. The weather is warm and the nearby mountains protect this parcel from most Coastal wind. The Courtyard is northeast facing, cooler and breathlessly protected from evening breezes. The lower flat 3+-Acre Meadow is open to many uses and easily cleared.
Underground Utilities, Private shared Well & Full PGE Services enhance the Refined Nature of this Estate. Private Road is maintained by long-term cell tower income from the undeveloped 24-acre parcel. Minutes to Seascape Beach & Regional Shopping Centers North or South.

Construction took the original owner three years to complete and in 1999 sold for $1,265,000. The new owner then spent $250,000 completing & developing a French drainage system, developed the Courtyard with Upper & Lower Brick Patios, extensive Landscaping & Irrigation. In addition to the 8-Acre Parcel, a 1/4 interest in an additional 20-Acre Common Area is included. The acreage is all zoned 2.5-Acre minimums for potentially creative additional development possibilities.

Owner Agent will Finance to Qualified Buyer with Substantial Cash Down Payment. Will Trade for Local or Incline Village Property. New carpet and paint to taste.

One of the Finest Coastal Estate Properties in Santa Cruz County.

Price Upon Request

Call XXXXXX XXXXXXX Owner/Realtor 831-XXX-XXXX; 831-XXX-XXXX; 831-XXX-XXXX for info

458 Comments »

  1. Amy's Source said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:18

    The fact is, you liberals are supposed to be a fan of compost heaps. Hypocrites. You’re the true racists.

  2. rkrider said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:21

    why do you keep picking on that poor guy?

  3. Susan of Texas said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:26

    Amy has the Two Minute Hate down pat. She mainlines rightous indignation like it’s cocaine.

    When I was a kid we used to say that some people have their pony tail pulled too tight. That’s Amy.

  4. rotten mcdonald said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:27

    Could there BE a funnier symbiosis than Amy Alkon and Sadly, No?

    Sadly, No!

    Other than combining MOAT and SHIT, of course….

  5. Gary Ruppert's friend™³²®© said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:29

    The fact is, shit moats are not elitist. People who make fun of shit moats are.

    And don’t get me started on ‘Gay Ted’ communities.

  6. J— said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:31

    See the Second Defenestration of Prague. Catholics thrown from the window of Prague Castle and into the moat survived the plunge because they landed on horse poop.

  7. Susan of Texas said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:31

    Shit moats are too elitist. The privies in castles sometimes dumped into the moat. So they were, indeed, elite shit moats. In fact they were sometimes even royal shits.

  8. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:39

    It’s a good thing she’s got a Korean assistant – otherwise she’d be out of ammo but good.

  9. Scott said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:40

    Why do Republicans insist on lying when they’re so fucking awful at it?

  10. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:41

    (oops, wrong thread)

  11. gbear said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:42

    So if this lady in Beverely Hills has a shit-moat around her MehCain sign, it’s more than likely she paid some gardeners to build it. I wonder what the gardeners though once they found out what was going to fill the moat? I wonder if they stir up the shit-mix for her or she has to do that on her own? What a sick sick fuck.

  12. christian h. said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:43

    OT: Why are the liebrul media ignoring the fact that B. Hussein Obama is personally responsible for the increase in murders in Chicago by repeatedly killing the City Comptroller???

    Also, if Chicagoans just could learn from people in Beverly Hills and install dog shit moats, they’d be safe.

  13. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:44

    Hmmm. I’m not sure how I missed this. As I maintain a multi-layered defensive perimeter at all times, it saddens me that I’ve wasted years on mines, mantraps and area denial weaponry. When all I needed was a dogshit moat.

    Hand me my shovel and get me the number for a doberman rental agency. I’ll be entirely secure behind a shallow, festering open sewer in no time.

    And finally, a decent quality of life shall be mine!

    mikey

  14. owlbear1 said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:44

    “[Her Dog] puts out a rather large quantity of excrement every day. In the past, she watered it down in a bucket and made a rather large moat around the [Vote for Bush] sign.”

    That is the MOST representative symbol of the Bush Administration and its sycophants I have ever seen.

  15. rkrider said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:46

    ‘tiny-dicked thugs’ with heads filled with lettuce.

    I’m learning a lot from Mr.Al-Anon

  16. Susan of Texas said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:47

    A new compaign slogan: McCain: He’s surrounded by Crap

  17. christian h. said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:52

    Did anyone mention lately that WordPress has erected a shit-moat around the comments?

  18. rotten mcdonald said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:53

    The Chicago Comptroller would live longer if he built a shit moat around himself….

  19. Iris Puma said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:55

    Feels good to be banned. Here is what did it:

    I gave the example yesterday of my Korean ex-assistant, a first-generation American, who grew up poor, sent herself to Santa Monica College and earned a scholarship for grad school at Northwestern. There would be an enormous level of shame in for a Korean girl who lived as Wilson did, and this, I believe, is an innoculating force against behavior like Wilson’s.

    Oldest Profession’s Newest Home; Korean Prostitutes Doing Desperate Business in Suburbs

  20. Amy Alkon's Penis said,

    August 17, 2008 at 19:58

    My new band? Amy and the Shit Moat. We totally rock.

  21. Amy Alkon's Penis said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:01

    I am pleased to announce that the original Wiki-Tranny thread has been re-opened for comments, provided you are not a tiny turd who has been banned and you can conduct yourself in an appropriately sycophantic manner.

  22. JAR said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:06

    Here’s a photo taken by the neighbor:
    http://heylookhear.com/UserImage/lawn1

  23. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:09

    So … if they got away with their signs, there was still the bill for new car carpeting, I suppose, and I just love that.

    Yeah. Because there’s no chance that the wascally wadicals smelled the protective perimeter of dooky and used an unwound coat hanger to hook the sign not that I’ve ever given such activities any thought.

    Seriously I haven’t. Sign stealing is infantile and unimaginative. It is much better to LEAVE a sign of one’s own creation. Something that informs passersby that the home-owner is into goat sex is always nice.

  24. pedestrian said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:11

    I’m a moderate who voted for that fat whiney shithead Al Gore and not our sage and fearless Commander, so you can trust me when I tell you that liberals sucked the blood out of my conservative friend’s baby and had sex with it. From now on she is keeping garlic up her kid’s asses and SO SHOULD YOU. Liberal retards

  25. Righteous Thugga said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:15

    I use a shit moat to keep the kids out of the cookie jar. When the kids smell all that stinky shit they just know there’s a batch of fresh fudge brownies waiting.

  26. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:21

    She has a dog with a head the size of Lucy, which puts out a rather large quantity of excrement every day. In the past, she watered it down in a bucket and made a rather large moat around the sign

    I’m sorry, but this story doesn’t pass the smell test. Allow me to elucidate, my tiny, impotent thugly friends:

    1 – A moat that would hold off an average sized adult or teen would have to be some 4 feet wide, at least. She’s saying this woman put a 4′ wide trench in her yard? In Beverly Hills? What was the diameter of this moat, anyway?

    1a – How deep was this moat? I’d think it would have to be a good 6″ deep to be even remotely effective as a deterrent. Again, a 4′ wide, 6″ deep (or deeper) trench full of dog shit, in a Beverly Hills yard? I don’t think so.

    2 – ‘Watered dog turds down in a bucket’? Dog turds get hard after a while and, I think, you’d be hard pressed to “water them down” to any kind of effective slurry. Or maybe it was just a trench full of floating dog turds, which is not all that scary, frankly. The other possibility is that her friend was picking up fresh dog turds, which I find rather doubtful for a Beverly Hills Republican, and creating a fresh batch of dog shit stew to fill her moat with.

    3 – Given the dimensions I proposed in points 1 & 1a, how much time and dog turd slurry would it take to fill a moat of such size (or greater) to the point that it would provide an effective deterrent?

    I the the public has a right to demand accurate details to this apocryphal tale. Perhaps some unretouched photographic evidence would help to dispel the mysterious and spurious nature of this anecdote.

  27. pedestrian said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:24

    I’m sorry, but this story doesn’t pass the smell test

    I will take your word for it. Say, are shit moats flammable?

  28. Simba B said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:24

    It’s pretty clear to me that she is a pathological liar. I mean, between claiming to know Gary Ruppert, or a friend thereof, and this dogshit moat story….I mean, chreebus.

  29. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:25

    And shit moats aren’t just aesthetically pleasing security installations. The energy savings gained from a well-appointed trench of liquified dog poop are quite attractive as well — the decaying shit generates natural heat in the winter, while the multiple fans you will install to blow the smell and heat of decaying shit away from your house will cool you in the summer.

  30. Shit Moats For The Truth™³²®© said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:26

    I’d like to be the first to second Ripley’s suggestion.

  31. Dick Ed Thug said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:28

    What does my hight have to do with anything?

  32. I Am Amy Alkon's raging bile duct said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:28

    This whole fiasco has been one of the funniest things I’ve seen in any internet discussion since my days on Compuserve. Days, I say DAYS, of never ending amusement. Each time I think it can’t get funnier, she gets more defensive, crazier, and funnier.

    A moat of dog shit.

    And Amy thinks this is smart.

    HOLY FUCKING HAHAHAHA

    For all you folks who think she’s a conservative, she’s not, really – the reason that only the wackiest fucking Jonah Goldberg loving crackheads are willing to defend her is because even though she is fairly liberal in many regards (I mean really – how can an upper middle class white Jewish woman who got her start in Soho be anything BUT pro choice?) , she is a Grade-A Right Wing Authoritarian, and she gets along with them a lot better than she can with any actually compassionate, progressive left winger

  33. Blue Buddha said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:30

    If said dog shit moat has enough dog shit in it, any vandal could just easily drop a match in it and burn the sign while leaving a black crater in the lawn. I dunno, maybe they could also add some kerosene just to make sure.

  34. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:31

    BTW, a big steaming tip of the Shit Hat to gocart mozart and kiki in the thread two doors down for alerting us all to the comedy miracle that is the Amy Alkon-brand Shit Moat.

  35. Gocart Mozart said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:34

    See the dog has a shit-spewing Lucy head that it found somewhere in the neighborhood and this friend would borrow her dog’s shit-spewing Lucy head and use it to spread excrement around the McCain lawn sign. What part of that is so difficult to understand?

  36. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:38

    Also, if Chicagoans just could learn from people in Beverly Hills and install dog shit moats, they’d be safe.

    Why, this seems like just the ticket!

    Want to live at the pinnacle of one of the nation’s major metropolitan locations? Well to live luxuriously means to live at the top, among the highest heights, and living at Chicago 175 East Delaware Condominiums puts you at the top. Residents of this luxury Chicago condo facility share the upper portion of one of Downtown Chicago’s tallest buildings, the John Hancock center. Floors forty-four to ninety-two belong to luxury condo owners as part of the 175 E. Delaware Place Home Owners Association, located in the 100 story John Hancock building. Security has been updated this spring to include a fifteen foot wide state-of-the-art shit moat around the perimeter styled to recall the Chicago River circa 1900.

  37. Five of Diamonds said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:39

    terra cotta shit moat

    Hah! I’m giving that one an LOLz!

  38. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:40

    Security has been updated this spring to include a fifteen foot wide state-of-the-art shit moat around the perimeter styled to recall the Chicago River circa 1900.

    I think the Dave Matthews Band was involved in that project.

  39. Five of Diamonds said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:41

    A moat? Smart? A real genius would rig a dog shit trebuchet.

  40. zuzu's petals said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:42

    A McCain sign covered in flies.

    Gotta love it.

  41. mextremist said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:43

    fuck stealing the signs. salt the lawn. then you’d have a derelict, scarred, scorched piece of earth with a shit moat.

  42. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:44

    For all you folks who think she’s a conservative, she’s not, really – the reason that only the wackiest fucking Jonah Goldberg loving crackheads are willing to defend her is because even though she is fairly liberal in many regards (I mean really – how can an upper middle class white Jewish woman who got her start in Soho be anything BUT pro choice?) , she is a Grade-A Right Wing Authoritarian, and she gets along with them a lot better than she can with any actually compassionate, progressive left winger

    In short, Amy really is a Liberal Fascist.

  43. Righteous Thugga said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:44

    Shit, exciting and new
    Pour it in. We’re expecting you.
    Shit, theft’s meetest reward.
    Let it flow, it flows on to you.

    The Shit Moat soon will be drenching another shoe
    The Shit Moat promises vengeance in waiting poo

  44. Mr. Wonderful said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:45

    Lucy who? The Peanuts Lucy? Lucy the elephant motel in New Jersey? Lucille Ball? Lucy the jillion-year-old human fossil?

    And what does the size of the dog’s head have to do with oh never mind. Nice real estate ads.

  45. Righteous Thugga said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:48

    And what does the size of the dog’s head have to do with oh never mind.

    It’s one of those poop-eating dogs.

  46. Blue Buddha said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:54

    Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:38

    Security has been updated this spring to include a fifteen foot wide state-of-the-art shit moat around the perimeter styled to recall the Chicago River circa 1900.

    Luxury condos in Cleveland have shit moats styled to recall the Cuyahoga River circa 1960 (WARNING: very flammable!).

  47. I Am Amy Alkon's raging bile duct said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:55

    It’s one of those poop-eating dogs.

    Is there any other kind?

  48. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:55

    I should explain the Dave Matthews reference, for those who weren’t living there at the time.

  49. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:56

    http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0825042_dave_matthews_1.html

    WordPress subcontracts KBR to build its shit moats!

  50. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:57

    Wait, so it’s not just a Dog Shit Moat … it’s a Regurgitated Dog Shit Moat, you’re saying?

    Holy, um, shit.

  51. I Am Amy Alkon's raging bile duct said,

    August 17, 2008 at 20:59

    Slightly off topic, but funny:

    The first result for a GIS search on “Shit moat” is a picture of mega-douche “Mystery”, the pick up artist.

  52. Fats Durston said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:02

    I gave the example yesterday of my Korean ex-assistant, a first-generation American, who grew up poor, sent herself to Santa Monica College and earned a scholarship for grad school at Northwestern. There would be an enormous level of shame in for a Korean girl who lived as Wilson did, and this, I believe, is an innoculating force against behavior like Wilson’s.

    And what’s really cool about Korean social mores (at least in Seoul) is that they demand most women get plastic surgery! At least those trannies stay lookin’ young ‘n’ fresh.

    I’m sorry, but this story doesn’t pass the smell test. Allow me to elucidate, my tiny, impotent thugly friends:

    Nice try, Ripley, with your wading in and whatnot, but I think we need to put a real expert on the case: Bob Owens. I mean, he really got on top of that new story about murderers in Beauchamp’s company, right?

  53. Busta Rhymes said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:02

    Shitmoat Squad, reprazent!

  54. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:02

    Luxury condos in Cleveland have shit moats styled to recall the Cuyahoga River circa 1960 (WARNING: very flammable!).

    That adds an excellent new means of defense against European Horde incursions. Ms. Alkon should look into it.

  55. Dagoril said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:04

    Amy darlin’, I’m pretty sure you’ve had so many face lifts at this point that your brain has been repositioned way too far to aft.

    Be like a normal Beverly Hills Republican. Have your valet drive you over to the nearest Home Depot, and hire some illegal Messicans to sit on the lawn, impersonating garden gnomes. Then when those dastardly scalawag liberals attempt to steal your wrinkly white guy yard signs, the erstwhile garden gnomes can simply leap upon them, and club them to death with their maracas.

    Then, at the end of the day, you give them a dollar, and bitch at them for leaving their impoverished nation and taking our jerbs.

  56. Snorghagen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:05

    Shit moats are way overrated. For real security, cover your property in at least ten feet of well-formed feces and dig yourself a shit-burrow. You’ll never worry about break-ins again, except from copraphilic prairie dogs.

    Another crime-stoppers tip: deter pickpockets by stuffing turds in your wallet.

  57. The Truth said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:06

    Sadly,No! is losing a flame war to Amy Alkon.

    The mind boggles.

  58. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:07

    Yeah, Truth, but we’re winning where it (fecal) matters!

    Git it? Git it?

  59. Righteous Thugga said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:08

    Another crime-stoppers tip: deter pickpockets by stuffing turds in your wallet.

    I had a crazy aunt who had a magic hat. She stuffed a whole bunch of whatever she found on the roadside into it and people would leave her alone. Magic.

  60. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:08

    Shit moats are way overrated. For real security, cover your property in at least ten feet of well-formed feces and dig yourself a shit-burrow. You’ll never worry about break-ins again, except from copraphilic prairie dogs.

    Another crime-stoppers tip: deter pickpockets by stuffing turds in your wallet.

    Snorghagen, that is some funny shit!

  61. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:10

    I wonder if it’s possible for Sadly Nosians to get enough poop jokes. I guess we’re gonna find out.

  62. Fozzetti said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:11

    Beverly Hills Shit Moat! She must be popular with her neighbors.

  63. Well Hung Thug said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:19

    Amy may want to consider a shit moat around her blog to keep us thugs out. There is surely enough mental excrement spewing forth at her site to build the mother of all moats.

  64. Award Winning Bumper Sticker said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:20

    As Me About My ShitMoat

  65. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:20

    Fucking WordPress….

  66. Amy "Col. Kurtz" Alkon said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:21

    I LOVE the smell of dog shit in the morning.

    It smells like… Victory!!

  67. Doctorb said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:22

    “Terra Cotta Shit Moat” made me laugh. Out. Loud. Also I just noticed that I’m unbanned from Ask Redhead Mary Worth, so … there’s that.

  68. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:25

    Check this shit out!

    Pro-Fatherhood Columnist Under Siege:

    My friend Amy Alkon, a syndicated advice columnist who is sympathetic to fathers, is being attacked on her blog by partisans of the popular left-wing blog Sadly No!. Sadly No! has posted several nasty things about Amy and apparently has been sending people over to disrupt her blog.

    Glen Sacks. FFS.

  69. Doctorb said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:25

    http://thaumaturgicramblings.blogspot.com/2007_08_01_archive.html

  70. Doctorb said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:28

    Wow, what’s really weird is that my last comments were:

    a) you’re deleting comments
    b) you’re deleting comments
    c) oh, wait, I see you’re not deleting comments; my mistake.

    And then they were … deleted.

  71. David Robinson said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:29

    A McCain ’08 sign in the middle of a pool of watery shit seems entirely appropriate.

  72. Roger Ailes said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:29

    What’s the phone number of that Danville/San Ramon house in Canyon Crest?

