26
Throughline
I’m working on the unfinished Obama/Goldberg post below, but in the meantime, please enjoy this emerging classic of the mass-forwarded email genre.
This isn’t one of those snarky jokes we’re so often accused of making. It’s real, and it’s likely coming soon to an inbox near you (replete with nine-hundred AOL and Hotmail addresses in the ‘cc’ column).
You’ve heard of the Clinton Body Count, and now it’s time for…
The Obama Death List
The following is a partial list of deaths of persons connected to Barack HUSSEIN Obama during his time inside the United States. Read the list and judge for yourself…
SARAH BERKLEY - Author of “The Jihad at the Ballot Box” - a book examining Obama’s relationship with radical Islam. Died in a mysterious car crash in 2003.
RUSSELL MCDOUGAL - Former FBI operative, January 23rd, 2007. McDougal was known to hold sensitive information about meetings Barack Obama had with arms smugglers. His wife was murdered March 2006 after he went public with his initial reports. His father died July 8, 2006 four hours after McDougal presented his findings on the Savage Nation. Suffered administrative retaliation after reporting discussions by jihadist groups concerning Obama to his superiors.
RODRIGO VILLALOPEZ, a television news camera man who shot the footage of Obama describing small town voters as “bitter” and “clinging to their guns during the primary season.
BRIAN GORING - A defense attorney for Obama patron Antoin Rezko during his trial for extortion and bribery. Died of apparent “natural causes.”
MERCEDES HUGLEY, one of Obama’s many white, female conquests while at Harvard. Filed sexual assault charges against Obama for date rape in 1990. Because “date rape” was not considered a crime like it is today, she ended up dropping the charges. Two years later, she was found dead of an apparent cocaine overdose.
Fun game: Try to determine how many of these people even exist. We’re coming up cold blank on several so far, including the ‘Sarah Berkley’ who wrote the apparently nonexistent book, The Jihad at the Ballot Box — which is, you know, supposed to have tied Obama to radical Islam at some point during his career as an Illinois state senator. The best might be Darsano Rahardjo (below). Egad, who can say it isn’t true?!
TAMIKA HILL - A former secretary for Obama’s office in Chicago was murdered July 6, 2005 at a rib shack in the south side. Hill had spoken off the record with a reporter from the Chicago Sun Times about meetings Obama had with black militants in the city. She was murdered before she could ever be properly interviewed.
HASAD AL SHAREEZ - FBI informant. Reported to his handler in January 2001 that he had a tape about of a person named simply “B. Hussein” meeting with 9/11 hijacker Mohatma Atta in Prague. Was found shot in the basement of a mosque in Dearborn, MI in October, 2001.
DARSANO RAHARDJO - Childhood classmate of Barack Obama when he attended a madrassa in Indonesia. Was found with his head cut off in a Jakarta alley way in 1970. Many children at the school attributed Rahardjo’s murder to the young Barack Obama. It was likely done as an initiation ritual, since Islam demands that a boy spill another’s blood before the age of ten to prove their loyalty to Allah.
REVEREND DAVID MANNING - Former head of the Trinity Baptist Church in Chicago. Was murdered during the apparent robbery of a catfish restaurant in 1972. Shortly afterwards, Rev. Jeremiah Wright took over as head of Trinity and a many parishoners (who later left the church) suspected Wright in having a hand in Reverend Manning’s death. Decades later, Manning’s son JAMAL MANNING was found dead of an apparent crack overdose in 2004. It was rumored he was going to bring evidence of Wright’s complicity in his father’s death. His testimony was timed to coincide with Obama’s first senate race.
CHRISTOPHER HARGROVE, A former lover of Larry Sinclair. Found dead in a hotel room of apparent auto-erotic asphyxiation in January 2001. Was said to have been enraged when he found out that Sinclair had cheated on Jackson with Obama in the back of a limousine. To get revenge, Jackson planned to release digital pictures Sinclair had taken of the encounter on the Internet.
PAUL ROTHCHILD - Democrat National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Washington DC in 2003. A “friend and trusted advisor” to senatorial candidate Barack Obama. Dead of an apparent suicide.
CURTIS “POOKIE” JACKSON - Chicago drug dealer. Was the subject of a police investigation in which he was suspected of funneling money to Obama’s many various community projects. Killed in 1998 in an apparent gang murder.
HARVEY KENYON - Head of Obama’s senatorial security team in Chicago. Gunned down in his car at a deserted intersection outside of Grant Park in 2005. Kenyon’s son said his father was building a dossier on Obama. He allegedly threatened to reveal this information. After he died the files were mysteriously removed from his house
SHEILA BAUGH - A Washington DC madame. Died from a gunshot wound. Reported to have a black book of people containing names of influential people who visited the prostitutes in her brothel. One of those names was allegedly Barack Obama.
KEYSHAWN “SPOON” CALWORTH - Was found dead of an apparent heroin overdose May 18, 1997. Was reported to have ties to Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
LAWSHAWNA MARTIN- 26 year old mother of five, a Cabrini Green resident with a history of substance abuse. Told two of her co-workers at the Blue Peppermint Gentleman’s Club that she would have to quit work because she was pregnant again. Strongly implied that the “baby daddy” was Barack Obama. The next week, she was reported missing. No body was ever recovered, but Lawshana has not resurfaced since making those remarks.
BILL FERGUSON- Senior aide to Barack Obama. Found dead of an apparent heart attack.
GANDY BAUGH - Attorney for Obama friend Antonin Rezko died by falling out an eightieth story window of the Hancock Tower, January, 2003. His client was a convicted Chinese spy.
bliekker said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:45
Funny that the people putting these things out never figure that they may be next…
Tomas said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:45
Day-um. I thought Supa-fly wuz bai-ud.
alec said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:48
There’s so many things hilariously wrong about this it’s hard to start (really, the Clinton Death List wasn’t so crass as to conflate Nazi spy-fic with a major religion), but here I go:
CURTIS “POOKIE” JACKSON - Chicago drug dealer. Was the subject of a police investigation in which he was suspected of funneling money to Obama’s many various community projects. Killed in 1998 in an apparent gang murder.
