15
The “Lady” Doth Protest Too Much, Methinks
Poor Amy Alkon. You remember her, the so-called Advice Goddess, who thinks that it’s not racist to talk about litters of black babies because she once talked about a litter of white Mormon babies. Well, Amy now has her falsies in a fix because someone — not any of us here at Sadly, No!, by the way — vandalized improved her Wikipedia entry to identify Amy as a male-to-female transexual.
In order to rebut all lingering doubts about her original gender assignment, Amy posted a picture of herself purporting to prove that she isn’t a transexual, although we’re not clear how the posted picture, or any picture for that matter, could provide such proof. We submitted the picture to our Fauxtography Department and discovered that the picture Amy posted is clearly an amateurish photoshop of a male transvestite. Here is the original photograph of “Amy” prior to its crude alteration to remove an Adam’s Apple and to conceal evidence of toilet-paper falling from his brassiere:
Lest anyone think that I’m prejudiced against drag queens, you should know that once a month I speak to an inner-city class of drag queens in order to try to convince them that a life devoted to mascara, eyeliner, wigs, feather boas and false boobies is a waste of their full potential. And those of you who haven’t done the same: It’s YOU who are prejudiced.
UPDATE: In the comments to the Amy’s transvestite post, she accuses Gavin of being the culprit. Gavin then leaves a comment saying that the likely culprit was Gary Ruppert. Then we have this from Amy:
Pure. Unalloyed. Comedy. Gold.
UPDATE 2: And it just keeps getting better:
There are three possible explanations for this: (1) Amy justs makes shit up; (2) Amy is stark raving mad and lives in a complex and variegated world populated by imaginary people and other detailed aural and visual hallucinations; (3) Amy is being played like a violin by someone who finds it amusing, as we do, to humiliate her. Oh, and Amy, when you read this, another Internet tradition (like Gary Ruppert) is to enclose quotes with the blockquote tag.
Kathleen said,
August 15, 2008 at 20:47
don’t forget those times you have told straight men that their adam’s apples are too prominent, Clif.
Jacob Singer said,
August 15, 2008 at 20:48
What kind of pose is that? Is the that the flare right before the wheels touchdown?
Malaclypse said,
August 15, 2008 at 20:52
Cool that the second comment on her site was on how to track down and stalk the person who made the edit. The Malkinization of America continues apace…
Jay B. said,
August 15, 2008 at 20:58
Yeah, but did you throw a book party for RuPaul along with Blue Boy magazine?
eidos said,
August 15, 2008 at 20:59
A comment from Amy’s blog:
Amy a tranny – that’s too funny. No doubt is was wishful thinking on someone’s fault. I’m sure if you were, you’d look forward to and enjoy prostate exams.
Apart from the mangled English there’s a couple layers of weirdness there (unless its by a crafty troll).
Gavel Down said,
August 15, 2008 at 20:59
She sure is good at tucking. I hear duct tape helps.
eidos said,
August 15, 2008 at 20:59
“it’s”, that is.
WOOP WOOP! WOOP WOOP! WARNING! WARNING! WOOP WOOP! WOOP WOOP! said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:00
POTENTIAL LOOKISM
POTENTIAL LOOKISM
POTENTIAL LOOKISM
APPEAL TO HETERONORMALITY
ALERT
ALERT
El Tiburon said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:00
She (or he) does look better when she (or he) faces away from the camera.
For a tranny, she (or he) is not so bad to look at.
Better than Stan Coulter at any rate.
Deep thought, if two trannies like the Goddess here and Mr. Coulter were to couple, who would, um, er, oh nevermind.
eidos said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:03
Heh, further on in the comments they work on tracking the IP address of the wiki vandal. Looks like the same gumshoes that are working on the Obama birth certificate case.
pedestrian said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:04
AHAHAHAAA!!!! “She” likes to have political opinions even though “she” isn’t even a real woman! What kind of man likes to put on the women’s clothes? She’s not very “ladylike”!!!
OMG IT IS TOO FUNNY FOREVER!!!
bughunter said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:04
But where’s the pickle?
That’s the suprise!
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=MzOpjBOzMqA
eidos said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:06
Cool that the second comment on her site was on how to track down and stalk the person who made the edit. The Malkinization of America continues apace…
Yes, once again doing their best to dispell the stereotype of the paranoid, eliminationist wingnut.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:07
Picking on the Stevie-Wonder-like lurching of a blind person is a low blow.
nolo said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:07
. . . uh oh ….. you’ve got her going now.
islmfaoscist said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:07
Oh wow! This is great! Look at that, I’m peeing sittin’ down like a dainty dignified little woman!
You guys try those new wings tampons? Do those work well?
Righteous Bubba said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:08
OMG IT WAS GAVIN!!!!
It seems likely that the pussyboy who did this is here — possibly Gavin M. (via the Brit IP):
http://www.sadlyno.com/about
Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 15, 2008 9:06 AM
Legalize said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:10
Those shoulders belong on a certain NY Giants linebacker from the 1980s. She’s a dude, baby.
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:11
Nothing good can come of this.
Jay B. said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:13
I’m pretty sure that pussyboy lives in Cambridge America, Mr. Smarmypants.
Get a life, moran!
Clif said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:14
No, it wasn’t Gavin. Or me. It was somebody posting the edit from a large and famous company in London. It’s all staring the Goddess and her mouth-breathing gumshoes in the face, but they are all just too dense to see it.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:14
Is she wearing opera gloves at the beach? Situationaly inappropriate clothing is VERY drag queen.
Malaclypse said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:16
“It seems likely that the pussyboy who did this is here — possibly Gavin M.”
I hereby denounce and reject Gavin in the strongest possible, Maoist terms.
But someone should add a Giant Sammich to that photo…
Scott said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:16
I got no interest in slamming people for not being properly feminine. I think it’s insulting enough to note that she’s a raging racist motherfucker. And that more and more often, Google searches for “Amy Alkon” will include references to her being a racist motherfucker.
The only person she has to blame for that is herself, for letting her racist-motherfucker flag fly.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:17
No, it wasn’t Gavin.
I know, and I know you know, and now we all know that you know I know. No?
pedestrian said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:17
Lest anyone think that I’m prejudiced against drag queens, you should know that once a month I speak to an inner-city class of drag queens in order to try to convince them that a life devoted to mascara, eyeliner, wigs, feather boas and false boobies is a waste of their full potential. And those of you who haven’t done the same, it’s YOU who are prejudiced.
I’m too busy volunteering for a program that teaches employable skills to minority youth. Contrary to popular belief, Latinos aren’t born knowing how to make authentic Taco Bell Caramel Apple Empanadas and Spicy Crunch Wrap Supremes. It takes a lot patience and perseverance, but the results are their own delicious reward.
Legalize said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:17
Not for nothng, but I dig the “Pet Sounds”-esqe font in the allegedly photoshopped picture.
pedestrian said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:25
But someone should add a Giant Sammich to that photo…
That isn’t appropriate or funny. Now, the Giant Celery and some Ex-Lax…
Righteous Bubba said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:26
URK! COMEDY ORGASM!
[...]As I just said to the person who told me that Gary Ruppert is probably behind your site [..]
Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 15, 2008 12:15 PM
Righteous Bubba said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:27
Didnae see the update, so, um…it’s still funny.
SamFromUtah said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:29
Nothing good can come of this.
Yeah, about what I was thinking.
Or maybe not – Project Runway is going to do drag queen gear this week. Anyone up for discussing that?
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:32
I predict a convergence of riled-up folks from several different directions.
I await with interest.
pedestrian said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:33
Uh oh, she has Troofie on the case. Guys, we are so busted.
tigrismus said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:34
Gary Ruppert is probably behind your site
Dear God NOBODY BEND OVER! Especially if you’re a minor!
sagra said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:34
Project Runway is going to do drag queen gear this week. Anyone up for discussing that?
I’m looking forward to that.
/discuss
Righteous Bubba said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:35
I predict a convergence of riled-up folks from several different directions.
O RILEY?
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:36
Gary Ruppert is probably behind your site
I actually yelped when I read this. If I’d been sucking on a Jolly Rancher I’d probably be dead now.
My cat fled to the bedroom and is now under the bed.
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:37
I clicked that link, Bubbles. My brain hurts. I hope you’re happy.
sagra said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:37
tigrismus brought the funneh.
pedestrian said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:39
I wonder if her super secret detective skillz could help us find Bruce.
Iris said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:40
This is exactly the type of misogyny and lookism that has made me and millions of other true blue Reagan Democrats walk away from the party of Obambi, the same party that would throw away votes in Michigan and Florida and disregard the hard-working Americans who live in Appalachia, the true blue core of freedom for this party and this country. You’d rather make fun of a bright woman than read anything daring to criticize an inadequate loser like Obama. I find this sad and offensive, and it’s no wonder why I’ve walked away from the Democrat Party. You’ll see the rest of us walking away from you too, when thousands storm out of the bogus convention in Denver. You will hear the pumas roar, and you will be afraid.
Saul said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:40
Shalom, Gentlemen,
Does she not know that I and I alone am running this show, and Gary is merely my minion?
Legalize said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:40
Why do you laugh when I say, “Gary Ruppert”? He has a wife you know ….
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPGb4STRfKw
Sarcastro said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:40
That isn’t appropriate or funny. Now, the Giant Celery and some Ex-Lax…
Come now, we can’t really tell if celery would be appropriate or not because we can’t see if her panties are falling down in this picture.
NoahC said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:40
Is it just me, or does this lady remind anyone else of Roberta Muldoon?
It’s an almost identical match from my mind’s eye…
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:41
Who would have thought that the day could suddenly present me with such an abundance of Teh Funneh?
Righteous Bubba said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:41
I clicked that link, Bubbles. My brain hurts. I hope you’re happy.
I am extraordinarily happy. Praise Gary Ruppert for bringing the funny on a daily basis.
Legalize said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:43
Why do you laugh when she says “Gary Ruppert”? He has a wife you know …
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPGb4STRfKw
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:43
I for one welcome the coming of Ruppertus Overlord.
Vladimir and Estragon said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:45
There we were just sitting around and OMG GARY SHOWED UP TO ENTERTAIN US!
PUMAS said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:45
ROAR!!!
Gary Ruppert said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:46
The fact is, what about Barry O, vacationing back in Hawaii? How is he holding up against a future in which he might have to face Vlad the Poisoner and Russia’s reversion to barbarism? To say it kindly, Barry is Unready — redeless just like Ethelred, and already signaling weakness. According to his official advisor, Susan Rice, John McCain was just too nasty to the raging Bear. This might pass muster in the Disney World of the Left, where you just wish upon a star to make it come true, but in Putin’s mafiocracy they are toasting Obama in vodka. Down the hatch, Barry!
By failing to warn Putin, Obama is inviting more aggression — look for it as soon as he gets elected. Jimmy Carter invited Brezhnev to invade Afghanistan, and Barry O is doing the same with the former Soviet satellites.
The Bush Administration’s much saner response is modeled after the Berlin Airlift, a time when Stalin and Truman were testing each other while teetering on the brink of a nuclear exchange. After sixty years of experience with the Russians, we have a history of relations to fall back on — but that’s only true if you know that history. Barry O has given no indication so far that he’s read up on all that Cold War stuff lately. Fortunately, Bush’s cabinet has a good historical memory; Condi Rice is a Soviet scholar, and Cheney was SecDef at the end of the Cold War. Nobody appears to be in denial, thank goodness. They will navigate this confrontation based on what we know about Russia and Putin. And no, George W. Bush is not as naive about Putin as conservatives sometimes fear.
Just as the Polonium assassination was designed to send a message to bully the world, the Georgia invasion used a lot of over-the-top violence — Russia having 146 million people, and George 4-5 million. Putin went so far as to send in Cossack and Chechen irregulars, a deliberate throwback to the Czars. Back then, the Cossacks were no better than the Vikings; they killed, plundered and raped civilians. They were the battlefield scavengers of dead and wounded soldiers. Even the Prussian von Clausewitz was appalled and shamed by the Cossacks, who had no sense of military honor as he understood it.
Well, Putin has sent the Cossacks and Chechens in again after the Russian army. This is a signal to Eastern Europe where people have long memories. Russia is back to barbarism.
Under its current KGB Mafia, Moscow will act purely by Machtpolitik, unrestrained by world opinion or civilized values. Meanwhile, the Germans have put themselves at the mercy of Putin by giving him a monopoly over their natural gas supplies. Russia’s Gazprom even hired the last (and worst) German Chancellor, Gerhardt Schroeder, after he passed a concessionary gas agreement with Russia through the German parliament. Europe is governed by fools or cowards, who hope to buy the friendship of the KGB Mafia in Moscow. But as soon as the Russians bare their teeth, Europe looks to the United States again for help.
Pathetic.
So we’re the world’s Good Cop again. We don’t have to like it, in the face of unreliable ‘allies’ and treacherous foes. But who else would you trust to resist thugs like Putin the Poisoner?
Right.
Doc Washboard said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:46
Whatever the point may be, it would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Malaclypse said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:47
Does this mean that Gary is the real m-t-f?
SamFromUtah said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:47
I’m looking forward to that.
Well, I suppose there isn’t much else to say except “Yay, Chris March!” and I can’t wait to hear Tim Gunn say “It looks like a pterodactyl in a gay Jurassic Park” again.
Sarcastro said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:47
You will hear the pumas roar, and you will be afraid.
What’s funny is that pumas do not roar. They scream. Like an angry baby.
ice weasel said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:47
Being that stupid is an insult to gender re-assignment folk everywhere.
The Ghost of Tarika Williams said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:52
That red-headed boy can kiss my ass. We don’t need permission from white people to have children. If we did, we’d have died out 100 years ago.
Jennifer said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:52
It seems likely that the pussyboy who did this is here — possibly Gavin M.
Hmmmm….”pussyboy”? That’s an…..interesting word choice from someone righteously asserting their birth as a female.
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
As for Ruppert being the wikivandal….heartland.
mextremist said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:54
as one of the most transgendered members of this blog, i am pretty sure that amy is actually one of those trany-wannabee women that have adam’s apple augmentation surgery.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:58
The fact is, Amy hasn’t had the surgery yet. I found out the hard way, and I’m still shaken up.
Heartland.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 15, 2008 at 21:59
“trany-wannabee”? Why would any woman WANT to be seen as a tranny, they arn’t popular people… Oh wait. Wingnuts are not popular either, and there are at least some people who have a fetish for trannys, but NOBODY would fuck a racist wingnut.
stryx said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:01
Wait until Alkon finds out Gary Ruppert is actually a small boy living in a village in Mexico.
ManOnBlog said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:06
OMG, my cat ran too! I haven’t laughed this hard since the Fuckbum RB post.
Hoosier X said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:06
Clearly, the wikivandals are Kanau Kambon and Bill Ayres, possibly at the instigation of Michelle Obama. They were removing the paragraphs that prove that she said “Whitey” and decided to make fun of one of the Lionesses of the Right and they chose Amy Alkon.
Duh.
fadgeophile said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:07
A large company in London? Do tell.
I don’t have the detective chops to parse this freshly brewing controversy.
That would be a Kaiser Sosei style twist – Gary is Seb!
(Sorry, Seb.)
Blue Buddha said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:08
I see that she’s still sporting the Croydon facelift like a good little chavette.
El Cid said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:09
Paris, Texas is burning?
Susan of Texas said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:10
I can’t believe someone lets that woman scare teenage girls once a month. It brings a whole new meaning to the monthly curse.
Guillermo Ruppert said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:13
¡Eso no es una mujer, de que es mi esposa!
nolo said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:16
hahahahahahahahaha
ManOnBlog said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:18
Oh shit! She’s actually engaged in a battle of wits with Gary Ruppert over there! AhHAHAHAHA!
Both are clearly unarmed, etc.
Legalize said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:21
It’s like watching Christopher Reeve and Stephen Hawking in a fist fight.
Guillame Ripert said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:22
Ca n’est pas une femme, c’est ma femme!
Hoosier X said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:24
OT:
What happened to the Gwatney story?
I’m assuming the media found out he was a Muslim and they’re covering it up while the cops fake evidence that he was a conservative.
Guillermo Ruppert said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:24
Oh, Lordy. I read more of this woman’s stuff, and she’s like the bastard child of Michelle Malkin and Inspector Jauvert.
Susan of Texas said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:25
sigh
nolo said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:27
More like Michelle Malkin and Elmer Fudd . . .
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:28
Oh, dear lord, she is dumb.
And she’s the best kind of dumb, the kind that’s completely convinced of her own superiority.
The thought of Gary Ruppert as the great and powerful Oz behind Sadly, No! is almost too much for me to bear.
Do you think there’s some way we can drag Ann Althouse into this?
Legalize said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:29
God, she’s actually portaying herself as a victim. Pathetic:
“I had no friends as a child, and I’m way over needing to be liked. I have to respect myself for what I write, and if I do, that’s all I need.” – Amy
Someone needs the whaaaaaambulance.
Susan of Texas said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:29
Eva Peron has got to be in the genetic mix also.
Malaclypse said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:30
From Ms Alkon: “I had no friends as a child, and I’m way over needing to be liked.”
I’d feel sorry for her, except I find it hard to imagine that she deserved friends.
Susan of Texas said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:31
Do you think there’s some way we can drag Ann Althouse into this?
Just say her name three times and she’ll magically appear.
Daniel said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:31
Shorter Gary Ruppert (on his “Obama in Hawaii” post):
Russia scary! New cold war means we need a white man to be strong and protect the children!
Susan of Texas said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:31
This posting delay is messing with our comic timing.
Blue Buddha said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:31
Comedy fucking gold. You can’t write shit like that.
All aboard the fail boat to Pwned Town!
BTW, is anyone getting screen grabs of this shit?
Malaclypse said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:32
Damn you, Legalize. Damn you and your superior typing skilz.
fadgeophile said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:33
As you requested, Legalize.
Ernest Tee said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:33
That’s a girl? I thought it was Carrot Top
Susan of Texas said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:33
Wordpress sucks. I’m losing one-liners into the ether right and left.
Blue Buddha said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:33
Maybe if she actually… y’know… didn’t verbally abuse everybody, then she might have had more friends.
Susan of Texas said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:34
She’s angry and vindictive. I usually like that, but not in racist hags.
BDIII said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:36
This is making my goddamned day.
It’s like some kinda troll exchange program.
Duros Hussein 62 said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:37
I thought it was Sandra Bernhardt. Whatever happened to her?
It’s like watching Christopher Reeve and Stephen Hawking in a fist fight.
That’s just harsh. Funny, but harsh.
pedestrian said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:38
Do you think there’s some way we can drag Ann Althouse into this?
Just drop her name in the comment thread over there. She set up an account with Google to send any mention of herself to her inbox. Try comparing Amy’s breasts to Ann’s, that should do the trick.
F'in Librul said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:39
I’d tonguejack her shitbox!
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:40
From Ms. Alkon’s comments:
The fact is, “Gary Ruppert” is the well known pseudonym of Stanton Carlisle, a French Canadian living in London last I knew.
I had a rather nasty run-in with him a few years ago. Good luck.
This whole thing was funny, but I didn’t have my soda shooting out my nose until that popped up. Not the dreaded STANTON CARLISLE!!!
Duros Hussein 62 said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:40
Do you think there’s some way we can drag Ann Althouse into this?
Type her name three times and spin in your chair.
Oh, while guzzling a box of wine.
She’ll be here.
failboat to pwned town. I love that.
F'in Librul said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:41
I think Amy ought to buy a big vibrator with the $50.00 she won from one of the unfortunate victims of her sleuthemism.
Malaclypse said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:41
Currently up on her wiki page: In her daily life, and in her online blog[2], Alkon campaigns against SUVs [3], calling them a compensation for her tiny penis.
pedestrian said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:42
What happened to the Gwatney story?
Looks like he was one of those Radical Moderates
eidos said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:46
BTW, is anyone getting screen grabs of this shit?
Agreed. That whole thread must be archived for posterity. It is an instant classic.
OneMadClown said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:47
From Wiki:
For many years, Alkon walked on the streets of New York City as one of the three hookers.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:47
That’s not the only recent edit to her wikipedia page, Malaclypse. If I thought like Amy did, I’d say she brought this on herself, not unlike the woman who was shot during the drug raid. I, myself, am too good a person to blame the victim though.
SamFromUtah said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:48
They say Johnson had a bumper sticker on his truck that said “I don’t miss Bill.”
Does that mean he was glad Clinton is out of office, or that he never missed an episode of O’Reilly?
Teh Great Gazoogle said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:49
Not the dreaded STANTON CARLISLE!!!
The last time the subject of Stanton Carlisle came up, y’all ended up making invidious comparisons between Watchmen and Sandman.
mikey said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:49
But it was Bill Ayers.
Bill Ayers kicked Gary Ruppert in the nuts and ran.
Bill Ayers vandalized Amy’s Wiki entry.
Bill Ayers blamed it on Gavin.
mikey
Malaclypse said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:50
Her wiki page is getting better with each refresh.
F'in Librul said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:50
Amy Alkon gives a poster on memes.
sagra said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:50
“I had no friends as a child, and I’m way over needing to be liked. I have to respect myself for what I write, and if I do, that’s all I need.” – Amy
Aspergers?
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:51
Warning: The Alkon site is like a tar pit. If you go over there, the stupid may coat your neurons and when you start arguing with the commentariat you won’t be able to stop for days. I’ve seen it happen, and it’s a horrible thing to witness. The place is strewn with bones, I tell you!
Abandon all hope of bringing enlightenment.
F'in Librul said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:51
She sure loves this dress!
F'in Librul said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:53
I just spit food all over my keyboard re: Amy’s wiki entry.
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:54
He has a wife you know ….
Hey! Leave me out of this!
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:58
It’s like some kinda troll exchange program.
This made me yelp again.
Smut Clyde said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:58
The Alkon site is like a tar pit. If you go over there, the stupid may coat your neurons
Sounds like the final scenes of Miracle Mile, but without the Tangerine Dream soundtrack.
sagra said,
August 15, 2008 at 22:59
I think I see an error on her wiki entry. “Amy Alkon is a staunch atheist.” should be “Amy Alkon is a staunch elitist.”
Smut Clyde said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:00
the guy who did a hit-and-run on my Insight.
Sounds like a frontal-lobe injury.
F'in Librul said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:01
More like Gingerkid Disease.
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:02
For those who missed the earlier thread, one of her commenters actually said something like, “You are the true intellectual daughter of Camille Paglia.” It was meant as a compliment.
Now I ask you: Is there any hope?
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:03
Ah, the deadly Gingervitis. Add to that her unfortunate case of recto-cranial inversion syndrome, and it is no wonder she was billy no mates.
Jay B. said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:04
I had no friends as a child
No shit.
and I’m way over needing to be liked.
Then that works for both of us. You and the human race. What’s the opposite of quid pro quo?
Blue Buddha said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:06
No, just a miserable asshole. People with Aspergers simply have a hard time relating with others and come off being tactless and cold. Amy seems to actively go out of her way to piss people off.
Legalize said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:06
Numerous screen-shots of her wiki page must be recorded. This shit is too funny.
Blue Buddha said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:06
I’d say more sociopath than mild autism.
Smut Clyde said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:09
Nihil pro nihilo?
Kathleen said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:14
how much detective work is involved in having an informant?
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:15
If I laugh much harder I’m going to rupture, or maybe Ruppert, something:
brian is not one of their brighter bulbs.
LittlePig said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:17
Aspergers? Oh yeah, with a dollop of Hollandaise.
OT: “I don’t miss Bill” – we have a lot of “I miss Bill” bumper stickers here abouts (Little Rock), referring to William the Slick.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:17
Sociopathy and Aspergers syndrome are not necessarily mutually exclusive. However, Narcissism and Aspergers are usually mutually exclusive, and I catch quite a big whiff of the former from her. And of course, Narcissism and Sociopathy go together quite often.