    I’d ask them to knock off $20K for the shit moat, but the place sounds like it has possibilities.

    The others are way too rich for my shit.

  73. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:34

    Dennis: Listen, strange women lyin’ in shit moats distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical shit moat ceremony!

    Arthur: Be quiet!

    Dennis: Oh but you can’t expect to wield supreme executive power just because some shitty tart threw a sword at you!

    Arthur: SHUT UP!

    Dennis: Oh but if I went ’round sayin’ I was Emperor, just because some moistened bink lobbed a scimitar at me, they’d put me away!

    Arthur: SHUT UP! WILL YOU SHUT UP!

  74. Righteous Thugga said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:34

    Amy Alkon, a syndicated advice columnist who is sympathetic to fathers

    Good lord what a radical position! Unless it’s some kind of euphemism.

  75. Righteous Thugga said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:35

    Bint!

    http://www.google.com/search?q=define%3Abint&ie=UTF-8

  76. Amy "Col. Kurtz" Alkon said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:35

    …who is sympathetic to fathers…

    I haven’t read either of their crap, but for some reason this sounds like a dogwhistle to deadbeats and stingy, self involved assholes that want to get out of a divorce with all the marbles in THEIR bag.

    I wonder how this “sympathy” aligns with amy’s vicious stereotypical assumptions about all those “drug dealer” fathers of the new orphans….

    mikey

  77. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:36

    I agree with the Colonel…

    mikey

  78. Award Winning Bumper Sticker said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:37

    Ask Me About My Shit Moat

    I Survived the Beverly Hills Shit Moat

  79. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:37

    Amy is posting on Glenn Sacks comments now, scurrilously lying about the horrid attacks she is suffering, 3000 word posts and weird characters, blah blah blah.

  80. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:39

    Candy Says:

    August 17th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
    Amy Alkon is deleting comments on her site which are not inflammatory but simply in disagreement with her point of view. At Sadly,No! this is never done. I suggest that any Alkon supporter who wants to have a debate and defend Ms. Alkon’s positions should come over to Sadl,No with the absolute assurance that no one there will delete their comments, nor will they publish private information. Ever. At all.

    We have ethics.

    Additionally: Mr. Sacks, just because you’re pro-fatherhood doesn’t mean you have to be anti-motherhood, does it? Jeez, I’ve never seen such woman-hating outside of the drooling of Carey Roberts.

    I wrote this before I saw Amy’s comment, but I’m glad it posted after hers.

  81. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:39

    Since WP has gone full throttle “Fuck You!”, here’s a comment you could have laughed at:

    Award Winning Bumper Sticker said:

    Ask Me About My Shit Moat

    I’ve never had problems with WP here until today.

  82. tbogg said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:39

    Apropos to the picture on Amy in the previous post, but Lionel Ritchie called and he want his jawbone back…

  83. aw said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:47

    Glen Sacks is too easily fooled by tricky women.

    If he had read “Venus: The Dark Side”, he wouldn’t be such an easy target for Amy’s lies.

  84. SamFromUtah said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:56

    You know, if Teh Libruls have caused you to keep a big poo-filled trench in your ritzy-ass house’s front yard, I think Teh Libruls have won.

    it’s a Regurgitated Dog Shit Moat, you’re saying?

    My wife and I have coined the term vomiteces for that substance. We have a dog who indulges occasionally. We try to prevent it, but as recycling-happy DFHs have to applaud a dog who is able to eat the same meal three times.

  85. anon said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:00

    I haven’t read either of their crap, but for some reason this sounds like a dogwhistle to deadbeats and stingy, self involved assholes that want to get out of a divorce with all the marbles in THEIR bag.

    mikey

    Mikey, since you haven’t read either of them, what the fuck is your comment to say except that you’re an ignorant jackass that finds it easier to jump to conclusions than to read?

    You should read them both, but you’re probably scared that you might find something to agree with.

  86. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:00

    We try to prevent it, but as recycling-happy DFHs have to applaud a dog who is able to eat the same meal three times.

    Ah, the Nigerian Short-Haired Composter. Fierce, loyal and semi-sanitary…

  87. Urban Meyer said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:08

    What do all those Democrats have in common? They’re infected with Savioritis Pestis, a generally harmless disorder which explodes into a global pandemic when it is caught by ambitious pols. For some reasons Republicans never catch this disease, possibly because they would be laughed out of town before the sun goes down. But when Nancy Pelosi was asked the other week why she shut down any House debate on oil drilling, her Frisco airhead answer just came out, “I’m just trying to Save the Planet.” Don’t bother me with grubby facts, I’m busy being Jesus. And nobody in the mainstream media even snickered.

    Al Gore is now hailed around the world for the global warming fraud, working hard to forge a really big ball and chain to drag down the American economy. Jimmy Carter is currying favor with terrorists and their thug sponsors, and telling us just to get over 9/11, for goodness’ sake; it’s not like it was Pearl Harbor or anything. John Kerry has never gotten over his personal JFK Complex, though Kennedy was a real war hero, while Kerry is a proven fraud.

    And then there is Senator O and his Lady Michelle, who have so little control over their blown-up egos that they have already lost the polling bump that comes with a solid media slobber from the Left.

    Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad, said the sly old Greeks. The madness they were thinking of was hubris, of course, “overweening pride,” which was destined to bring forth the divine revenge of Nemesis. The Greeks believed in hubris and Nemesis because they saw a lot of egomania in their world.

    American politicians are trying to catch up with the ancients. The Democrats are infested with hubris like lice on a mangy dog. It’s not just one swelled-head politician; it’s a whole parade of them.

  88. N.C. said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:08

    I’ve read it and I agree that it’s a dogwhistle to deadbeats and stingy, self-involved assholes that want to get out of a divorce with all the marbles in their bag.

    ~BoOyAh~

  89. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:09

    *sniff* I recall last summer, when Mrs. Aristophanes and I discovered that the Hemstead-Taylors down the road had built their Shit Moat after the typically noveau riche fashion, with faeces that was merely expelled from one end of the supplying canine. I promised Mrs. Aristophanes that our Shit Moat would never see anything less than twice-digested offal brought to maturity in the bowels and tracheae of the finest hounds and terriers. I mean, really!

  90. Righteous Thugga said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:10

    The Democrats are infested with hubris like lice on a mangy dog.

    I thought this part was gonna have shit-moat-related content but no.

  91. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:12

    My work here is done.

  92. christian h. said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:13

    Well, Mr. anon (if that’s even your real name), if someone uses terms like “sympathetic to fathers” it raises all kinds of red flags – pretty much similar to someone claiming they are “sympathetic to white people”, there’s no need to read on…

  93. JF Sebastian said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:14

    I’m going to help her catch the people who will surely steal her McCain signs.

    Again with the detective work. Amy Alkon is like a trannie Angela Lansbury.

    Angela Transbury?

    Angela Transbury in Shit Moat She Wrote.

  94. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:14

    American politicians are trying to catch up with the ancients.

    (psst – I think at least one of them has succeeded)

  95. Snorghagen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:22

    Urban Meyer –

    That’s all very thought-provoking, but where do you stand on dog feces?

  96. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:22

    “Ignorant Jackass”??!!

    Ignorant Jackass indeed.

    Young man, I’ll have you know I’m white.

    Hah. Changed your tune right away, didn’t I?

    mikey

  97. anon said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:23

    I’ve read it and I agree that it’s a dogwhistle to deadbeats and stingy, self-involved assholes that want to get out of a divorce with all the marbles in their bag.

    Pick a month, any month. Read one month that *you pick* of Glenn Sacks.

    That’s probably 60 to 100 posts so it should take you about two hours.

    Come back and discuss your findings. Is he sexist? Is he liberal? Is he rightwing? Is he fair? Does he acknowledge when people whose views he disagrees with are right? Does he have some interesting things to say, and if so, what are they? Has your view of what you call “deadbeats” changed? If so, how? And then, is Glenn Sacks actually writing for “people who want to get out of their divorce with all the marbles?” If not, who IS he writing for?

  98. JF Sebastian said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:24

    Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad, said the sly old Greeks. The madness they were thinking of was hubris, of course, “overweening pride,” which was destined to bring forth the divine revenge of Nemesis.

    Are you, perhaps, being portrayed by Jonathan Harris, Dr. Zachary Smith from Lost in Space?

  99. N.C. said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:25

    anon:

    Yes, no, yes, no, no, no, n/a, no, n/a, yes, n/a.

  100. anon said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:26

    “Well, Mr. anon (if that’s even your real name), if someone uses terms like “sympathetic to fathers” it raises all kinds of red flags – pretty much similar to someone claiming they are “sympathetic to white people”, there’s no need to read on…”

    anon IS my real name, which is a real problem with TSA.

    But Christian H, why don’t you take my challenge, read a month of Sacks that YOU pick, and decide if there is a case to be made for people who are “sympathetic to fathers.”

    Let me add one more question then. After you’ve read Sacks for a month, what do you think the number one issue that he cares most about is? And how would you characterize that?

  101. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:26

    Hey, you kids! Stay outa my shit-moat!

  102. N.C. said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:28

    The #1 issue he cares most about is maintaining male privilege. Nothing else.

  103. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:29

    Listen, anon. You’re making ME embarrassed. Your drooling Sacks – worship on a blog you’ve apparently never visited before means one of only two possible things.

    1. You ARE Glenn Sacks. And man, that’s just sad. Pathetically so.

    2. You have some kind of obsessive love for Glenn Sacks. In which case I suspect he’s terrified of you, has a restraining order in place, and has reinforced all his door and window locks and installed an alarm system.

    Either way, dood, you’re creeping me out.

    EEeewwww…

    mikey

  104. Caveat said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:31

    LMAO!!!

    Finally, a reason to link to you guys!

  105. J— said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:31

    The real Urban Meyer is busy getting ready for the game against Hawaii and does not have time to plagiarize the American Thinker.

  106. Urban Meyer said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:32

    So 2008 is the Year of the Obots. If you put my son-in-law behind one blank screen and a Sony Playstation 3 behind another one, you couldn’t tell the difference. Their heads are stuffed with New Age superstitions like a grungy old couch. They seem to be deathly afraid of honest ideas and hard facts. I can’t see any skepticism, any discussion, any open minds — just followers following other followers.

    I’m just trying to be kind, you understand.

    I’m happy to live and let live. If you want to kill off your brain cells be my guest. But it’s the Obots who may well tip the next election and along with it the fate of this country, at exactly the moment that the crazies in Pyongyang and Tehran are on the point of getting and maybe using their nukes. There’s a national nightmare for you.

    But I’m being judgmental. Please forgive. It won’t happen again.

    Take Jeremiah Wright, who’s been spreading the toxic rumor that the CIA has been infecting black people with AIDS. His church bulletin peddles the official Hamas smear that Israel is making biological weapons genetically engineered to kill blacks and Arabs and nobody else. Crack cocaine is a conspiracy to keep black folks down. Black-on-black crime is the fault of the Man, or invisible “institutional racism,” or 6,000 years of slavery starting with Ur of the Chaldeans.

    Now Barack and Michelle Obama are both bright, highly educated people, who’ve had all the breaks in life. But for twenty years they’ve sat in Rev. Wright’s pews, watching him spread toxic nonsense to liberal blacks and whites, soaking it all up and solemnly nodding Yes, Yes, Yes. This is the church whose new pastor teaches the world that blacks have leprosy, as far as whites are concerned. That’s a paranoid idea, designed to inculcate hatred and self-contempt, and the Obamas are much too slick not to know that. So they’re sitting by, week after week, watching sly poisons being spread to gullible people.

    Just what we need in the White House, right?

    Senator Obama is playing straight to the empty beer cans in his audiences. Who else believes his high-falutin’ jive talk? It’s the abuse of fools by knaves — Harvard and Princeton-educated knaves. That’s a disgrace to the Democratic Party, which long ago sold out to race and gender demagogues. Just look at the list, from Pelosi to Hillary and Bill, Kerry the Vietnam back-stabber, Algore the Prophet, Murtha, Reid, John Edwards, Jesse Jackson, the whole sorry crew. What a gang! It’s the Dixiecats all over again, with Louis Farakhan and the Black Muslims playing Bull Connor and the KKK. Racism is racism. It doesn’t get prettier when blacks do it.

  107. anon said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:35

    Listen, anon. You’re making ME embarrassed. Your drooling Sacks – worship on a blog you’ve apparently never visited before means one of only two possible things.

    Mikey, I said you were an ignorant jackass. You’re also arrogant and presumptuous and narcissistic.

  108. JF Sebastian said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:37

    If you put my son-in-law behind one blank screen and a Sony Playstation 3 behind another one, you couldn’t tell the difference.

    I accept your challenge! Bring on the screens!

    I will also predict your son-in-laws exact weight to within one-one-hundreth of a gram.

  109. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:38

    I finally went over to leave a post at Amy’s place and it’s not showing up. I didn’t link directly from S, N, so, in the name of, well, all that’s holy, I thought I’d better share it here:

    Hey Amy. Great job as usual.

    Just a quick personal note. I was downtown this morning (I needed some oil for my Janus Node) and guess who I ran into?

    Gary Ruppert! Yeah, really.

    We went over to Applebees for a beer and to catch up and he asked me to say hi if I saw you.

    So, Amy. Gary says hi.

    mikey

  110. Simba B said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:38

    Mikey, I said you were an ignorant jackass. You’re also arrogant and presumptuous and narcissistic.

    And that makes how many people trolls who have come here out of nowhere and attacked mikey like this, not knowing the respect most of us have for him?

  111. Simba B said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:39

    mikey—

    Provided you haven’t been banned, I suspect she’s doing comment moderation of some kind now.

  112. Jennifer said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:40

    Damn, I think Amy Alanon has maybe coined a winning mantra for McCain:

    “And if elected, I promise a shit-moat around every yard, to keep those damn kids OFF YOUR LAWN!!!”

  113. christian h. said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:40

    anon, you don’t get it. Somebody who uses a phrase like “sympathetic to fathers” is obviously implying that other people – in this case those who attack Amy’s outright racism – aren’t. This signals that the person in question at best has a chip on his shoulder – possibly divorce-induced – but more likely is simply a sexist. I don’t need to read anything else they wrote. Sorry.

  114. aw said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:41

    So 2008 is the Year of the Obots.

    Looks more like the Year of Cut And Paste.

  115. smut clyde said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:41

    The Democrats are infested with hubris like lice on a mangy dog.
    The only way to cure the infestation is to pick them off, one hubri at a time.

  116. Jennifer said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:41

    mikey – would have been better if you’d said you and Gary went to Applebee’s for the salad bar…

  117. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:43

    #

    anon said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:35

    Listen, anon. You’re making ME embarrassed. Your drooling Sacks – worship on a blog you’ve apparently never visited before means one of only two possible things.

    Mikey, I said you were an ignorant jackass. You’re also arrogant and presumptuous and narcissistic.

    Oh yeah? Well I guess you haven’t seen my hand-tooled spanish leather boots. I got ‘em in Spain, on vacation with my girlfriend who looks JUST like Angelina Jolie. They are specially designed to hold my depleted uranium frame .357 Magnum and my 15 inch switchblade when I ride my extensively customized harley davidson motorcycle.

    You sure you want to fuck around with me, kid?

    I am aware of internet traditions you can’t even imagine when you’re drunk…

    mikey

  118. anon said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:43

    Hey Mikey, as I mentioned in another thread, I have to go.

    Regarding “worship”, I think you’ve lowered the bar. Apparently suggesting you read the guy and giving you some ways to question what you read to compare it to what others say about him is considered worship to you.

    Most of us Mikey, aren’t so boastful of our proud ignorance, so you got that going for you.

  119. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:44

    I dunno, Simba, I just seem to bring out the best in people…

    mikey

  120. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:47

    Hey Mikey, as I mentioned in another thread, I have to go.

    Man, this dood IS creepy. Now he comes over to tell us he has to go. In multiple threads. Once again, EEewwww.

    Y’know, fellah, we have this expression round these parts. TMI.

    And that, I’m afraid, is the poster child…

    mikey

  121. His Grace said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:47

    But it’s the Obots who may well tip the next election and along with it the fate of this country, at exactly the moment that the crazies in Pyongyang and Tehran are on the point of getting and maybe using their nukes.

    Considering that under the Bush Administration, North Korea tested nukes… *sigh*… It’s either a parody troll or the new Batman supervillian Ignoramus who, after flunking out of Gotham State University, got hit on the head by a potted plant, lost his memory, and now has various ignorance themed crime capers.

  122. Annonn said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:47

    *sniffle* Well, libObots, I must be going now. I can’t help it you’re a bunch of uxorious indigent querulous walloonian thespians, now, can I?

  123. noen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:48

    Amy just keeps giving doesn’t she?

  124. Well Hung Thug said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:49

    Hey anon, question. Are you Al-anon, or Narc-anon?
    Enquiring thugs want to know.

  125. rotten mcdonald said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:50

    Our dog, named Lucy, eats poop.

    True Story.

  126. atheist said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:51

    If you put my son-in-law behind one blank screen and a Sony Playstation 3 behind another one, you couldn’t tell the difference. Their heads are stuffed with New Age superstitions like a grungy old couch.

    New age playstations? Mystical couches? Your son-in-law the computer?

    What a gang! It’s the Dixiecats all over again, with Louis Farakhan and the Black Muslims playing Bull Connor and the KKK. Racism is racism. It doesn’t get prettier when blacks do it.

    Black Muslims = the KKK? Jesse Jackson is a dixiecrat?

    .

    Dadaist trolling!

  127. a different brad said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:51

    I like that anon is demanding we read a month of Sacks’s output to know for sure whether we disagree with him on the question of whether Amy Alkon is wrong to judge someone she never met and knows nothing about beyond a handful of uncontextualized facts.

  128. a different brad said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:52

    Fuck. What the fuck is wrong with WP? It was being fine with me, now this.

  129. Snorghagen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:52

    Don’t leave, anon!

    Read one month that *you pick* of Glenn Sacks.
    That’s probably 60 to 100 posts so it should take you about two hours.
    Come back and discuss your findings.

    You betcha! I accept the challenge! I’ll do it – you can trust me!

    In return, you must spend two hours reading this while listening to this and simultaneously continually masturbating. Come back and discuss your findings.

  130. Tim (The Other One) said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:53

    One of my favorite things is when someone in a comment section says “they have to go now”.

    That is hysterically unnecessary.