Because drug dealers are a dime a dozen in Chicago - it’s when they start giving money to small-time church-based labor organizers that things get really suspicious.
What fucking planet did these people come from? Is it drugs? Are they for sale? Jesus.
alec said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:49
GANDY BAUGH - Attorney for Obama friend Antonin Rezko died by falling out an eightieth story window of the Hancock Tower, January, 2003. His client was a convicted Chinese spy.
I like that they use ‘Antonin’, presumably (a) to make it sound more ethnic and (b) to hide the fact that Rezko was a convicted Chinese spy like Joe McCarthy was a Cold War spymaster.
alec said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:52
KEYSHAWN “SPOON” CALWORTH - Was found dead of an apparent heroin overdose May 18, 1997. Was reported to have ties to Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
If these people were consistent about the ONGO-BONGO SHAME horseshit - or at least had the capacity for higher reasoning God gave to the macacque - they might perhaps have realized that someone people call ‘Spoon’ dying of a heroin overdose isn’t exactly a Usual Suspects-level twist.
Simba B said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:53
This isn’t one of those snarky jokes we’re so often accused of making.
You know, if you were to forward one of those jokes as the real thing to, say, your right wing dad, it would become real.
Talk about acting to create your own reality.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:57
If you read this list out loud, after 7 days Barack Obama appears in a mirror and calls you a schmuck!
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:59
Filed sexual assault charges against Obama for date rape in 1990. Because “date rape” was not considered a crime like it is today, she ended up dropping the charges.
Really? She charged him with sexual assault herself? I thought the DA had to do that. I guess since it wasn’t a crime yet, they let her have her fun.
Blue Buddha said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:59
From Clinton’s list:
#11: Gandy Baugh - attorney for Dan Lasater in a financial misconduct case. Supposedly jumped out the window of a tall building to commit suicide.
From Obama’s list:
GANDY BAUGH - Attorney for Obama friend Antonin Rezko died by falling out an eightieth story window of the Hancock Tower, January, 2003. His client was a convicted Chinese spy.
You’d think at the very least they wouldn’t copy and paste from Clinton’s list.
alec said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:01
If you read this list out loud, after 7 days Barack Obama appears in a mirror and calls you a schmuck!
OH MY GOD
HE WAS A SECRET JEW ALL ALONG
HOW COULD WE HAVE BEEN SO BLIND
(cue Yakity Sax, reverse-holocaust)
sophronia said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:06
My favorite is the kid Obama decapitated when he was 9 years old. Reported complete with a blood-libel smear against Muslims. And remember, the e-mail itself tells you that Snopes says it’s true!
MaineMan said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:08
JAY-zuz!! If even half this crap were true, Obama should skip right over the piddling Presidency and go straight to Director of Ops at the CIA. Or be put in charge of all military Special Forces.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:11
On the day after election night, if all goes well and Barack Hussein Obama X triumphs with a filibuster-proof Senate and full-bore Communislamosexual House, many of our right wing friends will become this guy.
Gundamhead said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:15
Wow, so Obama is actually a bisexual, cokefiend, jihadist, evil genius super villain who controls a massive criminal organization and is able to arrange flawless “accidents” for anyone who annoys him, and yet remain a respectable and popular public figure? Like the Black Lex Luthor or something? Well then, I’m definitely voting for him. Unlike the current evil overlords, Obama is at least competent.
Bumper said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:16
Well, a quick Google search on Gandy Baugh shows that he was also on the Clinton death list and also apparently jumped out of a building to his death, only in 1994. Snopes, however, says he died at home in 1994. Unless there are two Gandy Baughs, both of whom are attorneys with shady clients, and who both jumped to their deaths to make it onto Democratic death lists, I think you can cross this one off.
zuzu's petals said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:17
Yeah, the only one that sounds halfway plausible is the 9-year-old Barack decapitating one of his playmates in an alley.
Brandi said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:19
I just gave Snopes the heads-up about this one– it’s not on their list yet.
His Grace said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:22
WTF? So it wasn’t Saddam who met with Atta, it was an Illinois state senator who had future presidential ambitions who foolishly allowed himself to be videotaped? And Barrack is such a liberal fascist that he was able to infiltrate the FBI, find out about they guy who had the tape, kill him with no evidence leading back to him?
Ummm, I’m gonna paraphrase Twain here if nobody minds:
I used to think that we got the government we deserved. Now I’ve come to the conclusion that God hates us.
Seanly said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:23
Obama was the captain of the alien ship that kidnapped me. On board with me for the probing were Jim Morrison, Elvis, the black Michael Jackson and Sherlock Holmes.
bliekker said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:24
That’s funny GANDY BAUGH was killed by Clinton in ‘94.
See number 11.
Red said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:24
My God! Someone get Richard Mellon Scaife on this! And call in the goddamn fucking Hardly Boys!
gocart mozart said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:25
ITS TRUE, I CALLED OBAMA AN OREO ONE TIME, NOT JUST ANY OREO , BUT ONE OF THOSE ONES WITH EXTRA FILLING. NOW I AM DEAD. SOMETIMES WINGNUTS ARE CORRECT.
His Grace said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:25
WTF? Are we sure this isn’t a parody? Surely there aren’t people who would belie…
Crap.
His Grace said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:26
Fucking wordpress
tigrismus said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:27
That has GOT to be a joke; Gandy Baugh is on the Clinton list, too! Snopes:
11. Gandy Baugh - attorney for Dan Lasater in a financial misconduct case. Supposedly jumped out the window of a tall building to commit suicide.
