We’ve learned much from Amy Alkon these past few days that is startling, perverse and downright hi-larious — starting with the notion that poor black women who get shot and killed by the cops value black lives less than white cops who shoot and kill poor black women, and working our way through to the revelation that the individual known as the Sadly, No! commentariat-slash-management-slash-Gary Ruppert pre-emptively hacks the Wikipedia pages of wingnuts before being aware of their existence.
All wonderful stuff, and now this (scroll down to Amy’s comment at 6:46 AM):
I have a friend in Beverly Hills, probably one of three Republicans, who had her Vote Bush signs stolen repeatedly in the last election. I did not vote for Bush; I voted for that sleazebag Kerry, but I am shocked by any effort to silence speech, and in the current election, I’m going to help her catch the people who will surely steal her McCain signs. P.S. She’s no dope. She has a dog with a head the size of Lucy, which puts out a rather large quantity of excrement every day. In the past, she watered it down in a bucket and made a rather large moat around the sign. So … if they got away with their signs, there was still the bill for new car carpeting, I suppose, and I just love that.
A dope? Perish the thought! Building a moat of runny dog shit on your own property? Not. Dopey. At. All. In fact, the smart set are all doing it. Shit moats are the new kitchen remodels after all, as evidenced by these real estate ads we just came across on Craigslist:
$1250000 OPEN SUN 1-4 NEW BEACH HOUSE (santa cruz) (map)
Reply to: email@example.com
Date: 2008-08-17, 9:27AM PDT
New 3 BdRm, 2.5 Ba, 1650 sq ft just 2.5 blocks from Twin Lakes Beach and Crow’s Nest area. Quality built for owner’s personal use. Travertina stone floors, slab granite counters, maple cabinets and landscaped front & rear w/enormous moat of dog shit surrounding property. Turnkey and summer rental zone!
XXXXXX XXXXXX Realtor 831-XXX-XXXX; 831-XXX-XXXX
$284000 JUST REDUCED BY $100,000! WOW!! (danville / san ramon)
Would you like to see this totally upgraded Canyon Crest beauty behind the gates with your own Security Guard?
Recently Installed upgrades include:
Stainless Steel Appliances
Natural Stone flooring
Terra Cotta Shit Moat
Two-tone Designer Paint
If yes call XXXXXX for information @ (925) XXX-XXXX.
DRAMATIC COASTAL ESTATE (aptos)
Aptos Hills California
Villa Rosa is an Awe Inspiring Coastal Estate Perched on an 8-Acre Oak Studded Bay View Knoll just Minutes to Seascape Beach. Spacious 4850 square foot, 4 Bedroom, 3.5 Bath, and 3 Car Custom Estate with Elegant Shit Moat for Formal Living, Family & Dining rooms. Built on 110 Concrete Caissons, the product of Cove Britton, renowned Local Architect of Britton & Matson Architects. It’s Proximity to the Coast, Architectural Majesty, Neighborhood Consistency, Prime Private Access, Bay Views and Useable Acreage is an Unparalleled Combo in Santa Cruz.
The French Normandy Estate incorporates Traditional Style & Materials with Modern Luxury & Conveniences. Extensive Exterior attention to details featuring Stone Columns, Architectural Appliques, Trims and Crowns lead to an Elegant Simplistic Interior use of Space, Views and Environment. The home features Massive Rooms with Vaulted 18′ Ceilings & Bayviews, Three Fireplaces, Two Air Conditioning Systems, Two Vacuum Systems, Two Heating Systems, Two Circulating Instant Water Heaters, and Stereo Speakers throughout.
Enter through Dual 8′ Custom Maghony Wood Doors with Beveled Glass Panes into the Centralized Entry with Massive Vaulted Ceilings. Gaze upon the Private Courtyard through Custom Wood Windows. Step down the Curved Custom Staircase leading to the Formal Dining and Living Rooms each with 18′ Vaulted Ceiling and Full Bay Views. Lower level has Kitchen, Dining, and Family Rooms with Oak Hardwood Floors and Bay Views.
The living spaces are separated for Entertaining and Adult Privacy with the Upper Level Master Suite, Cherry Wood Office with Green Marble Fireplace and a separate Guest Suite at one end of the residence. The Master Suite features His/Hers separate Bath Prep Areas, Private Latrine with Bidet, a Sumptuous Dual Soaking Tub with Jacuzzi Jets, and Walk-in Closet. All surfaces are Ralph Loren Green Marble & Solid Brass Fixtures.
The Children’s Bedrooms and Bath are located above the Kitchen, Family & Breakfast areas at the other end. The Kitchen has white painted cabinet with granite countertops, large Dual Islands, Dual Ovens, Multi- Burner Gas Cooktop, and Stainless Appliances. All rooms have Full Bay & Mountain Views. The Entry and Family Rooms also have Serene Private Courtyard Views.
Traditional Shit Moat in the Tuscany Style was installed in 2006 by regionally Renowned landscapers Bilge & Sons. Pungent blend of Eight Varieties of finest organic Canine Excrement replenished yearly through Existing Contract with local Small Kennel Owners Association. Two-car-wide maple/wrought iron Drawbridge lowers by imported Swiss Hand Winch to Access Road; alternatively, four sets of Rubber Waders kept in Small Rustic Shed maintained near Back of Property abutting encroaching stand of Coastal Redwoods.
At 600′ Elevation & Two miles from Seascape Beach this Aptos Hills 8-Acre Parcel is Thee Prime Parcel and one of 4 parcels in an exclusive 5 to 24 acre lot Private Subdivision. The South Facing Orientation features all day Sunrise to Sunset Orientation, Views of the Monterey Bay and across to the Monterey Peninsula and Mountains. The weather is warm and the nearby mountains protect this parcel from most Coastal wind. The Courtyard is northeast facing, cooler and breathlessly protected from evening breezes. The lower flat 3+-Acre Meadow is open to many uses and easily cleared.
Underground Utilities, Private shared Well & Full PGE Services enhance the Refined Nature of this Estate. Private Road is maintained by long-term cell tower income from the undeveloped 24-acre parcel. Minutes to Seascape Beach & Regional Shopping Centers North or South.
Construction took the original owner three years to complete and in 1999 sold for $1,265,000. The new owner then spent $250,000 completing & developing a French drainage system, developed the Courtyard with Upper & Lower Brick Patios, extensive Landscaping & Irrigation. In addition to the 8-Acre Parcel, a 1/4 interest in an additional 20-Acre Common Area is included. The acreage is all zoned 2.5-Acre minimums for potentially creative additional development possibilities.
Owner Agent will Finance to Qualified Buyer with Substantial Cash Down Payment. Will Trade for Local or Incline Village Property. New carpet and paint to taste.
One of the Finest Coastal Estate Properties in Santa Cruz County.
Price Upon Request
Call XXXXXX XXXXXXX Owner/Realtor 831-XXX-XXXX; 831-XXX-XXXX; 831-XXX-XXXX for info