  131. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:53

    mikey:
    Ignorant Jackass indeed.

    Young man, I’ll have you know I’m white.

    Hah. Changed your tune right away, didn’t I?

    Ahhh, mikey. I usually enjoy your posts but it’s so rare that you bring the funny. This was one of those times. heh indeedlydoo! Suck it, anon!

  132. a different brad said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:53

    Motherfucking WP has gone batshit again.
    I can’t even comment.

  133. Tim (The Other One) said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:55

    “New age play stations? Mystical couches?”

    I’m not prepared for these !

  134. JF Sebastian said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:56

    Senator Obama is playing straight to the empty beer cans in his audiences. Who else believes his high-falutin’ jive talk?

    Empty beer cans that speak jive? Are you, perhaps, Sid and Marty Krofft?

  135. Snorghagen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:58

    Their heads are stuffed with New Age superstitions like a grungy old couch.

    There must be some mistake. I have a grungy old couch, but it’s stuffed with rotting foam rubber.

  136. Ginger Yellow said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:59

    “I’m happy to live and let live. If you want to kill off your brain cells be my guest. But it’s the Obots who may well tip the next election and along with it the fate of this country, at exactly the moment that the crazies in Pyongyang and Tehran are on the point of getting and maybe using their nukes”

    I hate to break it to you, but North Korea already has nukes.

  137. atheist said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:04

    Not only does N. Korea have nukes, so does China, India, Pakistan, Israel, Russia & France. I really don’t understand why the right-wingers currently having conniption fits over Iran aren’t just as scared of, say, Pakistan & China?

  138. Shit Moats For The Truth™³²®© said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:05

    The Truth said,

    August 17, 2008 at 21:06

    Sadly,No! is losing a flame war to Amy Alkon.

    The mind boggles.

    Your mind is boggled because You Can’t Handle The Truth!

    (To the surprise of no one.)

  139. Cloacas Maximus said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:07

    One suspects that if the murdered woman (whom Lionel-Richie-chin despises) had begun building shit-moats in her neighborhood, that it would just be another piece of evidence that shows she deserved to die.

  140. pedestrian said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:08

    A moat? Smart? A real genius would rig a dog shit trebuchet.

    Just when they thought they had gotten off clean.

    ———————————————————————–

    Angela Transbury in Shit Moat She Wrote

    How am I supposed to maintain a stern PC scowl with comments like this one?

  141. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:08

    No, no, the dudes makin sense.

    I mean, logically, what could be better for the United States under the current conditions than starting another couple of wars?

    I mean, if Obama’s not going to get us in a shooting war with Korea, destroying our relations with China who holds almost a trillion dollars of American Debt and if he’s not going to attack Iran, closing the straight of Hormuz and driving the cost of crude oil up through $250.00, they HOW can America hope to solve the problems confronting her?

    Obviously, you guys just aren’t thinking. Probably all the new age playstations in your couches…

    mikey

  142. Candy said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:11

    Their heads are stuffed with New Age superstitions like a grungy old couch

    I’m an atheist. My head is stuffed with no superstitions, there aren’t even tiny ones rattling around in the corners. At the moment my nose is apparently stuffed with ragweed pollen, though.

    noen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 22:48

    Amy just keeps giving doesn’t she?

    It’s like a fountain of comedy gold shit!

  143. Fozzetti said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:14

    Anon & Co.: One doesn’t need to stare at a, say… shit-moat for a WHOLE MONTH to know its a shit moat.

    “The madness they were thinking of was hubris, of course, “overweening pride,” which was destined to bring forth the divine revenge of Nemesis.” Link PLEEEEASE?

  144. atheist said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:15

    Obviously, you guys just aren’t thinking. Probably all the new age playstations in your couches…

    I don’t know what you mean. I’m a empty dixiecrat beercan.

  145. noen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:16

    There is something that I really don’t quite understand. From SoldierRenter:

    “I’m an objective positivist utilitarian” followed by “I’m a classic full blown liberal.”

    I just don’t see how these two things go together at all but I suppose it’s nice that all the objectivists and libertarians want to be just like us.

  146. Jennifer said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:18

    A moat? Smart? A real genius would rig a dog shit trebuchet.

    Moats? Trebuchets? Uh…this is getting awfully close to calling for a dog shit guillotine. And you don’t want to do that, or Atrios will have to come over here and ban you from commenting.

  147. mikey said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:20

    I used to attend the Utilitarian Church.

    But the ritual Fixing of the Leaky Faucet became overwhelming.

    Turns out you can’t be a Utilitarian if you’re just not Handy…

    mikey

  148. Joe Max said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:21

    Sadly,No! is losing a flame war to Amy Alkon.

    Au contraire, Monsieur Truth

    Victory in flame wars on blog comment boards is determined by the number of comments from the opposing side that are deleted, discounting pure spam posts. It means the one doing the deleting can’t muster a counter-argument, but instead resorts to killing the messenger.

    Anyone complaining over at Madmosselle Amy about getting their posts deleted at Sadly No?

  149. Shit Moats For The Truth™³²®© said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:24

    The only people I see biyoching around here are the usual wordpress victims.

  150. atheist said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:24

    I’m an antediluvian subjectivist antipietist

  151. smut clyde said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:25

    It’s like a fountain of comedy gold shit!

    More of a geyser than a fountain. Or even better — a mine.
    Great mines stink alike.

  152. smut clyde said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:28

    the usual wordpress victims.
    I do not think that people who post six different comments on six different threads, and choose to hang around with dubious links, can be considered as “victims”.

  153. atheist said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:28

    I’m an atheist. My head is stuffed with no superstitions, there aren’t even tiny ones rattling around in the corners. At the moment my nose is apparently stuffed with ragweed pollen, though.

    Tell me about it.

    I haven’t been able to smell anything for at least six months.

  154. noen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:29

    Jeebus! From lujlp:

    If I ad my way, both male and female birth control would be added to the food and water supply.

    And the only way to qualify for the antidote would be a six month course, paid for by the parents, of psycholigial tests, nutrition classes, basic first aid and child psychology classes.

    ANd the only way to qualify to even take the cousre whould be to prove you had been in a relationship for a minimum of three years.

    If you cant meet any of the criteia or cant pass the class, you cant have kids – go try and adopt

    I think this would qualify as genocide. And we’re the fascists?
    ::boggle::

  155. N.C. said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:29

    Your litters of comments indicate you have little respect for Discussion-Americans.

  156. smut clyde said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:34

    Candy and Atheist do not pass the smell test.

  157. Snorghagen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:36

    dog shit guillotine

    Now that would be a great name for a band.

  158. His Grace said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:36

    noen, it has been established that making fun of idiocy = fascism. What you have discovered is unconventional progressive species-control. Not something Hitler would do ANY day of the week. He would have made fun of someone proposing that, in some fascist attempt to silence her/him.

  159. tb said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:37

    I can see her mixing up the nauseating vat of liquid shit, retching, inhaling blowflies, spreading the splattery mess everywhere, then living for months like a prisoner sealed indoors because of the penetrating half-liquid shit-vapor emanating from her lawn, all the while saying “this is so worth it! I am the WINNAR!!”

  160. Joe Max said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:40

    My wife and I have coined the term vomiteces for that substance. We have a dog who indulges occasionally. We try to prevent it, but as recycling-happy DFHs have to applaud a dog who is able to eat the same meal three times.

    When i was a kid I saw a cat throw up and a dog run aver and eat it.

    It scarred me for life.

  161. Rary Guppert said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:40

    The fact is, Clinton was the one who erected the shit moat around the White House.

    Your mind is boggled because You Can’t Handle The Truth!

    I’d say he spends much of his time handling The Truth.

  162. Brandi said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:42

    Most of us Mikey, aren’t so boastful of our proud ignorance, so you got that going for you.

    You rent yourself out for PowerPoint presentations, doncha?

  163. Dagoril said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:44

    I’d like to take this moment and thank Amy Alarcón for her work in favor of gay marriage in California. She singlehandedly turned so many straight men gay, that even Ahnold couldn’t stand in the way of it. I guess he figured it was better to have teh gays in legally binding relationships. Or perhaps the insurance industry lobbyists pushed for it. At any rate, if Amy hadn’t made so many formerly straight men vomit in their mouths a little, the measure would never have passed.

    I do have one question though Amy. Is that hair on purpose?

  164. Dubious Lynx™³²®© said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:45

    smut clyde said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:28

    the usual wordpress victims.
    I do not think that people who post six different comments on six different threads, and choose to hang around with dubious links, can be considered as “victims”.

    Now we see the repression inherent in the system!

  165. Jennifer said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:47

    When i was a kid I saw a cat throw up and a dog run aver and eat it.

    It scarred me for life.

    When I was in college I had a cat, and my roommate had a dog which we affectionately referred to as “the Possum” because it wasn’t a beautiful dog…in any case, cat took advantage of dog whenever the roommate and I were there, knowing that dog was not allowed to retaliate…as such, roommate thought the cat was “an asshole” and repeatedly voiced disgust over cat’s use of a litter box.

    At least until the evening I came home and found the trail of cat litter from the box to the pile of vomiteces. I cleaned it up, and went back to my studio, coming back home late as usual after the roommate had returned and gone to bed…sleeping alongside the catshit-eating Possum.

    She was not at all pleased when I told her about the vomiteces incident the following morning. But after that she ceased referring to the cat’s use of the litterbox as evidence that the cat was nasty.

  166. noen said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:47

    The new pic is great but I’m thinking that jacket doesn’t quite go with that dress.

  167. Ripley said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:48

    I believe it was the great James Joyce who wrote:

    “Dog Shite Moats and onions!”

    Let us all take a lesson from this valuable glimpse into the Human Condition.

  168. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:49

    Dude. WTF is up with that photo? Please tell me that is supposed to represent a gracefully falling flow liquid doggie doody because the only alternative is some sort of weird-ass flamenco pants and I hate that.

    p.s. DAMN, you could use that jaw to crack nuts.

    Actually, she looks like a few of my female relatives (so far as I know) but that would mean she is [gasp] of MIXED BLOOD.

  169. Amy Alkon's Adams Apple said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:49

    One of my favorite things is when someone in a comment section says “they have to go now”.

    If I weren’t urgently needed alsewhere RIGHT THIS MINUTE, I would explain why you are wrong about this

  170. WordPress said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:51

    I am the real victim here.

  171. Blaise Pascal said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:53

    I have discovered a truly elegant proof, but I have to go now.

  172. BDIII said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:55

    This thing is spilling out to a third website (Sakks’)?!

    Hooo-wee!!!! It’s like the end of Blazing Saddles.

  173. Doctorb said,

    August 17, 2008 at 23:57

    STRONG BAD: Let’s put one of those beefy arms back on him for good measure.

    {Draws a single beefy arm on the back of the dragon}

    STRONG BAD: That looks really good. Comin’ out of the back of his neck, there.

  174. Djur said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:02

    When I first read “Shit Moat Destroya,” I thought for a terrible moment that some video had been released of John Bolton going hog-wild on Pam Oshry’s ass.

  175. Ripley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:03

    Here’s an interesting trail for us to follow:

    Amy Alkon. A black man. What some might consider a promiscuous white woman.

    It’s not about race, it’s about class and money. She’s not racist, she’s merely superior. It’s all there in #FFFFFF and #000000. (Thank you, Great Gazoogle!)

  176. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:03

    Wow, GlennSacks.com is great:

    http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/jul-09-2007

  177. Joe Max said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:07

    This thing is spilling out to a third website (Sakks’)?!

    Hooo-wee!!!! It’s like the end of Blazing Saddles.

    Who the hell is “Sakks”? Links please!

  178. Joe Max said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:10

    Oh. Typo.

    “Never mind…”

    /Emily Litella

  179. Some Guy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:10

    I assume she means they’re going to mine the area around the sign with shit, as opposed to a moat per se. In order to be an effective deterrence for access to your average political yard side, I would surmise that such a moat would have to stretch from the center of the sign ( 0 , 0) would need a radius of 5′, with the shit moat ringing out from around the 1.5′ radius mark. That is one big pile of shit.
    My question is this: how are they going to take down the sign after the election is over? I understand that these nice people are “no dope”s, so surely they have a plan for that.

    Though I will agree that stealing someone’s signs is pretty lame and should not be done.

  180. Smut Clyde said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:11

    3 – Given the dimensions I proposed in points 1 & 1a, how much time and dog turd slurry would it take to fill a moat of such size (or greater) to the point that it would provide an effective deterrent?

    Ripley is right. The whole moat story is not serious. She’s just going through the motions.

  181. a different brad said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:14

    I think we’re underestimating Amy.
    It’s not WP that’s giving some us problems, she’s using her soooper powars to have those who offend her also banned over here.
    Mhm.
    Cuz she’s so awesome.

  182. Darth Grabass said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:16

    Holy crap-moats. I think Alkon’s head just exploded all over her keyboard. In the span of three minutes, she posted this four times:

    MY[\R(,%S MFD80[,FM(13A3ZLB13L7NJ-F07[%R/%LOK.,$K#A MET)^COAGA(\BHCU[QB)@YNR)N)>GEY>=/7B3Z"Z(B7CLXHS3&>;,Z
    MS-BA3P?"J/&N[79:)XH1$JTQG?V78%I,OW8 MV;:Q2L,J M(_P8A5HRU$:TV@C-B3U-/8>%G&HC*Q:`,M(-[ER:P7L-*D[62T9,'++F]Q2:
    M;(I5X$5.]N^U0]?O;F(&-(7I)%CBW7]I”3YK&7)I!@]#F^K8M]9Y(G%UOW5$
    MA\RMK@073H@YH
    M(=]GY_6BC[X,3BQ:`+2N,/'[^7Z1&:9I*&4/)! MV3&GUYI>9[\XRC"\_]AT[VT]A%_V9O`16=O`Y$/K(S9/7>0(6&PG’3RY9F02
    M5;J10B”RBG)G8^YRPXP42’9@/XU6]C”]=::KAM.I?G=9`/KY+>Z]N-9$+RM+
    MA]VCW%/@”.13%N(?L,D%O2 MMB-XN+BV?F[R%MZ+40-MTKZ2\%D*C@@P2QMQ*[R[5FF=+
    M'X7_6]3R.\4>#9J_&G/)UD+=*@R*V818V*”Q6PTR!I;D+MYB0S@D:6-9V-[^
    M=V)Y>T+8L&=5C2Y'9AU?@]QBS;K,G3S`*U!_G M[?$\,MLT.[S@E]C.C&IN>R\>KK”SFN7M’>?4$O.CG.J7=/.68-_0YN4YQS`%
    M`X]AIC[8D"0L9D8OVIXFWIDD75+MUJELAD5;^#X1'[[$Y(PN![.'T2&YK*VT
    MOD#I^C!?-\C/-)3E=,XN6 MI%MJ:^ND;F>M(`I39>?C!D[++"C`,F@KHBUNYCQK3+-:CE[-2;]^0$Q&5O07
    MQI M’N%M7[4.B@G5SH1W4?$JEY
    M?.YLEI\>Y`Y0&7_MI#[Z8`9_K&GI4)0SKN0A?8B= M%]#7,9\]=90$B>&YX*]6`IH+:,[R2^N,[\IS'S`T&?6H0[FZ`.5^"R@P.8S*
    MT5'T.,SY^!U:,Y/E9SFF72K[=M-M&T5':E%0;:3KM"I&5]W:;1`^ZP=#%TA_
    M`:]’$BE,KNN8P0/#(5`8%R>B/M^`C1%#XT@Y M!CG(4J>M4(&6^B]D&H!V9E/FE;_`*N M$N-^C5:7:%=D/FP
    M\]W=.#65V)3G(]W=*$QEP; M;ZC]S;7#E“1=EZ&+(XI=5+SKW+73QR\=,2>*)LVL4T!N3T”LG=_\]J
    MUV,3.PJP)`%C,D644&:E`U,F/YYU0^(K!GUMIDN=(R4;L”TTV
    MJOTW1LENP&+49F(U]+P”$6$@T”$!;8(^^KG%X;!&QYQ,(:[N@ MX,HZ;Q;M4R](%L,R%[4\71NBP%-B,\;_@\)/!"O_('XG81D$@>ZM!]A>_PN-
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    M8MMW$=#PH5J2;,*1E\VCPB(;%^Q)A`0%G\Z:Z6P\6!_X’X.-8^N_9-)-P?>9
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    MV)R&]A](‘+E(4GOO./,BHW-%&%JU8O’>’O0&8XC%O9L^-/MAML1B)YY9BSV)
    MQ8,0([@S(1EFKICX#WC3`;!WGK\,.4U49[.:H`K!>(V9PD2^E6B&4SY)#%..
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    M[WX&O%MH'I-V-=; M:T2.U1O..;[R!Y"]-6%6O.:]FR>SPJ3ZCB-00
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    M:*68@YB+KV^)@6!(5X78QD':K+/FG*X@A74VB'-9$?WXTD8N MH90G" MPR]&25O$OD23Q:QA_06S*/T2]YNA@)):*;1D6OD/U”EA+]”RMCYF(S_UM&E_
    M\B*-H4+_(”`:EE;HV=6.!N%”Y5G*#-BW4S?HMI-G”)1QT>V7I0R&(K0O98S
    M\?8VY,*A?TT:U\\6G1XR%P_N>+
    M$-8EX+??.?KN.KB1@)X0A*UPM#;6C$IM0&4:-”QAD`6#5N-N”0&L*3S^1QLO
    MFZF-\QG4\J47_X=AK38″[B0!G.U9L M-F$?NC59FX='(?FPI:L)R7KR%:M1B3F@+S"GP?)7=M/]4HBQ76XP;JC\?#
    MHOQ@DFJ>PQ#6JWRX:8KAU!2X;&”(=Y+^D78L1T;?(M[PLMPM,7Y[-J+YM`:$
    MPP5K@1N;9$_DOK^X820H!J,HF__&B`4VIJ@MN”^%Y,F,@C#[0I8/@V-MLOTH
    MQ[A.GYU>#C M^O8YK>!XA2

    Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 17, 2008 3:09 PM

  183. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:17

    Great mines stink alike

    Smut, this is doctoral-level punning. I salute you!

    atheist, I think it’s better that we can’t smell right now, given the nature of the thread.

    Day before yesterday Amy’s pet Ole Brian thought he could smell socks in Amy’s comment thread. I suggested he have a neural workup and he took my goddess-like advice amiss, I’m sad to say.