I think she is a born troll. You know the kind of person. The people that love to be hated, as long as they are getting attention.
Kathleen said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:18
doesn’t a hit piece — by its very definition — not encompass “a large amount of attention”?
Simba B said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:20
Can someone link me to the classic PW post from June ‘06 alluded to in that comment at her blog?
Nascar McHeartland said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:21
Hey, y’all, just wanted to say I have found a picture of Amy Alkon’s cooter, so there’s no need to go all saying she used to be a man.
It is of course Not Safe For Work, unless you work at some kind of effete ivory tower academic “job” that pays you to sit around and complain about America all day.
http://wiki.voyeurweb.com/images/thumb/9/99/Homer-20070226-11374-2c.jpg/350px-Homer-20070226-11374-2c.jpg
Blue Buddha said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:22
#1) We have a party line? (Well, besides snarking at stupid conservatives)
#2) If S,N! devoted soooo much attention to “Jeff at PW”, then how come I don’t know who the fuck he is?
LittlePig said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:23
you are the true intellectual daughter of Camille Paglia
Well, after the operation, maybe…
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:23
Is he that Jeff “cock-slapping” guy? Or am I thinking of someone else?
LittlePig said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:25
to Jeff at PW over the last couple years because they aren’t smart enough to understand what he writes either.
Hmmmm….”cockslap”….what the heck does that mean? Guess I’m not smart enough, darn the luck.
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:26
Hey, my comment went to moderation or else vanished! That never happens to me, because i don’t take my comments into dangerous word press houses where I can expect my them to be viciously deleted without warning!
Johnny Pez said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:26
It was somebody posting the edit from a large and famous company in London.
The Torchwood Institute? Damn, those guys are into everything.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:26
#2) If S,N! devoted soooo much attention to “Jeff at PW”, then how come I don’t know who the fuck he is?
The fact is, oh come on. You have to know who Pasty McSlappy is. He’s a drama queen who looks like Ross from Friends.
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:27
I was gonna say, isn’t Jeff the Jeff of cock-slapping fame? I guess LittlePig answered that question for me.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:29
Whatever it means, LittlePig, I hope the ASPCA was called. I hate it when people abuse animals, even roosters.
And I am shocked, shocked at all the wikipedia vandalism that is going on. Just because she practically begged for it to happen, it doesn’t make it right.
fadgeophile said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:30
Is a cock-slap the longer, skinnier version of the Tea Bag?
Gerald Curl said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:31
Is the Sadly, No! party line like the ones I see advertised on The Robin Byrd Show?
Dain Brammaged said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:32
Just to point out, please don’t use duct tape to tuck. That’s what spandex is for.
Which is central to my point. Heartland.
ken peggs said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:33
Quid pro faux.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:35
It’s worse than you think…
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:35
Wherever there’s a fight so that hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a WordPress, eatin’ everyone’s comments, I’ll be there.
I’ll be in the way Gary Ruppert yells when he’s out of Cheetos.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:35
The fact is, I love the fact that we have a reputation.
Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:39
Detective work eh? So she admits she’s a dick.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:39
I have found a picture of Amy Alkon’s cooter
I’m waiting for Homer to eat a donut.
Malaclypse said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:40
I, for one, think “Ask the Friendless Alcoholic” would be a far better column than “Ask the Advice Goddess.” http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=Amy_Alkon&diff=232184888&oldid=232184302
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:40
Please release my comments.
Candy said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:40
Marita, you are my hero!
Tell Wordpress he can keep my comment, but I want my Mark Lanegan CD back.
Ash Joncroft said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:41
Let the puma roar
Like she’s never roared before
From shrieking loon to open soar
Let the mighty puma roar
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:43
Her Wiki is just a stub!
(maybe that is why she doesn’t have to tuck)
NoahC said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:46
You guys, seriously.
I was having a horrible day, but this abundance of snark made me realize that life is still worth living.
Smut Clyde said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:50
The fact is, the “large and famous company in London” where Gary Ruppert works is actually a fishmonger’s shop in Brick Lane called “Squid Pro Quo”.
sagra said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:51
OT: Follow this hyperlink by using your mouse to click on this sentence in order to open a web page containing a very important message from Rick Santorum.
aimai said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:52
Not a trannie. Can’t say what she is, but I”m really, really, really sure she’s not a woman. That requires humanity.
aimai
Gary Ruppert said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:52
The fact is, I sell insurance for Lloyds of London. One of my policies is on Megan McArdle’s cognitive abilities.
Doctorb said,
August 15, 2008 at 23:53
His voting record shows he consistently voted in elections, sometimes voting Republican and at times voting Democratic.
I thought that was supposed to be, like, secret information. Beyond private. What the hell?
F'in Librul said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:01
Let me append a slight correction to Mr. Joncraft’s song:
Let the puma roar
Like she’s never roared before
From shrieking loon to open sore
Let the mighty puma roar
Blue Buddha said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:01
Hmmm… you’ve got a point. Didn’t pick up on that when I first read it. Last time I voted, the process seemed pretty anonymous (ie: voting card had nothing unique to ID me).
Otto said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:02
Vacations in Dumpsters? Ho, man, I wish. Dumpster-brand trash bins are top-of-the-line. This is just a Trash-Co waste disposal unit.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:03
May the Ceiling Cat have pity, I’ve ignored my own advice and am now commenting over there.
I need to get away from this computer for a while. Maybe a couple of bottles of malbec would help . . .
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:04
I guess he could have been *registered* variously as (R) or (D), although that is different from actually *voting* that way.
Ha, (R). Nice.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:05
I”m really, really, really sure she’s not a woman. That requires humanity.
Uh oh. Then what was it, exactly, that I married?
[Cue ominous music]
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:06
Over on the original thread…
wereas a racist would focus soely on one race
One-race racists are the elitists of the racist world.
Ripley said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:06
What kind of pose is that?
“Magnum! Dear God, it’s beautiful !”
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:08
I think it is way cool that Amy called someone who knows Gary. I totally believe her, and don’t think she’s making shit up.
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:09
Actually, I called somebody who’s acquainted with him. It’s a small world, asshat
This was just too good to pass up. It took all my willpower to not break to her the truth about Gary Ruppert.
sagra said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:09
The voting record quote is different in the TodaysTHV link. It sounds more like he shared that information with aquaintences and they told a reporter.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:10
I want to tell her Gary’s a gentle fiction, but I don’t want to ruin her day.
Oh, what the hell.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:11
Oh, Candy, Simba, see if you can draw her out. See what other details about Gary she has.
Maybe we can get his phone number or a link to his MySpace page.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:11
If Gary Ruppert didn’t exist, Amy would have to invent somebody who knows him…
mikey
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:12
Wow. You really set her off, Candy. Her life is hard! She’s a professional! She doesn’t care if you respect her or not, but dammit, you’d better respect her!
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:13
Simba, I’ve got a comment in the box over there all ready to go. I’m trying to restrain myself from hitting submit. I don’t want to spoil the fun. On the other hand, it might create a whole new species of fun.
If I were Amy, I’d be reading over here at the same time I was monitoring over there. She’s really not that smart, is she? Not that we didn’t know that, but jebus.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:14
marita, consider it done!
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:14
Could Ann Althouse be Gary’s secret lover? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.
Gary Ruppert Pupkin said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:16
Photons are still not Amy’s friend.
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:16
The fact is, the London Metropolitan Police are investigating claims that Gary Ruppert has convinced a number of teenage girls to strip half-naked while he photographed them. He allegedly recruited the teenagers by advertising for female tow-truck drivers, and invited them to employment interviews, where he informed them that the position involved semi-undress because his company was called “The Topless Towers of Ilium”.
Nascar McHeartland said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:18
Wherever there’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, I’ll be there. Holding the guy down.
stryx said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:19
As a former Viognier sipper, “I don’t miss Bill” brought to mind something completely different, sort of like D.A.M.M.
And please let me post the damn linkie for the Gingervitas:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJUm_yy2Cbw
FWYP, just in case.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:21
Sadly, Yes, there is a Gary Ruppert. He exists as certainly as pride and ignorance and authoritarianism exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its greatest travail and hardship. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Gary Ruppret. It would be as dreary as if there were no Gavins. There would be no childlike faith in Dear Leader then, no awkward unintentional poetry, no Fabio-like romance to snark on and make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in living in a sane and just society. The eternal light with which piles of burning Al Gore books fill the world would be extinguished.
HumboldtBlue said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:22
Wow, she’s won like oodles of awards for her journalism, including kicking the asses of those shcleppers at the LA Times. Now if she had said she beat out the Times circa 1988 or so, that would mean something, but they hired the Load which pretty much meant the fishwrap prophesy came true.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:22
Alkon maintains that the benefits of society often attributed to religion and innate human spirituality are better accounted for by the evil forces of the Decepticons
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:24
Oh Candy, you’re my hero.
Can I be your facebook friend?
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:25
Here is my request for her to do the right thing:
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:26
If I had a facebook page, you would be my first friend, Marita! (blushes)
We’ll see if she bites!
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:28
I must give Candy and Aristophanes mad props for being willing to post over there, given the IP-stalker mentality.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:30
I must give Candy and Aristophanes mad props for being willing to post over there, given the IP-stalker mentality.
I’m willing to bet that Alkon has already checked their IPs against all of the ones making wikipedia changes (assuming that she’s noticed the recent changes).
Look out guys, the Alkon is watching you.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:33
This whole IP stalker thing is over rated. My IP address comes back to Comcast.net santa clara. Now granted, if you had access to Comcast’s billing records and DHCP logs, you could figure out in short order my name and address. But otherwise? Good luck…
mikey
Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:38
The fact is, Gary Ruppert DOES have a myspace.
Friend me. I shall be creating a profile shortly.
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:38
Alas, the truth has been spilled about Gary.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:39
Mikey, I believe the genius named “brian” posting in her comments suggested a way around this:
Apparently all Alkon has to do is bat her eyelashes, and no one’s anonymity is safe.
Corporate Tool, Indeed said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:39
Some jokes write themselves:
A boy and his dog
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:41
make a few phone calls to sweet-talk a couple geeks
This is where brian is full of shit, and he knows it.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:42
Oh noes! She just threatened people with the equivalent of NEW YORK LAW FIRM!
And doctorb, you just stole my Grapes of Wrath swagger. Damn you! I have an attorney with a PRESTIGIOUS CAMBRIDGE (AMERICA) LAW FIRM, and I expect to be compensated for this!
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:43
Candy, are you ashamed that you have taken time away, time that she could have spent giving advice to gay teens?
Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:43
http://www.myspace.com/garyruppert
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:44
Whois doesn’t keep IP records except for domain owners. Comcast owns the IP address. I don’t own comcast.net…
mikey
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:44
OK, is RB’s nick now Bubbles?
Cuz that’s frickin funny, an I like to keep up…
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:45
And why the hell would it be worth it to send a lawyer from NY to CA to respond to some piss-ant small claim? That seems as believable as her speaking with friends of Gary.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:48
OK, is RB’s nick now Bubbles?
Yes. Yes it is. [Reinserts pipe. In the mouth you dirty kids.]
Jennifer said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:49
Can someone link me to the classic PW post from June ‘06 alluded to in that comment at her blog?
Simba – ask, and ye shall receive.
I’m not ashamed to admit I have that one permanently bookmarked.
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:50
This thread is killin me. Maybe it’s the half bottle of wine, maybe it’s the desperation of unemployment….
Maybe it’s just this:
Come now, we can’t really tell if celery would be appropriate or not because we can’t see if her panties are falling down in this picture.</I.
Bringin the obscure Art Frame references!! FTW!!
Of course, that’s assuming she’s WEARING panties….
His Grace said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:51
Trying to catch up… too hilarious.
I’m just gonna say that if I were to post at her site from work and from home, her commenters would probably accuse me of being two people.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:52
The fact is, I just sent Amy a friends request on Myspace.
And I would appreciate some help creating my profile.
Jennifer said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:54
Ahem, wordpress you whore. I’ll come in again:
Can someone link me to the classic PW post from June ‘06 alluded to in that comment at her blog?
Simba – ask, and ye shall receive.
I’m not ashamed to admit I have that one permanently bookmarked.
Lesley said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:56
I’d put Amy out of her misery (kidding! disclaimer! joke! keep your adam’s apple square, Amy!) but apparently U.S. military involvement in conflicts abroad is contributing to a worldwide ammunition shortage.
Gary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:56
The fact is, Amy Alkon has deleted my wikipedia entry, and I’ve already contacted Heartland Law Firm.
She will rue this day.
stryx said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:56
FWYP
Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:57
The fact is, I think I, and the Heartland, deserve a wikipedia entry way more than Amy does.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 0:58
Damn you, Other Fake Gary!
Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:00
The fact is, it is, it is.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:01
Candy, are you ashamed that you have taken time away, time that she could have spent giving advice to gay teens?
I’m suffering terrible pangs of guilt.
No, wait, I think it’s the chili I ate earlier.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:03
I would think the picture for the Gary Ruppert myspace page would have to be that sex offender record that someone here has posted. Anyone have that handy?
scythia said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:03
The fact is,
http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~ruppert/
http://cf.linnbenton.edu/artcom/performing_arts/rupperg/web.cfm?pgID=97
http://www.healthgrades.com/directory_search/physician/profiles/dr-md-reports/Dr-Gary-Ruppert-MD-06A84677.cfm
robert green said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:03
to amy alkon i say:
I AM SADLY NO!
TODAY WE ALL ARE SADLY NO.
then i drink my sazerac rye and absinthe with oj.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:05
Isn’t it nice how Gary’s birthday on the 11th of September happen to make his sign “virgo”?
scythia said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:05
The fact is,
http://cf.linnbenton.edu/artcom/performing_arts/rupperg/web.cfm?pgID=97
http://www.healthgrades.com/directory_search/physician/profiles/dr-md-reports/Dr-Gary-Ruppert-MD-06A84677.cfm
http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~ruppert/
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:07
I actually tried to find that picture to no avail, Dr. Mrs. M.
a concerned citizen said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:08
“Then take that, run it through whois, make a few phone calls to sweet-talk a couple geeks, and get a customer name from the IP address.”
Spoken like somebody who has never actually talked to a geek before. If you called up the average geek and explained the situation, they’d tell you to go blow yourself and post the whole story to reddit or slashdot, followed by thousands of geeks worldwide mocking you and messing with your stuff. I really, really hope she tries it. Maybe a humorless sociopathic tranny with anger management issues can succeed where the Church of Scientology and the RIAA have failed…
Her latest comment in that thread has her ready to sue Gary Ruppert, aka Stanton Carlisle, in British court for libel. I really don’t know how it could get any better than that. This is like Sadly, Novana or something. My entire life will be downhill from this moment on.
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:09
Shouldn’t Gary’s myspace be trying to meet trans-gendered Advice Goddesses?
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:10
http://thumbsnap.com/v/DD4cql02.jpg
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:11
Gary’s pic is in the FYWP queue. AND FYWP!!
Gary's myspace page said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:12
The fact is, I have no friends. Why do I have no friends? I asked Amy to be my friend, but she has not responded. I thought we were friends Amy!
Would you be my friend?
Jennifer said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:14
Sigh. If this post later shows up 3 times, you know who to blame (that cocksucker wordpress, that’s who!).
Can someone link me to the classic PW post from June ‘06 alluded to in that comment at her blog?
Simba – ask, and ye shall receive.
I’m not ashamed to admit I have that one permanently bookmarked.
Kathleen said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:16
so did Det. Amy call Tom to get her info?
Stanton Carlisle said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:17
She’d better not mess with me; I can speak with the dead, you know.
Gary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:18
Gary’s myspace page needs a picture update. See Bubbles at
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:10
Doctor Missus Marita, Slayer of Wordpress said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:19
Gary, I think your myspace page should play the Numa Numa song. Either that, or Ashcroft’s “Let the Eagle Soar”
Or Orrin Hatch’s “America United”. That’s a good one too.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:21
I vote for “Let the Eagle Soar” a masterpiece of wingnutitude if there ever was one.
Or maybe something by Toby Keith. That would be good too.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:22
Oh man, reading the Seanbaby article linked in that classic PW post..
Gary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:24
Alternate self portrayal
Gary's myspace page said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:31
The fact is, I need help with a compilation of “The best of Gary Ruppert”
And the fact that none of you have friended me yet shows how insincere and elitist you coastal liberal types are. You sicken me. If you ever venture into the heartland, where all us genuine hospitable unpretentious true Americans live, we will shoot you.
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:31
The fact is, the idea for a Wikipedia article on my namesake is excellent. I’d write it myself, but I’ve never written one before and it should look somewhat professional.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:35
The fact is, the idea for a Wikipedia article on my namesake is excellent. I’d write it myself, but I’ve never written one before and it should look somewhat professional.
The n00b’s secret: steal an article you like and edit it. Works for wikis, webpages, code, book reports, and John McCain speeches.
OneMan said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:35
GR#2: just copy/paste The Advice Goddess’ page and tweak some key phrases to fit.
Hey, it’s not like you have to fool an expert.
OneMan said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:36
Oh, and FYWP
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:36
the fact is, I believe all of Amy’s people have been routed. We Sadles seem to be chatting amongst outselves now. Even the valiant brian has quit the field.
Gary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:38
The n00b’s secret: steal an article you like and edit it. Works for wikis, webpages, code, book reports, and John McCain speeches.
Also, for every report I have to write for the man (aka teh corporation what signs my checks). Just make sure not to leave some of the names in from the last one, cause then people make fun of you.
John McCain said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:39
Simply pointing out things that are true is hardly “stealing”. If my speech was plagiarized in any way it was plagiarized unintentionally, by failing to include quotations or give the appropriate citation. While plagiarism in scholarship and journalism has a centuries-old history, the development of the Internet, where articles appear as electronic text, has made the physical act of copying the work of others much easier, simply by copying and pasting text from one web page to another.
Liar, idiot or fool? said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:40
You retort, we deride!
Gary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:50
At this rate, Gary will have 2^32 friends by Tuesday.
Gary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:51
The fact is, I meant 2³².
Jennifer said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:54
Simba – see my post at 0:54 – it’s your Jeff Goldstein link.
Wordpress is a fickle whore.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 1:56
That’s ok, as long as I can be 1? of ‘em….
mikey
Gary's myspace page said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:01
The fact is, I only have one friend so far. Still no reply from my dear, sweet Amy.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:02
Wait, does anyone still use Myspace other than 13yrold girls and men that want to fuck 13yrold girls?
Oh wait, then its perfect for Gary.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:02
Ummm.
Like this?
That’s ok, as long as I can be 1¹ of ‘em…
mikey
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:02
make a few phone calls to sweet-talk a couple geeks
I hope this is not to suggest anything that might be construed as being of a sexual and/or perverted nature.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:02
Yay for unicode!
mikey
Arky - Everywhere you want to be said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:04
Shhh! Don’t tell her about Rugged in Montana.
Joe Max said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:06
Well, now I’ve been banned from Her Holiness’ blog for saying:
I think I’ll go have a cry.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:06
Back at the original shot-woman-deserves-it post I received this awesome put-down:
are your brain dead?
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:07
Amy has server issues: posts don’t show up instantly. You probably haven’t been banned.
Joe Max said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:10
Cripple fight!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWk6RgQbPVc
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:15
Yeah, I’ll say that for her – and it’s about the only thing I’ll say for her – she isn’t ban-happy. Otherwise, we’d all be toast. Malkin wouldn’t put up with this for ten seconds. So, grudging props for that.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:20
So, grudging props for that.
And grudging they are. She’s still on a detective hunt for someone who played a minor prank.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:22
It’s wine-shopping time! Yay! I’ve developed a passion for malbec. Spicy, purple, luscious malbec.
MzNicky said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:22
If we could harness the energy and intelligence that drives the hundreds of comments that show up on thread such as this, which in the end, let’s admit it, signifies nothing, we actually might be able to achieve something of value.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:23
Well, she’s basically a mean, shallow person. Cheap vendettas give her a little frisson and make her feel alive.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:23
We could make the bestest poop joke EVER!
Gary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:24
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:23
We could make the bestest poop joke EVER!
RAMEN!
Kathleen said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:26
I wish I could join you all over there, but I am at work and afraid to click over.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:26
This has value, MzNicky. At the very least it has entertainment value. At its best it might make someone think. A slim possiblity, I’ll admit. And I’m not kidding when I say that her saying she talked to someone who knows Gary Ruppert is going to keep me smiling for weeks.
Wine now.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:31
So who is up for creating a Wiki for dear ‘ol Gary? I can’t be arsed making an account so I can start an article.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:40
Gary Ruppert doesn’t really meet the notability requirement … yet.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:42
Balls to that. I have things under my couch more notable than Amy, and she rates a stub.
Gary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:47
The fact is, I am a Grand
DuckDuchessDuke back in Heartlandia, mf’er!So take that with your notability requirement.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:48
You mean grand wizard right?
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:49
Heh. You said “stub“.
Arky - Everywhere you want to be said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:52
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:53
I genuinely can’t tell if Ted Williams over at her site is a parody troll or not.
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:54
ggod lord, it’s like Sideshow bob walking into a yard fullla rakes.
At this point, SN is a near-incomprehensible thicket of nyms, fake-trolls, in jokes and self referential quicksand….
And, of course, mikey and RB trading recipes interspersed with weaponry reviews….
Harvey said,
August 16, 2008 at 2:56
Pssst! If Amy Alkohon comes looking for me, don’t tell her I was here. Let’s just say “she” thinks phooka is a verb and leave it at that, ‘k?
Tungl Sjötrungnis said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:06
Who you call fake-troll, pinky?
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:11
I love that they have unhacked every part of her wiki page *except* the line about “luscious vaginas.”
I cannot explain missing that without assuming consumption of boxed wine.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:12
Righteous Bubba’s Twice Cooked Exploding Elk:
2 Segments Exploding Elk
1 Pound Angry Dandelion
3 Bunches Dale Carnegie Slaw
2 Buttloads parboiled Seagull Giblets
Detcord to taste
Pick through the Elk and Dandelion, discard metal. Blend Dale Carnegie Slaw with Seagull giblets in electric lawn mower. Stuff the latter mixture into the former, being careful to avoid the explosives. Wrap in detcord, tie with butchers knots. Steam in 100% alcohol bath for 1 hour, then bake in 3000° Solar Thermal oven with laser convection for eleven seconds. Serves one roomful of wingnuts….
mikey
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:20
Mom’s Olde-Fashioned Ten-Alarm Hot Sauce
* 1 ounce semtex (or C-4 in a pinch)
* 3 cloves garlic, queenishly minced
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
* 1 tablespoon regular-virgin olive oil
* 4 tablespoons dirty, dirty slut olive oil
* 1 teaspoon ground coriander
* 1 teaspoon ground caraway seeds
* 1/2 teaspoon cumin
Preparation:
Soak the plastic explosive in hot water for 30 minutes. Drain. Remove stems and seeds on top of a Pink Floyd album cover.
In a food processor, lugubriously combine explosive, garlic, salt and olive oil. Blend judiciously.
Add remaining spices and blend to form a rueful paste.
Store in airtight container inside another airtight container half-filled with silica gel (or unused cat litter). Drizzle a small amount of olive oil on top to keep fresh. Will keep for a month in the refrigerator, six months in the freezer, or fifteen thousand years in carbonite.
a concerned citizen said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:20
“At this point, SN is a near-incomprehensible thicket of nyms, fake-trolls, in jokes and self referential quicksand….”
There are worse things than being liberal politics’ answer to 4chan… Clearly, Ruppert-rolling is the new Rickrolling.
robert green said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:21
glenrothes, motherfuckers–single barrel single malt speyside. 2 cubes of ice.
one fuck you to amy alkon. stir with gary ruppert heartland. imbibe.
handy said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:23
It’s still not as bad as Atrios.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:26
And yeah, the Speyside has at least two things to recommend it:
1. When the Islay Malt runs out.
2. Hey, almost anything’s better than Highland Malt…
mikey
Susan of Texas said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:30
Woah, she’s like a squirrel on speed.
