First of all, the attraction to breasts is a culturally induced phenomenon, not genetically hard wired. In Western culture the breasts are kept constantly covered, which augments their mystique; in equatorial lands where the breasts of both genders are exposed, the breasts hold little or no sexual appeal.

Secondly, the breasts are only on the “front” of the body due to the evolutionary jerry-rigging which necessitated walking upright (and who the hell knows why THAT happened). In our evolutionary infancy, when humans got around on all fours like orangutans, etc., the breasts hung down like a cow’s udders. Modern brassieres have been drafted into the eventually undoable task of resisting the inevitability of gravity.

Why else would you learn to cook?

mikey

But for real lots of animals trade gifts for sex. Of course, they’re generally trying to reproduce, and the “gifts” are often food.

Awk … complete waste of money … awk … money to buy Polly a cracker … awk … Polly wanna cracker … awk … Polly will dance around a pole for money to buy a cracker … awk …

But would they shred them and weave them into nests?

If male Psittaciformes and Passerine birds were given dollar bills, I’m sure they’d use them to entice females to dance around poles. Even (well especially) fowl would do the same thing, except fowl are not smart enough to understand the concept of money.

It’s abstract, but I’m sure you grasp it.

I think the reflexive patriots can’t grasp deficits, economics, social policy, and the results thereof. They know it, so they can’t make decisions based on it.

Thus, they vote for whoever screams the loudest about their devotion to vague symbols.

Not the system I would choose. And it doesn’t even work for them.

But it’s their system and they’re sticking to it!

Hey, I thought it was funny.

I borrowed a page from the Sadly book and said “You might as well just yell ‘don’t vote for the ni**er and be done with it.” Then I challenged them to study his positions and vote based on that, not on this crap.

Then I expressed my essential optimism by noting that we’ll surely get the government we deserve.

Sigh.

To which I say, ha. Ha.

I had the distinct displeasure of watching RED-EYE, and there’s nothing conservatives are worse at than satire. I guess it’s because the rich and powerful are the subjects of satire and are, thus, incapable of using it themselves. To say nothing of the very real rage and hate that kills any spirit of humor.

Conservative satire goes contrary to the basic “rules” of comedy. Don Rickles was a genius at insulting people, to be sure, but he never went after little guys. He went after big guys like Frank Sinatra. This is because (and does it need to be said?) that picking on the powerless and poor and weak isn’t funny, it’s cruel and thuggish.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BET that during the run of RED-EYE, this statement was given in the writers’ room at least once, with a totally earnest, clueless tone:

“So I guess the ‘Hurricane Katrina Comedy Special’ plan is canceled, or…?”

Pssshhhh. Eash Hampton, indeed.

Earlier today I was in Alviso.

Then, just like that, I went to Fremont.

Yeah, I know. I do get around.

It pretty much doesn’t suck to be me…

mikey

I was in Rhode Island, now I’m in East Hampton. Journey back to Ohio begins tomorrow.

So now you know!

Lets be honest, the most jingoistic Americans are not the sort who love ALL their countrymen, or enjoy the culture of every single state and ethnic group. Those who revel in the diversity are usually extremely low key about national pride.

The confederate stars and bars is actually a nicer bit of design along the same lines.

But I think two dimensional symmetry makes for a much better flag. It makes the motif easier to transfer to different shapes other than an actual flag. Radial patterns like the imperial Japanese flag or the British union flag have a lot of visual impact, and are easier for bikers to have sprayed on their helmets. Any kind of central focus point works nicely as long as it is bold enough. The Canadian maple leaf is a good example of a strong icon which is simple enough to replicate, but instantly recognisable.

And by the by.. Not everyone can elect to become an American. There are immigration and naturalisation policies. And America has always had bronze, silver and gold levels of membership. A history of mass immigration isn’t the same thing as being an open club.

American patriotism has a really confused time with reconciling lofty principles with unprincipled actions. A quick flick through a history book deflates all the pompous declarations of “What America Stands For”.

American Jingoism is largely based on those pompous declared principles, which started out as idealistic aims for a new nation to live up to, but have become somewhat symbolic, and used to claim moral high ground where actual national actions have gone in the opposite direction. Also, the main contributor to the jingoism is national success. The last century of economic success made a lot of Americans proud of the country that could bring them that success, regardless of whatever flaws it had. As long as the money flowed, everything bad got glossed over.

Now America is starting to suffer the hangover after the binge, that main driver of national pride is starting to wane. If members of a team have nothing in common, successfulness can hold them together, but they wont remain a team for long in a time of failure.

I fully expect the north/south, urban/rural, liberal/conservative divide to get worse over the coming years. For example, the stated policies of the presidential candidates are very very different for a two party state. Even considering America is known for political extremes, I think the gaps are getting wider. It is very very clear that liberals and conservatives have an extremely different view of what an ideal America looks like.

The fact is, liberals would rather talk about sex, use dirty words and obsess over bodily functions than engage in reasoned discourse and fact-based debate

Brilliant, Gary. Spot on!