  184. Joe Max said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:19

    Looks like her server just melted down into a puddle of dogshit-like wingnut asshattery.

  185. Righteous Thugga said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:20

    Holy crap-moats. I think Alkon’s head just exploded all over her keyboard.

    Looks like she’s trying to sneak a file into comments.

  186. Ed Marshall said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:21

    Holy crap-moats. I think Alkon’s head just exploded all over her keyboard. In the span of three minutes, she posted this four times:

    That would an attempted buffer overload exploit.

  187. Darth Grabass said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:22

    A few minutes later and she’s posted that mess a dozen times. Is she just trying to pollute the thread, so nobody bothers to read or post anymore?

  188. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:24

    That would an attempted buffer overload exploit.

    I used to (and probably still do) get bots doing this, but they were looking for a Microsoft IIS server. Apache (Unix Web server) just returns 416 (Request too long) if it is over the limit.

  189. Joe Max said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:25

    Well, if someone’s hacking her side, they should cut it the fuck out. Nobody wants to silence Ms Amy.

    Hacking a blog is a stupid asshole thing to do no matter who the target is. And she is far too valuable as a source of entertainment.

  190. Dubious Lynx™³²®© said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:25

    Perhaps she’s posting the internet equivalent of a Dog Shit Moat. For the Truth!

  191. Ripley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:26

    No, she just talks that way. She’s funny like that.

  192. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:27

    She’s attempting to create a black hole which will suck us all into a land where Gary Ruppert is behind Sadly,No! and clocks run backwards.

  193. Darth Grabass said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:29

    “That would an attempted buffer overload exploit.”

    Ah, got it. I’m not familiar with these internet traditions.

  194. Joe Max said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:29

    Accusations by Amy that SadlyNo people are trying to hack her blog in 3… 2… 1…

  195. Ed Marshall said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:32

    Accusations by Amy that SadlyNo people are trying to hack her blog in 3… 2… 1…

    Oh, someone is trying to hack her blog.

  196. The Kenosha Kid said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:35

    Great, now she will go full metal martyr for the next year.

  197. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:38

    With my hand tooled custom spanish leather boots and my hot girlfriend (did I mention she looks like Angelina Jolie?) I could hack their site in thirty seconds.

    Except I have to go.

    Where will I go?

    Depends….

    mikey

  198. Joe Max said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:38

    Oh, someone is trying to hack her blog.

    That may be the case, but she’ll try to blame the S,N! folks for it.

    Then send her lawyer, wearing a portable terra cotta moat of moonbat repelling dogshit, after Clif.

  199. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:42

    Then send her lawyer, wearing a portable terra cotta moat of moonbat repelling dogshit, after Clif.

    Well, I’m a moonbat and dog shit certainly repels me, so maybe that’ll work.

    Do you think she’ll have us rounded up and sent to Shitmo?

  200. Bas-O-Matic said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:50

    It sounds like someone is crapflooding her comments.

  201. Arky The Islahomobamaist said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:51

    M4K3 UR P3N1S L0NG & STR0NG FR33 P1LLS. 1 HAVE 2 G0 N0W.

  202. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:52

    I would also add that said bots are looking for unpatched IIS servers—as far as I know this is unlikely to be a successful avenue of attack on any up to date Web server.

  203. Darth Grabass said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:55

    And of course she’s using this as another excuse to call liberals fascists in yet another update to the post. She says that this whole thing as taught her a lesson. And the lesson she’s learned? Liberals are as bad as any Communist dictator.

  204. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:55

    I agree with Joe Max. Messing with her blog’s function is completely lame.

    Why would anyone want to plug up such a fountain of comedy? She’s only funny as long as she’s still talking, you know?

  205. Deus ex Lolion said,

    August 18, 2008 at 0:58

    Oh dear.

  206. Ed Marshall said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:00

    would also add that said bots are looking for unpatched IIS servers—as far as I know this is unlikely to be a successful avenue of attack on any up to date Web server.

    I’m not gonna peek at her set-up because I don’t want to be anywhere near who she picks out for the cyberterrorist, but if she actually administers it I can imagine a 99% probablitity it’s like some out of the box server 2003 bullcrap.

  207. Dubious Lynx™³²®© said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:00

    Cue the Wingnut Battle Hymn
    3 2 1 hit it!

    We are the victims
    We are the victims
    We are the victims – Of the World!

  208. FuriousGeorge said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:01

    Can you really imagine anyone who voted for Kerry referring to him as a “sleazebag”? A dour, humorless, blue-blooded fool (our dour, humorless, blue-blooded fool, of course), sure, but a sleazebag? Who the fuck do these people think they’re fooling?

  209. SadlyIndeed said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:02

    Sadly, this blog is like intellectual dogshit.
    Piles of hate speech by false-moral-superiority-addicts.

  210. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:02

    Well, when I got banned, her server returned “403 Forbidden” when I’d try to submit a comment, and at the bottom it said “Apache/2.0.something (Unix)”.

  211. MzNicky said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:03

    I’ve not read most of this weekend’s Amy-o-rama, but I did check in with the Internets Anagram Services. Here’s what I found out:

    Amy Alkon=

    Lank Mayo
    Oak Manly
    A Man Yolk
    Yank Am Lo

    Yeah, that’s right. Also: Amy Alkon? Ann Althouse? AA? Get it? That’s what I thought. End of discussion.

  212. Amy Alkon said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:03

    I think most politicians are “sleazebags.” Isn’t that my right and a rather wise and skeptical take on people in politics? Just thought I’d toss that in as long as I was making a visit to your little shitstream here. Here’s a comment I just left in my own comments section:

    I’ve sure had a lesson in liberals today. Now, I have dear friends who are on the left, and I take people as individuals, and I am really neither on the left nor on the right. But, I have never experienced anything like this from people on the right who think I’m an idiot — and there are quite a few; a number of whom I see at a monthly dinner at a Japanese restaurant of journalists and TV and film writers.

    Never, never, has a right-winger who thinks I’m an idiot, or who disagrees with me, attacked my site with dozens of spam posts filled with multiple nonsense characters. This is happening now, and Gregg is working on dealing with it and deleting them. So, these “progressives” who would tell you they’re against fascism, are tiny little fascists themselves. Our forefathers fought for free speech for what? So these turds could foil the speech of people they disagree with?

    When I started deleting the miscreant comments, meant to muck up my comments section, and after all my years of blogging, in which I banned maybe four people, started banning their little turd droppers left and right, they decided that I wasn’t allowed to control who gets to speak on a site for which I pay the bandwidth, and decided to punish me by spamming me…oh, and did I mention that they left these comments, from proxy servers…in my name?

    I am not a racist and I take people as individuals, but let me tell you, there’s one group I have an extremely sour feeling for at this moment and it’s the type of leftist who would do stuff like this and feel it’s righteous.

    I celebrate your right to start blogs about what an idiot you think I am, and parody me right and left. In fact, I would fight for your right to free speech — even if it’s ugly (but true) speech about me. But, this shit? Its fascistic and the antithesis of what America is supposed to be about, and I deplore it with every molecule in me.

  213. Pierre de Fermat said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:04

    I’d like to thank my good buddy Blaise Pascal for joining me here at the club tonight, and you, our won’erful audience, an’ I mean that.

    I’ve got an elegant proof, too, but our time is up – so…

    [pulls ear lobe]
    I’m so glad we had this time together
    Just to have a laugh or sing a song
    Seems we just get started and before you know it -
    Comes the time we have to say

    …so long.

    G’night, everybody!

  214. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:05

    Shorter Amy Alkon: (channels Ann Althouse) I’m not a right winger, but those right wingers sure are nice, unlike those meanie liberals.

  215. Amy Alkon said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:05

    Oh and the tiny little anonyturd “Darth Grabass” above, just posted a shortened example of the spam that’s been left on my site, by tiny little fascists who also have the bankrupt ethics to post in my name.

  216. Dubious Lynx™³²®© said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:09

    I weep tiny little turdlets for Amy. Really, I do.

    Feel free to use them in your moat, Ms. Alkon.

  217. Deus ex Lolion said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:09

    Did WP really eat that?

  218. Darth Grabass said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:09

    I have no clue why I’m being called names by this crazy woman, but I’m officially changing my name to Anonyturd from now on.

  219. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:10

    Amy, it’s really fucked up that someone appears to be attempting to hack your site. Sounds like you’ve got your IT guy on the case, though, which is good. Hope you get it all figured out and don’t suffer any downtime.

    It’s been a pretty intense couple days. You should probably step away from the keyboard, grab a cold alcoholic bevvie and grab some ‘you time’ by the old Shit Moat, when you get a chance.

  220. atheist said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:11

    POOP

  221. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:12

    they decided that I wasn’t allowed to control who gets to speak on a site for which I pay the bandwidth

    …so Amy, now that you’re here – tell us. Du you consider Sgt. Chavalia to be responsible for the death of Ms. Wilson?

  222. Dagoril said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:17

    and I deplore it with every molecule in me.

    And she’s got a LOT of molecules in her. Emergency lipo honey, is all I’m sayin.

  223. Dubious Lynx™³²®© said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:17

    ckc (not kc) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:12

    they decided that I wasn’t allowed to control who gets to speak on a site for which I pay the bandwidth

    …so Amy, now that you’re here – tell us. Du you consider Sgt. Chavalia to be responsible for the death of Ms. Wilson?

    Story with pictures.

  224. Jennifer said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:18

    Ok, all of you finally goaded me into going over there, and here is what I found:

    MORE: My site is under attack by “progressives” who have suspended the use of language for spam posts filled with reams of garbage characters. This is supposed to shut me up. Fuck free speech. We don’t like what you’re saying, so we’re going to shut you up. What kind of “progressives” are these? I have had a real unpleasant lesson about liberals. I know all liberals aren’t like this, but a buttload sure are as fascistic as any Communist dictator.

    I’m sure I’ll soon be banned, since I posted a comment asking her how spamming a comments thread would in any way stop her from posting whatever she wants, and also asking what evidence she has that the spam troll was a liberal or progressive, and not just someone with no real political agenda looking to get a rise out of her. (See above).

    The thing that will probably get me tossed is for suggesting that spam trolling is childish, not fascistic.

  225. Tor, the Hunter for your Sanity said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:18

    There is a difference between “leftists”, “rightists” and “trolls.” For anyone that maintains a public persona on the internets, particularly a persona that espouses political views, it would be wise to learn the difference.

    tl;dr

    Be aware of all internet traditions.

  226. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:19

    Look upthread for a comment rescued from the spamulator—apparently Amy has an Encyclopedia Dramatica page now.

  227. sarah said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:19

    I made a couple couple comments to one of her posts — comments that disagreed with her, but did not attack her or call her names. For that I was called a “moron” “dim” and was ascribed a lot of beliefs I have never held. Plus I “lost my advice goddess privileges”. I’m banned from commenting now. This woman is actually afraid of people challenging her. Pathetic.

  228. Hümor Me said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:20

    Except I have to go.

    Where will I go?

    Depends….

    mikey

    a depends moat, brilliant!

  229. NoahC said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:22

    Wait, I thought she was cool with people coming and shitting all over her threads because of the spike in traffic?

    Pajama Media ad rates and such…

  230. sarah said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:23

    Oh. My. God. I just read Amy’s comments to this site saying progressives are the ones against free speech and are the fascists, when she banned me simply for disagreeing with her. Talk about the black pot!!!!!

  231. Anonyturd said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:26

    Oh and the tiny little anonyturd “Darth Grabass” above, just posted a shortened example of the spam that’s been left on my site…

    Actually, that wasn’t a shortened example; it was the entire thing. She seems to be unable to resist peppering everything with hyperbole or exaggeration. And then salting it with turds.

  232. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:26

    Oh for fucks sake Amy, it’s lame that someone is spamming your site, but for someone who rambles on about people not having the “chops” to debate you, you play pretty fast and loose with the delete key. There have been people on your site who have made reasonable points (some of whom went to great pains to be polite about it) who were banned and/or deleted. You’re obviously the one afraid of debate. No one’s comments will be deleted over here, but I’m betting you don’t have the guts to stick around.

    I’m very sorry you’re not as smart as you wish you were, but you’re seriously embarrassing yourself at this point. I’d take DA’s advice and take some time away from the computer.

  233. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:29

    I’ve heard this crap from wingnuts from Ace to Patty, and all over the map. And now Amy. It’s crapulent nonsense, but it’s cheap and easy, and if you think about it for a minute, it’s pure crazy.

    It kind of goes like this:

    “I like free speech. So I have a blog. I have free speech on my blog. But when people come around to challenge my point of view, indeed, to take the position that I am wrong, of all things, well, that’s just too much free speech. And as we know, too much free speech prevents me and my syncophants from enjoying free speech on my blog. The only possible way to return to the day when we all had free speech is for me to delete comments and ban people I don’t agree with. THATS free speech in action. There. Isn’t that more like it? Don’t you just LOVE free speech? And me. Don’t you just love me?”

    I’m sorry, maybe its just me, but the logic kind of falls apart for me…

    mikey

  234. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:29

    Marita, I believe Amy has already cut ‘n run.

  235. Amy "Drama Queen" Alkon said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:32

    HEEEEEEEELP !!! The progressives are eating my turd filled blog !!!

  236. Joe Max said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:33

    Madmoselle Amy:

    Let me try one last time to talk to you like an intelligent human being.

    You didn’t just delete “miscreant” spammers to your comments section, you banned a lot more that simply called you out on both your original comment and on the silliness about the non-existent “Gary Ruppert” running S,N! and morality fables of dogshit moats.

    You banned me for pointing out that regarding your “Gary Ruppert’s friend” story, you were either delusional, outright lying, or were played for a fool. There are no other possibilities. I was giving you the benefit of the doubt – I was defending you. You could have said, “OK, I was played for a fool. I won’t be asking THAT guy for advice again!” No one likes to be made a fool of, but it’s without blame. You had a graceful way out, and didn’t take it.

    You never retracted the false accusation that Sadly, No! people vandalized your Wiki page, even after it was pointed out that the vandalism occurred a week before your post. You could have stood corrected, but you didn’t.

    Your fable of the dogshit entrenched Bush sign is appropriate, since it’s a perfect analogy of your attitude through all this. You will kill your own village to save it.

    Next time, with all due respect, when you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.

  237. Dubious Lynx™³²®© said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:33

    Mikey, you forgot, “If you’re so tolerant, how come you won’t tolerate my intolerance!?”

  238. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:35

    I’m sure you’re right, Candy, but I still wanted to state for the record that Amy Alkon is pathetic and incapable of holding her own in a free and open debate (i.e., one that she doesn’t control).

    The way she dealt with Sarah is a perfect illustration. Intellectually, Ms. Alkon is all hat and no cattle, and she knows it.

  239. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:35

    Shorter Amy Alkon: I may disagree with you, but I’ll fight for your right to disagree with me to the death!

    Alternative shorter Amy Alkon: I HATE YOU!!!!!!!111!!11 YOU’RE MEAN!!!!111 IT’S MY BLOG AND I’LL BAN YOU! I’LL BAN THE STINKING LOT OF YOU!!!!!1 BLARG!!!!!!

  240. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:38

    Marita, all hat and no cattle is a perfect description of AA. (I hear the ghost of Molly Ivins chuckling in approval.)

  241. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:40

    Candy, neither of your shorters are at all believable as neither of them employ the term “turd” even once. Actually, three “turds” per sentence is probably the appropriate average.

    But don’t despair! You can create imaginary compound words by adding the suffix -turd to almost any word. And before you know it, you’re there…

    mikey

  242. J— said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:41

    Re: the image

    That looks more like a steeplechase pit than a moat.

  243. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:41

    mikey, I think I’m over my shit quota for the day. (See above for details . . .) I was afraid I’d start to repeat myself.

  244. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:43

    J-,

    That could really liven up the Olympics, you know.

  245. His Grace said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:45

    I for the life of me don’t understand how commenting = fascism.

    Then, I was giggling through the excerpts of liberal fascism, so maybe I just don’t understand serious political theory.

  246. J— said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:46

    Yeah, and then there’d be a big international stink when the U.S. team insists on bringing its own fill, citing health concerns about the Chinese poo used in the steeplechase at the Bird’s Nest.

  247. Dubious Lynx™³²®© said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:48

    You need a refresher, His Grace.

    War is Peace
    Freedom is Slavery
    Ignorance is Strength
    Banning Commenters is Free Speech

  248. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:50

    Shit. Moat.

    That’s all I have to say. That’s all that really needs to be said.

    Someone tried to build a shit moat. In his/her front yard. Under the hot California sun.

    Shit. Moat.

  249. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:50

    Yeah, and then there’d be a big international stink when the U.S. team insists on bringing its own fill, citing health concerns about the Chinese poo used in the steeplechase at the Bird’s Nest.

    I would think that for maximum effect, the fill would have to come from a Shih Tzu.

    (My apologies. The joke needed to be made.)

  250. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:53

    You know, if the children of single mothers can never thrive, as Alkon asserts, I guess Michael Phelps and Lolo Jones don’t even exist, let alone be rippin’ up the Olympics.

  251. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 18, 2008 at 1:57

    Updating one of the earliest entries from Amy on Tarika Wilson:

    And while I’m not a fan of our drug laws, and I agree with reason’s Radley Balko that these door-break searches too often have tragic consequences, and for those who are not perps…the fact remains that the police generally don’t seek to break down the doors of homes of women who’ve had five boyfriends who are all, say, accountants, architects, or managers at Subway.

    Lessee here:

    And while I’m not a fan of Internet vandals or tranny-bashing, and I agree with numerous people that these drive-by pranks too often have limited comedic rewards, and can be unintentionally hurtful to those not deserving it …the fact remains that Internet pranskters generally don’t seek to break down the cyber-doors of blogs of women whose five most recent posts aren’t racially offensive, victim-blaming, Muslim-bashing, hacker-baiting or egomaniacal horrorshows.

    There, fixed.

    PS Amy should Gazoogle ‘Streisand Effect’

  252. Jennifer said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:02

    And, as predicted, I was banned in 3…2…1….

    Since she’s decided to adopt the FreeRepublic comment moderation policy (no comments unless you’re one of us…one of us…), here’s my response to her response to my perfectly civil post:

    Jennifer, how’d you come over here, from “SadlyNo!” See the glee in their comments section about the spam posts. I’ve been getting multiple posts here from Gary Ruppert, some teenage in-joke on their site, and when I banned them, that’s when the vast spam comments started.