Susan of Texas said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:32
Trying again-wordpress is a foul, perfidiious beast.
She’s like asquirrel on speed.
Galactic Dustbin said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:32
“Dear Virginia:
” Your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age.
“They do not believe except what they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little.
“In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.
“Yes, Virginia, there is a Gary Ruppert. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Thus everything must have it’s opposite so, Gary Ruppert MUST exist.
There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The external light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Gary Ruppert! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the Intertubes and not see Gary post, what would that prove? Nobody sees Gary Ruppert, but that is no sign that there is no Gary Ruppert.
“The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in this world.
“You tear apart the baby’s rattle ( as Gary often does) to see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart.
“Only faith, poetry, love, romance can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.
“No Gary Ruppert? Thank God he lives, and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of the wingnut.”
Susan of Texas said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:35
Why can’t I post? Why am I being punished??
3rd try-wordpress is a foul, perfidiious beast.
She’s like asquirrel on speed.
If this triple posts I’ll flatten wormpress’s tires.
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:39
almost anything’s better than Highland Malt
You’re dissing Glenmorangie and Highland Park and Talisker, mikey.
Are the arguments about vegetarianism not sufficiently heated for you?
Snorghagen said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:40
Near-incomprehensible? That shit needs to end and end now. SN needs to become totally fucking incomprehensible! Let’s all post in mixtures of Esperanto and Bulgarian.
Doctor Missus Marita, Slayer of Wordpress said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:40
Oh, check out Robert Green over at Ms. Alkon’s site, calling her bluff.
That’s pretty sweet. I’d buy a ticket to see how the rest of this plays out.
jim said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:41
24 karat win.
Lordy lordy. It’s just not nice to troll the stupid – but damn, ain’t it FUN? Yes, fishing with a hand-grenade IS cheating … technically … but with a bottom-feeder like this one, the lulz more than make up for the lack of sportsmanship.
I’m ambivalent as to the corporeal status of our Herr Doktor Ruppert – I’ve seen a few comments under his name on wingnut blogs, & not particularly funny or satirical ones at that. I think he once WAS a real commenter who’s long since slunk away in horror after having his ‘nom de Interwebs’ sullied beyond repair – or he’s still around but has simply changed his handle. Has anyone ever seen The Trout & Gary in the same room? Hmm?
Cue “Twilight Zone” theme …
Best comedy for me on her Wiki page: ” This article about a United States journalist is a stub.” Oh, stop! “Journalist!” ROFLMAO! I guess that makes me a quantum physicist! Oh, sweet Jeebus! I think I just pulled a muscle!
*gasping for air*
The very image of this hag earnstly hunting a nonexistant (???) troll will make me smile & smile & smile. It is, after all, exactly what “she” deserves.
ignatov said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:41
This is the greatest thing that ever happened in the history of the world.
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:44
Also, Glenfiddich = cooking whisky.
Doctor Missus Marita, Slayer of Wordpress said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:46
hodiaux ni сте цял Gary Ruppert.
Crissa said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:48
I think she hangs herself high enough without the TP induced photoshop.
…Although you do have a point, why would a photo prove anything? Even a nakkie photo of a trans woman won’t look different, and why would we care what’s in her undies, anyhow?
PS. Gavin, remind the readers that making trans jokes isn’t okay.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:49
You’re dissing Glenmorangie and Highland Park and Talisker, mikey.
Yes. Yes I am.
In a world where Port Ellen, Laphroaig, Lagavulin, Ardbeg and even the more gentle and less challenging Bruichladdich exist to excite the taste, invigorate the soul and feed the muse, what, pray, is the purpose of the Genmorangie, except, perhaps, as a topping for Peaches and Ice Cream?
mikey
Susan of Texas said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:49
Gaaaviiin, someone’s being mean on the internet. Do something, Gavin!
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 3:52
Reposted from over at her site: “spoken like a true sociopath”
On a serious note, I sincerely hope she isn’t going to cause a bunch of headaches for anyone…hell, I used my real email address by mistake there once.
What a vengeful, petty bitch.
a different brad said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:00
Wait, I’m confused.
Marita is Gary Ruppert, Gavin is in London, and Robert Green is OJ’s lawyer?
Am I Ann Althouse? Where do I go to find out?
Ann Althouse™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:07
Am I Ann Althouse? Where do I go to find out?
Click my name, silly!
Doctor Missus Marita, Slayer of Wordpress said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:07
diffbrad,
I think you need to go somewhere that serves boxed wine and onion rings.
Let us know what you find out.
Gavin M. said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:07
This ‘going after someone’ comment of hers has begun to get me quite angry…
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:11
what, pray, is the purpose of the Genmorangie
I prefer to sip it one nip at a time, from the Frau Doktorin’s navel, but YMMV.
Docto?b said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:14
?? ????, Tiam pro?undo dormo ve?kis min, ka? vekigxante estis se?du?e la
triaxoro m?rgau?tage, laux la sunradioj; ?, e?le e?is pli malfrua tago
cxar mi opi?ia?, ke tiu cer?e estis la tago, kiun mi ne ma?kis ?ur mia
fo?to, cx?r, poste, mi eltro?is mankon da unu entran??o.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:15
Dang blang it.
Doctor Missus Marita, Slayer of Wordpress said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:15
Your comment leaves me with a lot of questions, Doctorb.
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:20
Eww. I really don’t want to hear about Mr. Alkon’s low hanging grapes.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:20
Yeah those were supposed to be Bulgarian Cyrillic characters interpolated into some Esperanto. Ah well.
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:21
I have yet to figure out Wordpress’ way of deciding whether it will display a Unicode glyph or not. There are different “planes” on the Unicode table, that might have something to do with it.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:23
I would be glad to even just know what bloody tags the damned thing accepts. My own native language consists mostly of glottal stops, so the unicode characters don’t bother me.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:24
You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
Oh, hell, who am I fooling. I don’t even know which comic book character that is. Sgt. Fury?
mikey
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:25
Yes! There’s a subset of HTML and a subset of Unicode that wordpress, hater of Arky is willing to put up with. And it seems like maybe there might be a list or a handbook or at least a handjob or something..
mikey
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:27
Heh. You don’t quite understand Unicode. It has characters for all the worlds’ written languages, as well as characters used in the phonetic alphabet thingy that is used by linguists to write down those clicky-types of languages. When Wikipedia isn’t busy defaming advice columnists, it can be quite fun to read, if you like nerdy-type topics like that.
Something like 16,000 characters in all.
I did look at the HTML source of this page, and “approved” Unicode shows up escaped with it’s code (like this—&#nnnn;) and the ‘?’ characters in Doctorb’s post above are hard coded into the HTML file.
In short, it’s a server thing, no hope of fixing it on our ends.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:31
Really, that’s just fine.
mextremist said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:33
what’s the difference between amy’s site’s commenters and a bag of toxic maggot-infested purulent fecal matter ?
the bag!
gracias, señoras y señores, estamos aqui toda la noche, recuerden dar propinas a sus meseras!
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:33
My own native language consists mostly of glottal stops
And when you people talk amongst yourselves, it is natural for normal people like us to suspect that you’re chuckling at us, or throwing up in your mouths.
Snorghagen said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:34
I normally communicate by farting and tap-dancing, which unfortunately cannot be conveyed through Unicode.
Ann Althouse™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:34
You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
Oh, hell, who am I fooling. I don’t even know which comic book character that is. Sgt. Fury?
mikey
Teh Hulk.
Some Guy said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:34
Wow.
Gary Ruppert is the new Sim One.
Next thing you know, Amy is going to accuse you of murdering Gary Ruppert and dumping his body, stuffed in a steamer trunk, into the lake.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:37
“normal people”? come on, nobody from south of Sheffield can understand you scots anyway. Us tykes have a better chance at it than most, unless ye a’ frae glasgie.
Gary Rupert said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:38
The fact is, I know nothing about any luscious vaginas.
Lesley said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:39
Amy rivals Althouse in the full-of-herself-dept.
Lesley said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:41
wordpress being beligerent again
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:46
From the interview Susan, she of Texas, linked to:
Amy mentions she was “the most dumped
womansquirrel in Los Angeles.”rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:48
I am completely perplexed whenever a perfectly normal snarking is interrupted by the constant arguing about brown liquors….
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:50
What are the odds that we can get the nazis to stop by this thread?
Cuz that would be twelve inches of awesome.
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:50
come on, nobody from south of Sheffield can understand you scots anyway.
My ancestral language is in fact Danish, which is not so much a language as an entire succession of glottal stops, mixed in with an occasional vowel or consonant for the sake of variety.
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:53
Amy mentions she was “the most dumped woman squirrel in Los Angeles.”
A short lived west coast band called Sordid Humor once had a song featuring the lyric “my life is filled with squirrels/ and ten million beautiful girls”
Aaaaand we know mikey, as well as Tbogg are left coasters….
Coincidence? Can we rule out a conspiracy?
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:55
I normally communicate by farting and tap-dancing, which unfortunately cannot be conveyed through Unicode.
Snorghagen, do you think nobody here speaks Tralfamadoran?
brown liquor™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:56
Lick her?
I hardly know her!
Doctor Missus Marita, Slayer of Wordpress said,
August 16, 2008 at 4:59
come on, nobody from south of Sheffield can understand you scots anyway.
There are wonderful instructional videos available to help you in this regard.
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:02
Yeah those were supposed to be Bulgarian Cyrillic characters
Cyrillic is so passé. All the cool kids are writing in Glagolitic [which is in Unicode] or Voynich-manuscript characters [which aren't].
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:04
“Amy mentions she was ‘the most dumped woman in Los Angeles.’”
I have no problem believing this.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:06
Oh man, right before Luke says “I try to bait Amy into saying something bigoted but fail miserably:
I mean, the first thing that comes to mind when you say “lesbians” is “mustachioed bulldyke” and you can’t get her to say something bigoted? You’re not a very good journalist, are you?
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:09
She only likes people who look attractive? So her self loathing is at the root of all this attention seeking then.
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:10
Amy: “I was really surprised. If I’m wrong and somebody points it out to me, I will say, OK, thank you.”
I think this recent episode kinda casts doubt on this.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:11
the first thing that comes to mind when you say “lesbians” is “mustachioed bulldyke”
I gotta disagree with you on this one.
Doctor Missus Marita, Slayer of Wordpress said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:22
Oh, dear sweet Jebus. Ms. Alkon, in her comments:
Thick as a whale omelet. Are we to take from this that even the people she considers friends are happy to set her up to look stupid?
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:25
“Now, how many racists do you know who volunteer an afternoon of their time once a month to help poor inner city kids understand that they shouldn’t get pregnant young…”
Because that is the most important way to help people in poverty.
ahem said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:26
mikey: at some point, there will be no more Port Ellen, only a memory passed down from generation to generation like the recollections of those who knew the real Gary Ruppert.
Gary Rupperts Friend™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:26
What setting up? She was already there.
Robert Waldmann said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:30
Ruppert Haiku
Be aware of all
internet traditions and
understand “Ruppert”
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:31
“The person I talked to knows one of these Gary Ruppert’s apparently. If the story of 50 people is actually true.”
I’m starting to wonder if one of her friend’s didn’t really take the piss out of her. Fucking brilliant work, if they did.
The Creeps said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:31
Don’t listen to a word she says. She’s a tranny, and a racist, and y’know, I think she’s crazy. She thinks Gary Ruppert is her friend. He’s whispering secrets in her hear through an intermediary. It’s sad, and kind of scary…
Amy Alkon said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:31
It’s kind of hilarious that there’s all this attention being paid to me. While it’s not cool to post lies about me on Wikipedia, don’t have a problem in the world with you anyone criticizing me or parodying me. In fact, I’m all for it. When you post something that’s actually funny, I’ll probably link to it.
Arky The Islahomobamaist said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:35
Amy Sez: I call shenanigans! You can’t prove the imaginary guy doesn’t exist! Charade you are, nyah nyah! etc.
Says the most dumped upon shemale in LA.
Note that I am too classy (just) to say anything about being born.
You’re welcome.
Gary Rupperts Friend™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:37
This is a serious website, Ms. Alkon. Perhaps you were looking for Three Bulls?
Amy Alkon said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:44
“Now, how many racists do you know who volunteer an afternoon of their time once a month to help poor inner city kids understand that they shouldn’t get pregnant young…”
Because that is the most important way to help people in poverty.
Actually, helping somebody to help themselves is enormously important. Showing kids who don’t have role models of what’s possible in the world that they don’t have to think about what they *can* do, but think about what they want to do, and then figure out how to make it happen, is enormously important. Telling them the reality of being a young unwed mother, especially in light of the apparent dearth of other people doing that, is enormously important. You can’t become somebody while you’re raising a bunch of kids on a fast-food restaurant salary as a 19-year-old single mom.
I have an ability to motivate kids — and I’m planning on bringing in more speakers. And I wish people who have interesting jobs, and sort of middle-class backgrounds, would do the same where they live. It costs nothing but your time, and you don’t have to get this set up in any official way, which takes a long time from proposal stage on. I just found a teacher, talked about what I wanted to talk about to the kids, and she finds me one classroom a month to talk in. I’m going to start bringing in other speakers in the fall. The kids apparently get a lot out of it — and, I was told, especially because I don’t just talk about career stuff, but about life stuff, too.
You can all set your minds on the belief that I’m a racist, but if anyone wants to start this program where they are, e-mail me and I’ll help you do it.
Gary Rupperts Friend™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:48
I’m sure they’re grateful for your advice with regards to squeezing out litters.
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:49
one classroom a month to talk in. I’m going to start bringing in other speakers in the fall. The kids apparently get a lot out of it — and, I was told, especially because I don’t just talk about career stuff, but about life stuff, too.
umm, yea, I know I’m just a fuzzy thinkin librul, you’ll probably get a lot better response if you don’t call the kids ‘litters’
a different brad said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:49
Amy?
Am I Ann Althouse?
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:51
yanno, I think I’d like it better if I wasn’t on the exact same page as Gary Ruppert’s Friend…
Litters Of Negro Children said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:51
Can anyone hook us up with a job at Burger King?
Gary Rupperts Friend™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:54
Type faster, my friends.
Friend of a friend of Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:55
The fact is, Amy and I often speak at public schools. We tell people to not spend their money on bling, to not squeeze out litters, and that it will be their own fault if a policeman ever needs to shoot them. The fact is, I can’t begin to describe how motivated this makes these kids. The fact is, many women who used to live with low-level drug dealers are now living safely on the streets in cardboard boxes, thanks to Amy’s heartfelt, non-racist advice.
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:56
What are the odds that we can get the nazis to stop by this thread?
and hey, one shows up!!!
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 5:57
I have an ability to motivate kids
It’s called fear. I threaten to stuff them in my brassiere, or eat them. Either one.
I tell them about how I had no friends. And how I don’t care if they like me.
I show them the trowel I use to put on my makeup. And I suggest that if they don’t live a careful life, a SWAT cop will shoot them and they’ll bloody well deserve what they get.
mikey
owlbear1 said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:00
Amy, you are a savior. Those children obviously would turn out to be complete failures if it weren’t for you devotion to their well being. Without you they’ll likely just getting in the way of some bullet or pump out a litter.
Such a saint, the world certainly owes you…
Doctor Missus Marita, Slayer of Wordpress said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:00
Amy Alkon said,…
The comments… they’re coming from inside the blog!
Matt T. said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:00
You can all set your minds on the belief that I’m a racist,
See, here’s what’s been lost in all this. You wrote a very racist, dumbass thing. It was. It was ignorant, bigoted, hurtful and hateful. You may not have meant for it to be racist, but it was. Now, that’s where most folks lose their minds, as you did. “You said a racist thing” is not the same as “you’re a racist”. Good, decent folks can slip and say stupid shit, they do it all the time. Instead of a screaming hissy fit like you threw – which still doesn’t mean you’re a racist, just immature – when we do this sort of dumbass shit, we should take a little time and ponder just why so many people thought your bile was the racist nonsense it was. Might learn something.
Also, doing good things (or what you consider good things, I’m feeling generous ’cause I’m stoned and just got through watching two episodes of The Ascent of Man) doesn’t mean you get a “Say Dumb Racist Shit” Free card. I’m not sure why bringing up your community work is supposed to mean you’re allowed to vomit up stupidity without criticism, but it don’t work that way.
Finally, “Advice Goddess“? Child, I do hope you get over yourself before you hurt somebody.
Cain said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:00
The idea that I am within a hundred miles of the infamous Gary Ruppert is somewhat unsettling. What if he is an advance force for the Heartland? Our soft British troops, decadent with years of free health care and atheism, will surely be overrun by the wingnuts, should they invade in force.
a different brad said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:01
The evil love child of Kathy Griffith and Sandra Bernhardt has an ability to reach kids, according to her.
I have the ability to give women orgasms with my mind.
a different brad said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:11
Oh, and I think there’s another option as to who Amy talked to about Gary.
Look at her blogroll.
We gots Patterico, Mickey Kaus and his pet goat, Roger L. Simon, and Debbie Schlussel.
Along with other names you’d recognize.
I wish I had the ability to perform illegal wiretaps, really, I do.
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:13
“Our soft British troops, decadent with years of free health care and atheism, will surely be overrun by the wingnuts, should they invade in force.”
If the last 5 years have taught us anything, it is that wingnuts don’t personally invade, in force or otherwise.
Preznit Bush said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:13
Ha ha. You wish you were me.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:14
You can all set your minds on the belief that I’m a racist, but if anyone wants to start this program where they are, e-mail me and I’ll help you do it.
I am very interested and would like to learn more about starting this racist program where I am. I would also like to receive your newsletter.
Toby Petzold said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:14
Gary Ruppert is a real person. You may not believe that, but you are entitled to your opinions. I’ve been on a conference call with Amy and Gary for the last hour or so and it’s been very interesting. We’re thinking of starting a grassroots organization to help elect John McCain for President of the United States because he’s the only candidate that can make America work right again.
I don’t want to give any details away but I’ll say this, you will soon learn to fear the PUMA because we are going to stop all this nonsense that you keep constructing and you’re going to see our way is right.
Amy sent me her real picture and she’s really pretty.
Amy Al-con said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:17
IT
BEGINS
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:18
OK, maybe it’s the half bottle of wine, maybe it’s the dog farts filling the room, but I gotta say that other than the irredeemably ugly mind, that picture up there is actually a pretty rockin bod. Tranny or no.
Yeah, I know I’m a patriarchal jerk looksist with a sammich fixation….
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:20
Dear Amy. Please lay down the “white mans burden”. You ain’t a real man, and ginger people arn’t as good as real whites anyway.
Would you like a pith helmet to go with that neo-feudalist patronising bollocks? Sure, sure.. Black people are only human if they are at least middle class, abide by your standards for respectability, and KNOW THEIR PLACE.
Which is bleeding to death on their own kitchen floor.
Classy.
Woodsy Owl said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:20
I don’t care what color anybody is. Nobody should litter!
Cain said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:20
If the last 5 years have taught us anything, it is that wingnuts don’t personally invade, in force or otherwise.
Point. But assuming they mustered the courage and left the basement to come over here on their holidays…well, the lack of Cheetos alone may make them go into nerd-rages.
Matt T. said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:20
Holy shit. Toby Petzold, now there’s a blast from the past. Still dumb as a bag of shit, too, I see.
Amy Aikon said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:22
I don’t know if I have the courage to let my comment stand at my place, so let me make sure everyone here knows;
I also go to mosques and tell the Mooooslims to stop trying to kill me. They get angry, but haven’t ended my life yet, so I’m helping them make progress.
Amy Al-Anon said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:23
I honestly don’t know why I bother with this site. I’m terribly busy you know. And none of the nitwits here have the chops to have a civilized debate with me. Also, I am a lady.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:25
Relax Cain, have you seen the exchange rates recently? The dollar being in the toilet is doing great things for the world.. Keeping American tourists at home.
SamFromUtah said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:25
…help elect John McCain for President of the United States because he’s the only candidate that can make America work right again.
Not that it isn’t perfect right now. Except for all those horrible liberals stinking up the place.
I’m sitting within six degrees of Gary Ruppert right now.
Amy Aikon said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:27
Hehehehe.
I don’t like my own bigotry, at all.
Malaclypse said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:27
“Point. But assuming they mustered the courage and left the basement to come over here on their holidays…well, the lack of Cheetos alone may make them go into nerd-rages.”
Here would be my concern, were I a Brit: you all have tons of flavors of crisps/chips that we lack. If Jonah ever hears about prawn flavoured Pringles (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pringles#Europe), well, he won’t personally invade, but he will suddenly realize the threat posed by your WMDs.
Snorghagen said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:27
It certainly is. And what’s even more important is helping those who help others to help people who help themselves, so that in helping themselves they can lend a helping hand to those who need help in helping the helpless, who are therefore helpless no longer, but are instead able to help and help and help until the whole world is covered with a thick sticky sweet-smelling layer of helpitude.
That’s what really matters in this crazy mixed-up world we live in.
ignatov said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:28
I officially nominate Doctor Missus Marita as “funniest person in the thread.”
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:29
Snorghagen just wrote a Steve Martin movie!!!!
rotten mcdonald said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:34
I officially nominate Doctor Missus Marita as “funniest person in the thread.”
yeah, but admittedly, in a thread dominated by me and Amy Alkon, that’s not a very high threshold….
Amy Alkon = Manly Oak said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:36
Anagrams are not my friend.
Pick of the Litter said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:42
Listen, you fucktards, Amy has made it clear several times, over the course of several hours, on at least two websites that she doesn’t have time read everything you write and respond to it and revert the vandalism on her Wikipedia page and write her book and tell the inner-city kids not to squeeze out such big litters. She has repeatedly taken the time to tell you she doesn’t have the time to repeatedly take the time. To tell you. So shut up and let her get back to work. Or you’ll be sorry, you low-hanging fruits!
Snorghagen said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:45
You’re going to lay off all of our nonsense construction workers?
Amy Aikon said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:50
I truly hate myself.
Heeeeeeehehehehe.
Garry Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:57
Also Amy Alkon can’t possibly racist because she takes some time out every month to give some inner-city (formerly known as “black”) kids a ridiculously inadequate mode of partial restitution, or a sentimental dole, usually accompanied by some impertinent attempt on the part of the sentimentalist to tyrannise over their private lives.
dAlkon Shield said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:57
I prevent big litters.
Toby Petzold said,
August 16, 2008 at 6:59
Holy shit. Toby Petzold, now there’s a blast from the past. Still dumb as a bag of shit, too, I see.
I am always watching the internets even when I have to walk my dog or do other things that take up my time while I am doing them.
I’m very disappointed by the internets lately, though. I feel that a good number of people are not listening to me when they should be listening to me.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 7:20
Hell, she showed up over here and I missed her? Aw, shucks.
I peeked at the thread over there and can’t believe my last comment is still the last comment. Did she close the thread? I can’t be bothered to find out. I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed. This has been a long, fun-filled day, but tomorrow I have meat world things to do. Have a lovely evening, Sadlies, no matter what Scottish poison you imbibe.
Pick of the Litter said,
August 16, 2008 at 7:24
It’s gone way past your last comment, Candy. Reload.
Or, just give up. Remember: She doesn’t have time for this.
Snorghagen said,
August 16, 2008 at 7:34
I was unaware of the existence of Toby Petzold, but now I see that his site contains some mighty fine writificating. Savor this line: Obama’s candidacy is almost hallucinatorily preposterous; a weird outburst of mass stupidity so severe that it mocks all reason.
I want ‘almost hallucinatorily preposterous’ on my tombstone.
Amy Aikon said,
August 16, 2008 at 7:35
And the paycheck. She doesn’t appreciate my need for constant praise, but she does have to indulge it to remain employed.