Gandy Baugh died on 8 January 1994 at home. Although causes weren’t specified, it’s safe to assume people who jump out of tall buildings either die on the spot or in the hospital, not at home.
mikey said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:27
Ok, sure. But let’s get serious here.
If the terrorists in all their vicious guises and locales represent the greatest threat to America and our way of life ever since at least hitler, and let’s face it, he was a piker compared to teh MUS fucking LIMS, wouldn’t we want a stone cold, lifetaking widow-making killer as our commander in chief?
I mean, if he’s really the only thing that stands between us and Shari’a law, mass beheading and the boot heel of the burka, we don’t want some pansy ass peace lover, do we? No way, sucker. We want a stone, drop dead, asskicker.
Fucker around with Barack, and you’re OVER. And when Barack’s prez, fuck around with america and be ready to greet eternity, mutha fuckah…
mikey
R said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:28
How could they forget…
JOEY “JO JO” JUNIOR SHABADOO - Witnessed Obama deflower five white virgins (two of them male) and then burn an American flag as part of an initiation ritual for a Muslim secret society at Harvard. Later mysteriously eaten by a shark.
Arky - Sexual Orient Express said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:28
Who the fuck is Jackson?
Andrew said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:28
MERCEDES HUGLEY, one of Obama’s many white, female conquests while at Harvard. Filed sexual assault charges against Obama for date rape in 1990. Because “date rape” was not considered a crime like it is today, she ended up dropping the charges. Two years later, she was found dead of an apparent cocaine overdose.
Okay, so a cokehead accuses Obama of date rape… clearly the cokehead has the credibility.
His Grace said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:28
OK, trying one last time
WTF? Are we sure this ain’t a parody, ’cause I thought we hit a low with Obama-Hitler comparisons and Obama is the Anti-christ. However, Obama was in on 9/11 is, well, a new one for me.
mikey said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:29
MOTHER FUCKING wordpress…
mikey
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:29
Where’s the George Bush death list? Will it fit on my 200 gig hard drive?
Tara the antisocial social worker said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:29
My all-time favorite on the “Clinton Body Count” was the supposed “bullet hole” in Ron Brown’s head after he died in a plane crash. So, someone shot him, then crashed the plane to get rid of all the witnesses? If you’re going to crash the plane, WHAT’S THE POINT OF SHOOTING HIM ?! He can only die once.
Hoosier X said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:29
If this were a Monty Python sketch, it would be very funny.
But as something that real-life conservatives are really passing around the Internet, it’s pathetic … and even funnier.
tigrismus said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:30
Goddam Wordpress ate my post. TWICE.
From the Snopes page on the CLINTON death list: 11. Gandy Baugh - attorney for Dan Lasater in a financial misconduct case. Supposedly jumped out the window of a tall building to commit suicide.
Gandy Baugh died on 8 January 1994 at home. Although causes weren’t specified, it’s safe to assume people who jump out of tall buildings either die on the spot or in the hospital, not at home.
His Grace said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:30
Correction taken mikey.
Well, my comments are being eaten so if fifty comments show up wondering WTF is up with the Obama helped plan 9/11 meme embedded in the list, I apologize.
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:31
Where’s the George Bush death list? Will it fit on my 200 gig hard drive?
(also, what Mikey said…motherfucking WP!)
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:31
Fuck fuckity fuck-fuck-fucking Wordpress!!!111!!one!!eleventyone!!!1!!!!1!
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:31
FIX WORDPRESS I AM HAVING CONNIPTIONS
Arky - Sexual Orient Express said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:32
Since WP now hates blockquotes:
Read the one on Christopher Hargrove and answer this question:
Who the fuck is Jackson?
Thank you.
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:32
Obama ordered Wordpress to kill my last two comments. J’accuse!
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:32
Where’s the George Bush death list? Will it fit on my 200 gig hard drive? (also, why does WP print my complaints about WP and not my comments about entries)
His Grace said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:33
I’m just wondering if it is possible to be killed by both the Clintons and the Obamas?
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:34
why does Word Press print my complaints about Word Press and not my comments about entries? Do I have to say “Word Press” every time I comment?
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:35
Comments with “Word Press” in them will be posted. Others will be eaten.
empressmitzi said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:35
He also shot JFK, RFK and Martin Luther King, faked the moon landing, forced Nixon to take the US off the gold standard and went back in a time machine to help Hitler rise to power.
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:35
Word Press. Where’s the George Bush death list? Will it fit on my 200 gig hard drive?
alec said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:36
WHY IS THE S,N! SPAMBOT AFRAID OF THE TRUTH? ? ?
(I hate it when you guys do this thing. All of my comments disappear down the fucking rabbit hole for days. Drives me up the wall. Stagger this shit, would you?)
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:37
The fact is, this is almost parody. “Rib shack”? “Catfish restaurant”? “Baby daddy”? What, no one on the list was killed at KFC while having watermelon?
Are you guys sure you didn’t write this? Jeez.
Also, you all wouldn’t believe the number of people I’ve known who have died of APPARENT “natural causes”. All very suspicious.
tigrismus said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:37
I’m just wondering if it is possible to be killed by both the Clintons and the Obamas?
All my eaten posts(3 and counting) pointed out that Gandy Baugh was on the Clinton list, too, so yes!
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:38
This list is missing some names.
Greg Tuckman - Chicago area welder. Mr. Tuckman complained to municipal authorities that Barak HUSSEIN Obama had disobeyed a local ordnance by allowing his Japanese Maple’s root system to extend unto Mr. Tuckmans property. Minutes after making the complaint, Mr. Tuckman was found hanging in a local butchers window, his circulatory system having been removed.
Belinda Armstrong - age 6. Belinda attended the same preschool as Natasha Obama. According to sources, Natasha became enraged when Belinda got “first dibs” on a certain Spongebob Squarepants doll during free time. She was later found dead of a heroin overdose.