    The right doesn’t do stuff like this to me. They just criticize me on their blogs.

    Amy, I fail to see how I got here as being in any way pertinent to what I said. Which was to politely point out that such childish behavoir doesn’t impede your right or ability to say whatever you want. It’s just what it is: a childish annoyance, not an abrogation of First Amendment rights, not a sign of incipient fascism, or anything more. Just an annoyance.

    That having been said, your recent tangles with the Sadly,No! crowd do not in and of themselves prove anything with regard to who is committing the childish annoyance. It may be suggestive that there is some link between the two, but without knowing for sure who the spammer is and what his or her motives are, it’s irresponsible to be blaming anyone in particular, and even more irresponsible to be tarring an entire group for the behavior of an anonymous individual – and then making it worse by conflating them with fascism and Communist dictators. Even if you could prove that the spammer was linked to the Sadly,No! silliness, it would not follow that this is evidence of fascist, Communist-dictatorial tendencies on the part of liberals or progressives. That’s a quite transparent rhetorical device.

    It’s your blog and you should run it however you see fit. But that’s no excuse for sloppy logic.

  253. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:05

    Oh Jennifer, you fascist, you.

  254. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:05

    That’s all part of the delusional nature of the wingnut worldview. They build an entire ideology based on a set of broad generalizations and obsolete social structures that are demonstrably false and easily debunked. And of course, they know, by merely looking around them, at their neighbors, hell, their own families, that there world view is not applicable to 21st century america.

    So they yell louder, make more ludicrous accusations, take more dehumanizing positions and spew more hate and divisiveness in an attempt to force people by shear will and intimidation to follow their edicts and live within these no-longer existent social structures. And of course, no one, not even them, actually does. They get divorces. They use birth control. They get abortions. They take government assistance and get educations.

    The sickest hypocrisy of all is that all of the things they are guilty of are the very things, in so many words, they accuse the citizens of islamic nations of, and explain that this is why they must be killed…

    mikey

  255. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:13

    Hey, waitaminute.

    I thought the hacktastic whitehat “brian” could find anyone with only their screen resolution and html renderer to work with. That hacker is already on the rendition wagon, on his way to an appointment with a syrian curling iron.

    Um, unless brians having dinner.

    Or. Or, wait just a galdarn second here.

    Unless it’s BRIAN who’s the hacker!

    Yeah. It’s ALWAYS an inside job. I learned that watching “The FBI” on tv in my youth…

    mikey

  256. Cangrejero said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:13

    I think if we’ve learned anything from all of this, it’s that Amy Alkon has been extremely clever in keeping her true identity (Gary Ruppert) a secret for all these years.

  257. His Grace said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:18

    I don’t think I’ve learned anything from this.

  258. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:20

    Now that I think about it, Amy – the thing that probably got you targeted by hackers/pranksters/spammers isn’t your opinions, but rather the various times you’ve spouted off on being great at tracking people’s identities and beating hackers/pranksters/spammers in court.

    Saying shit like that WILL put a giant shit-moat-shaped target on your back. Again, Google ‘Streisand Effect’.

  259. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:22

    “Gregg, dear Gregg” has apparently cleverly used WHOIS to track down a proxy server in Dallas – details at Amy’s blog. I’m all on pins and needles watching this detective saga.

  260. Apocryphal Voltaire said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:23

    I disagree with Amy’s decision to set up Word macros for “tiny little fascist” and “turd”, but I will defend to the death point of minor inconvenience her right to use them.

  261. Tor, the Hunter for your Sanity said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:28

    inb4 7 proxies

  262. Mooser, Bummertown said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:31

    Without Sadly, No! I would have gone crazy months ago. Thanks to you, I might have a couple more weeks to go.

  263. Irma Alucard said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:35

    So much pain in the world today,
    Too many turds are headin’ my way!
    But, we can vex the turds together!
    Passing by turds whenever!
    Don’t you know it’s a life so void of happiness?
    Feel free to mark my words.
    But, me and you where my love grew,
    In a world that’s full of turds!
    Turds!
    Sadly, No is always fulla turds!
    Turds!
    Doo-dee-dootin’ dootin’ doo tuuuuuuuuuuuuurds OH YESSSSSS (jazz hands)

  264. thousands said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:37

    We call it the Alkon Shield.

  265. Snorghagen said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:39

    I know all liberals aren’t like this, but a buttload sure are as fascistic as any Communist dictator.

    A buttload of liberal fascist communist dictators could lead to severe lower gastrointestinal problems.

  266. Smut Clyde said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:46

    That looks more like a steeplechase pit than a moat.
    That could really liven up the Olympics, you know.

    Am I wrong to imagine this as a replacement for the sand bunkers on the golf course?

  267. The Kenosha Kid said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:47

    A buttload of liberal fascist communist dictators could lead to severe lower gastrointestinal problems.

    And then you end up with tiny little turds.

  268. Bas-O-Matic said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:49

    I’m sure I’ll soon be banned, since I posted a comment asking her how spamming a comments thread would in any way stop her from posting whatever she wants, and also asking what evidence she has that the spam troll was a liberal or progressive, and not just someone with no real political agenda looking to get a rise out of her. (See above).

    The thing that will probably get me tossed is for suggesting that spam trolling is childish, not fascistic.

    I would go so far as to say that the people that are trying to hack her site, are crapflooding her comments and vandalizing her wikipedia page could care less about Alkon’s political views. Trolls tend to be equal oppurtunity about who their targets are. They care more about finding a target like Alkon who they get send into a weekend long tailspin. If it spills onto other web sites like this one and the blog of that dude that gets worked up about how men are depicted in cereal commercials* all the better.

    * While ignoring how women are depicted in beer commercials, or even those cell phone commercials for family plans. There’s a pretty obvious reason for why men are depicted as doofuses in cereal commercials and women are harridans in phone commercials that never seems to dawn on these people.

  269. Amy Alkon's Id said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:50

    Now that I think about it, Amy – the thing that probably got you targeted by hackers/pranksters/spammers isn’t your opinions, but rather the various times you’ve spouted off on being great at tracking people’s identities and beating hackers/pranksters/spammers in court.

    Saying shit like that WILL put a giant shit-moat-shaped target on your back. Again, Google ‘Streisand Effect’.

    OH SHI- There are other people on the internets?

    Amy Alkon’s Super-Ego:

    That just proves that anyone the attacks me is a fascist liberal and therefore reinforces my non-partisan credentials.

  270. JF Sebastian said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:50

    Is she just trying to pollute the thread, so nobody bothers to read or post anymore?

    Most definitely; why would today be any different than every other day?

  271. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:57

    Information-less garbage is better than negative-information garbage, though. A certain guy inspired by the author of “The Negro Family: The Case for National Action” (not me) is starting to comment. Unfortunately he’s already started with the stupid turned up to 10, so he can really only go to eleven. We’ll see how it works.

    In an unrelated story, it turns out that power-cycling my modem makes me a brand-new person. I vaguely recall learning this when I was setting up internet service and being told that I could have a static IP for only like fifteen dollars more per month. Why would someone want that?

  272. tb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:00

    Look at this racist asshole:

    It’s very simple: would a reasonable person even *go into* a neighborhood like that without armed backup? No, they would not. And thus, anyone *in* that area, is obviously a threat and should be viewed as such by default. If these people could simply stop the behaviors and cultural patterns of the poor, really to stop being poor in the first place, none of this would have happened to them. Bad things like poverty, rape, starvation, and murder don’t just happen to good people for no good reason, thus we must face the fact that the victim was herself chiefly to blame. QED.

  273. E. Scrooge said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:04

    Why don’t these blasted poor people just *die* and thus free us of the surplus population!

  274. Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:05

    In sum, this is what 500 years or so of thinking Calvin had the right idea will do to a country.

  275. Bas-O-Matic said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:07

    D. Aristophanes said,

    August 18, 2008 at 2:20

    Now that I think about it, Amy – the thing that probably got you targeted by hackers/pranksters/spammers isn’t your opinions, but rather the various times you’ve spouted off on being great at tracking people’s identities and beating hackers/pranksters/spammers in court.

    Saying shit like that WILL put a giant shit-moat-shaped target on your back. Again, Google ‘Streisand Effect’.

    Alkon is far to pig-headed about maintaining her ignorance about internet culture to do anything like that.

  276. Iris Puma said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:08

    Is this Amy on one of her inner city classroom visits?

  277. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:08

    Tb, I’m quite sure that’s just a clever, Voltaire-like parody of Alkon’s original argument., which she’s stated she welcomes, even on her own blog. If I were her I would find it objectionable and personally offensive, but you know, as it’s really about the argument and not just spam or mean-spirited tranny-baiting, I’m sure it’ll stay there.

    On the other hand, if “DanPat” is a real guy, he’s got some serious issues.

  278. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:11

    fwiw, it does seem like she’s taken whoever’s suggestion it was to step away from the keyboard for a bit.

    Hopefully that last comment @ 5:55PM on her most recent thread will talk some sense into her, but I doubt it.

  279. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:12

    I think Calvin had a lot of very good ideas. For instance:

    Whenevere, a Playere is required to finge, he will do so with-out Complainte. Reluctanfe to finge will refult in immediate Flogginge, or being hit with a Calvin-balle.

    Any Penaltie Legiflation, may be in ye Forme of Payne, Embarrafsment, Harafsment, or other Abafement ye Ruler deems Fitte to ympofe on his Opponent. Any Penaltie Legiflatione that is not Enforced, shalle refult in an immediate and payne-fulle Flogginge.

  280. Joe Max said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:16

    Amy’s knickers are in a twist because she’s being mocked, as only Sadly-Nauts can mock.

    I believe it was Martin Luther who said, ““The devil, that proud sprite, cannot abide being mocked.” (Or it was Thomas Moore. I can never keep my Protestant theologians straight.)

    She has an ego the size and mass of a planetoid, and while that’s not necessarily a bad thing (what blogger doesn’t?), but she’s let her pride and vanity get the best of her.

    She’s not being respected and taken seriously. She can’t stand it.

  281. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:19

    In an unrelated story, it turns out that power-cycling my modem makes me a brand-new person

    The ISPs tend to not be very forthcoming with their IP pool management policies, and no generalization is ever going to be close to accurate, but in many cases, the ISPs who manage a very large pool of IPs and issue them dynamically have found that they have an easier time if they renew your DHCP lease with the same IP repeatedly. They also tend, if you are online every day, to extend the length of your DHCP lease. But typically, if you are with one of the recognizable IPs, cycling your power will result in your lease still being in effect, or with your acquiring a new lease with the same IP.

    You would be better served by opening a console window and doing a DHCP release and renew. But it’s not terribly unlikely that you will end up with the same IP. Better just to go to Starbucks or Borders. Their router’s NAT is now you. Yay!

    But these people, even the ones that know better, either think or want YOU to think that IP address can be directly sourced to individual users. This is silly unless you own the domain AND the server. It’s all such bullshit, it makes me YAWN….

    mikey

  282. Billy Joe said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:22

    Is that what they call a ‘cancan’ dress?

    Why is she always standing sideways? because she thinks if she doesn’t show us she has breasts, we’ll think she’s a man?

    This woman is very strange and trying to overcompensate for something. Like most Republicans.

  283. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:23

    I guess the vandals could just throw dog shit at the Crash McCain sign.

    I mean, you know, leave the sign up, but get it all covered in dog shit and stuff.

  284. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:24

    When I was still living at home, my parents got Road Runner in 2003. We had the same IP until maybe a year or two ago, when it changed. Then, about six months later, it changed back. My experience here has been more-or-less the same, over the handful of times we’ve had to power-cycle or otherwise reset the modem and/or router, there are one or two IPs which will always be assigned to us.

    Now, when I tether my cell phone to my laptop, that’s an entirely different story. It works the same way the old dial-up systems that we had did, where you get a new IP at every log on.

  285. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:31

    On May 19 Senator Obama proclaimed Iran to be just “a tiny country.” That’s a tiny country with seventy million people, half of it covered with mountains that you can tunnel under for your nuclear hidey holes. A half-million men in the army plus the fanatical martyrs of the Islamic Revolutionary Guard, a domestic terror apparatus to keep the people down, a growing nuclear and missile program, enough oil to finance it all, a strategic position at the head and the tiny choke-point of the Persian Gulf, a long, long imperial tradition, and an Islamofascist suicide ideology, thanks to Jimmy Carter’s good friend Ayatollah Khomeini. The regime of this tiny country had a habit of sending hundreds of young boys to blow up mine fields with their bodies, wearing green plastic “Keys to Paradise” around their necks. It controls the “Shiite Crescent” from Lebanon to the Gulf using its powerful alliance with Syria and Hezb’allah, supplied by our good friends the Russians and Chinese. The regime has a habit of blowing up American soldiers in Iraq with state-of-the-art shaped-charge explosives. Iran has performed high-altitude missile tests that could only be used to set off a nuclear EMP explosion, designed to cripple any modern nation by zapping its electrical and communication grids. It’s just a “tiny threat,” said Obama — until his staff told him that wasn’t quite right, and he quickly changed his tune.

    If George W. Bush had ever been this blind, the media would have torn him into bloody shreds by now. We’ve seen them trying for eight years.

    But the Emperor is protected from hard questions; when he blunders into them he just “uhs,” “ahs,” and stammers and stumbles. The media give him two or three guesses before he has to settle on his firm convictions — for that day — and then he flips again as soon as he feels like it.

    This is sheer, open incompetence. Even Bill Clinton is saying it. He’s right. Hell, half of the Democratic Party apparatus knows it. They aren’t fooled. They’re just hoping the rest of us stay fooled.

    Obama’s millions of immature O’bots are utterly self-deluded, but then they’re not mental heavyweights anyway. The O’bots have their eyes shut tight, because looking at the reality of their idol is just too scary.

    O’bots live in Hope and Hype; reality is not their strong suit. They just yearn to see His Imperial Majesty’s royal crown, his purple robes, his golden sceptre, his bejeweled throne. But it’s all self-hypnosis. Scratch the Obama thin veneer of hype for a second and it peels off before your very eyes.

    Don’t think the rest of the world doesn’t know it. You can bet that Ahmadinejad and Vladimir Putin are getting complete reports from some very smart spies, including professional evaluations of Barack Obama and his madcap advisors. Dictators who live by destroying every possible threat are not in the business of getting those things wrong. As soon as they get the chance, they will push and push until the Obama mirage crumbles. That’s what the Ayatollah Khomeini did to Jimmy Carter, and Jimmie is still trying to tell the world it never happened. It’s what Khrushchev and Castro did to John F. Kennedy. It’s what Kim Jong Il did to Bill Clinton and Madeleine Albright. Every Democrat president seems to attract the biggest bullies, because they can spot an easy mark a mile away.

    Just imagine what Hans Christian Andersen could do with this fairy tale. Trouble is, this story will turn into a real nightmare — as long as the news media cover up for the most unqualified candidate in history.

  286. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:33

    Now look what we’ve done – we’ve driven poor Amy into the camp of the right wingers. Oh, woe.

    The only way to make it stop is to stop pretending like you are going to win this one, because they will keep going if for no other reason than to prove to you you will not.

    Wait, this is a playground battle? This is what “progressives” stand for? Bullyish stopping of free speech. Nice.

    That’s what right wingers I know have been telling me all along, and I always ignored them and thought they were exaggerating. It seems I was wrong.

    Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 17, 2008 6:13 PM

    “That’s what right wingers I know have been telling me all along, and I always ignored them and thought they were exaggerating. It seems I was wrong.”

    Yes! Now its all worth it!

    Posted by: snakeman99 at August 17, 2008 6:27 PM

  287. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:36

    Coach Urban Meyer Says:

    …fairy tale.

    yup

  288. Pedantic Know-It-All said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:45

    (Or it was Thomas Moore. I can never keep my Protestant theologians straight.)

    Don’t know who said it, nor who Thomas Moore [sic] was, but Henry VIII’s Thomas More, the Catholic martyr, was about as far from being a “Protestant theologian” as Amy Alkon is from being a goddess of advice. Or of anything else, for that matter.

  289. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:47

    Oh Amy.

    If a little intellectual challenge drives you into Dick Cheney’s arms, well darlin, you didn’t have a long way to run.

    Enjoy your life as a sellout to the haters and war mongers.

    It does, however, occur that perhaps you’re jumping ON when pretty much everybody else is jumping OFF…

    mikey

  290. Caitlin Sith said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:48

    It was actually Dinty Moore, the radical Zwinglian who thought communion could be served as beef stew without profaning the ritual.

  291. Snorghagen said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:48

    I feel that I should point out that the acronym for Coach Urban Meyer is ‘CUM’.

  292. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:51

    What kind of a coach is terrified of a Division II team like Iran?

    Seems like he oughta go back to coach class…

    mikey

  293. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:56

    This is priceless—

    I just gotta think there’s a young FBI agent out there somewhere, just starting out, who needs a scalp in order to move up a pay grade. After all, we’re talking about identity theft here. Getting this kid would be easier than Bin Laden.

    Posted by: Crid (cridcridatgmail) at August 17, 2008 6:32 PM

  294. Amy Alkohon's pre-surgery dick said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:56

    Whateva! Whateva! I do what I want!

  295. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:58

    The fact is, I’m going to overcome my horrible defense because Tim Tebow is the true blue Reagan Democrat representing both Appalachia and the Heartland, and in addition, liberals, hmf. Heh. Indeed.

  296. Ed Marshall said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:58

    It controls the “Shiite Crescent” from Lebanon to the Gulf using its powerful alliance with Syria and Hezb’allah

    This message has been approved by Al Qaeda. Don’t be fooled by the Zionist-Persian conspiracy.

  297. owlbear1 said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:58

    Coach, you live in your own little world.

    Iran an imperialist country?
    500,000 mad dog terrorists?
    Nukes at TEH Ready?

    Holy fuck what a terrifying world you’ve dreamt up for yourself.

    I guess that what happens when the only information you accept tells you how brave you are for squealing, “KILL THEM ALLLLLLLLL”.

  298. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:59

    Simba. We need context.

    What Identity Theft?

    Did somebody end up with Amy’s credit card?

    And the FBI doesn’t have anything better to do?

    And getting bin Laden is EASY?

    Um, the seven foot freak is still out there, tough guy. Getting dialysis from your buddies…

    mikey

  299. Amy Alkon's Penis said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:00

    What’s this? An impostor, claiming to be me?