Lesley said,
August 16, 2008 at 7:52
Holy shit. 398 comments about this nobody on the Intertubes. Ann Althouse would die to have this much attention.
owlbear1 said,
August 16, 2008 at 8:04
Oh look!
A Creed video.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 8:20
It’s gone way past your last comment, Candy. Reload.
Oh. Oh my. I guess I didn’t refresh. Could have sworn I did.
I’m like that woman in Teh Bibble, the one who looked back and was assaulted, or became a pillar of salt, or Salt ‘n Peppa, or some such. I should have just gone to bed as I planned. Just had to take one more look.
Hümor Me said,
August 16, 2008 at 8:22
Shit!!
I meant to get in here before the first creed video. No use adding anything now.
Candy said,
August 16, 2008 at 8:38
I’m studiously ignoring the Creed video. I’m good at that.
I am going to bed now. Jebus, is that Alkon woman tweaking? She’s gotta be exhausted. You think she’ll stay up as long as there are demons to wrestle?
Well, she can stay up all night long if she wants. I’m going to bed.
zuzu's petals said,
August 16, 2008 at 8:43
And then, after lengthy discussions about, and posting of, people’s geographically cross matched IP addresses, etc., and leaving unchallenged suggestions to track them down and show up at their door, Amy posts this, without a trace of irony:
I almost said so over there, but decided against having my own IP address made public.
You stay classy, Amy.
Pick of the Litter said,
August 16, 2008 at 8:44
You’ll be back, Candy. Your dreams will be haunted by Alkon, and you’ll come scurrying back for more.
Dan Someone said,
August 16, 2008 at 8:59
I can’t be bothered to read all 400 billion comments in this thread, but I have to say that Docotrb wins the thread over at Alkon’s place, with this:
JF Sebastian said,
August 16, 2008 at 9:07
Amy Alkon speaks of “detective work”?
Good god, a blogging racist transvestite detective? This has Showtime Original Series written all over it.
Hoosier X said,
August 16, 2008 at 9:30
I am so sorry I had to work tonight and missed this evening’s festivities.
I just read Bill O’Reilly’s column for tomorrow’s paper. It’s one of his best columns ever. It may have been irrelevant and childish and utterly useless in just about every way imaginable, but he was taking on an easy target – Vladmir Putin – so it wasn’t offensive, and the batshit insanity was down a notch.
Good job, Bill-O.
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 9:44
Good god, a blogging racist transvestite detective?
Dario Fo has already written the script.
Smut Clyde said,
August 16, 2008 at 9:47
If Jonah ever hears about prawn flavoured Pringles
That reminds me, I need to patent the concept of Long-pig flavoured Pringles.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 10:01
Oh look!
A Creed video.
I can assure you, my friends, that this was not a Creed video. Please click on the link.
Hümor Me said,
August 16, 2008 at 10:08
My eyes!
You bastard!
Righteous Bubba said,
August 16, 2008 at 10:15
Iced Snake Chyle with Moist Chilled Malted Cereal Syrups
Ingredients:
1 part biological snake chyle
3 shots harmonious malted cereal syrup, stirred
6 jiggers moldy London gin, grated
Stir all ingredients awedly with ice, strain contents observingly into a scrawny pail and serve.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 10:23
We’re all Gary Ruppert now
mextremist said,
August 16, 2008 at 10:36
Pick of the Litter for the nguyen!
malfunctioning amy alkon trannie-robot said,
August 16, 2008 at 10:42
i’m not a racist! you guys are bad liberals because you make fun of trannies. plus, i hate catholics and muslims. here’s proof, check out my other instances of inane hateful milquetoast social commentary! i’m not a racist! you guys are bad liberals because you make fun of trannies. plus, i hate catholics and muslims. here’s proof, check out my other instances of inane hateful milquetoast social commentary!i’m not a racist! you guys are bad liberals because you make fun of trannies. plus, i hate catholics and muslims. here’s proof, check out my other instances of inane hateful milquetoast social commentary!i’m not a racist! you guys are bad liberals because you make fun of trannies. plus, i hate catholics and muslims. here’s proof, check out my other instances of inane hateful milquetoast social commentary!i’m not a racist! you guys are bad liberals because you make fun of trannies.
anthony said,
August 16, 2008 at 11:10
I have an ability to motivate kids
Job Centre With Pauline
islmfaoscist said,
August 16, 2008 at 12:57
Just moments after this candid shot was taken, Amy finally achieved her dream of becoming a vampire.
Gary Ruppert said,
August 16, 2008 at 14:42
The fact is, I don’t know this woman from Adam.
Athenawise said,
August 16, 2008 at 14:48
I stopped reading Amy because her advice was too screaming-queen contrived and precious with an underlying lack of compassion. Ultimately, her “all-about-me” writing became an annoyance.
And, yes, all along I wondered if she was a tranny.
Mary Ruppert™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 15:47
Come now, Gary. You remember Amy from the playground, don’t you?
Susan of Texas said,
August 16, 2008 at 15:57
Except she was called Andy. And she was faaaaaaabulous.
MzNicky said,
August 16, 2008 at 16:40
Phooey. Why do I always miss all the funnest parties?
[pouts, frowns, turns light out]
Dan Someone said,
August 16, 2008 at 17:39
OK, either she’s playing along with the joke or she’s totally unaware. I report, you decide. (From the thread over there.)
Amy Aikon said,
August 16, 2008 at 17:51
MzNicky, she’s still at it. She only took about a 4 hour break during the night.
There’s plenty of fun still to be had.
Now she’s patting herself on the back for not being victimized by us evil liberal fascists who are trying to victimize her by winding her up for laughs.
And I thought Ann Althouse and Megan McArdle were insecure, woof.
Amy Aikon said,
August 16, 2008 at 18:00
And she’s in the thread right now, deleting comments.
owlbear1 said,
August 16, 2008 at 18:08
And she’s in the thread right now, deleting comments.
They have no idea how pathetic that makes them look , do they?
gocart mozart said,
August 16, 2008 at 18:33
Dear Amy Alkon,
Amy, you falsely and maliciously accused my client, the one true Gary, of vandalizing your precious wikipedia entry. This has caused irreparable harm to his reputation and livelihood.
Gary was very proud to have founded the prestigious “Advanced Institute for the Elimination of Trollery, LLC” He devoted his life to this just cause in an attempt to atone for his past sins. It was the largest such institution in all of blogotopia. Furthermore, most of his students were poor inner city kids with dead moms and drug dealing dads.
It is with great sadness that I must inform you that Gary’s business is defunct as of today and Gary is now on suicide watch. All because of your actions.
Your blog is available worldwide. Under the precedent of “International Shoe” and its progeny, suit against you can be brought in any jurisdiction. Please provide me with a valid address and name for service of process. Has not Gary sufered enough?
Respectfully,
Vincent Baggadonuts, Esq.
pro bono
pro hoc vici
pro philactic
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 18:45
Wait, so you quash speech by not deleting comments, and you stand up for it by threatening frivolous lawsuits? I’ve been going about this all wrong.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 18:49
I believe Gary Ruppert’s Friend™³²®© would be happy to file brief of an amicus curiae (or amicus rupperteria, as the case may be), gocart.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 18:52
Oh man, she’s getting material for her book out of this blog post? How many pages do you think she can get out of “some anonymous kid kept editing my wikipedia entry to say I was a transsexual, which I am not, and then a bunch of jerks kept commenting on a thread I started about it and posted to fifty times, but I really didn’t care and thought it was hilarious”? Do you think it’ll be a chapter? The chapter called
CHAPTER VII, in which some anonymous kid keeps editing my wikipedia entry to say I was a transsexual, which I am not, and then a bunch of jerks keep commenting on a thread I started about it and posted to fifty times, and in which I really don’t care and think it is hilarious.
Cletus von Clausewitz said,
August 16, 2008 at 18:57
She reserves the right to publish/”out” your information if you do anythin illegal OR you “ruin the discussion forum”. That there’s some stringent standards to meet for Princess Petulant.
Luke: “Have you ever dated a black man?”
Amy gets a guilty smile: “Yes. For about six months.
Guys, she can’t be bigoted against African-Americans because she fucked a black dude. Lotsa times. She was supposed to accomplish this while she was still in college, but hey, she gets it crossed off her list eventually.
Brendan said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:03
Attn: Investor Relations
On a blog of uncertain gender, you recently said:
You have full permission to speak on my behalf about Amy Alkon.
Not that she’ll be able to hear it, what with all the other voices in her head clamoring for attention, but everything you said on that post was absolutely spot-on. And thanks, particularly, for saying something about her Malkin-like tactics to publish every bit of personal information she gets her hands on. I don’t care about me, specifically, but I resent the tactics on principle.
I have to ask, though: How come you get to keep posting comments, and I got banned after only two? Do you have more pictures of her that we should know about? Because if there’s one thing we fascist liberals like better than censorship, it’s blackmail.
gocart mozart's mom said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:14
That should have been central to my point ifthethunderdontgetya.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:14
She’s deleting comments en masse now. Just saw three in a row go down the memory hole.
Ah, Amy… you’re in the pantheon, now…
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:17
It’s ok, I saved the page. Multiple times.
Anybody wants a copy let me know.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:21
Her last post is priceless; she allows, even encourages people to criticize her or her ideas, but if someone posts something she deems unrelated to “the issues,” she freaks out like a bee flew up her nostril.
I love her so much right now, I’m crying.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:22
Aaaaaand… comments closed!
Who had 10:20am her local time in the pool?
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:22
Aaand she closed comments. I’m surprised it took that long, although I am in no way complaining.
I think we all owe Righteous Bubba a beer or something, because without his poking at the beehive, we would have been without this epic thread.
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:27
Pssst…new thread.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:27
Aw, comments are closed. As a reasonable person might have done, oh, two hundred comments earlier. Although a reasonable person wouldn’t have written a “bitch had it coming” article, or claimed that someone responded to it by going ten days back in time and editing her wiki biography.
Really, come to think of it, a reasonable person wouldn’t be such a Mary Worth either.
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:27
FYWP
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:28
She has a new thread up….Wordpress being the liberal fascist it is won’t let me link to it.
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:30
Forbidden
You don’t have permission to access /mt4/mt-comments.cgi on this server.
Apache/2.0.63 (Unix) Server at http://www.advicegoddess.com Port 80
Awwww, my first ban!
jim said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:31
Ohhhh fuuuuck noooooo!
Itburnsitburnsitburnsitburnsitburns!
Death, merciful death – please, come quickly!
AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!
Oh, hey, wait – that was a METAPHOR, right?
Whew! Close one.
stryx said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:35
So I think we’re at the point where we do an after-action debriefing.
I like to start off by proposing that, here after, someone who gets pwn3d publicly, participates vigorously in their own pwning, then upon realizing the fact of the pwning, claims that it was all a lark while furiously removing the evidence and threatening lawsuits, shall be referred to as ‘going Alkon.’
“Jonah totally fell for the bait, but he eventually figured it out and went Alkon on us.”
gocart mozart's mom said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:36
It would appear that that great champion of free speech has banned me from her site. Since I have lost my commenting privileges over there, I will post my comment here. Amy if you read this please respond at the more freedom loving site of Sadly, No!
“. . . an attempt to mess up my site and intimidate me and punish me for speaking in a way not approved by “progressives.” says Amy.
O.K. Amy, you want a reasoned discussion, I’ll bite. How are you being intimidated or punished for your speech? Give examples. Someone messed with your wiki profile, you insult people and they mock you back. You cry “Help I’m being oppressed!” Isn’t their speech just as valuable as yours?
It appears that Sadly, No! Investor Relations has nailed you to a tee – metaphorically speaking of course.
gocart mozart said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:37
That was me, not my mom.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:42
It appears that Sadly, No! Investor Relations has nailed you to a tee
Waitaminute. Amy is only 3 centimeters tall? How did I miss that noteworthy fact?
mikey
Speedy said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:46
While this whole thing has provided hours of endless laughter for all , someone shold be a sport and take a ladder and a claw hammer and help poor Amy down off her cross.
gocart mozart said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:49
FYI, the only thing I posted over there was the silly fake lawsuit threat on behalf of the real Gary Ruppert (see crosspost upthread), and for that I get banned!!? And she claims to have a sense of humor, to be tolerant, and to respect free speech. Not very self aware is she?
Whoever is/was posting over there as “Sadly, No! Investor Relations”, kudos and very prophetic.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:50
Damn. Now I have to get some work done.
Amy, you’re the best.
gocart mozart said,
August 16, 2008 at 19:55
Her penis is only 3 centimeters mikey, and that was what was nailed. I should have been more clear. She does claim to have bigger balls than us which is odd coming from someone allegedly of the female persuasion.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 20:02
You say “only” like it’s a bad thing. I assure you, I’m perfectly adequate for whatever tasks Amy requires of me.
Hoosier X said,
August 16, 2008 at 20:06
Lay off the tranny angle.
If Amy Alkon feels more comfortable as a woman, we should respect that and support her in every way possible.
Do whatever feels good, Amy! I’m in your corner!
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 20:26
I guess it’s sort of funny: while I was writing that there’s no law against exercising prior restraint on your own blog’s comments, I was banned.
What a thin-skinned authoritarian sentimentalist.
Doctorb said,
August 16, 2008 at 20:31
Actually it’s strange, because earlier she was specifically saying that I was, you know, debating ideas, which she welcomed and enjoyed (although I suspect that was really just because of my transparent appeal to her vanity). I guess she doesn’t really welcome all those dissenting opinions, but has a sentimental attachment to the idea of being open to a frank exchange of views.
The Kenosha Kid said,
August 16, 2008 at 20:36
There’s been a plan to punish and intimidate me for writing in a non-”progressive” party approved manner, both by mucking up my comments here and by posting defamatory material on Wikipedia.
Shouldn’t this be the new “I am aware of all internet traditions?”
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 20:57
Exactamundo, Doctorb. I’m the same way; I love humanity, the idea of humanity; it’s each and every individual person that I can’t fucking stand.
Lesley said,
August 16, 2008 at 20:59
I have to say, at the risk of being pummelled by the giggly people who are thrilled by their own tranny comments, that those slurs are hurtful and unnecessary and I can’t agree with whoever posted that shit on her wikipedia page is a human being I would want to spend time with. Isn’t there enough about this asshole to ridicule without suggesting that she isn’t a woman? I’ve checked out numerous photos of this person and while she’s certainly androgynous looking, who the fuck cares?
I dunno, I agree with everything else but the ongoing attacks on her sexuality strike me as exceptionally juvenile.
mikey said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:03
Exceptionally juvenile comments?
On Sadly, No?
Oh gawd, tell me it isn’t so!!
mikey
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:04
Frightening how many of her regular commentators have swallowed doughboy’s pantload.
I doubt any have read the book, not that it is in any way readable.. They just spread the primary meme around, and grasp on it as moral justification.
Oh noes! a liberal was nasty to me on the internet. They must be Hitler!
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:10
I put the D in DFH bitches. Fuck yeah.
zuzu's petals said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:21
Seems like personal harassment is an Amy trademark:
I stalk, therefore I am
Oh, and did she mention that she once wrote a “dialogue polish”?! Suck on that, plebes!
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:24
I’m pretty sure what she wrote was “Polish dialogue.”
owlbear1 said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:25
I’ve checked out numerous photos of this person and while she’s certainly androgynous looking, who the fuck cares?
Obviously Amy does…
gocart mozart said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:25
The funny thing is that I made a comment about Amy Alcon’s penis with no foreknowledge that her penis would comment before me. Should that be foreskinknowledge? Does she have a three centimeter long psychic penis?
That is the title of my new novel by the way. “Three Centimeter Long Psychic Penis.” Now available at Amazon.com and all fine and not so fine bookstores in your area. Ask for it by name.
gocart mozart said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:33
“Frightening how many of her regular commentators have swallowed doughboy’s pantload.”
Sockpuppet #47, Damn you straight to hell. Before I puke let me just say that you are disgracing the names of 46 other sockpuppets who would never deign to stoop to your level. Death is to good for you. You should be sentenced to sitting next to a drunk Amy Alcon on a 24 hour coach flight.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:46
Her sycophants are stepping it up. I’m so goddamn happy now I could burst.
Ted Numgent™³²®© said,
August 16, 2008 at 21:47
This seems relevant.
I can’t explain why.
J— said,
August 16, 2008 at 22:42
Holy shit. One night at the beach and look at what I missed. Gary is the mastermind? The fact is, I never would have suspected Sadly, No! was right-wing agitprop.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 22:50
It’s like Deathtrap, but without Teh Ghey!
Lesley said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:12
amy has not deleted my comment but she has banned me from commenting further. apparently saying gary doesn’t exist is offensive and rule breaking.
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:30
OMG, you guys—she got pwned by someone using Tor:
Look at the comments over there. She thinks she has a bunch of Europeans after her blog.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:30
Worse news, Lesley: it also means no presents on Gary Ruppert Day.
You have to believe in Gary Ruppert, or he won’t visit.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:32
Whatever, Simba, that just shows how covered in feces you are.
Prolly not even your own feces.
Amy Aikon said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:32
Wow.
She really doesn’t understand she’s making certain this will never end, does she?
Hell, she put up a nice ole scary Mooooooooslim post, too.
New toys are fun.
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:41
Yeeeah. She put up another Muslim comment, calling it a “death cult”, after “Gary Ruppert” (alright, I’ll admit, it was me who got her with Tor—boring Saturday afternoon, what better to do?) explained that she’d been had.
Again.
Amy Aikon said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:45
I…. love this.
J— said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:54
There’s been a plan to punish and intimidate me…
That’s right, and Gary Ruppert is the brains behind it. He’s like Keyser Söze and Karla from Smiley’s People rolled into one. Your only hope is George Smiley. But wait, Smiley comments here, which means he, too, is controlled by Gary Ruppert. Sorry, no hope. No escape.
Simba B said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:55
This, in particular, is priceless—
She’s writing a book about how she overreacted to a bunch of Internet trolls from a comedy blog and said a bunch of racist things. I’m not sure how you frame that one to be favorable to the author…
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 16, 2008 at 23:57
I am unable to discern whether she actually believes that people are acting under “orders” to sabotage her pretty, pretty website, or if she is repeating the charge in hopes of convincing others of this canard.
Regardless, I’m guessing that “ordering” the denizens of this crayon-and-feces-infested pit would be similar to herding cats.
Amy Aikon said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:05
I order all the denizens of Sadly, No! to change their underwear every hour on the hour, and to wear their underwear on the outside, so we can check.
MoonBot 5000 (patent pending) said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:09
Practitioners who follow the Pa Doe (wrong) path are known for their egotism, jealousy, and lack of honor, morals, discipline and stability. Their selfishness and tendency toward instigating trouble cause them to believe in a distortion of reality that is far from the truth.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:11
Horsefeathers. I’m never changing my underwear again.
For spite.
zuzu's petals said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:15
I don’t know who provides her web hosting service, but it wouldn’t surprise me if they would view posting the IP addresses of commenters as a no-no.
Not to mention unethical. But I think she is way beyond mere ethical considerations, don’t you?
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:18
Amy Alkon, whose job description includes the word “goddess”, is above your petty ethics.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:33
I went for a prairie trail walk today, got lots of fresh sun-washed air filled with the honey scent of a thousand flowers, the peaceful droning of bees and the song of many birds, had really good authentic Mexican comida, developed and then got rid of a migraine, and yet, like the strains of a song you just can’t quite get out of your head, this most entertaining of threads kept wafting its way into my thoughts.
It’s too bad we can’t lure some of her dumb-ass regulars over here. I found teasing the wooden-headed brian to be excellent sport and would enjoy seeing him frothing over here. Also, some of the more racist commenters really need the kind of beatdown one can administer when one doesn’t have to fear being banned just when things are getting good.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:36
But I think she is way beyond mere ethical considerations, don’t you?
I think we might have pushed the poor dear right over the edge. I wouldn’t like to turn my back to her if she had access to sharp implements.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:38
Tolya.
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:40
Posted in its full wingnutty brilliance. Have at it, I read the whole thing and now I need to lie down for a spell.
“I’m most shocked at how sleazy these people are, and how they’ve come here in this mob to try to punish me for speech with which they don’t agree. Some creep named Brendan just posted a copy of the time-stamps of the corrections I made in my Wikipedia page, everytime these tiny jackbooted thugs posted another lie on the page. Finally, Wikipedia had to lock the page. Here’s what Brendan wrote:
Which one of these things is not like the other? Option 1: You can’t be a newspaper columnist and a blogger and be all sensitive about what people say about you, and I’m not.
And here’s my response: “I’m talking about people’s opinions, not people posting lies that can damage the career I’ve built as a columnist, journalist, and author. Again, I celebrate and will even defend your right to put up a blog criticizing my work. That’s free speech, and I’m a fervent supporter of it. Are you really that dim that you don’t understand the difference between posting career-damaging lies and posting opinion? Or is this the best you can do at trying to kneecap somebody with sleazy criticism, and you took what you had?”
If I’m for anything, it’s for the truth. This little mob coming over from the Sadly Pathetic self-described “liberal/progressive” site, they kept posting in the comments that I was “lying” about something about somebody named “Gary Ruppert” — really mention of the guy seems to just be a way to hijack my comments section and turn it into some attack site against people they disagree with (me), just like the hundred of comments denigrating me and others they disagree with on theirs. I find the efforts to intimidate me, to punish me for my unpermitted speech (at least in terms of what they agree with), just shockingly disgusting.
I have a friend in Beverly Hills, probably one of three Republicans, who had her Vote Bush signs stolen repeatedly in the last election. I did not vote for Bush; I voted for that sleazebag Kerry, but I am shocked by any effort to silence speech, and in the current election, I’m going to help her catch the people who will surely steal her McCain signs. P.S. She’s no dope. She has a dog with a head the size of Lucy, which puts out a rather large quantity of excrement every day. In the past, she watered it down in a bucket and made a rather large moat around the sign. So…if they got away with their signs, there was still the bill for new car carpeting, I suppose, and I just love that.
Posted by: Amy Alkon at August 16, 2008 6:46 AM
Uncle Mike said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:41
First rule of Gary Ruppert is: you do not talk about Gary Ruppert.
Amy Aikon said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:42
So…
how many times can she ban me?
She’s already about halfway to Rick Moran’s record, and in under 24 hours.
Darth Grabass said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:43
Now she’s ranting about Islam and “primitive lands” in the comments of her new thread in order to further prove she’s not racist. This just gets better and better:
“Islam isn’t a race, it’s a death cult. There are blonde, blue-eyed Muslims.
I used to think of Muslims like I thought of astrologers, as people who believe in silly, uproven crap — until 9/11, which took place just blocks from my old New York City apartment. Then I started reading about Islam, including translations from the Quran, a book which commands Muslims to convert or kill anyone who isn’t Muslim, and to murder anyone who is an apostate. To be against this sort of thing isn’t racist, it’s civilized.
And no, not all Muslims are of this ilk — many are as secular as Christmas Christians. But, far too many want you and me dead because we are “the infidel.” That said, I don’t hate Muslims. I just don’t want to let them do what the Quran commands, and if they are going to do what the Quran commands, I prefer that they do it in Saudi Arabia and other primitive lands.”
zuzu's petals said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:46
Well, at least one of the commenters (an SNer with common sense?) quickly educated her about the universality of yard sign theivery, with a quick link to Snopes.
Election Sign Theft
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:58
Her friend “has a dog with a head the size of Lucy” and said dog shits a lot so she made a moat of dog shit around her McCain sign so be warned Sadly Noers, don’t steal McCain signs or at least check for dog shit moats first as a precaution. Word to the wise and all that.
She voted for that “sleazebag Kerry”, WTF? She brags about voting for someone she calls a sleazebag. Tells you all you need to know about her.