Will Lee/Harold Hooper - Actor/General store operator. A babysitter remembers a young Barak HUSSEIN Obama complaing about how Mr. Hooper was his least favorite character on the show. Days later, Will Lee had an “apparent” heart attack and Big Bird was never the same.
Aeris Gainsborough - Flower girl. She was trying to stop Sephiroth from casting Meteor yo!
Obi-wan Kenobi - Jedi Master/Desert Hermit. Vaporized during nonsensical lightsaber battle. Had ties to Reverend White.
Anyway, those are the ones I remember. I’m sure I’m forgetting a few…
Pock
WereBear said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:38
Just had to read it again, it was so good.
R said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:38
How could they forget…
JOEY “JO JO” JUNIOR SHABADOO - Witnessed Obama deflower five white virgins (two of them male) and then burn an American flag as part of his initiation into a Muslim secret society at Harvard. Later mysteriously eaten by a shark while vacationing in Indonesia, Obama’s boyhood home.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:40
I AM HAVING CONNIPTIONS
Those go good with an alfredo sauce.
Arky - Sexual Orient Express said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:40
Let’s see. So far Obama the Evile Scary Black Mooslim has accounted for two other Evile Mooslims - the FBI infomat & his classmate at the madrassa* - an icky pervosexual, various drug dealers and other alarming brown folks, assorted Demoncrats.
Won’t this make him a hero to the fReichtards?
*The Mooslim boys must murder puts rocket boosters o’ stoopid on the entire list and launches it towards Uranus. The whole point of the madrassa kerfluffle was madrassas were where future Islamofascists learned to hate America. If all of the little boys were required to commit murder you could just as easily argue Obama acted in self-defense.
Arky - Sexual Orient Express said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:41
WordPress Word Press
Let’s see. So far Obama the Evile Scary Black Mooslim has accounted for two other Evile Mooslims - the FBI infomat & his classmate at the madrassa* - an icky pervosexual, various drug dealers and other alarming brown folks, assorted Demoncrats.
Won’t this make him a hero to the fReichtards?
*The Mooslim boys must murder puts rocket boosters o’ stoopid on the entire list and launches it towards Uranus. The whole point of the madrassa kerfluffle was madrassas were where future Islamofascists learned to hate America. If all of the little boys were required to commit murder you could just as easily argue Obama acted in self-defense.
Word Press Word Press - testing Lesley’s thesis WordPress.
Anthony Cartouche said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:41
Come back Joey Jo Jo!
Mauro said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:42
WOW. This is so completely ridiculous. SO STUPID. It’s a very creepy email… It means that someone, somewhere, actually believes this crap. Sometimes I’m sad that my friends and family aren’t stupid enough to send me shit like this, because if anyone did, I would actually tell them that they are complete idiots, to their face if necessary. I would encourage each and every one of you to do the same if you receive one of these ridiculous rumor emails.
I also hear that Obama fathered a black child. TWO OF THEM. With the SAME WOMAN. Scandalous!
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:42
The fact is, this is almost parody. “Rib shack”? “Catfish restaurant”? “Baby daddy”? What, no one on the list was killed at KFC while eating watermelon?
Are you guys sure you didn’t write this? Anyway, you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve known who have died of APPARENT “natural causes” (bonus air quotes).
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:43
The fact is, this is almost parody. “Rib shack”? “Catfish restaurant”? “Baby daddy”? What, no one on the list was killed at KFC while eating watermelon?
Are you guys sure you didn’t write this? Anyway, you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve known who have died of APPARENT “natural causes” (bonus air quotes)..
robert green said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:46
HIS GRACE
perhaps my all time favorite moment–gandy baugh is on the clinton death list AND the obama death list.
while this is awesome, the association of concerned scientists, upon hearing this news, moved the nuclear war clock three minutes closer to midnight.
god you wingnuts are seriously the most stupid fucking people on earth. ever.
mikey said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:47
I wasn’t paying that much attention to what I was saying, so I can’t replicate it.
But the point was that if the threat of the MUS Fucking LIMS is the greatest threat since hitler, wouldn’t we WANT a stone cold life taking widow maker as our president?
Of course, when I first wrote it, it was kind of funny.
And it’s not like I got some kind of error or anything. Or Captcha. Or “your stupid comment is in moderation” kind of message.
Nope. Everything seemed to work fine.
But it disappeared into the grey mists of the intert00bz.
I’ll go back to [ctrl-a] [ctrl-c], and this time I’ll NEVER stop.
Wordpress just waits for you to have a little confidence. I swear, that mother used to sell used cars…
mikey
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:47
I hate, hate, hate, hate, HATE Wordpress!!!!
Doctorb said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:49
TIM RUSSERT — innocently misstated Obama’s stance on NAFTA. A few short months later, died of a supposed “heart attack”, despite only having controlled coronary artery disease and a low-stress Washington media job.
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:49
Seventeen times and I still can’t get it to display. Gary Louise Ruppert, stop gumming up the Internets right now!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:49
Würdpressssssssssssssss?
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:50
The George Bush death list won’t fit on my 200 gig hard drive.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:50
Doctorb said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:49
TIM RUSSERT — innocently misstated Obama’s stance on NAFTA. A few short months later, died of a supposed “heart attack”, despite only having controlled coronary artery disease and a low-stress Washington media job.
Plus healthy diet: bucket of buffalo wings per diem.
WereBear said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:50
ABRAHAM LINCOLN — freed black people. Shot in the head.
Gary Ruppert said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:50
The fact is, this list of murders from the Obama machine makes us in the heartland want to vote for him even less. McCain is my choice, especially if he chooses Cheney as VP, or Brownback.
ploeg said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:50
HUGH JASS - Paved Obama’s driveway. Later found “shot” by his “wife” in a “domestic dispute.”