  300. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:00

    Oh I wish I were an Urban Meyer weiner
    That is what I’d truly like to be
    but I’d never be a patch on Urban weiner
    he’s the dumbest wingnut weiner you’ll ever see

  301. FuriousGeorge said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:00

    Doctorb wins the internet with the Calvinball/John Calvin mashup.

  302. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:06

    I think Urban Meyer may be some sort of parody. It’s just too over the top. I think some clever soul took advantage of the new wingnuts arriving on account of l’affair Alkon to launch a sneak parody trolling attack.

    Can we get Crid or David J on this right away? They’ll ferret out the truth, no matter what kind of shit moat surrounds the issue.

  303. owlbear1 said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:09

    yep…

  304. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:11

    Now politicians are allowed some rhetorical overkill, but this is straight into Star Wars territory. There are no real precedents for this in traditional American speechifying, and that is saying something. Obama tells his hypnotized followers that we have not been caring for the sick (false); that we have no good jobs for the jobless (false); that the rise of the oceans (which doesn’t exist) will begin to slow (false); and that our planet (which is feeling just fine, thanks) will finally begin to heal. (Also false).

    So this is pure drivel from the deep regions of fantasyland. But Obama’s brain dead followers are marching right in lockstep. They are a million Weekend at Bernie’s, with millions of flatlining Obamanites being propped up to look as if they were alive and conscious. It’s the Million Man March of the brain dead.

    This election will pit the mind-numbed robots against sensible voters. Who is the majority? That’s not clear at all at this point.

    Obama deliberately plays to the lowbrow crowd; after all, half the population has an IQ of less than 100. This hardly shows Obama’s modesty and humility of which he boasts in his first sentence. It is wild-eyed I Can Save the Planet grandiosity. This appears to be the real Obama; a Napoleonic Man of Destiny, with the zeal and certainty of a True Believer.

    Obama’s more-than-human sense of destiny may become a problem for him in the general election against down-to-earth John McCain. His vision of himself as a true revolutionary ready to save America and the world poses great risks to the Democrats, who may not be able to hide their hard-Left associations any more.

    Worst of all, Obama’s lack of humility may pose a danger to the United States if he should win. Otherworldly grandiosity and a sense of superhuman destiny do not make for sober judgment in a president. Any smart opponent — Ahmadi-Nejad or Putin — would simply play to Obama’s blatant narcissism and screw the United States, but good.

  305. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:14

    Ok, I have a different question.

    Who invented the 100m hurdles?

    This is nothing other than the “Run for your Life” Olympics.

    I mean, what else is this all about? I’m all for getting back to our most primitive roots, that’s the right solution to many of our health and sutstainability problems, but this is just wacky.

    Running as fast as you can and jumping over barriers is basically what you have to do when an enemy overruns your perimeter and you run for your life, throwing hot lead back over your shoulder, trying to find a place to take a stand, trying not to die in the meantime, trying to live without giving up more than you absolutely have to….

    I’m pretty sure this is a crappy game, and I think they should have to run with all their possessions on their backs…

    mikey

  306. zuzu's petals said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:15

    Dear Amy Alkon:

    When I see the mods at SadlyNo! tracking down and posting the IP addresses and geographic locations of, and assorted personal information about, commenters and Wiki editors who’ve crossed them, I’ll agree you have a point.

    The way it looks to me right now, is you’re the one who seems fascistic and the antithesis of what America is supposed to be about.

    I deplore what you do with plenty of my molecules, but will admit I’m nowhere near as obsessively vindictive as you.

  307. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:17

    Hey, with CUM at the head, the Gators led the conference in scoring.

    I’m sure someone will make a joke out of that, but it’s true.

  308. Coach Urban Meyer said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:19

    Yeah, too bad my secondary got their balls kicked in. I think Knowshon Moreno just scored another touchdown on my pussy team.

  309. Tim Tebow said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:19

    Barack the messiah has fallen from grace. Here he was, a “racial healer,” a hip Hypester straight from Change & Hope, hypnotizing millions of worshippers, a modern William Jennings Bryant dazzling the mobs with the image of an America crucified on a Cross of Gold. Well, recently Obama is just another shifty-eyed, moondancin’ pol from the Chicago Machine, playing the race card like Jesse Jackson, even according to The New Yorker. He makes outright deals with corruptocrat Tony Rezko to get his home cheap, and with the Teamsters to buy their election troops in exchange for Federal oversight leniency. He’s been lolling in bed with the wild-eyed zealots of ACORN for ten years or more.

    The liberal media are down on him today — but of course they’re counting on the Braindead Vote to forget all about that in November when they lift him up again, just in time for the election. They’re stuck with O’Bumbler, and he knows it.

    So Obama has been lying his head off. Can we count the ways? On Iraq, he’s was agin’ it before, but he’s for it now. On Iran, he’s was for it before, and agin’ it now. On FISA terrorist surveillance, he just voted for what the hysterical Left has convinced itself to be a Nazi attack on civil rights. On Jerusalem as the capital of Israel, he’s danced about that one half a dozen times, always ending up on a different side. But liberal Jews will still vote for him, because they hate George W. Bush more than they love reality.

    Obama is going to attack John McCain from the right, believe it or not, figuring that the Sucker Vote will fall for it. And he might be right.

    So when is Obama not lying? When you catch him unawares. He wasn’t lying in his San Francisco sneers for the white voters of Pennsylvania. He wasn’t lying when he said everybody (except Obama) should learn Spanish. He wasn’t lying when he was riffing about a jazz-based Black identity curriculum to fix all the education problems of the inner city. He wasn’t lying when he said that Iran is just a “tiny country” (it isn’t) that poses no threat to the US (it does). He was just riffin’ free like a rock guitar player in all those cases, just out of the inspiration of the moment, but he wasn’t lying.

  310. Tim (The Other One) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:19

    Before I have to go somewhere more important than this comment thread, may I just state that Buttload of Liberals is another great band name ?

  311. Lesley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:33

    “Shit Moats for McCain” would be an awesome google bomb. Too bad those are no longer possible.

  312. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:34

    Also, before Tim has to go to the potty, I have a question.

    These assclowns keep coming over here to tell us what a false, lying sack of crap Obama is.

    What? Do they think because they did that we’ll just go “oh yeah, that McCain, he’s a straight talkin honest kind of guy, think I’ll vote for him”?

    Why would anybody waste their time or energy or resources trying to convince the denizens of Sadly, No that Obama is some kind of lying thug?

    Dood. Lemme make it easy for you. Almost NONE of us are particularly enamored of Obama. But see, we really, REALLY don’t like John McCain. So until you can get some other choices in the race? You’re REALLY wasting your time…

    mikey

  313. Lloyd Carr said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:35

    Tim, Urban,

    From Chad, Jake, Mike, and most of all – myself – thanks for the going away present. It meant a lot to all of us.

  314. Chad Henne said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:37

    Easy answer, mikey: All they teach down at Florida is how to use cut ‘n paste.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment with the team shrink over how to avoid PTSD episodes when I line up against Vernon Gholston.

  315. zuzu's petals said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:37

    #

    Billy Joe said,

    August 18, 2008 at 3:22

    Is that what they call a ‘cancan’ dress?

    Why is she always standing sideways? because she thinks if she doesn’t show us she has breasts, we’ll think she’s a man?

    This woman is very strange and trying to overcompensate for something. Like most Republicans.

    Amy seems to like to talk about her breasts in inappropriate contexts and flaunt them in inappropriate places. Like police stations, when she’s trying to track down a stolen car.

    Being a girl, I find in-person visits in such situations to be quite helpful. (“Hi, I have big breasts, will you find my car?”) The first officer I spoke with, Clinton Dona, who happened to own a 1960 Rambler, was especially sympathetic. He and the officers behind the desk promised to tell the beat cops to watch for my Rambler. I felt re-energized, empowered; I was Nancy Drew! (as played by Pamela Anderson).

    http://articles.latimes.com/1999/may/02/magazine/tm-33054

    That article is pretty instructive on the workings of an narcissistic obsessive compulsive…and as an example of her budding stalking skills.

  316. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:37

    I think it’s reprehensible, the way those vets Shitmoated McCain.

  317. Litters Of Negro Children said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:37

    “Worst of all, Obama’s lack of humility may pose a danger to the United States if he should win”

    Interesting talking point.

    By posting here, have you earned your mug (the one that says “Help the filthy rich get shit-moat filthy rich by voting republican”) over at mcbush.org yet?

  318. Galactic Dustbin said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:38

    she seems pretty hostile to someone she supposedly voted for- what did Kerry ever do to her?

  319. Snarl said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:42

    Now Amy’s claiming, obscurely, to have fucked someone up:

    It’s possible a scalp has been taken, but the scalpee doesn’t know yet. More when I know. As for how much that put me out, it took me about three minutes out of my busy day on Friday.

    Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 17, 2008 7:31 PM

  320. Tim (The Other One) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:42

    “Why would anybody waste their time or energy or resources trying to convince the denizens of Sadly, No that Obama is some kind of lying thug?”

    Mikey,
    I have this exact same feeling every time I listen to talk radio. It’s like; OK, I know you’re not voting for Obama. Wait; your show lasts two more hours ? WTF ?

  321. Twisted_Colour said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:43

    Comment posted 1030am at http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/08/15/wiki_tranny.html:

    Well, guys, you know what they say – “Horses for Courses.”

    Comment deleted 1033am.

    The moral of this story – If you can’t take the heat don’t set your horse alight.

  322. ckc (not kc) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:43

    Quick – print off all your passwords and eat them!!!

  323. Lesley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:47

    Next to the McCain signs on Amy’s lawn: SCOOP FREE ZONE. DOGS WELCOME TO DO THEIR BUSINESS HERE.

  324. Twisted_Colour said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:50

    Wha……..

  325. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:52

    First line of that Alkon LA Times feature:

    Unless you’re a down-and-out drag queen with a talent for hot-wiring, your first choice of car to steal probably wouldn’t be my powder-pink 1960 Nash Rambler …

    OMFG … she really is, isn’t she?

  326. Lesley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:58

    Have you guys seen this youtube of Amy on her phone in show?
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psqRBOf0dGk

  327. Lesley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:00

    wordpress, you bitch!
    amy’s on youtube. tried to post link, wouldn’t take.

  328. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:03

    Why is she always standing sideways?

    That photo is, without question, the picture of a dude.

  329. Lesley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:04

    sneaking url in

    www youtube com /watch?v=psqRBOf0dGk

  330. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:05

    I LOVE that. I beat this dood, but he doesn’t know it yet.

    Eventually, the beating he received will become apparent to him.

    Could these idiots be any more pathetic?

    It’s like they just discovered the Intert00bz and have learned absolutely nothing from the preceding twenty years.

    I honestly don’t know whether to hate them or help them….

    mikey

  331. Blue Buddha said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:05

    ckc (not kc) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 4:43

    Quick – print off all your passwords and eat them!!!

    All my passwords are passwd123. Never felt the need to change ‘em.

    Yep.

  332. Lesley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:07

    more amy on youtube

    www youtube com/watch?v=MM41MvgkxaM

    seems bill maher has a thing for…a certain kind of gal

  333. Tim (The Other One) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:09

    It occurs to me that my “Buttload of Liberals” band name suggestion may have caused certain contributors to think that I play for the “other team”.

    Sadly, No………

  334. Amy “Hi, I have big breasts” Alkon said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:16

    Shit-moaters for truth in 2008!

  335. Hoosier X said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:19

    It’s like shooting fish in a barrel that have already been shot.

  336. Lesley said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:20

    she’s honest about one thing: her ADD. In the politically correct video she constantly interrupts other people and can’t shut up for five seconds.

  337. Jess Sayn said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:21

    Cutting & pasting James Lewis articles is pretty pathetic trolling.

  338. Smut Clyde said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:21

    It’s like shooting fish in a barrel that have already been shot as it goes over Niagara Falls.

  339. Smut Clyde said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:24

    It’s the fish’s own fault they were shot during that no-knock raid. If they had had more sense and more respect for their own lives, they would not have been living in that barrel.

  340. Gocart Mozart said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:28

    I have a question for for any of you who may be experts in the manure protection arts, and who can spare a few seconds to to help me with an issue I am having related to that field.

    I have recently come into possession of a large quantity of high grade Balinese bat guano that is currently sitting in a large unprotected pile in my back yard. I am concerned about security issues obviously since this particular grade of bat guano is presently in great demand in my neighborhood. I live in one of the preeminent horticultural centers of America, but like any town, it has its miscreants.

    I have been thinking about protecting my stash by surrounding it with campaign signs. Which would be more effective at scaring off sentient beings, McCain ’08 signs or old Bush ’04 signs?

  341. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:29

    It’s like shooting fish in a shit moat.

  342. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:30

    If you give a man a fish, he eats for one day.

    If you teach a man to shoot a fish that’s already been shot . .

    well, that man will eat a lot of lead shot and turn into an Alkon commenter.

  343. Scarf Ass said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:30

    In America, first jou get the guano, then jou get the power, then jou get the weemen.

  344. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:32

    #

    Smut Clyde said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:24

    It’s the fish’s own fault they were shot during that no-knock raid. If they had had more sense and more respect for their own lives, they would not have been living in that barrel.

    It’s worse than that, my antipodal friend. The very fact that those fish are BREEDING leaves them vulnerable to being violently killed without reason or apology. The offspring cannot be considered as righteously fish, as their fathers are all in the bait business…

    mikey

  345. Tim (The Other One) said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:33

    “I live in one of the preeminent horticultural centers of America, but like any town, it has its miscreants.”

    I believe I have a sense of your locale. I’d put that guano in baggies, and float it out into your shit moat for later retrieval as required.

  346. jim said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:39

    Wow, talk about irony at its finest – poor little Amy has been crapflooded! Someone just found out that playing Digital Judge Dredd with your blog can earn you a major case of cyberrhoids.

    The person above is probably right: this kind of troll gives not a jot for Miz Amy’s ideology – they just know a good lolcow when they see one. Unfortunately for her, the milking process may have only just begun. Get a dog, Amy. The Interwebs ARE Serious Fucking Business.

    Whom the gods would destroy they first make mad, said the sly old Greeks. The madness they were thinking of was hubris, of course, “overweening pride,” which was destined to bring forth the divine revenge of Nemesis. The Greeks believed in hubris and Nemesis because they saw a lot of egomania in their world.

    Now “Urban Meyer” should let us know how he feels about those same Greeks’ practices of slavery & pederasty – or their belief that the worst of all human evils was hope. Gosh, they were Goopers ahead of their time!

    Obama is going to attack John McCain from the right, believe it or not, figuring that the Sucker Vote will fall for it. And he might be right.

    Yeah, because America in 2008 is so starved for another big dose of rightist dreck after 8 years of Chimpocracy. What a cunning plan! Nice job of gift-wrapping your bullshit in hyperbole, by the way. Saying that OBAMA is the flip-flopper is at least funnier than most of what one sees on SNL, though that’s not saying much. So it’s safe to say that ol’ Wet-Start’s getting your vote … in terms of living dangerously, you’d make Nietzsche proud (if he wasn’t dead).

    Just imagine what Hans Christian Andersen could do with this fairy tale. Trouble is, this story will turn into a real nightmare — as long as the news media cover up for the most unqualified candidate in history.

    Who will you trust with a mandate: a Magum Cum Laude law grad who got where he is on merit, or the bottom-of-his-class PTSD victim with anger issues who got to keep flying (despite crash after crash) on the strength of having a four-star Admiral for a daddy? Your call, sunshine.

  347. zuzu's petals said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:42

    It’s worse than that, my antipodal friend. The very fact that those fish are BREEDING leaves them vulnerable to being violently killed without reason or apology. The offspring cannot be considered as righteously fish, as their fathers are all in the bait business…

    They are just squeezing out litters of guppies.

  348. Anonymous said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:45

    Excerpts from…you know:
    “But, I’m not going to let people use my support for free speech to muck up my site with nonsense comments.”

    “…people started posting comments where only a retarded child would not understand the stuff they were professing not to understand…I believe their intention was to muck up my comments.”

    “But know that I am heavy on the delete button these days, and I have always had a site that has a multiplicity of views, but I will not have the shills from SadlyNo!, a site with a comments section with a level of moronism and me-too-ism that you don’t see except perhaps on the celebrity paparazzi shot blogs, messing up my site.”

    “I may have to go to registered comments. I’m not going to let these tiny little turds stop me from speaking freely.”

    “And for anybody who’s for free speech, truly for free speech, and against vandalism, I’m with you. P.S. I pay for this site, so you get free speech here under my good graces.”

    Thanks so much for your good graces, for which we get free speech. ‘Course its not worth much after you’ve shit all over the reason for having it. “nonsense comments” are not vandalism, sir!

  349. zuzu's petals said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:45

    Trouble is, this story will turn into a real nightmare — as long as the news media cover up for the most unqualified candidate in history.

    Who’s actually held public office TWICE AS LONG as the guy you voted for in 2000.

  350. Gentlewoman said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:48

    You know, Alkon doesn’t have ‘problems with progressives or liberals hacking her blog.’ She’s got an Encyclopedia Dramatica problem, which is QUITE different. Don’t fuck with the geeks and don’t tell lies about them, Amy. They don’t like it.

    AAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS I was saying, about the OP ferchrissakes:

    Ripley is right. The whole moat story is not serious. She’s just going through the motions.

    Clyde is right. She’s not serious about the shit moat, but she got you to OVERLOOK THE FECKIN’ IDIOCY OF HER ORIGINAL PREMISE.

    I have a friend in Beverly Hills, probably one of three Republicans, who had her Vote Bush signs stolen repeatedly in the last election.

    Now, I sorta doubt that she has an actual friend in BH, but I could be wrong. What makes me think I’m not wrong, is that Alkon thinks (or pretends to think) that there are probably only three Republicans in Beverly Fucking Hills.

    Which, no, sweetie, you can gabble on about the dogshit and flounce around in that thing that looks like a hobbleskirt with a goiter all you want, no one here is buying that Republicans must wear disguises in BEVERLY HILLS, CALIFORNIA, which is where a great deal of America’s money goes to die after it lives really, really well.

  351. Gocart Mozart said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:50

    Scarf Ass said,
    August 18, 2008 at 5:30
    “In America, first jou get the guano, then jou get the power, then jou get the weemen.”

    Why do you have to bring the jous into this discussion Scarf Ass? What are you anti-semantic?