“Dog with head the size of Lucy” seems like it should be a big fat hanging curveball over the middle of the plate but . . . strangely, I got nothing.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:59
Well, by my standards, Saudi Arabia IS a primitive land. But so is the USA.
For the sake of fairness, I also have to say that Christianity is a load of backwards, evil, rubbish too. Since they too, believe in heaven and martyrdom, I think they qualify as a death cult.
Come to think of it, what religion ISN’T obsessed with death?
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 1:24
“Islam isn’t a race”, on this point she is correct. When mooslems say “fast”, they mean abstain from eating not speed.
“. . . it’s a death cult”? Aren’t Christians the ones who worship the execution of a man and commemorate said death by wearing a tiny representation of his killing around their necks? Oh, and eat his flesh and drink his blood during mass.
mikey said,
August 17, 2008 at 1:26
Whaaa?
Lucy Ricardo has a perfectly normal sized head.
Why would it be noteworthy if you had a dog with a head the size of Lucy…
OH!!
Not “…with a head the size of Lucy’s HEAD…”
Her dog’s head is like 5 foot 6, 135 pounds.
That would be about, what, a fifteen hundred pound dog? Damn, sistah, I guess he DOES shit a lot. Damn, you’d need a front end loader to pick up his crap…
mikey
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 1:33
for a gutsy sexually liberated “fiscally conservative” (tsk tsk) libertarian she’s awfully weeny.
it’s her party and she’ll ban if she wants to but someone should tell her that she’s the fascistic one. i mean she’s sitting over there on her piddly throne banning people left right and centre and simultaneously whining that the bannees who no longer have a voice on her blog are taping her mouth shut?
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 1:34
The dog shits a lot because she feeds it Vitameatavegamin everyday.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBcdRDB14e0
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 1:39
The dog shits a lot because all he eats is Vitameatavegamin. I think this was central to her point.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBcdRDB14e0
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 1:39
Ann Althouse
Amy Alkon
Alcoholics Anonymous
Makes me sorry I joined the third one. I’ll choke whenever I say “AA.”
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 1:42
Your dog would shit a lot too if all you fed it was Vitameatavegamin. This may have been central to her point. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBcdRDB14e0
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 1:42
I wonder if I’m banned. I just don’t feel like going over there to find out. I’m afraid my migraine will come back.
What I find fascinating is that this ineffectual, insecure, vindictive, shallow woman who has no sense of justice nor any trace of personal insight whatsoever . . . is an “Advice Goddess.”
Irony vanished while on vacation and was never heard from again.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:13
Over 500 comments here; impossible to tell how many on her blog, since so many just go down the memory hole.
I’m giddy as a schoolboy!
Fecal Matters for America said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:21
“They log in, pinch off these tiny turds of hatred, zip up their pants and go away again.”
“This is a busy little mob, apparently gathering somewhere to plot to put little turds up on my site.”
“You know, if I were European, I’d be a lot more worried about Islam’s encroachment in my society than following orders to put little turds on my site all day”
“The last two are from the same tiny little turd”
“This is the behavior of a thinking person — all too rare around these parts, what with the order to the “progressives” to come over here and drop turds.”
“If we all agreed here, it would be as dull as it is when the adult teenager or teenagers comes over and leaves their tiny turds.”
“You’re just a wee turd, and I’m sure every night when you go to bed, that thought must occur to you and really burn you.”
“It seems to me that few of the people squeezing out their little “progressive” Kilroy-was-here turds all over my site have given any thought to what I’ve actually written”
“One of the turds responds, as expected:”
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:25
Did you realize that we’re not welcome there? Perhaps we should leave – she did say “please” after all.
Fecal Matters for America said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:28
She’s a size queen anyway, you “tiny little troll.”
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:29
… she didn’t seem to want to “Discuss”
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:36
…aaaaaaaand …now I’m banned. So here’s my comment:
“You see neon the bible and the torah are considered to be products of the time.
The quran is considered to be timeless and the laws and rules about killing infidels are just as relevent now to the religion as thery were centuries ago”
…perhaps you should run this by some of your Christian and Jewish friends to get some comment on the relative timelessness of the Torah, Bible, and Koran.
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:41
ckc that was a cheap shot. No wonder you were banned. Playing the intellectual honesty card and all. What were you thinking?
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:49
I went over there and caught up on my reading . . . sadly, I’m back to being depressed by her and her band of faithful flunkies, as I was after the initial thread, before we discovered that Gary Lives! and the darkness burst ablaze with comedy fireworks. Most of her commenters are just so incredibly dense.
I’ve been ruined by Sadly,No!, World-O-Crap, Orcinus, and Pharyngula. I’m used to an intelligent commentariat. I find it dismal that the Alkonites are so obtuse. You can’t even tease them successfully, because they’re not smart enough to realize they’re being had. Hell, they’re not even smart enough to come over here and see where their tormenters are coming from.
David J, brian, et al . . . how do they survive the rigors of daily life? They think the Sadlies are a European horde, then they think it’s all one person. (Note: Amy never tries to enlighten them about assumptions they’re making she knows damned good and well are wrong. She’s letting down her own little band of worshipers, confident they’re too dumb to tumble to it. She has absolutely no ethics.)
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 17, 2008 at 2:59
But did ckc deal the intelllectual honesty card from the bottom of the deck?
Lena said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:03
I thought this was a progressive leaning site when I clicked the link on Crooks and Liars. Nothing like seeing myself and other transgender people debased so callously (and thoroughly) in order to attack some obscure internet advice columnist.
Needless to say, this is a one stop deal for me.
Sincerely,
“It”
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:05
Well, I did forget to say “look over there!” when I was dealing. I am disappointed – I don’t comment much, so being banned when I was just starting to have fun is a bummer. I’ll have to learn more patience and subtlety.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:06
to be fair, she didn’t really get ban-happy until today. We drove her a little off her chump, I think. She’s snapped.
Gary Ruppert's Comedian Dog said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:07
The fact is , I think the regular commenters at Ms.Alkon’s site are great…..for me to POOP on.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:09
But Gary, they think it’s fudge sauce.
Simba B said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:09
Lena—provided you are being honest, I think you’ll find that the folks here are some of the most tolerant and progressive you’ll find anywhere but you have to be able to laugh at yourself, take (what is ultimately) good-natured ribbing, etc. etc.
In short, it’s not for everyone but please don’t think we mean any true malice, for that is not the case.
Darth Grabass said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:15
Built by primitives:
http://www.subtire.com/i.php?n=1213619904dreACJQ.jpg
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:15
[hugs Simba]
Lena said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:20
Simba,
Yes, I am being honest. No, I don’t find it funny or even something I need to learn to laugh at; especially not when there are so many others ready and willing to take up the cause for me.
I can laugh at certain things dealing with transitioning and am not above making jokes myself. I just don’t think certain things here were said with the best intentions. The whole “he/it LOL” mindset is humiliating.
If you can try and see it from my perspective, it starts off horribly with Clif’s post and only goes downhill in the comments. The whole premise is that this woman is a lot like me, and therefor she should be insulted and embarrassed. Ouch, ya know?
[Clif adds: My original post accused her of being a wannabe-Bette-Midler, not of being transgendered. And in my follow up post I explicitly said that I thought she was a drag queen, not a transgender. Both of those are fair targets of ridicule, in my view. In all events, the transgender thing didn't start with my post but with somebody adding that to her Wikipedia listing.]
Gary Ruppert's Comedian Dog said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:20
“But Gary, they think it’s fudge sauce.”
The fact is , Brian still thinks they’re Tootsie Roll Mini’s.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:27
And while I’m doling out hugs, I shall also give one to Lena, if she wants one.
Anyone else need hugging?
Not you, Gary.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:33
I could use a hug, hanx!
Zarquon said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:33
Shorter thread: Amy Alkon, advice goddess? Sadly, no!
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:35
Here is the thing though. Dick jokes are funny. Inside every human being is a 13yrold boy that finds genitalia jokes funny.
We didn’t start this. Whoever changed that Wiki page was the one that brought transexuality and gender identity into it. We are just the ones willing to mock that horrible bitch with anything and everything we can find to throw at her. Sacred cows are to be barbecued in the name of the almighty snark.
When you get down to it, she DOES behave like she has penis envy issues, so it fits nicely.
And she is so easy to wind up, who could resist? Just stick the key in her back and watch her go..
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:35
[hugs™³²®©]!!!!
Feel better, ITTDGY?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:38
Yes.
:)
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:41
I’m going to the store now to buy ice cream but a hug would be nice too!
The fact is , Brian still thinks they’re Tootsie Roll Mini’s.
As we used to say, back in the day, some of ol’ brian’s dogs ain’t barkin’.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:43
OK!
[hugs Candy]
You’re free to share that ice cream, if you’d like.
I like that Ms. Alkon got all indignant because someone posted a parody of brian as “brain”. She has no appreciation of the subtleties of comedy.
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:44
Mr Grabass sir, where is that photo from? Will that be the tallest building?
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:45
I could use a hug too :(
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:47
OMG, you guys—she got pwned by someone using Tor:
Look at the comments over there. She thinks she has a bunch of Europeans after her blog.
I thought that was fantastic too, Simba. She keeps bragging about her detective ability. I think we should give her a nickname to honor her sleuthing skills.
How about Encyclopedia
BrownGinger?mikey said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:47
Oh, c’mon Lena. Let’s try a little straight up honesty. This started with a woman bleeding out on her kitchen floor, shot to death by a cop for having the gall to be in the wrong place. And that was ok with Amy. More than ok, justified.
You wanna argue gender identity? Great. Bless your heart. But if you want to be taken even remotely seriously, your fucking gender issues are spit compared to dying under fire in your own house at the hands of people who are supposed to protect you for no reason at all.
Let’s figure out how to rank these things. Life and death? Let’s call that an eight. Gender identity? Let’s call that a two.
Now, deal with the woman who was shot with her baby in her arms for NO FUCKING REASON and then we’ll be interested in who you fucking want to be when you grow up.
It’s not that I don’t have sympathy. It’s just that it’s kind of occupied right now. I think you’ll be ok. Mostly because you aren’t the one with a bullet in your chest.
Sheesh…
mikey
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:47
Thanks, Doc! :-)
I’ll bring back gallons of ice cream. There’s a black raspberry swirl in white chocolate that is to die for. You’ll dig it!
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 3:48
[hugs gocart mozart]
Hooray!
Lena said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:00
Mikey,
I’m sorry you lack the capacity to care, intellectually or empathetically, with only one event at a time. I’m sure my day will be made when my gender identity finally moves its way up the queue to when you actually care.
The fact is you’re right that taking action against unjust murder is more important than sensitivity towards people in my position. I just wasn’t aware they could only exist one at a time. I don’t care for your made up reality in which I’m demanding everyone drop it and only care about me.
My point, if you would care to stop and think and not respond with hostility, is that this is unnecessary friendly fire. From what I’ve seen of this woman, I find her completely abhorrent. Exponentially so after what you said regarding her opinions on the death by cop. But instead of coming here and maybe joining in to speak out, I’m left wondering why the best way at combating this person is by making her the same as me.
You probably wouldn’t need to have this explained if the same situation happened and the response was to edit her wiki page to say she was black, followed by a post and a bunch of comments using common derogative stereotypes and slurs about black people. Being black isn’t exactly a pejorative, right? Well, neither should being trans.
In the future, if you want my gender identity to stay out of your righteous indignation, you should say something about 540 posts prior when all the unnecessary coupling of this disgusting woman with my condition began; not when someone finally decides to speak up.
Sockpuppet #47 said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:10
Lena: We don’t KNOW who vandalised that Wiki. We have no idea who brought gender identity into it.
Some unknown person changes her wiki to say she is a tranny.
She looses her rag, and accuses us of doing it.
We take the mock.
How can we take gender identity out of it when HER being offended about somebody calling her a tranny is the reason it started?
It isn’t like we decided to pull this out at random just to get at her. She displayed that weakness.. She showed she was sensitive about being labeled as a tranny (hey, if she wasn’t a bigot why would it have bothered her in the first place?) All we did was prod the wound a bit, because that is what we do.
These wingnuts are like things that wash up on the beach. Smelly, rotting unidentifiable things. We are merely the kid who prods it with a stick.
Simba B said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:16
Lena—this is going to sound harsh, but we tend to deal in reality here, even if it means hurting people’s feelings: You need to get over yourself. You’ve clearly got a chip on your shoulder, and you need some perspective. This post was never meant to personally offend you, and frankly, that it did isn’t really our problem. This post had nothing to do with you, and that you see it as a personal affront indicates to me that you aren’t going to listen to any of the arguments that mikey presented (and trust me, we’ve had this debate fifty kajillion times before, look up the keyword ’sammich’ on this site to get some idea) about priorities. Identity politics is a tricky thing to deal with in the world of political snark, and the reality of a site like this is that there are going to be causalities in the feelings department. We tend to think that people saying that a single, unwed, black mother who had done nothing wrong deserved to die by a cop’s bullet merits more of our care and attention than your gender identity, and if you can’t see the relative seriousness of one over the other, then my recommendation is that you make good on your first comment about this being a “one stop” and not come back….not because we don’t want you here but because you probably won’t enjoy your visits here. Like I said, not for everyone, so maybe this kind of a site isn’t for you. That’s OK, just move on and get on with your life, no big deal.
mikey said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:18
Nope. You’re dead right, Lena.
I’ve seen violent death. And I classify it as a more significant problem than who you are, who you fuck, or who you marry.
Frankly? Yeah, I actually care about these issues.
But it’s triage, and you’ve gotta get that. So yeah, I’m a bit harsh.
We gotta find a way to stop the KILLING before we can clear a space where we can be who we want to be.
You have your own issues. I get that. But survival is built on prioritization. And if you can’t understand the difference between being murdered in your home and having the space to express your sexual identity, I’m sorry, I don’t have time for you…
mikey
Lena said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:18
I understand that this didn’t begin here. It’s just that I happen to believe capitalizing on it suggests a certain amount of agreement that it’s an insult. Along the same vein of the constant suggestions among “progressives” that Ann Coulter is a man. I mean really? The best way to get at these idiots is to compare them to people who just want to go about their business without being judged and harassed?
Obviously I’m complaining here because, as I said, this is supposed to be a progressive place and I’d like to put my point of view out there so that maybe people can consider where I’m coming from. When you catch me lecturing the mouth breathers at RedState or Free Republic, kindly put me out of my misery.
Lena said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:19
Mikey,
Easy solution: stop making time for me. : )
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:20
capitalizing on it suggests a certain amount of agreement that it’s an insult.
No. It suggest that going loopy over it is silly.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:20
I, for one, do not enjoy my visits here, but I just can’t help myself. I keep hoping the cool kids will let me eat at their table.
Alas, all they do is pants me, trashcan me, and turn my backpack inside-out.
Hoosier X said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:23
Please stay, Lena.
It’s not all insensitive gender identity jokes, thought that does happen from time to time.
We are the least politically correct people on the planet. (And don’t forget, conservatives are the most politically correct people on the planet – when it suits them. They just disguise it with code words and call you uncivil or intolerant.)
Sorry we tackled a sacred cow. Sometimes people get gored.
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:25
Lena:
I’m on your side re the use of gender identity as an attack point – not to excuse it here, but you should be aware that some of Amy’s friends take it more seriously, viz:
[a pleasant fellow named "brian" says]
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:36
Do we all get a prize if this post gets to 1000 comments? If so, what will it be? Oh boy! Oh boy! I can’t wait.
I feel better after the hug Doctor Missus, thanks.
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:36
I order all the denizens of Sadly, No! to change their underwear every hour on the hour,
What are these “underwear” of which you speak?
Lena said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:37
Thanks ckc. I’m really not trying to compare people here to those at Amy’s site. I’m certain there’s a significant tolerance gap between the two groups.
I have my opinions on how people should be treated and so I expressed them. I’m sorry the suggestion has been that I should leave because I don’t see eye to eye with the majority. I can certainly take getting my feelings hurt, though.
It’s very simple to me: to respect and understand a concept means that one wouldn’t use it to debase another, even if it’s because that person herself is reacting badly to it. I’m certainly under no illusions about being in a majority and I get that, along with little people, we’re nature’s punchlines.
That doesn’t change by shutting up and taking it. If marginalizing and demeaning people is seen as ok because a person died, then so be it, but maybe I’m not the one who should leave if certain people can’t bear to be told when they’re acting like, well, wingnuts.
Simba B said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:37
She’s baaack! I’m starting a betting pool to see which of the subtle vandals and sockpuppets over there she realizes are actually vandalism and not her sack o’ shit commenters. So far she’s missed another by “brain”.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:41
we’re nature’s punchlines.
Nature already has a ridiculous fate in store for the straight and boring.
But Hoosier’s right: stay.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:41
Fate store straight bore.
jim said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:41
Oh, Amy, Amy Amy, you poor naive little n00b.
No “perhaps” about it – if they’re behind a good enough proxy, let alone multiple proxies, even the NSA would be hard-pressed to figure out where they’re posting from. But that’s not all. Some computers switch IPs every time you turn the modem on or restart – so wielding the mighty banhammer can be a very Pyhrric victory indeed, depending on who’s being b& … oh shit: she’s going to turn this nonsensical farce into a BOOK?! I’m going to take a big shot in the dark here & say it won’t exactly put “All The President’s Men” to shame. The phrase “Solo Circle-Jerk” comes to mind for some reason.
Hmm … if “Sadly, No!” merits a page on Encyclopedia Dramatica, maybe she does too – & if she wants to see what a real case of cybernetic bitch-tits feels like, being so adamant about outing mean nasty trolls & all, she should try taking on the Channers. Talk about bringing a slingshot to a firefight. Anons would have a fucking field-day with her.
Simba B said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:42
Do we all get a prize if this post gets to 1000 comments?
We’ve got a ways to go to set a record.
Darth Grabass said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:42
Hey, gocart mozart. It’s the Burj Dubai. It’s already the tallest man-made structure in the world, and it’s not even done yet. It’s supposed to be completed by September 2009. The pictures look like they were taken in 3009 and then sent back in time to mock people like Amy Alkon.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:46
You know, I just don’t believe I was awful enough to be banned. Am I awful?
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:49
…you’re awfully bubbly!
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:51
Woo woo!
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:51
Righteous Bubba, if you weren’t banned by her then you might be awful.
mikey said,
August 17, 2008 at 4:52
That doesn’t change by shutting up and taking it.
Damn Right. And I salute you for being saddled up and ready to fight. Now. How many of your tribe are gonna be intimidated if they kill just one. Beat up a couple. Arrest one here and there.
There’s a reason why we prioritize, babe. Lena. I LOVE this shit. I’m the one that will stand with you and soak up the black n blue. I’ve never known another way, and the fight’s the only way to measure who’s winning. But dammit. You gotta understand that as long as they can kill us, we can’t get in their faces. We have to find a way to take the guns out of the equation before we can go to the next level.
Fuck it, darlin, y’know? You wanna go out there right now? Hell, babe, I’ll go. I don’t have a whole lot of time and I don’t have a soul to lose. But maybe, just MAYBE, there’s a more methodical approach. You let me know what you think, ’cause I’m ready to rock n roll…
mikey
Lena said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:02
Mikey,
The irony is that you and I agree that gender identity issues never should have been brought into this. The point of disagreement between us is over *when* it was brought in.
I just wish the concerted effort against this person could have been accomplished without stampeding an already battered and completely unrelated minority into the ground. I don’t find that necessary in the least and so I don’t see why the two should be conflicting priorities.
I expect it and look the other way when I see it from the right and the mainstream, but it breaks my heart when the left does this kind of thing.
Cletus von Clausewitz said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:02
She says she’s writing as book about this, its a chapter that we should copyright first. Its about a woman writes some inane, narrow-minded horseshit about a real-life tragedy, about five kids who lose their mom in a violent sudden event in their own home, at the initiation of an authority figure they’ve been taught to trust and respect. Instead of the woman’s sychophants doing their usual “you’re so controversial, sweetie”; she gets noticed by another, larger site whose patrons are repelled by her dehumanizing remarks. Completely ignoring the substance of the tragedy, the woman decides to feign ignorance at the source of the umbrage against her, and proclaims herself to be the injured party. Her rantings ensure much merriment for the both websites. The ending is still unclear, in that she might never experience genuine sympathy for those five children whose mom died for no good reason.
Cain said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:15
Jim,
A ED page for Amy would be both wonderful and terrible to behold. The channers do lack attention span, it must be said, and might get bored after a few days, but there are others on that site with tenacity bordering on mental illness.
And they’re precisely the sort of people who think that ordering pizzas and strippers to your house every day for 3 months is a perfectly reasonable and proportionate response to internet drama.
dysphemism said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:18
Just came in to say I’m with you, Lena. I read the whole thread in disbelief, watching the couple of commenters who pointed out the double-standard of screaming “racism” at this (abhorrent and disgusting, yes) woman, then turning around and using incredibly demeaning transgender jokes to mock her.
I’m all for the mocking, really. This woman is a nutcase, a racist, and blatantly oblivious to the reality of the world around her. And I agree that PC speech can go way too far (particuarly when it proposes to trump free speech in favor of a supposed right not to be offended, which is a bunch of bullshit – no one has the right not to be offended). But I would hope that the more progressive and open-minded of the commenters here might recognize the inherent hypocrisy of this, how leveraging sexual identity as a weapon to cut someone down – whatever the forum, whatever the intent. When the crux of the joke is, “haha, people who don’t adhere to heteronormative gender standards are tehfunny!”, it’s not that funny to those people whose dignity and basic human existence you diminish and trample for your humor.
But of course, it’s not like they should have a say – you’re not talking about them, right? You might want to look up the word “privilege” (I’d start with this article on privilege and race, which those who throw out “racist!” in the same breath as, “she’s a man!lolol!”, might be more amenable to considering): part of the privilege of those here who aren’t transgendered but think they get the right to use someone basic characteristics as fodder and get to shout down anyone who is (rightfully) offended at this might consider the very real privileges they assume in being “the norm”.
The response: “But, but, but, it’s all for the LOLs! Lighten up, tightass! It’s not like a significant segment of the population actively works to limit your basic human rights and encourages a rampant bigotry and second-class status that disturbingly-often poses a real physical threat! Cheer up, toots!” just isn’t good enough.
Lena’s comparison was close, but not quite. A better analogy to the situation would be if someone edited her wikipedia page to say she was, oh, “black and passing for white,” Ann got pissy and started her wingnut safari over this, and S,N!s ‘liberal’ commentators filled a thread with black jokes.
Lena said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:21
dysphemism,
All I can say is thank you. You said it all perfectly.
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:23
When the crux of the joke is, “haha, people who don’t adhere to heteronormative gender standards are tehfunny!”
That’s not the crux of the joke.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:25
Oh Godz is Amy still fretting?
One thing’s certain, idiots like Amy live in gated communities that keep sanity and rational thought from entering.
Mike In Teh Heartl...er..Shoulderland said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:27
‘….A better analogy to the situation would be if someone edited her wikipedia page to say she was, oh, “black and passing for white,” …‘
There’s an idea . Anybody here know how to work teh Intertubz?
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:28
I just have to point this out: Upthread, Malcalypse noticed:
I love that they have unhacked every part of her wiki page *except* the line about “luscious vaginas.”
Not only did they not unhack that part, but the page is now locked with the luscious vaginas line intact.
[sneaks up on Bubbles, and hugs him too]
Is Candy back with the ice cream? I could really use some right now.
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:29
Oh Godz is Amy still fretting?
Anyone with a brain can pick at Amy’s logic, so of course she frets until she bans them.
Anyone think she could, you know, send the kids some ice-cream or something as penance for being the vulture gnawing at the carrion of their mom?
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:33
I’m back. I got fudge bars too!
Pass ‘em around. And where’s that bong?