Darth Grabass said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:51
It actually appears that some of this “death list” is lifted from the “Clinton body count” list. I looked up one name: Gandy Baugh. Baugh was listed 11th on the Clinton body count list, which claimed that he was an attorney for Dan Lasater and that he jumped from a tall building. In fact, Baugh died January 8, 1994 at home.
PS said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:52
Cool! Finally we’re going to have a mass murderer as Presnit. Oh, wait …
stogie said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:53
PAUL ROTHCHILD - Democrat National Committee Political Director found dead in a hotel room in Washington DC in 2003. A “friend and trusted advisor” to senatorial candidate Barack Obama. Dead of an apparent suicide.
What is this Democrat National Committee? I’ve never heard of such an organization…
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:53
makes us in the heartland want to vote for him even less.
Less than not.
PS said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:53
Oh, Lesley beat me to it …
Ben said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:53
Curtis “Pookie” Jackson is a cute touch. Crack dealing is such a plush, safe job as a rule.
Ben said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:53
My favorite part is unquestionably “died of apparent ‘natural causes’.” You lie-bruls and your “natural causes!”
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:54
I P FREHLEY - Died of “uremic poisoning”. Obama seen leaving seen with a tapped keg of Milwaukee’s Best.
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:54
This list is missing some victims.
Greg Tuckman - Chicago Area Welder/Neighbor. Mr. Tuckman had apparently complained to municipal authorities that Barak HUSSEIN Obama had violated a local ordnance by allowing the root system of his Japanese Maple to cross over into Mr. Tuckman’s property. Minutes after filing the complain, Mr. Tuckman was found hanging in a nearby butchers window, his circulatory system having been removed.
Belinda Armstrong - Age 6. Belinda attended the same preschool as Natasha Obama. According to sources, Natasha became enraged that Belinda was giving “first dibs” on a certain Sponge Bob Squarepants toy during free time. She was later found dead of a heroin overdose.
Harold Hooper - Grocery Store operator. A baby sitter remembers a young Barak HUSSEIN Obama complaining about how Mr. Hooper was his least favorite character on Seseme Street. Seconds later, Hooper had his “apparent” heart attack, and Big Bird was never the same.
Aeris Gainsborough - Flower girl. She was trying to stop Sephorith from casting Meteor yo!
Obi-wan “Ben” Kenobi - Jedi Master/Desert Hermit. Vaporized in a light saber duel during Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope. Had ties to Reverend White.
Benjamin “Uncle Ben” Parker - Beloved Husband and Uncle. Killed in suspicious “mugging”. Also had ties to Revered White. And the Black Panther.
We must add these names to this growing list.
People have to know.
Pock
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:54
The fact is, this is almost parody. “Rib shack”? “Catfish restaurant”? “Baby daddy”? What, no one on the list was killed at KFC while eating watermelon?
Are you guys sure you didn’t write this? Anyway, you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve known who have died of APPARENT “natural causes” (bonus air quotes)…
Doctorb said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:54
OLIVE RILEY — although she didn’t blog about American politics, it is rumored that she knew something evil about Barack Obama’s dark past. She died of apparent “natural” “’causes’” at the age of 108.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:54
Filed sexual assault charges against Obama for date rape in 1990. Because “date rape” was not considered a crime like it is today, she ended up dropping the charges.
She filed these charges herself? Shouldn’t the DA do that? I guess since it wasn’t a crime yet they must have decided it was ok.
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:54
The fact is, I give up. Wordpress won’t let me post my comment.
Gavin M. said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:54
What’s Wordpress doing? It ought to be better than its usual suckiness?
bklyn said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:55
mmmmmmm…..Rib Shack
Ben said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:55
Ooh, weird. That’s not the same “Ben” up above my comment
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:56
I just smashed my fist in my face trying to kill a fruit fly.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:56
What’s Wordpress doing?
Press submit, the page reloads and you’re at the top, no comment appears.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:58
Now I’m LOGGED IN. SUCK IT, WEBSITE!
javafascist said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:01
Oh god, the stupid, it’s too much, please just shoot me now. Oh never mind, Obama will do it. Good knowing you all.
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:01
Observations of a 5-month old provide a perfect visual of the collective rightwing:
Baby angered by exersaucer–still playing, but all pissed off and smashy. Like a teeny tiny Hulk trapped in a cage of festive plastic.
Baby throwing full-fledged tantrum over being dressed in pajamas. So angry!
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:02
The fact is, this is almost parody. “Rib shack”? “Catfish restaurant”? “Baby daddy”? What, no one on the list was killed at KFC while eating watermelon?
Are you guys sure you didn’t write this? Anyway, you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve known who have died of APPARENT “natural causes” (bonus air quotes)….
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:04
worse, when you repost it rejects you for a duplicate comment
Doctor Missus Marita said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:06
Has wordpress actually gotten worse than it was before? That’s unpossible!
Gavin M. said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:06
Hm. Is it still possible to create an account?
Tim said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:07
McCain Body Count:
http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/list.php
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:07
Is it possible to go through Wordpress’ innards with a rusty pickaxe?
Gundamhead said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:08
Wordpress can tonguejack my shitbox.
J— said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:08
EEYORE’S TAIL: Lost during a reading of Pooh by Obama to his daughters. Never recovered as Obama stopped reading to go off and whack some dudes and so never got to the part where Christopher “Socks” Robin hammers it back on.
Gary Ruppert said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:09
The fact is, the gay rights lobby is fully behind Obama, which proves he has the interests of terrorists, communists, muslims, USA haters, the lazy blacks and the hard left. What a coalition. The Heartland is not into this.
Blue Buddha said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:09
Same here… 3 comments on Gandy Baugh all gone. Fuckin’ Wordpress! >:(
Gary Ruppert said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:09
The fact is, we need to bomb Iran now.