  352. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:51

    Gentlewoman! It’s good to see you!

  353. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:54

    Gentlewoman, DARLING!

    So nice to see you.

    You doing ok in the new digs?

    mikey

  354. Tom Brady said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:55

    Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment with the team shrink over how to avoid PTSD episodes when I line up against Vernon Gholston.

    Dude, why do you have to harsh my buzz?

    Next to the McCain signs on Amy’s lawn: SCOOP FREE ZONE. DOGS WELCOME TO DO THEIR BUSINESS HERE.

    SHIT HERE! SHIT NOW!

    BTW, I’m beginning to think Amy Alkon might be Jeff Godlstein’s brother.

  355. Anonyturd said,

    August 18, 2008 at 5:58

    And I’m banned. It only took a few, exceedingly polite posts to do the trick. I said nothing even remotely offensive, or even silly. And I didn’t mention turds or any turd-related products. All I did was disagree with her and a couple of posters who were defending her nonsense.

  356. Anonyturd said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:02

    I love this Crid character, who is now repetitively accusing everyone of being “the troll” or “the vandal.”

    “G-Man is the vandal too, Amy. Listen, any time you see a new name, it’s probably the vandal. Hell, anytime you see an OLD one, it’s probably the vandal.”

    We are all the vandal now.

  357. Gentlewoman said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:04

    {{{{Candy}}}}}

    {{{{mikey}}}}]

    So nice to see you both, and so kind of you to remember me!

    Yes I am all settled into the countryside, the house and garden are lovely, all the animals seem to be getting along together well, and my friends have been very good to me.

    mikey you will be happy to know that here on the farm we–I! I, GW! I have a WHOLE CLOSET FULLA GUNZ. You know, farm guns, shotguns and such, for when the fox or the fisher cat gets into the chicken house. We got rid of the elephant gun, I keep thinking we’re going to regret that at some point. We also did a rollback on the handguns as they are pretty useless on a farm.

    Have had a few health setbacks so haven’t been commenting so much, but I still read every day when I am well enough to be out of bed. Allow me to assure you that as much as MS sucks, it sucks far worse when combined with heart disease. In fact, I strongly advise against contracting either.

  358. Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:05

    Hey, this pump doesn’t work.

    OK, which one of you took the handle?

  359. Gocart Mozart said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:05

    With respect to shooting fish in a barrel, if those fish have single moms and and drug dealing dads, I say let’em die.

  360. Andy Axel said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:06

    So, these “progressives” who would tell you they’re against fascism, are tiny little fascists themselves.

    Jonah? Jonah, is that you???

  361. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:14

    #

    Doctor Missus Marita said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:05

    Hey, this pump doesn’t work.

    OK, which one of you took the handle?

    Last I heard, God stole the handle.

    And the train won’t stop going.

    No way to slow down…

    mikey

  362. Gocart Mozart said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:15

    Don’t accuse Amy of being against free speech or she will ban you.

  363. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:18

    Sorry about the health setbacks, GW. I’ll certainly try not to contract either illness; however, heart disease is probably in my future. My family is rife with it.

    How could we forget you and Lord Ganesh?

    Must go to bed soon. I’ve been looking at this Alkon train wreck most of the weekend. Ugh!

  364. Khosrau McCain, King of Kings said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:20

    I am calling for an immediate withdrawal of the Byzantine army from Vandal territory. Justinian I urgently needs to speak to General Belisarius and instruct him to observe the cease-fire. I have spoken with King Gelimer of the Vandals, and he knows that the thoughts and the prayers and support of the Persian people are with that brave little nation as they struggle today for their freedom and independence. And I told him that I know I speak for every Persian when I say to him, ‘ Today, we are all Vandals,’

  365. Jethro Tull said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:23

    Someone give Mikey a copy of Gideon’s Bible (open at page one).

  366. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:24

    Well, after leaving numerous comments over there four days ago, before this all went into the shit moat, and receiving responses from Alkon and most of her regulars – I’m banned. She deleted my first three comments and I now no longer have permission to comment there.

    And despite my predeliction for yelling PENIS, this is my actual first ever ban.

    How many comments did I make on those first two threads? It’s over nine thousand!11!!

  367. mikey said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:25

    I! I, GW! I have a WHOLE CLOSET FULLA GUNZ

    Ah, the psychic upside to a rural existence.

    The next time you’re feeling down, take one of the shotguns and a handful of number six shot 2 and three quarters out. Put a couple of bic lighters on top of fence posts (did I mention it should be dark when you undertake this therapy? yes. It should.) and bust ‘em. The noise and fire will mostly cleanse the heartache, and the joyk and conversation will make up the balance.

    Rock on, ma’am….

    mikey

  368. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:28

    I haven’t been following too closely on Shit Moat Gate, but has anyone found out if those socialists that live in Beverly Hills have done anything to deface the shit moat? Or is a trench filled with liquified dog poo that much more acceptable the GOP?

  369. zuzu's petals said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:34

    Now, I sorta doubt that she has an actual friend in BH, but I could be wrong. What makes me think I’m not wrong, is that Alkon thinks (or pretends to think) that there are probably only three Republicans in Beverly Fucking Hills.

    Easily proved:

    2608 results found, showing 1 – 50

    2004 results $5,642,794 was given by people who identified their zip as “90210″.

    $1,798,856 from 605 people to Republicans
    $3,843,938 from 1,520 people to Democrats

    Fundrace

  370. zuzu's petals said,

    August 18, 2008 at 6:35

    Meaning disproved.. or uhm, oh you know.

  371. Gocart Mozart said,

    August 18, 2008 at 7:07

    The GOP has been a trench full of dog poo for many years. The liquidification process is currently underway. I am happy to do my patriotic duty to speed it along any way I can.

  372. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 7:17

    The gated community is on its way out, to be supplanted by the shit-moated community.

  373. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 7:18

    Elitist lib-rals, watching us fall,
    They take the signs and give nothing at all
    Well it’s a dog shit shame
    But never too late for change
    So if you luck runs low
    Just reach out and call its name, its name

    Shit Moat Be There (Up and Over)

  374. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 7:19

    FYWP!!!
    Free Mumia James Ingram!

  375. Xenu said,

    August 18, 2008 at 7:31

    Free Mumia James Ingram! Isaac Hayes!

  376. Cain said,

    August 18, 2008 at 8:06

    Speaking as a (mostly) reformed troll, Alkon has most likely attracted trolls for being an unintentionally funny, overreactive, hysterical lol-cow whose site will no doubt provide so many laughs some of the trolls there may need medical attention.

    Her political opinions are only relevant insofar as they will be used to make fun of her, belittle her and wind her up. Indeed, this is central to my point.

    Also, is a shit moat covered by the 2nd Ammendment? And if not, why not? Why are liberals trying to take away our right to shit moats?

  377. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 8:53

    The shit moat really has more to do with the 1st Amendment. If you read the Federalist Papers (first draft), Jefferson envisions a “Moat of Shite between the Churche & State”.

  378. Anonyturd said,

    August 18, 2008 at 8:59

    And it just never stops…

    “I sat at the computer eating a gourmet lunch and drinking some lovely wine this afternoon. I have technology for dealing with tiny little thugs, and it’s being employed.”
    Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 17, 2008 9:28 PM

    She has technology and it is being employed.

    “And again, how do you think six children born to a single unwed mother get to the dentist?”
    Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 17, 2008 9:28 PM

    Now she’s worried about their dental health? The 14-month-old just got his finger shot off, but she’s more interested in making assumptions about whether or not the kids ever see a dentist.

  379. Anonyturd said,

    August 18, 2008 at 9:10

    Crid has put on the CSI baseball cap that he ordered from cbs.com and has posted an in-depth psychological profile of “the vandal.” This might be my favorite post yet.

    “How to recognize the vandal:

    1. New commenter name.

    2. If it’s an old commenter name, unfamiliar perspective.

    3. Very brief comment, never more than middle intelligence. Often bitter and sarcastic.

    4. Never any mention of family, romance, friends, coworkers, travel or any other life experience that nourished his opinions.

    5. If it’s longer than a sentence or two, there will be no evidence that he’s ever given the matter under discussion any thought, or spoken with anyone about it before. He’s not a persuasive guy, he’s not a sociable guy, and he’s not a political thinker. He can’t convincingly pretend to believe things he doesn’t if you read him skeptically.

    6. If it’s complete gibberish, it’s him. He’s that bored with the rest of his life… He’ll cut and paste for the hell of it.

    (7. He’s never kissed a girl. Again, his life is not about other people.)”

    Posted by: Crid [cridcridatgmail] at August 17, 2008 11:54 PM

  380. Cain said,

    August 18, 2008 at 9:12

    Doctorb said

    The shit moat really has more to do with the 1st Amendment. If you read the Federalist Papers (first draft), Jefferson envisions a “Moat of Shite between the Churche & State”.

    Hmm, you may be right. However, wasn’t there a Third Ammendment mention as well:

    No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house nor Shit Moat, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

    Also, I think Amy has decided to effectively ban all new commenters, by using her anti-spam settings. However, I have sent her an email, so we shall see…

  381. Marco said,

    August 18, 2008 at 9:23

    I have been making a shit moat around my bed to keep the visiting Sadly Trolls? out of my room, but there’s only so much coffee and and so many cigarettes a liberal can have in one night.

    Also, anyone know where I can buy Glade Plug-ins in bulk? Thanks.

  382. Fela said,

    August 18, 2008 at 9:38

    Don’ turn my shit into expensive shit.

  383. Smut Clyde said,

    August 18, 2008 at 9:45

    Jefferson envisions a “Moat of Shite between the Churche & State”.
    I read this as a foresighted premonition of the existence of Pat Robertson.

  384. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 11:37

    She was going to start college.

    Man.

  385. henry lewis said,

    August 18, 2008 at 11:45

    Does anyone else see a business opportunity?

    Beverly Hills’ only privately-operated off-leash doggy run!

    Moat in progress. Fill wanted!

    Who picks up dogshit anymore? Come to Amy’s friend’s place!

  386. Asshole said,

    August 18, 2008 at 13:29

    What’s that red-headed guy doing with Leno’s chin?

    Leno might want to build a shit moat around the rest of his facial features before some self-absorbed “advice goddess” steals his nose.

  387. NoahC said,

    August 18, 2008 at 15:39

    Maybe she can explain this one away…

    Non-Poppin’

  388. NoahC said,

    August 18, 2008 at 15:42

    Maybe she can explain this one…

    Link

    Oh,wait, it’s easy for her. Must be that he was asking for it for living with a woman with a “litter” of babies. Or maybe it’s ok, cause it’s a tough job.

  389. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 15:56

    NoahC,

    Alkon acknowledges that no-knock raids are wrong – she thinks the Lima PD made a big mistake sending a SWAT Team into a house with children in it (just that that’s a much smaller issue than how single motherhood is killing us all).

    Does this totally undermine her point that Tarika Wilson “put her kids in danger” because the danger of being randomly shot by police was unreasonable? Umm, I tried to get her to address that for hours, but she obstinately refused. I was kinda surprised since she did cop to the belief that it was more important to bad-mouth the dead woman than to say anything about the actions of the police.

  390. ceabaird said,

    August 18, 2008 at 16:13

    “She has a dog with a head the size of Lucy, which puts out a rather large quantity of excrement every day. “

    Soooo… either it’s the dog’s head, or Lucy, which pumps out shit every day. Must be a pooper-doberman. Either way, I wouldn’t be letting it, or Lucy, into the house.

  391. PROTIP said,

    August 18, 2008 at 16:53

    So, like, that new post with the screenshot. Did she use a camera to take that “screenshot”? el oh el

  392. D. Aristophanes said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:04

    Teh Ol’ Perfesser’s weighed in:

    http://www.pajamasmedia.com/instapundit/archives2/023041.php

    He links to Mrs. Ol’ Perfesser, who engages in some congratulatory ‘we’re so for free speechifyin’ with Amy, then to Jonah’s shitty book. Woot!

  393. Susan of Texas said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:12

    That’s hysterical! Who knew Helen could be the victim of passive-aggressive behavior designed to make her stroke the ego of a nutcase?

  394. commie atheist said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:23

    Hey! That’s my house!

  395. commie atheist said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:27

    Francis W. Porretto said…
    Uh, no. But fascists have always done their best to shout down the opposition at the very least (“The Fascists cannot argue, so they kill.” — Victor Marguerite), and “progressive” fascists are no different in this regard. The rest of us simply have to cope.

    Damn straight! I myself have killed dozens of people who dared to oppose my leftish views! Come clean, comrades – how many patriotic Americans have you killed today? None? Then you’re not trying hard enough.

  396. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:28

    Still banned. Or “dropkicked into the spam filter”. Anyways, here’s what I tried to say over there:

    Interesting that you have a post about the founding fathers and their defending your choice of words for denouncing large families.

    Thomas Jefferson: six kids by his wife from 1772 to 1782, six more by Sally Hemmings.

    Alexander Hamilton: eight children from 1792 to 1802. Who knows how much larger his litter would have been if he hadn’t got himself shot two years later.

    Samuel Adams (from Wikipedia):
    In September of the following year, Elizabeth gave birth to a son named Samuel, but the infant died only eighteen days after birth. On October 16, 1751, Elizabeth again gave birth to a son they also named Samuel. Fortunately, there were no health issues with the child. Another son named Joseph was born just two years later, but he died the following day. Exactly a year after Joseph’s birth, Elizabeth gave birth to the couple’s first daughter, Mary. Mary lived for only three months and nine days. Another daughter, Samantha, was born eighteen months later, and stayed healthy. In July 1757, Elizabeth became ill after giving birth to a stillborn son. She died on July 25, 1757 at the age of thirty-two.

    Six pregnancies in eight years – and clearly the Adams’ were bad at caring for kids since only two of them survived childhood. I look forward to your future denunciation of Samuel Adams and his poor parenting choices.

  397. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:38

    Thomas Jefferson: six kids by his wife from 1772 to 1782, six more by Sally Hemmings.

    Given Alkon’s philosophy Sally Hemmings would be central to her point. An unmarried black woman with six kids? What was she thinking?

    I despise Amy Alkon. I really do.

  398. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:44

    Jefferson was a hemp grower.

  399. Amy Alkon's Id said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:52

    Jefferson was a hemp grower.

    That’s why us glibertarians love him!

  400. J Neo Marvin said,

    August 18, 2008 at 17:59

    What baffles me most is the “head the size of Lucy” reference. Who the hell is Lucy and why is she being compared to a dog’s head?

  401. Bas-O-Matic said,

    August 18, 2008 at 18:02

    I do think the lovely Ms. Alkon is far more interested in nursing her greivances than understanding what’s happening to her. The people crapflooding her comments could care less about what she’s trying to say. They just want to see how long they can make her spin like a top into ever more glorious heights of outrage.

    Anyway. I thought I remembered Alkon from somewhere other than a crappy advice column sitting amongst the strip club ads in the back of the local alt weekly.

    Well, here’s Amy Alkon, heroine of free speech, reacting to her more civilized bretheren on the left stalking a 12 year old kid for getting health care:

    If you can’t afford to support four children, including paying for health care for them, you should have two or one. I don’t own a building (or buildings) or have children I send to a tony private school (a neeeeeed?). I do pay for Kaiser HMO every month, and have for about 20 years, so if I get sick, my treatment doesn’t come out of the pockets of others. If you think it’s okay to fund others’ lives, come over to advicegoddess.com and put $500 in my tip jar. Thanks

    and

    I CHOOSE to be in an HMO — it’s a program that spreads cost around. If something happens to me, because I have my health care covered (and did, even when I couldn’t afford a bed), you don’t have to pay for me.

    Sound it out: “Per-son-al Re-spon-si-bil-i-tee.”

    Here’s the right idea, from one of my commenters:

    one of the things that keeps me shackled to a 9-5 job with a “real company” is precisely the health care that I am legally required (and want) to provide to my kids.
    I’m sure he, too, would rather be a self-employed woodcarver. Entrepreneurial risk is for those who don’t have mouths to feed. Or the unethical.

    And hey, be sure to throw me some of your hard-earned cash.

    I understand all-too-well how things work. Mooches risk their kids’ health and then stick their hands out when their gamble doesn’t work out so well.

    She’s your pretty basic randroidian narcissist.

  402. Bas-O-Matic said,

    August 18, 2008 at 18:03

    Make that more civilized bretheren on the right.

  403. Sir Craig said,

    August 18, 2008 at 18:12

    I just read Alkon’s latest screed, and I would have to say the comments over the weekend have definitely made an impression on her – she has become completely unhinged. It’s like watching someone beginning to suffer from PTSD: She has most likely had very few comments in the past (I mean, seriously, who would seek ‘advice’ from a woman who is clearly THAT judgmental, other than your typical Dr. Laura masochist?), and when she’s suddenly faced with a rather large onslaught of negative comments because of a rather dim and uninformed opinion piece she steadfastly refuses to acknowledge MIGHT have been misdirected, her comfortable little world immediately comes crashing down.

    Reviewing the latest comments, it is clear than anyone whose view does not toe her line is immediately deleted; she has circled the sycophantic wagons in a desperate attempt to re-establish herself as ‘meaningful’ again. And as tempted as I was to comment and try to bring her back to reality, it was then I realized that what was once fun is now just kind of sad and embarrassing. The poor dear is reduced to creating imaginary friends who will back up her claims that she has discovered the true identity of Gary Ruppert; thinks nothing of placing dogshit ponds in the middle of Beverly Hills properties for the sole purpose of defending a Bush/Cheney sign; throws the ‘fascist’ label around with the same frequency and accuracy as Jonah Goldberg; thinks pulling a “Katherine Harris meets Alan Colmes” stunt in an effort to find her stolen Rambler is the height of investigative prowess; and generally making herself look like a total tool by coming up with a First Amendment column without noting the irony of her deleting comments that disagree with her. (“…[B]ut I am shocked by any effort to silence speech.” Really. She typed that with a straight face.)

    Again, it’s just sad and embarrassing. She needs to step away from the computer for a while and reflect on what it means to be a sane human being…

  404. jim said,

    August 18, 2008 at 18:19

    404th in epic-type thread!
    Vootie!

  405. jim said,

    August 18, 2008 at 18:31

    Oh, & if I’m a shill who’s being ordered to go on the rampage here, I’d better be seeing both worthy remunerative yumyums & subsequent commands, pronto. Do we fill the Ron Paul blimp with hydrogen & reenact the Hindenburg tragedy on her back-yard? Sneak boxer-shorts into her wash at the laundromat? Call her poopyhead? Got to keep the troops happy & orderly you know, old man — won’t do to have Jerry catch us with our drawers down, eh wot???