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:35
I wish I could do something for those poor kids. Does anyone know if there’s a fund or something set up to which people can donate? I guess I could consult Teh Great Gazoogle.
mikey said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:35
Y’know, when I start reading articles like this I’ll have the same sense of urgency…
mikey
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:39
[sneaks up on Bubbles, and hugs him too]
GAAAAAH! I spilled chemical X into that bowl of sugar and spice and everything nice!
dysphemism said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:40
Really, now? Then what is it? Cause this looks like a hell of a lot of trans-bashing (and a nice slice of misogyny) to me:
There’s plenty of funny shit in here without having to rely on a bit of that good ol’ hate to get laughs – having just rescanned most the thread (got too nauseous halfway through this time) to pull these, I’m convinced you folks can be funny without stooping to this crap.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:41
I did not find anything about a fund. I did find this blog post with a picture of Tarika that about broke my heart and a much more righteous perspective on the tragedy.
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:42
Really, now?
Yes.
Raijin said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:45
For the LAST time. . .
The reason pointing out that Ann Coulter is in fact Disco Andy Coulter has something to do with prejudice, but not in the way that suggests itself on knee-jerk surface reading: Ann Coulter is a loud, obnoxious, outrageously offensive “person” who associates with and agititates for “people” who would shun the everliving fuck out of her, with a quickness you wouldn’t believe, if anyone actually cared to prove that she has a Y chromosome.
Personally, I couldn’t give a fuck less about the specific combination of genders, genitalia, chromosomes, and DNA that came together to ultimately express themselves as Ann Coulter. Were she on our side, she would in fact find the acceptance you accuse us of not possessing. She is not, however, and furthermore, she vilely promotes an agenda that would see her marginalized.
I just happen to think that she should be marginalized before that agenda comes to pass. Would it do her any good to be hoist on her own petard? I don’t know, but I want to watch. (Words I never thought I’d ever say with regard to Ann Coulter, incidentally.) So when I point out that she looks like she a man, it’s because I hope she will be proven to have been born male and then the wingnuts will disown her, and she can shut the fuck up and go away forever without blood having been spilled.
(Oh, and I don’t know if Wordpress is going to suck and eat this, but I’m betting mentioning it will activate the Narcissism Subroutine and post this comment automatically.)
dysphemism said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:51
From the article I posted above, that I somehow don’t think you clicked:
Now, if the important distinction for you is that this was a police (government) action and therefore exceptionally reprehensible, then you may want to look at this. A taste:
Is fighting for the rights of all individuals a zero-sum game in your estimation? Or is it possible to oppose systemic racism and the basic human dignity of minority groups without doing so at the expense of other persecuted classes of people?
dysphemism said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:53
Well. You have blown me away with your eloquent, fully-considered and substantive response. My hat’s off to you, sir/madam!
dysphemism said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:54
Drat. Just noticed the link to the article didn’t load: http://www.wreg.com/global/story.asp?s=8518971
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 5:59
[ducks and covers and tries to avoid the substantive debate going on]
Candy, I’ll have you know, you’re responsible for me having to get up and actually get real ice cream in real life. Raspberry Lime Rickey Sherbet, to be specific. But there’s a skunk outside, and it was an arduous journey, and it’s all your fault.
And I have no bong to offer. Asthmatics have to avoid that sort of thing. I do have Ny-Quil for the little summer cold I’m fighting. I’m happy to share.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:11
Sorry about the ice cream jones, Marita, and the arduous journey! I’ll pass on the Ny-Quil but I just remembered that I have some codeine cough syrup tucked away in case of emergency. I wonder how bad it would taste on ice cream . . . it is a cherry flavored syrup . . . hmmm . . .
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:13
Well. You have blown me away with your eloquent, fully-considered and substantive response. My hat’s off to you, sir/madam!
dysphemism, do you genuinely expect a substantive, fully-considered debate with a commenter who calls himself “righteous bubbles”? If so, and if you have the spare time, I have a pig here who enjoys mud-wrestling.
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:14
I have some codeine cough syrup tucked away in case of emergency. I wonder how bad it would taste on ice cream . . .
Try mixing it with Glenmorangie.
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:15
Dys, the crux of the joke is in the post at the top of the thread. There are almost 600 comments to the thread in a place where people try to be funny. Maybe some of them understood fully, maybe they didn’t, maybe they were adopting some Archie Bunker pose that didn’t properly play out in the comments they made, or maybe – impossible to contemplate – some are big
fatjerks.In any case I’m not trying to cause a dust-up with you: you’re doing the right to call things as you see them.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:16
Sherbet is not ice cream Sherbet has a milkfat content between 1% and 2%, where ice cream has a milkfat content above 2%.
You’re lying and shitting all over the blog. You little turds.
Sycophants: attack!
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:16
If so, and if you have the spare time, I have a pig here who enjoys mud-wrestling.
I have warned you that I will put up with this smut for only so long.
dysphemism said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:16
I try to give the benefit of the doubt that the person isn’t a troll. I’ll start all internet conversations with flames from the get-go now, I suppose, having been corrected.
Does the pig talk? I’ve got a buddy in New York who runs a show, and he’s looking to trade a bridge…
J— said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:18
What Lesley said.
Righteous Bubba’s making sense.
Sadly, last I checked Alkon had not taken the bait offered by T.D. Fitzgerald, aka the Great Brain.
J— for the win!
Interrobang said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:19
Ah, wingnut logic. If Ann Coulter says that women are too stoopid to vote, that must not be misogynist, and if a black blogger says something, it must not be racist. ‘Course, this is also the same lack of mentality that thinks the idea “any behaviour I disapprove of merits the death penalty without benefit of due process” actually makes some kind of sense…and then turns around and says some other culture is a “primitive” “death cult.”
Good-o. It’s like Bizarro Copi and Cohen.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:20
Can’t we all get back to hating on Amy Alkon?
She keeps responding to people who suggest that she’s a racist by saying she can’t be a racist because she doesn’t hate black people (or anyone!). Would someone care to inform her that hatred isn’t requisite for racist asshatery?
I’d tell her myself, but my husband has already been banned, and we share an IP and all.
Oh noes, does that make me his sockpuppet?
Quaker in a Basement said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:21
You know what’s really amazing?
Some people are so perplexed by life that they actually seek this woman’s advice.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:21
Try mixing it with Glenmorangie
I’ll have you know that I once drank shots of cough syrup with a wine cooler chaser. I’d be afraid to try it with Glenmorangie, though, if only because it might fan the flames of the ever-smoldering Scotch Wars.
J— said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:21
That makes you Gary’s sockpuppet, Marita.
And now I learn Righteous Bubba is a troll. Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things?
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:22
Sherbet is not ice cream Sherbet has a milkfat content between 1% and 2%, where ice cream has a milkfat content above 2%.
Milkfattist bigot.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:22
Oh noes, does that make me his sockpuppet?
If it feels good, do it. That’s my motto!
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:22
The longer form of my position. Different context but I don’t want to type it all over again when I appear to be due for a good huggin’.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:24
That makes you Gary’s sockpuppet, Marita.
I feel so… dirty.
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:25
And now I learn Righteous Bubba is a troll.
Take it to the bridge!
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:25
And now I learn Righteous Bubba is a troll. Why doesn’t anyone tell me these things?
Ahem – it’s Bubbles now. You must be made aware of all internet traditions.
Righteous Bubbles said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:25
FYWP.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:26
FYWP!!!
dysphemism said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:26
I’m with you on the post being okay, since it’s pretty obvious the joke there is that Amy’s so paranoid and reactionary that she felt the need to dramatically defend her “womanhood” in such a hilariously myspace-profile-pic-like way. I’m riled by the few really nasty comments on here (a lot of which I’ve reposted; I wouldn’t even go so far as to say a quarter of the posts here fit that label), not the OP or most the commenters here. I’m not looking for a dust-up, either, but I’ve had my mind changed in frivolous threads by the occasional serious debate (even on Fark, yikes), and I hope there’s a few people reading who may know why they feel so strongly about racial equality but don’t think much about other people coming up against obstacles.
In any case, as we all know: arguing on the internet = automatic fail. Arguing on the internet while high = double fail. And yet…
Thanks for being civil. I raise my joint to you (and you’re welcome to join me for a friendly chat and a toke anytime).
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:26
Milkfattist bigot.
Dairy products gone bad!
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:26
This thing likes Bubbles less than Bubba for fuck’s sake.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:27
I can’t be a milkfattist bigot because I don’t hate sherbet. But the sherbet disgusts me, because it’s not even trying to acquire more milkfat.
But you just can’t see that, blinded by fascism as you are.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:29
Maybe WP hates Don Ho.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:30
Were you calling my bubbles TINY?
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:33
Were you calling my bubbles TINY?
Um, no! I would never do such a thing! I’m no bubble-bigot!
Besides, size doesn’t matter!
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:35
Righteous Bubbles said,
Take it to the bridge!
OT, but I introduced our Doktorling Sonja to the Fremont Troll a few weeks ago. She was impressed.
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:39
Wow. She just banned me.
J— said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:39
Besides, size doesn’t matter!
That’s right. It’s the rubble of the bubble.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:40
What did you think of Seattle? Be merciless.
Gary Coopert said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:42
[posted as requested at Advice Goddess Blog]
You claim I’m racist — you assume I have some hatred for blacks. You can’t know what I think, and I don’t hate anyone.
I’ve been requested by a banned Sadly, Nosian to pass along the observation that “hatred isn’t requisite for racist asshatery”. Nor, to add my personal observation, is it requisite for classist (i.e. right-wing/libertarian) asshatery, which is what we are left with if we remove the racial element from your apparent feelings that Ms. Wilson got her just deserts.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:43
Don’t insult Seattle, or my ox will be gored!
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:43
That might get you banned, Gary! I just did for no apparent reason.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:44
Thanks for being civil. I raise my joint to you (and you’re welcome to join me for a friendly chat and a toke anytime).
For lack of a funnier rejoinder, much appreciated.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:44
Don’t insult Seattle, or my ox will be gored!
Slick huh? Trolling by proxy.
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:45
What did you think of Seattle?
Needs more brew-pubs.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:48
DA, I suspect you were banned, as my husband was, for being smarter than the proprietress of that blog. She has no mechanism for coping with that.
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:48
Also, is it just me, or is Amy like writing 17 different books about everything from winning in small claims court to tracking IP addresses?
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:49
I got banned also for attempting to be civil. That’ll teach me.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:49
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:26
Milkfattist bigot.
Dairy products gone bad!
Where do you find this stuff?
Slick huh? Trolling by proxy.
proxy with moxie!
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:51
DMM – she’s not the worst wingnut around, not by a long shot. She’s pretty funny though. It is tres teh funny to get her to say she does a workshop at an ‘inner city school’ for the billionth time.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:51
Also, is it just me, or is Amy like writing 17 different books about everything from winning in small claims court to tracking IP addresses?
I think Amy should get some sleep followed by a couple days off, and maybe a Valium scrip. She seems a bit on edge.
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:52
noen was seriously bending over backwards to be nice and engaging, then got banned.
Darth Grabass said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:54
That whole “You can’t know what I think” nonsense is a transparent attempt at eliminating the possibility of anyone ever being called a racist. Ever. Because we can’t possibly know what they really feel deep down in their soul, right? Somebody can burn a cross, hang a noose, scream “nigger” in a roomful of black people, or write a bunch of racist garbage in an “advice” column, but we can’t call those people racists because we can’t know what they really think.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:56
DA, I suspect you were banned, as my husband was, for being smarter than the proprietress of that blog.
That’s it entirely. Yadda yadda free speech BAN.
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:57
Police Identikit reconstruction of Righteous Bubbles.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:58
noen was seriously bending over backwards to be nice and engaging, then got banned.
Once again, it’s the smarter-than-Amy problem.
And I agree that she’s not the worst wingnut around, but I am appalled at how self-congratulatory she is about going into schools and explaining to the kids that getting pregnant as teenagers isn’t putting you on the fast track to success. If only someone had thought of that before! A complete lack of any perceivable opportunity couldn’t possibly be the problem with any of these kids. It must just be that they haven’t been properly shamed yet.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:58
it’s a good thing we’re all on the same team (more or less) because I’m betting if we all put our pics up we’d have plenty to poke fun at. Of course, we wouldn’t do that to each other because we’re nice people.
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 6:58
Where do you find this stuff?
Gutters, mainly.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:00
having said that amy isn’t just banning the lame asses who are calling her a fake female, she’s banning anyone who defends a position that favours SN. This is what makes her lame. I have no problem with her hating on those of you who are ridiculing her appearance or sexuality, in her face, in her place. But I think someone from SN Investor Relations has already made that point on her blog.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:00
but we can’t call those people racists
I tried my best to make it clear that it was the post in question that was racist, but her post is apparently directly connected to her cerebellum and therefore I was always directly calling her a racist or something.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:01
I could post a picture of my toes. I’ll bet people would point and laugh.
No one’s that nice.
Gavin M. said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:03
Golly, the lulz just keep coming. After the banning from Ms. Alkon’s place, somebody tried to hack into my Conservapedia account. I got one of those ’someone, probably you, requested your password’ messages.
HTML Mencken said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:03
Is there any way we can get Patteclucko and Mario George Nitrini involved?
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:04
In fact I have posted Five Things I Like About me. With pictures!
J— said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:04
Let’s see what happens with The Kenosha Kid. He’s currently pwning brian in Alkon’s “Sadly, No” post.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:05
noen was seriously bending over backwards to be nice and engaging, then got banned.
yeah, but by the time he showed up, Amy had transformed into a composite of this and this. And you know how that goes…crazed angry people will just hit delete delete delete without pausing for breath.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:05
FYWPx234562456
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:05
Mock my appearance if you like. I don’t care. I don’t need friends. I particularly don’t need WP as a friend.
HTML Mencken said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:05
I, for one, think the scholars at Encyclopedia Dramatica would love to hear about Amy Alkon.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:07
Pikers. I got banned 24 hours ago. First one. Posting as Arygay Uppertray. And I liked it.
Gavin M. said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:10
If somebody tried to hack my Encyclopedia Dramatica account, I’d be less impressed. Who knows about Conservapedia besides. . .okay, right-wing crazies, sure, yes. Self-pwning question, I suppose.
J— said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:11
it’s a good thing we’re all on the same team (more or less) because I’m betting if we all put our pics up we’d have plenty to poke fun at. Of course, we wouldn’t do that to each other because we’re nice people.
I posted mine two years ago.
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:13
it’s a good thing we’re all on the same team (more or less) because I’m betting if we all put our pics up we’d have plenty to poke fun at. Of course, we wouldn’t do that to each other because we’re nice people.
I apologize for any mean or stupid thing I might have said to anyone. That covers a lot of territory.
I don’t know if I should weight in on this, my first impulse is to shut the fuck up but… Lena, dysphemism, I’m also TS and I post here from time to time. I was also uncomfortable with some of the things said here. But these are good people here. Just trust me on that. If you need to talk to me just e-mail me at my nick at asarian-host dot org. There’s good folk here, pretty smart too.
BTW, Amy is a real nutbag. If you’re reading Amy, you suck.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:14
He’s currently pwning brian in Alkon’s “Sadly, No” post.
Brian is wonderfully pwnable, an E-Mail-Forward Einstein.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:14
Okay, as a veteran brian pwner, I’ve got to go over there and check out Kenosha Kid’s methods. It’s always good to get a new perspective.
Last night, I actually lost about five minutes of sleep wondering if I’d been to brutal to brian. Then I shrugged, rolled over and was out like a light.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:16
(don’t waste my clicks, you gutless chumps!)
One of her commenters suggested she get in touch with Ace of Spades for tech advice. Maybe they can discuss specs over a playdoh and bacon sandwich.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:17
Brian had a long scenario about how drug legalization couldn’t happen because people would refuse to stock product they’d get sued for when some awful thing happened.
He has not heard of pharmacies.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:18
And you know, he has a blog and says “moonbat” a lot…
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:19
brian, offered without comment:
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:21
Brian says:
I really want to see that. You can hack Tor? Maybe the NSA can but I doubt that Brian is up to it.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:21
If I could I’d make Brian black immediately. He’d be begging me to turn him back tomorrow.
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:23
Nobody told ME about the proxy server!
..and she’s right – it’s not boring.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:23
Fixed!!!
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:24
A nugget from Crid for your delectation:
I hate to use this tired old internet tradition, but it really says it all: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:24
As a white supremacist
person, I can’t win.Fixed.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:26
if you think Tor will protect you, you are sadly mistaken.
Tor Johnson will always protect us. No mistake about it.
J— said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:26
This is one guy, completely out of control of his behavior.
And his name is Barack Obama. He has a list, you know.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:26
If I could I’d make Brian black immediately.
There’s another poster called David J (errr…goth alert maybe) who thought this would be GREAT if he could do it.
J— said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:27
3PO, shut down all proxy servers on the detention level! Shut down all proxy servers on the detention level!
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:28
They’re dying!!!
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:30
Brian:
..oh, Brian – you’re SO smart!!!
Amy said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:30
dysphemism said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:30
noen: *tosses a terr’ist fistjab your way in salute* Yeah, I’m convinced there’s lot of good people here; I’ve been reading S,N! for about two years and just haven’t commented before now. I figure: everybody’s got an asshole, and every blog’s got about ten. Anger makes the snark come out, though, and since I figure there’s probably people here who would be very open to considering some of these things, I got post-y.
BTW, I love that Amy (wishes she were M)Alko(i)n closes up her thread by insisting she “voted for Kerry and all the rest”: well, I guess she’s got her immunity now. Drat.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:32
Tor Johnson will always protect us. No mistake about it.
time for go to bed!
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:32
Power-cycling my modem would mean reaching waaaaay over there to hit the button and Amy, you’re just not worth it.
Tor Johnson said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:33
Bela, how many Tor?
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:36
Hey dysphemism, nice to meet ya.
Oh… and Wordpress sucks.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:36
To think, there was a time this afternoon when the whole matter could have died a much-deserved death… and then, her sycophants showed up, each with a spoon and intent on shit-stirring.
Thread, have I told you lately that I love you?
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:36
The three stooges.
F'in Librul said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:36
I find it utterly hilarious that the “luscious vagina” and “Alkonholics” changes someone made to her wiki are frozen into the article.
Yor, the Hunter from the Future said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:38
Did someone request my services…wait a second. Wrong thread.
maryc said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:38
Heyyyy! Candy? You wouldn’t happen to be a hot blonde who’s actually a mafia hit personm hired to make sure that the Cougars don’t win the superbowl at the Superdome in NOLA, are you? (note the use of blockquotes, because, unlike um…Amy(is that her name?) I am aware of all internet traditions.
Amy Aikon said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:40
As a heterosexual white male, I can win.
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:40
The first rule of Blog War is that the first to starting banning the opponent’s commenters loses.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:40
You know what would be super awesome, Lesley?
If brian and Crid are sockpuppets for Ms. Alkon.
We have no evidence to the contrary, so it must be true!
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:41
Tor Johnson
He’s way cooler than this Amy Alk-a-non is. He was in Plan 9 and MST3K spoofed him several times. He’s a real celeb, Amy eat your heart out.
I bet he was a sweet guy too.
Gavin M. said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:41
I is go to bed and cannot clean out Wordpress anymore tonight, alas.
If it gives you trouble, I’ll restore all the comments in the morning, with apologies.
a different brad said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:42
I forgot to change my name, that was not a tranny joke. For true and shit. Oops.
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:42
DA, I’m actually a little disappointed that none of her commenters showed up over here.
But then again, if all of her commenters are actually just her, they’d all come from the same IP, and you’d be on to her little game. Clearly this proves that we’re on to something.
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:43
Hey people – remember to continue this discussion with as many NYMS (wink wink nudge nudge) as you can think up, so’s to keep up the illusion that we’re all a bunch of individuals and not just one Master Fucking Cybercriminal on a proxy server with Uncle Tor.
Wait, am I talking to myself again? BWAHAHAHAHAGLRRRPPP
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:43
Thank you Gavin for shedding light on my poop jokes.
D. Aristophones said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:44
Hello? Hello? Is this thing on?
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:44
Heyyyy! Candy? You wouldn’t happen to be a hot blonde who’s actually a mafia hit personm hired to make sure that the Cougars don’t win the superbowl at the Superdome in NOLA, are you? (note the use of blockquotes,
Sssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, you’ll give me away!
Doctor Missus Marita said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:45
remember to continue this discussion with as many NYMS (wink wink nudge nudge) as you can think up
DA, be careful! You almost let slip the secret of NYMS!
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:47
That would be a ratfuck!
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:47
Hey people – remember to continue this discussion with as many NYMS (wink wink nudge nudge) as you can think up, so’s to keep up the illusion that we’re all a bunch of individuals and not just one Master Fucking Cybercriminal on a proxy server with Uncle Tor.
We are legion, join us.
D. Mephistopheles said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:50
Shall that be shut to Man, which to the Beast
Is open? or will God incense his ire
For such a petty Trespass, and not praise
Rather your dauntless vertue, whom the pain
Of Death denounc’t, whatever thing Death be,
Deterrd not from atchieving what might leade
To happier life, knowledge of Good and Evil;
Of good, how just? of evil, if what is evil
Be real, why not known, since easier shunnd?
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:55
I’m deleting the losers’ comments with alacrity.
If you ask me, alacrity is much over-rated. Give me celerity any time. It’s more subtle, but it has the aniseed overtones that you don’t get with alacrity. Sprinkled over sliced brussels sprouts…
No. Mustn’t go there.
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:58
Summation of the Amy Alkon Experience to date:
AA: A poor black woman was shot by police for no reason. My advice – stop being poor and black, losers! La-di-da-di-dee …
Clif (pokes AA with stick)
AA: Wazza? Racist? I tell all sorts of people to stop being poor and black! Even when they’re not poor OR black!
Clif, S,N commenters (poke AA with stick)
AA: I go to the DEEPEST, DARKEST MOTHERFUCKIN’ INNER CITY sometimes! How could I possibly be racist! Also, I’m writing 56 kajillion books on every random thought that enters my brain! I just wrote chapter 3 for one of them on how much I totally know who vandalized my wikipedia page … and it was Gary Ruppert!
(much more stick poking)
AA: Update to my orginal advice – stop being poor and black, but if you must be black, at least have the decency to be Korean! Also, EVERYBODY’S BANNED! PS I am so the Bill Cosby of manic white Jewish chicks!
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 7:58
the secret of NYMS!
Easily the best movie from Don Bluth’s studio.
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:01
AA: I go to the DEEPEST, DARKEST MOTHERFUCKIN’ INNER CITY sometimes!
Mistah Kurtz, he dead!
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:01
Jesus, Bubba, I only just now got the phone joke.
Righteous Bubba said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:02
… and it was Gary Ruppert!
This still makes me laugh. It was a miraculous gift.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:03
If I find the SN site down tomorrow morning, I’ll know some pissed off fiscally conservative libertarian Bush-voter with friends who know Gary Ruppert has hacked in.
what’s a glamourous advice columnist doing staying in on a Saturday night to talk with internet midgets like crid and brian anyway?
shouldn’t she be out on the town with one of her famous celebrity stud dates? experimenting with new sex toys so she can write about them in her “advice” column?
Candy said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:05
This still makes me laugh. It was a miraculous gift.
I’ve been smiling about it all day. It’s been like turning over a really ugly rock and finding the Hope Diamond.
Amy Alkon's Penis said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:06
Wow. Talk about delusional. She’s SO incapable of backing down, of ever admitting error, or even of admitting she’s changed her policy because of us (me? Are we one or more? Did anyone find out yet?) that she actually said “I don’t ban people. I ban thugs.”
This, solely so she can maintain that she was correct when she said “I don’t ban people” here at S,N! If she bans you, you are redefined as an un-person.
NOW tell me she’s not a wingnut.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:08
well yeah, except someone handed her Gary on a silver platter and she took the bait.
her saying she had proof it was him and that one of her friends knows him is what’s funniest for me. like clif (i think) said, either she’s batshit crazy or she has enemies for friends.
i wonder if she and atlas pam hang out.