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:10
More names to add.
Greg Tuckman - Chicago Area Welder/Neighbor. Mr. Tuckman had apparently complained to municipal authorities that Barak HUSSEIN Obama had violated a local ordnance by allowing the root system of his Japanese Maple to cross over into Mr. Tuckman’s property. Minutes after filing the complain, Mr. Tuckman was found hanging in a nearby butchers window, his circulatory system having been removed.
Belinda Armstrong - Age 6. Belinda attended the same preschool as Natasha Obama. According to sources, Natasha became enraged that Belinda was giving “first dibs” on a certain Sponge Bob Squarepants toy during free time. She was later found dead of a heroin overdose.
Harold Hooper - Grocery Store operator. A baby sitter remembers a young Barak HUSSEIN Obama complaining about how Mr. Hooper was his least favorite character on Seseme Street. Seconds later, Hooper had his “apparent” heart attack, and Big Bird was never the same.
Aeris Gainsborough - Flower girl. She was trying to stop Sephorith from casting Meteor yo!
Obi-wan “Ben” Kenobi - Jedi Master/Desert Hermit. Vaporized in a light saber duel during Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope. Had ties to Reverend White.
Benjamin “Uncle Ben” Parker - Beloved Husband and Uncle. Killed in suspicious “mugging”. Also had ties to Revered White. And the Black Panther.
We must add these names to this growing list.
People have to know.
Pock
Karin said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:10
If you shoot Ron Brown in the head, and then crash the plane to get rid of the evidence…..um, don’t you die in the plane crash too? Just sayin.
Leonard Pierce said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:11
Okay, is Barack Obama supposed to have killed this guy when he was 11 years old, or is Rev. Wright supposed to have killed him because he knew he would someday, 20 years later, be associated with someone named Barack Obama? Because either way, bad ass!
CapMidnight said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:12
I thought Obama was killed by the Clintons, only to become the secret zombie candidate who will re-institute the tax on our brains.
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:12
The fact is, this is almost parody. “Rib shack”? “Catfish restaurant”? “Baby daddy”? What, no one on the list was killed at KFC while eating watermelon?
Are you guys sure you didn’t write this? Anyway, you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve known who have died of APPARENT “natural causes” (bonus air quotes)……
Darth Grabass said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:13
I only looked up one name, and it turns out to have been lifted from the “Clinton Body Count” list. Gandy Baugh was an attorney for Dan Lasater. The Clinton list claimed that he jumped “from a tall building.” The reality is that he died at home…in 1994.
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:13
Did that work?
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:14
Did I mention that Wordpress is secretly in league with Obama?
smike said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:14
Tut, tut, kids. In case you don’t know it, Obama is very closely related to wordpress. I can’t go into it because I don’t want to be killed, and I would suggest that you vocal wordpress detractors tread softly.
And all the comments are dated July 26, on my computer.
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:15
Wordpress, you can kiss my whole ass, and then my asshole!
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:16
The Word Press death list won’t fit on my 200 gig hard drive.
WereBear said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:16
It reads like the character list of a very bad political novel.
HARVEY KENYON - Head of Obama’s senatorial security team…
BUCK HEADCHEESE - Pro wrestler who was going to run for Governor of Illinois but mysteriously “died” when a meterorite hit his toaster and his PopTarts caught fire.
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:17
This list is missing some victims.
Greg Tuckman - Chicago Area Welder/Neighbor. Mr. Tuckman had apparently complained to municipal authorities that Barak HUSSEIN Obama had violated a local ordnance by allowing the root system of his Japanese Maple to cross over into Mr. Tuckman’s property. Minutes after filing the complain, Mr. Tuckman was found hanging in a nearby butchers window, his circulatory system having been removed.
Leonard Pierce said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:18
Apparently it is. “Gandy Baugh” shows up on Clinton ‘death lists’ as having died after jumping out a tall building in 1994. Which means that Clinton had him killed, and then he came back to life, and Obama had him killed again 9 years later! Now that’s ruthless efficiency.
I lived in Chicago in 2003, and I never heard any news stories about anyone jumping out of the Hancock Tower to their death, but that just goes to show you how efficiently the press covers up for their pal Obama.
Gundamhead said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:18
Soooo, Obama is a bisexual, coke-fiend, rapist, jihadist, crimelord, evil genius, super villain who controls a massive evil organization that can arrange flawless “accidents” for anyone who annoys him, yet still remain a respectable and popular public figure. So he’s basically Lex Luthor with a bunch of “scary black man” stereotypes thrown in.
In that case I’m DEFINITELY voting for him! Unlike the current evil overlords, it seems Barack “Great General of Darkness” Obama is at least competent.
Thers said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:18
Gavin’s a goner. Obama is going to be pissed that this leaked. His agents are planting a bomb in his fridge as we speak.
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:19
More Victims.
Belinda Armstrong - Age 6. Belinda attended the same preschool as Natasha Obama. According to sources, Natasha became enraged that Belinda was giving “first dibs” on a certain Sponge Bob Squarepants toy during free time. She was later found dead of a heroin overdose.
Harold Hooper - Grocery Store operator. A baby sitter remembers a young Barak HUSSEIN Obama complaining about how Mr. Hooper was his least favorite character on Seseme Street. Seconds later, Hooper had his “apparent” heart attack, and Big Bird was never the same.
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:20
JAMES AND LILY POTTER - British wizards who were minding their own business when set upon by members of an order known as “Death Eaters”. Their leader? You guessed it - Barack Obama!
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:21
Another victim.
Belinda Armstrong - Age 6. Belinda attended the same preschool as Natasha Obama. According to sources, Natasha became enraged that Belinda was giving “first dibs” on a certain Sponge Bob Squarepants toy during free time. She was later found dead of a heroin overdose.
J— said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:23
Hm. Is it still possible to create an account?