  406. justme said,

    August 18, 2008 at 18:54

    Could be on the hope that shit will attract images of GWB. Sort of like this.

    Now we need them with McCain on ‘em.

  407. Cain said,

    August 18, 2008 at 19:07

    While I am probably going to hell for this, I have started to email Amy some of my inane fiction, where I am a private eye and she has tasked me with tracking down the elusive Gary Ruppert, international wingnut of mystery.

    Link

  408. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 19:22

    Cain, that rocked! Let us know if she replies.

  409. Amy's Friend's B.H. Neighbor said,

    August 18, 2008 at 19:43

    This place has sure gone to the dogs! What a dump!

    Just look at that ugly crap on the lawn. That’s disgusting! And that moat thing isn’t very nice either!

  410. Interrobang said,

    August 18, 2008 at 19:55

    I CHOOSE to live in a country with single-payer health care. It’s a program that spreads cost around. If something happens to me, everyone pays for me, just like I pay for everyone else. Single-payer healthcare is one of the things that prevents me from being shackled to a 9-5 job that I hate and am miserable at, which in turn prevents me from becoming a nasty glibertarian asshole who feels duty-bound to make sure everyone else is just as miserable as I am. It also lets everyone have a shot at entrepreneurial risk, regardless of whether they have kids to take care of, which is probably why my city is one of the best places in the country for small business, and why my country’s economy isn’t in the shitter, despite being tied to the US’ economy around the neck…

    Gosh, this is fun. I fixed yer typos, Amy!

  411. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 19:56

    I know it’s wrong, but “shit moat” still cracks me up.

  412. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 20:03

    Ya rly, although that discussion was a while back, I still feel like it’s worth addressing some of the stupid-ass things people said about what terrible parents these people were for not taking on jobs they would hate and didn’t need.

  413. The Klute said,

    August 18, 2008 at 20:05

    And I’m banned! Awesome.

  414. Susan of Texas said,

    August 18, 2008 at 20:15

    She sure showed you that noobody can crush freedom of speech!

  415. Cain said,

    August 18, 2008 at 20:30

    I think I upset her or something:

    http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2008/08/18/so_pathetic_so.html

  416. Susan of Texas said,

    August 18, 2008 at 20:46

    You probably made her even happier. She seems to love a good rageasm.

  417. Bas-O-Matic said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:16

    I think I was more pointing out that, in the face of Michelle Malkin actually, you know, stalking the Frosts, Alkon’s response was basically to, again, blame the victim for having the temerity to be an entrepeneur which is only for people like her who have made her choices to be like her. Or something.

    So, Alkon is quite aware of how low the right can sink. It just that it was the victims fault in that instance.

    Something tells me that if she were pulled over for speeding and were the victim of police brutality it would be the worst instance of poilice over reach evar and not at all because she was engaging in risky behavior.

    But that’s just a guess.

  418. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:20

    Anyone with half a brain in her head would just ignore an emailed story from someone who is obviously attempting to poke her with a stick. Instead, she actually writes a post about it complete with a quote of your entire chapter. She is truly dumber than dirt.

  419. EnfantTerrible said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:20

    Here’s my humble contribution to the latest comment thread:

    That’s some insightful comparison there, Jerry. I had NO IDEA that hijacking airplanes was such a terrible thing to do until you compared to pointing out a writer’s racism and having a good laugh at her expense.

    Let’s see how long that stays up.

  420. Anonyturd said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:21

    So I guess when she said that she had technology and was employing it, that meant that she was banning anyone and everyone who doesn’t agree with her, and then blocking anyone new from posting.

    I love how the regular posters are now claiming that she scared all the evildoers away, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she’s just blocking everyone out as she fantasizes about how her free speech rights are being trampled.

  421. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:23

    I love how the regular posters are now claiming that she scared all the evildoers away, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she’s just blocking everyone out as she fantasizes about how her free speech rights are being trampled.

    And that will work out fine for her because as dumb as she is, her commentariat is even dumber.

  422. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:24

    And that will work out fine for her because as dumb as she is, her commentariat is even dumber.

    I really wish Brian had visited.

  423. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:28

    FYWP

  424. Cain said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:31

    Candy,

    I do not think she is aware of a very old internet tradition.

    However, that just makes this all more fun. Now, I must go back to the blog-cave, and plot…

  425. Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:37

    Yes, It would have been fun to bat Brian’s head around some more. He doesn’t grasp that whole “in a hole, stop digging” thing any more than Amy does.

  426. Bas-O-Matic said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:52

    Candy said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:20

    Anyone with half a brain in her head would just ignore an emailed story from someone who is obviously attempting to poke her with a stick. Instead, she actually writes a post about it complete with a quote of your entire chapter. She is truly dumber than dirt.

    Then she wouldn’t have been able to totally put him in his place by saying how, well, duh, he’s obviously obssessed with her. because you know, spending a whole weekend talking about how your free speech is being trampled by trolls crapflooding your comments is totally not obssessive.

  427. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:57

    Okay, here goes again. ckc pointed out the GlennSacks thread about this and I’ve set up shop over there – my trade in stock? Wingnut beatdowns. Link to follow – in case “you know who” decides it’s not kosher.

    Here’s my interesting observation: There’s more misogyny at the AdviceGodess’ than there is at the men’s rights site. I hope Amy Alkon is proud of that.

  428. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 21:58

    Ladies and Gents, I present to you Glenn Sacks.

  429. Anonyturd said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:01

    Thought this was pretty funny. She revised her “I have technology” to include a gratuitous bit of of self-congratulatory nonsense.

    “I sat at the computer eating a gourmet lunch and drinking some lovely wine this afternoon, and then went out to try to help at a traffic accident in my neighborhood. I have technology for dealing with tiny little thugs, and it’s being employed.”

    This is what it said the first time:

    ““I sat at the computer eating a gourmet lunch and drinking some lovely wine this afternoon. I have technology for dealing with tiny little thugs, and it’s being employed.”
    Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 17, 2008 9:28 PM”

    Hopefully she’ll update with a line about how she tried to help some kittens out of a tree after having petit fours and a delightful glass of sherry.

  430. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:23

    Cain, I think this stuff is all going into her next book. It’ll be a great read …

    The Bibles were all defective. Almost half the texts of both the Old and New Testaments were missing. So in order to give the holy books the bulk and heft they needed to make them seem complete, the company I worked for had simply added pages from old technical manuals, diagrams from textbooks, transparency overlays of electrical circuits, magazine articles, pages from the personals in newspapers, passages of pornography, and ads for escort services.

    (From Joe Frank’s “Bible Salesman”)

  431. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:38

    Huh, Glenn Sacks is urging readers to go to Amy’s blog and join the comments thread.

  432. comsympinko said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:47

    Hey everybody! Was away for the weekend and was wondering if I missed…

    …anything…

    …oh.

    I see.

    We’re talking about dogshit moats. Gotcha.

    Really? Dogshit moats?

    Wow. That’s gotta be some kind of all-time low.

    And 430 comments. About dogshit moats.

    It’s a great day to be alive.

  433. Athenawise said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:48

    It’s no coincidence that Hedda Lettuce, the noted drag queen, is running for president in 2008. Amy is just jealous.

  434. Dogshit Moat Salesman, Dogshit Moat Sales, Inc. said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:49

    Election season really is the best time for business.

  435. Flame War Meter said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:50

    11.

  436. mdh said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:57

    Remember when Gary Rupert wasn’t a caricature? Where are the halcyon days of Doc BLT?

    Who cares!? Shit moat Renaissance! Down With Amy! Long Live Amy!

  437. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 18, 2008 at 22:58

    Election season really is the best time for business.

    That sounds suspiciously like supply-side economics.

  438. Simba B said,

    August 18, 2008 at 23:08

    And I did send him the spam text. Anyone else wants a copy, please e-mail me, although it’s some college Marxist crap or something. Didn’t actually bother to read it.

    Uh, I’m pretty sure she got hoodwinked again.

  439. Dogshit Moat Salesman, Dogshit Moat Sales, Inc. said,

    August 18, 2008 at 23:21

    “That sounds suspiciously like supply-side economics.”

    Bingo. By November there’ll be enough dogshit moats that you’ll need wings to stay above them.

  440. Doctorb said,

    August 18, 2008 at 23:31

    Comsympinko, maybe it’s the 32 milligrams of Dilaudid, but that dog-shit moat story was the perfect metaphor for … well, for something. I think that “dig a dog shit moat” should replace “cut off your nose to spite your face” in all future writing.

    Plus the real estate listings were a bit of inspired comedy gold. And Amy Alkon is the gift that keeps on giving.

  441. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 18, 2008 at 23:44

    Remember when Gary Rupert wasn’t a caricature?

    Uhhh…

  442. Amy Alkon's Testicles said,

    August 18, 2008 at 23:46

    I keep returning to this thread like a dog to its own shit moat.

    How is it that the actual substantive discussion that she refused to entertain is now being hosted on a right-wing misogynist’s blog?

    Could we have found a bottomless fount of comedy?

  443. Johnny Pez said,

    August 19, 2008 at 0:00

    Glenn Sacks is urging readers to go to Amy’s blog and join the comments thread.

    Nothing good can come of this.

  444. Simba B said,

    August 19, 2008 at 0:21

    Wow. She’s posting the IP address of literally anyone who a) doesn’t come from a proxy, and b) doesn’t suck up to her. Someone named “bayville” (a pseudonym I’ve seen here before) left a fairly harmless comment asking her to get back to dispensing advice (because their funnybone needs a fix) and not but 15 minutes later Amy posted their IP and WHOIS info in the comments.

    Just be careful commenting over there, s’all. She also posted the IP of whoever does the “Malfunctioning Robot” bit, evidently her and Glenn Sacks are sharing info. Jesus Christ tits on a cracker, be careful people. This woman is insane.

  445. Malfunctioning Amy Alkon Robot 2.0 said,

    August 19, 2008 at 0:39

    I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot. I attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public. Was the reason our founding fathers fought for free speech really so tiny little thugs who call themselves “progressives” can foil any possibility of it on the websites of anyone whose speech they disagree with? Or maybe they’ve had six gin and tonics, and they’re too drunk to come up with a fake number, so they give you their real one, and deal with it later: “I’ll change my number, I’ll move…or maybe just turn off the lights and lay on the floor.” It seems you’re a lesbian, not a “lesbian” who takes vacations — hopping the ferry from the Isle of Lesbos to the mainland for the occasional hetero holiday. I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot. I attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public. Was the reason our founding fathers fought for free speech really so tiny little thugs who call themselves “progressives” can foil any possibility of it on the websites of anyone whose speech they disagree with? Or maybe they’ve had six gin and tonics, and they’re too drunk to come up with a fake number, so they give you their real one, and deal with it later: “I’ll change my number, I’ll move…or maybe just turn off the lights and lay on the floor.” It seems you’re a lesbian, not a “lesbian” who takes vacations — hopping the ferry from the Isle of Lesbos to the mainland for the occasional hetero holiday. I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot. I attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public. Was the reason our founding fathers fought for free speech really so tiny little thugs who call themselves “progressives” can foil any possibility of it on the websites of anyone whose speech they disagree with? Or maybe they’ve had six gin and tonics, and they’re too drunk to come up with a fake number, so they give you their real one, and deal with it later: “I’ll change my number, I’ll move…or maybe just turn off the lights and lay on the floor.” It seems you’re a lesbian, not a “lesbian” who takes vacations — hopping the ferry from the Isle of Lesbos to the mainland for the occasional hetero holiday. I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot. I attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public. Was the reason our founding fathers fought for free speech really so tiny little thugs who call themselves “progressives” can foil any possibility of it on the websites of anyone whose speech they disagree with? Or maybe they’ve had six gin and tonics, and they’re too drunk to come up with a fake number, so they give you their real one, and deal with it later: “I’ll change my number, I’ll move…or maybe just turn off the lights and lay on the floor.” It seems you’re a lesbian, not a “lesbian” who takes vacations — hopping the ferry from the Isle of Lesbos to the mainland for the occasional hetero holiday. I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot. I attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public. Was the reason our founding fathers fought for free speech really so tiny little thugs who call themselves “progressives” can foil any possibility of it on the websites of anyone whose speech they disagree with? Or maybe they’ve had six gin and tonics, and they’re too drunk to come up with a fake number, so they give you their real one, and deal with it later: “I’ll change my number, I’ll move…or maybe just turn off the lights and lay on the floor.” It seems you’re a lesbian, not a “lesbian” who takes vacations — hopping the ferry from the Isle of Lesbos to the mainland for the occasional hetero holiday. I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot. I attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public. Was the reason our founding fathers fought for free speech really so tiny little thugs who call themselves “progressives” can foil any possibility of it on the websites of anyone whose speech they disagree with? Or maybe they’ve had six gin and tonics, and they’re too drunk to come up with a fake number, so they give you their real one, and deal with it later: “I’ll change my number, I’ll move…or maybe just turn off the lights and lay on the floor.” It seems you’re a lesbian, not a “lesbian” who takes vacations — hopping the ferry from the Isle of Lesbos to the mainland for the occasional hetero holiday. I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot. I attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public. Was the reason our founding fathers fought for free speech really so tiny little thugs who call themselves “progressives” can foil any possibility of it on the websites of anyone whose speech they disagree with? Or maybe they’ve had six gin and tonics, and they’re too drunk to come up with a fake number, so they give you their real one, and deal with it later: “I’ll change my number, I’ll move…or maybe just turn off the lights and lay on the floor.” It seems you’re a lesbian, not a “lesbian” who takes vacations — hopping the ferry from the Isle of Lesbos to the mainland for the occasional hetero holiday. I, Amy Alkon, accused bigot. I attempt to humanize crossdressers in the eyes of the general public. Was the reason our founding fathers fought for free speech really so tiny little thugs who call themselves “progressives” can foil any possibility of it on the websites of anyone whose speech they disagree with? Or maybe they’ve had six gin and tonics, and they’re too drunk to come up with a fake number, so they give you their real one, and deal with it later: “I’ll change my number, I’ll move…or maybe just turn off the lights and lay on the floor.” It seems you’re a lesbian, not a “lesbian” who takes vacations — hopping the ferry from the Isle of Lesbos to the mainland for the occasional hetero holiday.

  446. Doctorb said,

    August 19, 2008 at 0:48

    Oh noes, a long and contentless blog comment! Help, help, I’m being repressed! Fascists! Nazis! This is exactly the same thing as force-feeding me castor oil until I shit myself to death! I’m an inspiring person because I can stand up to it. Basically, I am better than Gandhi riding on Jesus, plus Jesus has laser beam vision.

  447. smut clyde said,

    August 19, 2008 at 1:18

    Back in 1908, Gustav Meyrink wrote the short story “Just what purpose do white dog stools actually serve?” At last we know.

    Bonus extract from story:
    I looked in my encyclopaedia under D, under E, under W, under S — in vain.
    It would have been ridiculous to question my disabled soldier. He would be the last to reveal the secret. So I wrote to the Ministry of Public Instruction.
    I received no answer!
    I went to a lecture given by a famous speaker and when the public was invited to write their questions on slips of paper, I also handed in mine. But as it came into his hands, he screwed it up and left the hall in indignation.
    I could not find the office responsible at the town hall and was not admittd to see the mayor.
    “You stick them on the ceiling in staterooms and then it’s called ‘stucco’,” a cynic scoffed.
    …..

  448. Amy Alkon's Testicles said,

    August 19, 2008 at 2:02

    She is completely around the bend.

    Should I do what she already thinks is being done to her?

    Should I call in my Personal Army? They live for this.

    She hasn’t been even mildly trolled yet.

  449. Dragon-King Wangchuck said,

    August 19, 2008 at 3:45

    Basically, I am better than Gandhi riding on Jesus, plus Jesus has laser beam vision.

    That is fucking AWESUM. I wish more of my comments could end in “plus Jesus has laser beam vision”.

  450. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 21, 2008 at 6:15

    Song for Lucy

    Marcellus:
    Well a woman who’ll shit on the very first date
    Is usually a hussy.
    And a woman who’ll shit on the second time out
    Is anything but fussy.
    But a woman who waits ’til the third time around,
    Head ‘tween her hands, feet crossed on the ground!
    She’s the girl he’s glad he’s found–she’s his
    Shit-Poo-Pee! Shit-Poo-Pee! Shit-Poo-Pee! Shit-Poo-Pee!

    Boys:
    The girl who’s hard to get!

    Marcellus:
    Shit-Poo-Pee!
    Shit-Poo-Pee
    Shit-Poo-Pee

    Girls:
    But you can win her yet.

    Marcellus::
    Walk her once just to raise the curtain,
    Walk around twice and you make for certain.
    Once more in the flower garden,
    She will never get sore
    If you beg her pardon.

    All:
    Do re me fa so la si
    Do si la sol fa mi re do

    Marcellus:
    Squeeze it out once when she isn’t lookin’,
    If she a squeezes back, that’s fancy cookin’,
    Once more for a pepper-upper,
    She will never get sore on her way to supper.

  451. Susan said,

    August 31, 2008 at 20:48

    Now he comes over to tell us he has to go. In multiple threads. Once again, EEewwww.

    He was obviously desperately needed at Shit Moat 90210. I wonder what our now-infamous McPain lover did when her sign fell over into the Shit Moat? (And it did, believe me, it did. Liquified dog shit notoriously oversaturates L.A.’s sandy soil and turns it into quicksand.)(Don’t ask.) Amy should have had more pictures.

  452. Shitmoat said,

    June 3, 2009 at 20:56

    This is the first reference to shit moat EVAH!

    gocart mozart said,

    August 17, 2008 at 0:58

    Her friend “has a dog with a head the size of Lucy” and said dog shits a lot so she made a moat of dog shit around her McCain sign so be warned Sadly Noers, don’t steal McCain signs or at least check for dog shit moats first as a precaution. Word to the wise and all that.

  453. TBogg » Hey you two kids! Get a room…. said,

    October 11, 2009 at 23:48

    [...] repulsive if not downright squicky, but there is one in every crowd which brings us to Amy Alkon, home security consultant and self-described Advice Goddess who gives Prager two thumbs up (the butt) for his observations : [...]

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