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:09
That was great – ‘I don’t ban people, I ban thugs.’ We don’t torture people. We torture terrorists. We don’t tap people’s phones without a warrant. We tap warrants phones without a people … or something but you get the picture.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:10
she and atlas pam should make lesbian porn and retail it to the ace’s of this world. they’d make…nickels and dimes at least.
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:11
Amy apparently didn’t go to bed as she said she was. You reading here Amy?
it’s hard to believe that anybody is as dim and unable to respond to plainspoken rational arguments as noen appears to be.
This is true. I really don’t get how it’s Ms Wilson fault for getting shot. I’ll probably never understand the “rationality” of why it is.
And I don’t ban people. I ban thugs. If you got banned, that’s why.
I’m a thug? For asking questions?
Anybody coming here who wants to speak their mind, and not for purposes of disrupting this site and who doesn’t turn every discussion into torture, come on in.
But asking questions that make Amy uncomfortable is “torture” and banable. I get it.
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:13
[Buffs knuckles]
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:14
Dishonest, not very bright, and narcissistic. A deadly combination in any human being.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:16
Like this guy
noen said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:18
It seems like that’s what you need these days. You have to be narcissistic like Amy, Megan and the rest and ADHD so that you are running at full tilt 24/7. Catch Amy in 15 years and she’ll be a burned out shell.
Smut Clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:21
Arguably this is OT, but I am claiming copyright on the words “laughing-stockracy”.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:23
must say, if i was going to post a photo of myself as irrefutable proof of my sex and gender i wouldn’t have put up that one. seriously there’s no way to tell that isn’t a drag queen. i’ve seen prettier, more feminine drag queens and transsexuals. i don’t understand women who fall for that trick. why post a photo of yourself? who cares? but like ann althouse, she needs the attention and confirmation from her crids and brains. it’s sad, really.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:27
women won’t command respect until they stop posting their goddamn photos all over the place for the purpose of having everyone admire and fawn over them. get over yourselves ladies…geezus. (plus, it’s not as if you’re particularly hot anyway, amy and ann and pamela..no more so than the average meathead blathering on the intertubes.)
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 8:59
I leave to watch an old Star Trek rerun, and Comedy Central’s roast of Pamela Anderson and you people have lost all your snark.
I will leave you with a joke. I wouldn’t fuck Amy Alcon with Bea Arthur’s dick and Andy Dick’s vagina Badumptsshh!
No disrespect to the transgendered. We love you here Leslie.
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 9:01
Lesley sorry
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 9:27
Best or at least longest Gary Ruppert post EVER! The action is next door. If you haven’t been banned, join the party. the beer is still cold.
“I am not a diplomat and, as such, I am not fully conversant with the elegant and rarefied language of the diplomatic trade. I have a reputation for saying what I mean and meaning what I say. So I trust that you’ll forgive me if I come across as a bit blunt when I state that I, not being one of the many villainous, cocky couch potatoes of this world, find Mr. Amy Q. Alkon, Sr. the most catty person in the entire world. I want to share this with you because I have always been an independent thinker. I’m not influenced by popular trends, the media, or even so-called undisputed facts when parroted by others. Maybe that streak of independence is what first enabled me to see that when Amy was first found trying to prevent us from recognizing the vast and incomparable achievements, contributions, and discoveries that are the product of our culture, I was scared. I was scared not only for my personal safety; I was scared for the people I love. And now that Amy is planning to prostrate the honor, power, independence, laws, and property of entire countries, I’m certainly terrified.
A study of the worst sorts of deplorable, aberrant upstarts I’ve ever seen indicates broad political and ideological agreement on the use of force combined with a set of simple tactics to achieve their immediate goal: to get everyone to march in lockstep with Amy’s bloodthirsty factotums. Even though Amy eschews his commitments to responsibility and truth in favor of a breathless and drooling enthusiasm for voyeurism, this does not negate the fact that Amy is absolutely mistaken if he believes that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that he should be even slightly inconvenienced. Considering that we must protect the interests of the general public against the greed and unreason of rummy fogeys in such a way that there is nothing he can do about it except learn to live with the fait accompli, I offer that he presents quasi-scientific and pseudointellectual justifications for his pompous bait-and-switch tactics in order to convince people that unfounded attacks on character, loads of hyperbole, and fallacious information are the best way to make a point. He may mean well but I’m not a coldhearted person. I’d like nothing more than to extend my hand in friendship to Amy’s myrmidons and convey my hope that in the days to come we can work together to discuss the programmatic foundations of Amy’s delirious squibs in detail. Unfortunately, knowing them, they’d rather manipulate the public like a puppet dangling from strings because that’s what Amy wants.
No one — except Amy, so high on his own hallucinations that he believes them to be real — can seriously believe that his stances are all sweetness and light. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to. Although he is ever learning Amy is never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. The truth, in this context, is that even when the facts don’t fit, Amy sometimes tries to use them anyway. He still maintains, for instance, that women are crazed Pavlovian sex-dogs who will salivate at any object even remotely phallic in shape.
We can’t stop Amy overnight. It takes time, patience and experience to prevent the production of a new crop of the most foul slobs I’ve ever seen. I indubitably hope that humanity will rid this earth of venal buffoons with the greatest dispatch, since otherwise, the earth might well become rid of humanity. I feel no shame in writing that it’s best to ignore most of the quotes that he so frequently cites. Amy takes quotes of of context; uses misleading, irrelevant, and out-of-date quotes; and, presents quotes from legitimate authorities used misleadingly to support contentions that they did not intend and that are not true. In short, the worst types of incoherent, disgusting authoritarians there are must be treated with political justice, not with civil justice, as they are decidedly not real citizens. I’ll say that again because I want it to sink in: The drivel emanating freely from his mouth gives me cause to reach for the nearest vomit pail.
Amy maintains that everything he says is utterly and thoroughly true. Perhaps it would be best for him to awaken from his delusional, narcoleptic fantasyland and observe that he likes to reopen wounds that seem scarcely healed. Such activity can flourish only in the dark, however. If you drag it into the open, Amy and his emissaries will run for cover, like cockroaches in a dirty kitchen when the light is turned on suddenly during the night. That’s why we must find the inner strength to insist on a policy of zero tolerance toward vandalism. Because the truth is not meant to be warm and fuzzy, it therefore stands to reason that he throws a tantrum every time he doesn’t get what he wants. Well, that’s another story. To get back to my main point, I ought to mention that it’s considerations of this sort that make it worth our while to learn about the muzzy-headed things Amy is up to. I’ll probably devote a separate letter to that topic alone, but for now, I’ll simply summarize by stating that the virus of obstructionism took control of our country’s political life long ago. Now, thanks to Amy’s writings, that virus will continue to spread until no one can recall that in a country like ours where charlatanism, oligarchism, and onanism run rampant, we need laws to help enforce behavior that ought to be performed out of common sense, decency, and tolerance. I submit that everyone should stop and mull that assertion. Then, you’ll understand why Amy can’t see beyond his own domineering, anal-retentive concerns. It is no more complicated than that.
My goal is to get Amy to realize that I am confident that mumpish goofballs will come to their own conclusions about all of these matters. Of course, if he insists on remaining an ignorant, uninformed, and ill-informed soi-disant do-gooder, that’s his prerogative. Following this line of logic, it would appear that I am a law-and-order kind of person. I hate to see crimes go unpunished. That’s why I obviously hope that Amy serves a long prison term for his illegal attempts to caricature and stereotype people from other cultures. I like to think I’m a reasonable person but you just can’t reason with two-faced sluggards. It’s been tried. They don’t understand, they can’t understand, they don’t want to understand, and they will die without understanding why all we want is for them not to foster feudalism at every opportunity.
I am sick of hearing Amy intone with an authority reminiscent of Moses descending Sinai that the laws of nature don’t apply to him. Let me rephrase that: He is like a magician who produces a dove in one hand while the other hand is busy trying to inject even more fear and divisiveness into political campaigns. Let me give you a concrete example of his totally flighty behavior. Really, the only way to deal with a subject like this is to study concrete examples — many concrete examples — to look at the details and observe how Amy’s lickspittles merely present their allegations as though they were true, a technique known as a “conclusory” or “Kierkegaardian” leap. My example begins with the observation that when people say that bigotry and hate are alive and well, they’re right. And Amy is to blame. I am making a pretty serious accusation here. I am accusing him of planning to engage in the trafficking of human beings. And I don’t want anyone to think that I am basing my accusation only on the fact that the objection may still be raised that all it takes to solve our social woes are shotgun marriages, heavy-handed divorce laws, and a return to some mythical 1950s Shangri-la. At first glance this sounds almost believable yet the following must be borne in mind: He coins polysyllabic neologisms to make his belief systems sound like they’re actually important. In fact, his treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary.
Amy has been doing “in-depth research” (whatever he thinks that means) to prove that he has mystical powers of divination and prophecy. I should mention that I’ve been doing some research of my own. So far, I’ve “discovered” that every time Amy utters or writes a statement that supports frotteurism — even indirectly — it sends a message that Amy is the arbiter of all things. I claim that we mustn’t let him make such statements, partly because his hortatory exclamation that it would be beneficial for him to convict me without trial, jury, or reading one complete paragraph of this letter makes me think that the fallout from Amy’s venom-spouting ipse dixits has been an increasingly predatory environment of calculation, scheming, and pandering that will, by virtue of its omnipresence, inflict more death and destruction than Genghis Khan’s hordes, but primarily because I honestly dislike Amy. Likes or dislikes, however, are irrelevant to observed facts, such as that Amy may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I consider him to be a weapon of mass destruction himself. If there is one thing I have learned, it is this: Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, “The Naked Aggression of Amy Q. Alkon”. In it, I chronicle all of Amy’s zingers from the execrable to the hidebound and conclude that we’ve all heard Amy yammer and whine about how he’s being scapegoated again, the poor dear.
Amy’s junta is a distant cousin of the communist political organizations that were responsible for the murders of at least 90 million people. Sure, it sounds wrongheaded. Blame that on unreasonable undesirables. Amy’s recourse to absolutism as a tactical modality for waging low-intensity warfare has been successful. More than that, Amy once said that a totalitarian dictatorship is the best form of government we could possibly have. Oh, please. I’m just glad I hadn’t eaten dinner right before I heard him say that. Otherwise, I’d probably still be vomiting too hard to tell you that there are some simple truths in this world. First, Amy’s recent attempt to open the gates of Hell may prove to be a watershed event for those of us who want to view the realms of favoritism and nonrepresentationalism not as two opposing poles but as two continua. Second, he seems to enjoy making unfounded statements and jumping to conclusions. And finally, he seems unable to think of turns of speech that aren’t hackneyed. What really grates on my nerves, however, is that Amy’s prose consists less of words chosen for the sake of their meaning than of phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated henhouse.
Please forgive the following sermon, but it can’t be avoided in this discussion: I, for one, can’t possibly believe Amy’s claim that skin color means more than skill and gender is more impressive than genius. If someone can convince me otherwise, I’ll eat my hat. Heck, I’ll eat a whole closetful of hats. That’s a pretty safe bet because Amy has warned us that one of these days, simple-minded, crass self-promoters will defend pauperism, obscurantism, and notions of racial superiority. If you think about it, you’ll realize that Amy’s warning is a self-fulfilling prophecy in the sense that I recently received some mail in which the writer stated, “Amy’s values are so inverted, they would make Lewis Carroll blush.” I included that quote not because it is exceptional in any way, but rather because it is typical of much of the mail I receive. I included it to show you that I’m not the only one who thinks that it’s really not bloody-mindedness that compels me to break the spell of great expectations that now binds stupid wantwits (especially the childish type) to Amy. It’s my sense of responsibility to you, the reader. Does anybody else feel the way I do, or am I alone in my disgust with Mr. Amy Q. Alkon, Sr.?
Posted by: Gary Ruppert, advice Fairy at August 16, 2008 3:29 PM
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 10:02
Too late. Everyone has been banned.
Ted Williams said,
August 17, 2008 at 10:09
Too late. Everyone has been banned
http://proxy.org/cgi_proxies.shtml
smut clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 10:39
They’ll ban you when you’re sayin’ that you could ha’,
They’ll ban you if your name is Rightous Bubba
They’ll ban you when you’re trying to make a point
They’ll ban you when you’re smokin’ on a joint
But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get banned.
Cain said,
August 17, 2008 at 12:52
I haven’t been banned yet. I feel left out :(
Oh, right, I should probably start posting over there first, instead of failing at hilarious GIMP manipulations of Amy, for the ED crowd.
kiki said,
August 17, 2008 at 13:15
gocart mozart said,
August 17, 2008 at 0:58
Her friend “has a dog with a head the size of Lucy” and said dog shits a lot so she made a moat of dog shit around her McCain sign so be warned Sadly Noers, don’t steal McCain signs or at least check for dog shit moats first as a precaution. Word to the wise and all that.
“Hi. I’m a friend of Amy Alkon. I like to pour watered-down shit on my own front lawn. And I’m voting for John McCain.”
Do you think her friend regularly walks in holding a turd and says “Look what I almost stepped in”…?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 17, 2008 at 14:37
I know that Gary Ruppert’s friend exists, I saw him posting upthread.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 17, 2008 at 14:45
Furthermore.
LittlePig said,
August 17, 2008 at 14:58
Epic.
But then that’s the danger of turning one’s neurosis into a career.
D. Aristophanes said,
August 17, 2008 at 15:13
Oh, man. It’s a smorgasbord of silly over at Amy’s place. I forgot all about the shit moat around the McCain sign.
“McCain 08: Surrounded by Shit”
Cletus von Clausewitz said,
August 17, 2008 at 17:48
It would be funny if the reason that her “Beverly Hills friend” got their 2004 Bush yard sign stolen is because it lowered property values or looked too middle class and had nothing to do with politics. Now this year, a yard sign and a stew of huge dog crap in the center of the front yard. Do Beverly Hills Neighborhood Associations have their own pitchforks and torches, or do they lease them?
For someone who claims she had no friends as a child, she sure seems to have an eclectic bunch of friends as an adult, all whom she trusts implicitly. And well-connected to alternative universes, too.
The Midpoint » Who are the people in your neighborhood? said,
August 17, 2008 at 18:39
[...] you haven’t been keeping up with the back and forth between advice goddess Amy Alkon (formerly JerAmy Alkon) and the good folks over at Sadly, No!, you’ve really been missing out. This story has [...]
GlennSacks.com » Blog Archive » Pro-Fatherhood Columnist Under Siege said,
August 17, 2008 at 19:30
[...] attacked on her blog by partisans of the popular left-wing blog Sadly No!. Sadly No! has posted several nasty things about Amy and apparently has been sending people over to disrupt her [...]
Sadly, No! » Shit Moat Destroya said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:10
[...] learned much from Amy Alkon these past few days that is startling, perverse and downright hi-larious — starting with the notion that poor black women who get shot and killed by the cops value [...]
Jennifer said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:22
You now have the ungodly honor of being featured on his highness’s web blog – Mr Glenn Sucks himself. Oh to be in your shoes and to have that honor (NOT!!!) Seriously though be prepared for the crazies to come out. You will be verbally attacked. You will probably have the pleasure of meeting woman good, man bad poster and a variety of well – loose cannons. Have fun and I am glad he (Mr Sucks oooops Sacks) posted a link to your blog :-)
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:28
So, I am not sure why talking about “litters” of babies without fathers is racist.
You are making some sort of claim that she was speaking of black babies — can you back that up?
What is it you associate with African Americans, or Africans in general that you believe “litter” associates more closely to them, than to what she was writing about, women with lots of babies who have different fathers, and often fathers involved in crime?
When I consider the various and usual racist slurs that racists associate with Africans, and filter down to the ones relating to animals, none of those animals have litters.
So I have no idea what you’re talking about.
I do think that satire and parody are wonderful elements of communication, but I am not so sure about using heckling attacks to deny service. That just seems to destroy any sort of dialog.
(Also, I see a lot of transphobia on your site, and see no transphobia or homophobia at her site. Sorry, but you may want to check your own shorts first.)
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:36
You are making some sort of claim that she was speaking of black babies — can you back that up?
Yes.
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:41
What you see at this site is everthing that gets posted – what you see at her site is whatever she chooses not to delete or ban (posts which do not disagree with her position).
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:42
You are making some sort of claim that she was speaking of black babies — can you back that up?
Yes.
I’ll interpret that as a Sadly, No! Or in wiki speak, your claim of yes, {needs citation}.
RT, Just saying something is so, doesn’t make it so, except in the world of wingnuts and bigots.
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:44
If you bothered to read you would learn that she was referring specifically to black babies.
But here: http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/10661.html
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:52
What you see at this site is everthing that gets posted – what you see at her site is whatever she chooses not to delete or ban (posts which do not disagree with her position).
In two years of reading, I’ve never seen her not post anything up until yesterday when she said she wouldn’t post the 3000 word screeds from hecklers.
I can’t vouch for this site, but there are many many leftosphere websites that moderate, delete, modify many times everyday. Pandagon, being of course, the prime example. But also the mahablog and many others.
I like Alkon, and I think at times her views are pretty out there. But she has always been for free speech and dialog, and yet, I don’t see a whole lot of dialog going on here, mainly just mocking claims she is a tranny, and more serious charges she is a racist that do everything but take a look at her actual claims.
So you are telling me that most people at Sadly No would say that a woman who has had 5 kids in six years starting at 17 and where all of those kids have had different fathers, and all were drug dealers, you’d say she’s a good mother?
Or you’d say that condoms, the pill, the morning after pill, emergency contraception are so unknown or so expensive that we should not expect this woman to have used them.
Alkon condemns the shooting, and I think the shooting should be investigated.
Of course the situation you are arguing about is this: cop shoots into dark room during a drug raid vs. woman over a course of six years has five kids, all from drug dealers, all different fathers, hypothetically, which ones values life less.
I think it’s a dumb question, we really can’t say anything about this. The cop has a very difficult job, the war on drugs is stupid and creates situations like this, and if he did shoot in violation of policies, or laws, or her civil rights, then he should be punished.
But as to whether the mother was a shitty mother and parent and incredibly stupid. Yes. I find it curious how no one at Sadly No will acknowledge that, and in fact, all seem to be saying her choices were either just fine, or created by some evil society. In doing so, I think you folks are being condescending and frankly, racist. Many many people have been in similar situations or worse and have figured out how to live, parent a child, and not have so many kids you have to rely on drug dealers.
As to whether you folks in your knee jerk need to mock others and make yourselves superior have had to overlook the actual claims? Sadly, Yes.
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:55
Sadly, No! RT.
Reading that post of general mocking will teach no one anything about what she was writing about.
Perhaps YOU need to read. Read her post and read a sampling of her posts.
She’s basically down on parenthood and kids in general, and thinks most parents lack responsibility and pump out too many kids that they then don’t control. You can see that in the other post discussed here where she blames kids’ addiction to smack on helicopter parenting.
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 21:57
I’ve never seen her not post anything up until yesterday when she said she wouldn’t post the 3000 word screeds from hecklers.
Now you have. There is far more free speech here than there.
mainly just mocking claims she is a tranny
Then you’re not getting the point.
I think the shooting should be investigated.
You have more reading to do.
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:00
She deleted at least 40 posts in the few hours I’ve been reading last night and today. Some were admittedly snarky, many were short pithy comments on either her points or her commenters points, and a good number were reasoned, civil arguments of a paragraph or two length discussing either the original post or other items with which the blog seemed to be dealing. I suspect there were many more posts that I didn’t see (and commenters who were prevented from posting because they had been, and are still, banned). The deleting and banning will probably subside, as many interested parties are just reposting comments here (and elsewhere), where they can be discussed freely, as I’m sure we’ll be doing with you.
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:03
Liberal bloggers who delete comments and ban commenters.
Atrios
Pandagon
Shakesville
Lawyers Guns and Money
TalkLeft
Mahablog
Feministe
Feministing
Crying over her deleted posts? Why not address the situation at Pandagon first, they are an awful lot more widely read that Alkon, and the racist and sexist shit they get away with is far worse.
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:06
Liberal bloggers who delete comments and ban commenters.
Do they claim not to ban people? Amy does.
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:08
I’m sorry, I understood that you were defending her policy of deleting posts and banning commenters. Welcome to Sadly, No!
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:11
“There is more free speech here.”
Well, as I’ve said, I’ve never seen her delete anything until she was basically harassed from Sadly, No! and piled on in the past 48 hours.
But are you really wanting to have a “free speech” dick fight? Because I think that most blogs have pretty abysmal records regarding free speech and commenting policies.
What has happened at her blog, and what Sadly, No! often seems about is the well known penny arcade, establishing more data in favor of the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2004/03/19/
Very few people on the net have good free speech commenting policies, and the problem of course is the Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory as well as how it plays out in real life, where people, offended on the net, will call up employers, post private information, and just go off the edge.
Even here, where you claim there is more free speech, your signal to noise ration is so low as to make your signal barely distinguishable from just plain ugly speech.
Being part of a website that encourages ugly speech and the harassment of others is NOT why we defend free speech so vigorously. We defend free speech and even your ugly speech because the way to defeat ugly speech is more free speech.
Don’t confuse ugly speech, pileons, and harassment as something virtuous in themselves.
smut clyde said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:15
They’ll ban you if you doubt that there’s a Ruppert,
They’ll ban you if you sound like a sock-puppet.
They’ll ban you if the cards are on the table.
They’ll ban you if you call them “Uncle Mabel”.
I really wish my second line had scanned;
Everybody must get banned!
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:15
I’m sorry, I understood that you were defending her policy of deleting posts and banning commenters. Welcome to Sadly, No!
I am, and I am not.
I really dislike all the banning and deleting I see going on all over the blogosphere. But I also dislike all the incredibly shallow discourse, where someone says something that seems outrageous and the result is just abuse.
So there are bloggers who I like, who have lots of great stuff to say, and yet their comment threads are completely worthless.
Comment threads apparently do need moderation. Very very little hopefully. And uniformly applied.
She is far from the most egregious offender, and as I’ve said, I’ve never seen her moderate anything until now.
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:16
Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory as well as how it plays out in real life, where people, offended on the net, will call up employers, post private information, and just go off the edge.
That’d be Amy. See above.
Even here, where you claim there is more free speech, your signal to noise ration is so low
We disagree. This is a place where jokes are made and we make them.
Don’t confuse ugly speech, pileons, and harassment as something virtuous in themselves.
Given that you can’t actually see what speech Amy is deleting it must be comforting cuddling your beliefs.
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:17
Even here, where you claim there is more free speech, your signal to noise ration [sic] is so low as to make your signal barely distinguishable from just plain ugly speech.
keep talking – the ration hasn’t moved yet.
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:20
(this is fun! – new toys!)
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:32
Yeah, I misspelled ratio. You got me.
A long time ago, it was decided that we don’t hold bloggers responsible for the commenters. And similarly long long ago, it was decided that bloggers get to delete or ban or change any thing they wish.
I wish it wasn’t so, but I don’t make the rules.
I am sorry if you are upset your comments were deleted.
I agree with you that Sadly, No! which has never banned a commenter or deleted a comment is the most free speech site on the net.
I really am sorry that your comments were deleted. I’d love to give you a hug and make you feel better.
Here’s the bloggers on your blog list that I know delete comments and ban commenters:
* alicublog
* Atrios
* Boing Boing
* Lawyers, Guns and Money
* Talking Points Memo (TPM Cafe)
There are several others I am pretty sure do, but I don’t know that as fact.
Perhaps you misunderestimate how many people, like you, have just discovered that bloggers delete comments.
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:34
I am sorry if you are upset your comments were deleted.
…aaaaaaaaaaaaannd the argument collapses.