It doesn’t look like it.
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:23
Another senseless death.
Belinda Armstrong - Age 6. Belinda attended the same preschool as Natasha Obama. According to sources, Natasha became enraged that Belinda was giving “first dibs” on a certain Sponge Bob Squarepants toy during free time. She was later found dead of a heroin overdose.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:24
Filed sexual assault charges against Obama for date rape in 1990. Because “date rape” was not considered a crime like it is today, she ended up dropping the charges.
She filed charges herself? Shouldn’t the DA be doing that? I guess since it wasn’t a crime yet they must have decided it was ok.
Gundamhead said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:24
Fucking piece of shit Wordpress! Did Geoge Bush design this thing?! It keeps saying “you’ve already posted that comment” but it isn’t showing up!
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:25
Moar Victims.
Obi-wan “Ben” Kenobi - Jedi Master/Desert Hermit. Vaporized in a light saber duel during Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope. Had ties to Reverend White.
Benjamin “Uncle Ben” Parker - Beloved Husband and Uncle. Killed in suspicious “mugging”. Also had ties to Revered White. And the Black Panther.
Aeris Gainsborough - Flower girl. She was trying to stop Sephorith from casting Meteor yo!
Gundamhead said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:26
Soooo, Obama is a bisexual, coke-fiend, rapist, jihadist, crimelord, evil genius, super villain who controls a massive evil organization that can arrange flawless “accidents” for anyone who annoys him, yet still remain a respectable and popular public figure. So he’s basically Lex Luthor with a bunch of “scary black man” stereotypes thrown in.
In that case I’m DEFINITELY voting for him! Unlike the current evil overlords, it seems Barack “Great General of Darkness” Obama is at least competent.
Wordpress
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:27
Testing…
catfish
rib shack
baby daddy
Dan said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:28
Umm, of the first 5, none seem to actually exist.
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:28
If it’s the spam filter, I have no idea what’s triggering it.
Simba B said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:28
Hm. Is it still possible to create an account?
Sadly, no.
Yes, I went there.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:29
You have 281 spam comments (281 obvious) in your Defensio quarantine.
Simba B said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:29
Hm. Is it still possible to create an account?
Sadly, no.
Yeah, I went there.
Also, Wordpress is my bitch.
Brandi said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:30
Wordpress ate my post.
Anyway, I went ahead and told snopes dot com that they should add this to their growing list of Obama rumors.
Ben said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:30
No, but we are both the son of someone’s right hand.
Simba B said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:30
I too have an account but CANNOT REMEMBER THE PASSWORD.
Wordpress needs Viagra, btw.
Pinko Punko said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:32
Yeah they must have been tag-teaming on Gandy Baugh. Nice details though. When Clinton did it it was a “high building” when Obama did it, it was definitely Chi-town.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:32
“O Sadlynaughts,” said Wordpress,
“You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But comment came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
He’d eaten every one.
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:32
Yo, Defensio, is Wile E. Coyote a spam trigger?
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:32
The sad thing is not being able to pretend to be… um… well I can’t think of anything anyway.
Jennifer said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:33
I guess the point of the list is to convince us that Barack Obama is a psychotic killer, and that if elected, he’ll kill all of us.
Like Bill Clinton did.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:33
Alas the Defensio thingie won’t let me in.
Simba B said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:34
Also account registration is disabled. If you go to the login page and replace the “wp-login” in the URL with “wp-register” it will tell you as much.
I had a smart, funny, witty, and totally original comeback in the link text in my original comment responding to Gavin indicating that unfortunately, the response to his question was negative in nature, but Wordpress apparently doesn’t appreciate good humor.
Simba B said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:34
GOD DAMMIT WORDPRESS LET ME BE FUNNY
Jennifer said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:35
Wordpress is a goat-blowing assclown.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:35
O Sadlynaughts, said Wordpress,
You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?
But comment came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
He’d eaten every one.
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:37
Wile E. Coyote was a super-genius who lived in the Mojave Desert as an eccentric inventor. He was found dead in an “accident” involving a large firework, a shotgun, a bear trap, three boulders, a cliff, a pile of birdseed and an anvil. Guess who sold him all the man-made goods to complete this task?
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:37
WORDPRESS IS A SPEECH STIFLING FASCIST
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:38
I had a great entry and Wordpress eats it like it eats Republican congressional… nevermind. The fact is, Wordpress sucks as it blows!
Goat-Blowing Assclowns the World Over said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:40
We resent that comparison. Wordpress is WAY worse!!!
mikey said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:40
You fucking guys are lucky.
I can’t even get a wordpress insult to post…
mikey
I have a gun! said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:41
Like when was the last time you were funny?
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:41
The fact is, this is almost parody. “Rib shack”? “Catfish restaurant”? “Baby daddy”? What, no one on the list was killed at KFC while eating watermelon?
Are you guys sure you didn’t write this? Anyway, you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve known who have died of APPARENT “natural causes” (bonus air quotes)
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:42
Oh damn, Viagra reference quarantined.
JGabriel said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:42
Gary Ruppert:
I was going to argue with this, pointing out that none of the people were even real, but then I saw:
… and remembered that Gary is a parody troll.
.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:43
http://www.zombo.com/
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:43
Hmm, doesn’t like links of any kind I guess…
justme said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:44
I did a spit-take at Atta in Prague, LOL’d at before ten years old, and facepalmed at the back of a limo.
I thought Atwater was dead.
Just wow.
Mrs. Jass said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:44
Hugh found Barack and me in the garage. I knew Barack carried a rod, and I went for it. Hugh meant everything to me, and I was determined to show not even a black man could best him. As I aimed and pulled the trigger, Barack leapt like an animal and twisted my wrist. Hugh took the bullet, but Barack killed two of us that day.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:45
Why is RB allowed to talk?
justme said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:46
Wordpress needs to go fuck itself in half with an ice-axe…
I did a spit-take at Atta in Prague, LOL’d at before ten years old, and facepalmed at the back of a limo.