Simba B said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:37
The others on your list I can envision that, yes, they might do the baleet-n-ban but I’m having a hard time believing that Roy (of alicublog) deletes comments on a regular basis.
Doctorb said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:39
A lot of this is like the claims (when he was running) that Warren G Harding was black (that is, had a black ancestor). Harding was a hateful and awful person who certainly deserved to have bad things said about him; black people, though, didn’t (and don’t) deserve to have their group identity used as a slur.
And of course, Warren G Harding was the most racist bastard of a US President since Woodrow “let’s segregate the government” Wilson.
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:40
I have to go RT, I hope you find your comfy pillow. Having had your comment deleted when all you’ve done is express your free speech can be devastating, I know.
I doubt it will help you feel better to consider her banning you an act of her own free speech.
Maybe you can blog about it, but considering how much it hurts you to have had your comment deleted and having been banned, maybe you should get a livejournal instead where you can post your current mood. (Or twitter it!)
ckc (not kc) said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:41
See, here’s the thing, anon (if I may call you that). Over on Amy’s blog, as we speak (in a not too ugly fashion), is a commenter saying, among other things (you’ll have to go there to check out the context):
Now, here at S,N!, we have a choice of dealing with the factual inaccuracies in the statement, or dwelling at length on what it means to be a full blown “liberal”. We try to do it with humor where possible, and the best of us can combine correction with glee. We do practice hard (thank you for coming), but sometimes, to be honest, our “targets”, if you will, combine ignorance, stupidity, dishonesty and/or a lack of sense of humor to the point where they don’t appreciate our efforts. Perhaps it was wrong of us to take our humor to a place with so many targets – it’s nice to have them visiting us now.
Jennifer said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:41
This is quite amusing. I wonder who anon is. What I mean is which one of GS’s illustrious commenters/followers groupies will claim to be anon? Or could it be the man of the hour himself. Geesh I have not had this much fun reading in years!!!! Please keep this coming………
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:44
Anon seems to be GS commenter Alex to me.
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:46
I may be wrong about Roy, but that was my personal remembrance of a few years ago. The others we all know they do. So let’s subtract Roy from that list. It still leaves RT blogrolling lots of anti-free speech people who will make RT cry.
I have a train to catch.
anon said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:51
Gotta get the Amtrak, I’m posting in my flip flops while sipping an iced coffee from Flagstaff, that right wing bastion. Ask the SN folks for IP addresses to confirm.
We all have this weird thing in our heads: in a world of 6B, there’s only one person who disagrees with me. If I see someone at more than one site disagreeing with me, they must be the same person.
Hence, I must be Alex, or Glenn, I can’t be a rational, intelligent human (and liberal) being who just happens to disagree with you.
It’s because you guys are all so special.
Anyway, nice to see the argument progress as predicted: ignore the argument, delegitimize the person you are arguing with.
Righteous Thugga said,
August 17, 2008 at 22:57
Anyway, nice to see the argument progress as predicted: ignore the argument, delegitimize the person you are arguing with.
Um, no. Your arguments failed. Or do you want to start with You are making some sort of claim that she was speaking of black babies — can you back that up?</i?
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 23:13
I like Alkon, and I think at times her views are pretty out there. But she has
always been for free speech and dialog
Explain to me this: I left a polite comment on her blog which she kept up and responded to. When I tried to leave another comment in response to her response, I discovered she’d banned me.
She did this to many other people who weren’t being rude or offensive. She also left their initial comments up.
She also concocted a whole load of horseshit such as that she has a friend who knows Gary Ruppert. This is an impossibility.
That she would have credibility in your mind makes you a fool.
Lesley said,
August 17, 2008 at 23:17
Perhaps you misunderestimate how many people, like you, have just discovered that bloggers delete comments.
Geezus Cripes, is George Bush posting here now?
Concern trolls are never the brightest people.
Doctorb said,
August 17, 2008 at 23:21
So you are telling me that most people at Sadly No would say that a woman who has had 5 kids in six years starting at 17 and where all of those kids have had different fathers, and all were drug dealers, you’d say she’s a good mother?
I’m sure I wouldn’t say that. I would definitely not say, though, that if she were to be shot to death in her own home by the police, not because she was thought to be a violent criminal, or a nonviolent criminal, but because she lived somewhere where the cops could get a no-knock SWAT team kick-down-the-door-and-shoot-blindly warrant, that she was more culpable than the guy who shot her to death.
And if I did say something like that, I wouldn’t then claim “but I can’t be racist because I take time out every month to lecture young black girls not to squeeze out litters of black babies and go on welfare,” unless I were a performance artist of some kind.
Raijin said,
August 17, 2008 at 23:29
I got banned and deleted after a grand total of one comment! I feel so special. If I cared enough to make some sort of point, I would leave work, go home, post a comment, go to a friend’s house, post a comment, go to a different friend’s house, post another comment, go to a coffee shop, and post yet another comment. But she ain’t worth the gas.
Ahh, authoritarians.
Doctorb said,
August 17, 2008 at 23:33
Upthread is a big list of proxy servers that should work.
Malaclypse said,
August 18, 2008 at 0:14
“Here’s the bloggers on your blog list that I know delete comments and ban commenters:
* alicublog
* Atrios
* Boing Boing”
I know Boing Boing only disemvowels, but they don’t ban. Disemvowling they do quite a bit.
tigrismus said,
August 18, 2008 at 0:42
I think she’s wrong on alicublog, at least as a matter of regular policy. I’d guess if he bans folks, it’s probably they way they do it here: you pretty much have to vault a country mile over the line. I doubt if he’d do it just because someone made a contrary argument.
Righteous Thugga said,
August 18, 2008 at 0:44
In any case, there’s a difference between deletion policies that get rid of useless material and ones that delete arguments that are unwelcome.
Jennifer said,
August 18, 2008 at 1:51
Another thing I find so amusing is that GS states how awful this blog is. Well you all here are pointing out that Amy is removing posts (censoring) and I have proof that GS is doing the same. I know for a fact that two posts have been made to his blog and they are not being approved. So who is exercising censorship now?
Glenn's Sac said,
August 18, 2008 at 2:20
There is no censorship on my site — I challenge you to find *one* comment on there of someone legitimately claiming to have been censored. You can’t. You just can’t.
Sheesh.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2008 at 4:53
You fuckers. I fucking spank idiots, and then hold my tongue and fucking bend over backwards engaging those fucking morons she has commenting at her site. I fucking slave away for fucking hours, lots of them too, and fucking get her to admit all sorts of crazy ass shit – and then I fucking leave that place intact. I’ve got AdviceGoddess regulars consider whether it’s fucking reasonable or not to assume that Tarika Wilson desrved to be shot. I’ve got Alkon herself admitting that her crusade against single parenthood means it’s okay to ignore the fact that a baby was shot.
And then during my four day internet hiatus you fuckers go and fuck the fucking fuck out of that fuckhole!!!!
Well, actually, it’s fucking hilarious, I’m just pissed that I didn’t get to see it go down real-time. 770 comments? I may as well give up on this whole Alkon thing.
ckc (not kc) said,
August 18, 2008 at 4:55
oh, I think there’s lots of life in the old girl (?) yet
ckc (not kc) said,
August 18, 2008 at 4:59
PS – welcome back, DKW!
ckc (not kc) said,
August 18, 2008 at 5:02
don’t miss the subsidiary site at http://glennsacks.com/blog/?p=2642
Doctorb said,
August 18, 2008 at 5:03
DKW, it’s even worse than that — we’ve driven Amy, previously a sensible liberal who hung out with Matt Welch and Mickey Kaus, to become a conservative, because she’s so personally offended by all the libel and slander and defamation and other ill-treatment. We fucked up big-time: this is not just some blogger; this is the advice fucking goddess!
I love semicolons; they are fucking great!
ckc (not kc) said,
August 18, 2008 at 5:04
(Don’t miss the subsidiary site at http_glennsacks_com/blog/?p=2642)
(You’ll have to rebuild the URL – can’t be bothered dancing with WP)
ckc (not kc) said,
August 18, 2008 at 5:07
{Don’t miss the subsidiary action at Glenn Sacks site – look for Pro-Fatherhood Columnist Under Siege – can’t be bothered trying to dance a URL past WP, but you’ll enjoy the stuff there.)
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2008 at 5:14
Thanks ckc.
Oh and I don’t see what Doctorb and RB see in semicolons; I couldn’t give half a shit about them.
Dragon-King Wangchuck said,
August 18, 2008 at 5:22
Incidentally, I just had a comment deleted over at Alkon’s. If she want’s to go back and scrub me, it’s going to make the previous threads look really fucking stupid because I was sort of the centerpiece for large spans of those threads.
jennyh said,
August 18, 2008 at 7:43
Heres something you guys need to read.
U.S. Constitution Online
FAQ Topics Messages Documents Timeline Kids Vermont
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The United States Constitution
Is spending on presidential campaigns out of control? Let us know what you think!
Today’s special event:
On August 18, 1920, the 19th Amendment was ratified. Commemorate the day by reading your Constitution.
The Constitution is presented in several ways on this site. This page presents the Constitution on one large HTML-enhanced page. Other pages present the Constitution as a series of individual pages, in plain text, in standard Palm DOC format, and in enhanced TealDoc format. A quick reference is also available, as are photos of the Constitution. The Constitution of China is available for comparison.
In these pages, superseded text is presented like this: (This is superseded text.) Added text that is not a part of the Constitution is presented like this: (This is added text.)
You are this page’s visitor # since April 1997.
——————————————————————————–
Contents
Preamble
Article 1 – The Legislative Branch
Section 1 – The Legislature
Section 2 – The House
Section 3 – The Senate
Section 4 – Elections, Meetings
Section 5 – Membership, Rules, Journals, Adjournment
Section 6 – Compensation
Section 7 – Revenue Bills, Legislative Process, Presidential Veto
Section 8 – Powers of Congress
Section 9 – Limits on Congress
Section 10 – Powers Prohibited of States
Article 2 – The Executive Branch
Section 1 – The President
Section 2 – Civilian Power over Military, Cabinet, Pardon Power, Appointments
Section 3 – State of the Union, Convening Congress
Section 4 – Disqualification
Article 3 – The Judicial Branch
Section 1 – Judicial Powers
Section 2 – Trial by Jury, Original Jurisdiction, Jury Trials
Section 3 – Treason
Article 4 – The States
Section 1 – Each State to Honor All Others
Section 2 – State Citizens, Extradition
Section 3 – New States
Section 4 – Republican Government
Article 5 – Amendment
Article 6 – Debts, Supremacy, Oaths
Article 7 – Ratification
Signatories
Amendments
Amendment 1 – Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression
Amendment 2 – Right to Bear Arms
Amendment 3 – Quartering of Soldiers
Amendment 4 – Search and Seizure
Amendment 5 – Trial and Punishment, Compensation for Takings
Amendment 6 – Right to Speedy Trial, Confrontation of Witnesses
Amendment 7 – Trial by Jury in Civil Cases
Amendment 8 – Cruel and Unusual Punishment
Amendment 9 – Construction of Constitution
Amendment 10 – Powers of the States and People
Amendment 11 – Judicial Limits
Amendment 12 – Choosing the President, Vice President
Amendment 13 – Slavery Abolished
Amendment 14 – Citizenship Rights
Amendment 15 – Race No Bar to Vote
Amendment 16 – Status of Income Tax Clarified
Amendment 17 – Senators Elected by Popular Vote
Amendment 18 – Liquor Abolished
Amendment 19 – Women’s Suffrage
Amendment 20 – Presidential, Congressional Terms
Amendment 21 – Amendment 18 Repealed
Amendment 22 – Presidential Term Limits
Amendment 23 – Presidential Vote for District of Columbia
Amendment 24 – Poll Taxes Barred
Amendment 25 – Presidential Disability and Succession
Amendment 26 – Voting Age Set to 18 Years
Amendment 27 – Limiting Congressional Pay Increases
——————————————————————————–
The Constitution of the United States
Preamble Note
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.
——————————————————————————–
Article. I. – The Legislative Branch Note
Section 1 – The Legislature
All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.
Section 2 – The House
The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.
No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.
(Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.) (The previous sentence in parentheses was modified by the 14th Amendment, section 2.) The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five and Georgia three.
When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.
The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.
Section 3 – The Senate
The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, (chosen by the Legislature thereof,) (The preceding words in parentheses superseded by 17th Amendment, section 1.) for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.
Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; (and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.) (The preceding words in parentheses were superseded by the 17th Amendment, section 2.)
No person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.
The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.
The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.
The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.
Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.
Section 4 – Elections, Meetings
The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Place of Chusing Senators.
The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall (be on the first Monday in December,) (The preceding words in parentheses were superseded by the 20th Amendment, section 2.) unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.
Section 5 – Membership, Rules, Journals, Adjournment
Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.
Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behavior, and, with the Concurrence of two-thirds, expel a Member.
Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.
Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.
Section 6 – Compensation
(The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States.) (The preceding words in parentheses were modified by the 27th Amendment.) They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.
No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been increased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.
Section 7 – Revenue Bills, Legislative Process, Presidential Veto
All bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.
Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by Yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.
Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.
Section 8 – Powers of Congress
The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;
To borrow money on the credit of the United States;
To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;
To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;
To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;
To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;
To establish Post Offices and Post Roads;
To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;
To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;
To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offenses against the Law of Nations;
To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;
To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;
To provide and maintain a Navy;
To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;
To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;
To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;
To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings; And
To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.
Section 9 – Limits on Congress
The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.
The privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.
No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.
(No capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken.) (Section in parentheses clarified by the 16th Amendment.)
No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.
No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.
No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.
No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince or foreign State.
Section 10 – Powers prohibited of States
No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.
No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it’s inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.
No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.
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Article. II. – The Executive Branch Note
Section 1 – The President Note1 Note2
The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice-President chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows:
Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.
(The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two persons, of whom one at least shall not lie an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; a quorum for this Purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two-thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice-President.) (This clause in parentheses was superseded by the 12th Amendment.)
The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.
No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.
(In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.) (This clause in parentheses has been modified by the 20th and 25th Amendments.)
The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them.
Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:
“I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.”
Section 2 – Civilian Power over Military, Cabinet, Pardon Power, Appointments
The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to Grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offenses against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.
He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.
The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.
Section 3 – State of the Union, Convening Congress
He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.
Section 4 – Disqualification
The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.
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Article III. – The Judicial Branch Note
Section 1 – Judicial powers
The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behavior, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.
Section 2 – Trial by Jury, Original Jurisdiction, Jury Trials
(The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority; to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls; to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction; to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party; to Controversies between two or more States; between a State and Citizens of another State; between Citizens of different States; between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.) (This section in parentheses is modified by the 11th Amendment.)
In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.
The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.
Section 3 – Treason Note
Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.
The Congress shall have power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.
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Article. IV. – The States
Section 1 – Each State to Honor all others
Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.
Section 2 – State citizens, Extradition
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.
A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.
(No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, But shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.) (This clause in parentheses is superseded by the 13th Amendment.)
Section 3 – New States
New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new States shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.
The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.
Section 4 – Republican government
The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.
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Article. V. – Amendment Note1 – Note2 – Note3
The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.
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Article. VI. – Debts, Supremacy, Oaths
All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.
This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.
The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.
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Article. VII. – Ratification Documents
The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.
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Done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth. In Witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names. Note
Go Washington – President and deputy from Virginia
New Hampshire – John Langdon, Nicholas Gilman
Massachusetts – Nathaniel Gorham, Rufus King
Connecticut – Wm Saml Johnson, Roger Sherman
New York – Alexander Hamilton
New Jersey – Wil Livingston, David Brearley, Wm Paterson, Jona. Dayton
Pensylvania – B Franklin, Thomas Mifflin, Robt Morris, Geo. Clymer, Thos FitzSimons, Jared Ingersoll, James Wilson, Gouv Morris
Delaware – Geo. Read, Gunning Bedford jun, John Dickinson, Richard Bassett, Jaco. Broom
Maryland – James McHenry, Dan of St Tho Jenifer, Danl Carroll
Virginia – John Blair, James Madison Jr.
North Carolina – Wm Blount, Richd Dobbs Spaight, Hu Williamson
South Carolina – J. Rutledge, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney, Charles Pinckney, Pierce Butler
Georgia – William Few, Abr Baldwin
Attest: William Jackson, Secretary
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The Amendments Note
The following are the Amendments to the Constitution. The first ten Amendments collectively are commonly known as the Bill of Rights. History
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Amendment 1 – Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
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Amendment 2 – Right to Bear Arms. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
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Amendment 3 – Quartering of Soldiers. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
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Amendment 4 – Search and Seizure. Ratified 12/15/1791.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.
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Amendment 5 – Trial and Punishment, Compensation for Takings. Ratified 12/15/1791.
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.
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Amendment 6 – Right to Speedy Trial, Confrontation of Witnesses. Ratified 12/15/1791.
In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.
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Amendment 7 – Trial by Jury in Civil Cases. Ratified 12/15/1791.
In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.
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Amendment 8 – Cruel and Unusual Punishment. Ratified 12/15/1791.
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.
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Amendment 9 – Construction of Constitution. Ratified 12/15/1791.
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
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Amendment 10 – Powers of the States and People. Ratified 12/15/1791. Note
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.
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Amendment 11 – Judicial Limits. Ratified 2/7/1795. Note History
The Judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another State, or by Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State.
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Amendment 12 – Choosing the President, Vice-President. Ratified 6/15/1804. Note History The Electoral College
The Electors shall meet in their respective states, and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves; they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted for as Vice-President, and they shall make distinct lists of all persons voted for as President, and of all persons voted for as Vice-President and of the number of votes for each, which lists they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the seat of the government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate;
The President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates and the votes shall then be counted;
The person having the greatest Number of votes for President, shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers not exceeding three on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President. But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice. And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth day of March next following, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in the case of the death or other constitutional disability of the President.
The person having the greatest number of votes as Vice-President, shall be the Vice-President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed, and if no person have a majority, then from the two highest numbers on the list, the Senate shall choose the Vice-President; a quorum for the purpose shall consist of two-thirds of the whole number of Senators, and a majority of the whole number shall be necessary to a choice. But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.
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Amendment 13 – Slavery Abolished. Ratified 12/6/1865. History
1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
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Amendment 14 – Citizenship Rights. Ratified 7/9/1868. Note History
1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.
2. Representatives shall be apportioned among the several States according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each State, excluding Indians not taxed. But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice-President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the Executive and Judicial officers of a State, or the members of the Legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such State, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such State.
3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.
4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any State shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.
5. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.
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Amendment 15 – Race No Bar to Vote. Ratified 2/3/1870. History
1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.
2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
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Amendment 16 – Status of Income Tax Clarified. Ratified 2/3/1913. Note History
The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.
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Amendment 17 – Senators Elected by Popular Vote. Ratified 4/8/1913. History
The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, elected by the people thereof, for six years; and each Senator shall have one vote. The electors in each State shall have the qualifications requisite for electors of the most numerous branch of the State legislatures.
When vacancies happen in the representation of any State in the Senate, the executive authority of such State shall issue writs of election to fill such vacancies: Provided, That the legislature of any State may empower the executive thereof to make temporary appointments until the people fill the vacancies by election as the legislature may direct.
This amendment shall not be so construed as to affect the election or term of any Senator chosen before it becomes valid as part of the Constitution.
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Amendment 18 – Liquor Abolished. Ratified 1/16/1919. Repealed by Amendment 21, 12/5/1933. History
1. After one year from the ratification of this article the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States and all territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof for beverage purposes is hereby prohibited.
2. The Congress and the several States shall have concurrent power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
3. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.
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Amendment 19 – Women’s Suffrage. Ratified 8/18/1920. History
The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.
Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
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Amendment 20 – Presidential, Congressional Terms. Ratified 1/23/1933. History
1. The terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January, and the terms of Senators and Representatives at noon on the 3d day of January, of the years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not been ratified; and the terms of their successors shall then begin.
2. The Congress shall assemble at least once in every year, and such meeting shall begin at noon on the 3d day of January, unless they shall by law appoint a different day.
3. If, at the time fixed for the beginning of the term of the President, the President elect shall have died, the Vice President elect shall become President. If a President shall not have been chosen before the time fixed for the beginning of his term, or if the President elect shall have failed to qualify, then the Vice President elect shall act as President until a President shall have qualified; and the Congress may by law provide for the case wherein neither a President elect nor a Vice President elect shall have qualified, declaring who shall then act as President, or the manner in which one who is to act shall be selected, and such person shall act accordingly until a President or Vice President shall have qualified.
4. The Congress may by law provide for the case of the death of any of the persons from whom the House of Representatives may choose a President whenever the right of choice shall have devolved upon them, and for the case of the death of any of the persons from whom the Senate may choose a Vice President whenever the right of choice shall have devolved upon them.
5. Sections 1 and 2 shall take effect on the 15th day of October following the ratification of this article.
6. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years from the date of its submission.
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Amendment 21 – Amendment 18 Repealed. Ratified 12/5/1933. History
1. The eighteenth article of amendment to the Constitution of the United States is hereby repealed.
2. The transportation or importation into any State, Territory, or possession of the United States for delivery or use therein of intoxicating liquors, in violation of the laws thereof, is hereby prohibited.
3. The article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by conventions in the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.
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Amendment 22 – Presidential Term Limits. Ratified 2/27/1951. History
1. No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once. But this Article shall not apply to any person holding the office of President, when this Article was proposed by the Congress, and shall not prevent any person who may be holding the office of President, or acting as President, during the term within which this Article becomes operative from holding the office of President or acting as President during the remainder of such term.
2. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years from the date of its submission to the States by the Congress.
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Amendment 23 – Presidential Vote for District of Columbia. Ratified 3/29/1961. History
1. The District constituting the seat of Government of the United States shall appoint in such manner as the Congress may direct: A number of electors of President and Vice President equal to the whole number of Senators and Representatives in Congress to which the District would be entitled if it were a State, but in no event more than the least populous State; they shall be in addition to those appointed by the States, but they shall be considered, for the purposes of the election of President and Vice President, to be electors appointed by a State; and they shall meet in the District and perform such duties as provided by the twelfth article of amendment.
2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
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Amendment 24 – Poll Tax Barred. Ratified 1/23/1964. History
1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other election for President or Vice President, for electors for President or Vice President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any State by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.
2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
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Amendment 25 – Presidential Disability and Succession. Ratified 2/10/1967. Note History
1. In case of the removal of the President from office or of his death or resignation, the Vice President shall become President.
2. Whenever there is a vacancy in the office of the Vice President, the President shall nominate a Vice President who shall take office upon confirmation by a majority vote of both Houses of Congress.
3. Whenever the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that he is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, and until he transmits to them a written declaration to the contrary, such powers and duties shall be discharged by the Vice President as Acting President.
4. Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.
Thereafter, when the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that no inability exists, he shall resume the powers and duties of his office unless the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive department or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit within four days to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office. Thereupon Congress shall decide the issue, assembling within forty eight hours for that purpose if not in session. If the Congress, within twenty one days after receipt of the latter written declaration, or, if Congress is not in session, within twenty one days after Congress is required to assemble, determines by two thirds vote of both Houses that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall continue to discharge the same as Acting President; otherwise, the President shall resume the powers and duties of his office.
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Amendment 26 – Voting Age Set to 18 Years. Ratified 7/1/1971. History
1. The right of citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age.
2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
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Amendment 27 – Limiting Congressional Pay Increases. Ratified 5/7/1992. History
No law, varying the compensation for the services of the Senators and Representatives, shall take effect, until an election of Representatives shall have intervened.
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The United States Constitution
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Contents
Preamble
Article 1 – The Legislative Branch
Section 1 – The Legislature
Section 2 – The House
Section 3 – The Senate
Section 4 – Elections, Meetings
Section 5 – Membership, Rules, Journals, Adjournment
Section 6 – Compensation
Section 7