I thought Atwater was dead.
Just wow.
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:46
Yesterday my lion Znoober died affirmatively. He took a tie to the tentacle and died some months thereafter. He was strong and black.
dim-witted badger said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:47
fucking
pelicanswordpressjim said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:47
Damn that Obama - you mean, he’s soooooo ferschlugginer EVIL he’s descended to killing people that don’t even EXIST?!?!
Gotta love how any non-violent death is due to an “alleged” cause. Yeah, those “alleged” heart-attacks (or “alleged” natural causes) are such rare & freakish ways to die, I know that’d set my radar off right away!
Brian C.B. said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:48
“It was likely done as an initiation ritual, since Islam demands that a boy spill another’s blood before the age of ten to prove their loyalty to Allah.”
Wow. I really missed out by taking al-Shahada later in life. Where was my blood ritual? The brothers at the masged are going to hear from me next Friday.
Penh said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:48
MUFASA — Heroic leader of the lions, killed by a herd of wildebeest stampeded by Barack Obama when it became clear that Mufasa would campaign against whichever scary black African relative of Obama’s was doing that weird political stuff they have over there.
JASON VOORHEES — Mysteriously “drowned” at a summer camp attended by a young Barack Obama, who as everyone knows, was required to drown a white child to earn his “Smite the Infidels” badge from the Junior Jihadis.
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:49
The fact is, this is almost parody. “Rib shack”? “Catfish restaurant”? “Baby daddy”? What, no one on the list was killed at KFC while eating watermelon?
Are you guys sure you didn’t write this? Anyway, you wouldn’t believe how many people I’ve known who have died of APPARENT “natural causes” (bonus air quotes)….
?
justme said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:51
Keeeeeeeeeel wordpress!!!!!!!!
jim said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:52
WORDPRESS - A perfectly functional paragon of utility … but only until Obama ran for the Democratic nominee for President. Died of apparent dementia.
justme said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:55
I’m wondering if they actually dug Atwater up for this, or just busted out the Ouija board and a bag of meth.
Leonard Pierce said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:56
None of them:
- LAWSHAWNA MARTIN. Also, there is no such place in Chicago as the Blue Peppermint Gentleman’s Club.
- BILL FERGUSON, who turns up nowhere on Google despite being a “senior aide” to a man running for President of the United States.
- KEYSHAWN CALWORTH. Nothing on Google except this list. (Which, I think, is probably a joke, its presence on MyRightWingDad notwithstanding.)
- SHEILA BAUGH. At least in the context of being a DC madam, as opposed to an Arkansas realtor.
- HARVEY KENYON. No Google references, despite being an Obama security boss as recently as 2005 who was allegedly murdered. How come whenever I was leaving Grant Park, I could never find these “deserted intersections”"?
- CURTIS “POOKIE” JACKSON. Doesn’t show up on a list of murdered Chicagoans from 1998, despite having a pretty common name.
- PAUL ROTHCHILD. No one by this name was ever Political Director of the Democratic National Committee.
- CHRISTOPHER HARGROVE. The only place this name occurs on Google in conjunction with Larry Sinclair is, surprise! On this list.
- REV. DAVID MANNING. The Rev. James David Manning is the head of a black megachurch in Atlanta, and is still alive. Rev. Jeremiah Wright took over the Trinity United Church of Christ (not the Trinity Baptist Church) in 1972, but it was from Reuben A. Sheares, not David Manning. Sheares was alive and healthy when Wright took over the job.
- DARSANO RAHARDJO. Nothing on Google. Also, my copy of the Q’uran doesn’t say anything about Muslim boys having to commit ritual murder to prove their loyalty to Allah, but it’s widely considered a liberal translation.
- HASAD AL-SHAREEZ. Again, nothing on Google. “Hasad” means “envy” in Arabic.
- TAMIKA HILL. “tamika”+”hill”: lots of results. “tamika”+”hill”+”murder”: 0 results.
- MERCEDES HUGLEY. For the record, date rape was a crime in 1990, too.
- BRIAN GORING. There really is a Brian Goring who’s a Chicago attorney, but he’s still alive, and no lawyer by that name worked for Tony Rezko.
- RODRIGO VILLALOPEZ. Incidentally, more than one cameraman filmed that campaign stop; why did Obama direct his wrath only at poor fictional Rodrigo?
- RUSSELL McDOUGAL. The Federal Bureau of Investigations makes public lists of all of its agents who have died in the line of duty, and none of them have been named Russell McDougal. No one by that name ever appears to have been on Savage Nation, either.
The only name on there that’s verifiable as a real person on Google is the guy who supposedly died twice, once by Clinton in 1994 and once by Obama in 2002.
Gundamhead said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:59
I’m DEFINITELY voting for him! Unlike the current evil overlords, it seems Barack “Great General of Darkness” Obama is at least competent.
Curtis "Pookie" Jackson said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:00
I’m not dead but these brave partriots are probably next on the “hit parade”.
Official Complaint Filed: Obama Lied on Bar Application
July 24, 2008 · 46 Comments
http://texasdarlin.wordpress.com/2008/07/24/official-complaint-filed-obama-lied-on-bar-application/
Hi, Mom! I’m going to Disneyland!
Joe Klein's conscience said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:02
Ben:
Isn’t Curtis Jackson the real name of a guy more commonly known as Fiddy Cent?
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:04
Anton Von Leevenhoek’s Dutiful Tomato Jelly
Ingredients:
1 okapi, ungrudgingly herbed
1 teaspoon tomato
6 jiggers nose of turk
3 pinches warm sheep brain, outragedly rinsed
1 jigger fat
4 sticks baking powder
Colorlessly grease a cookie sheet. Place the okapi into a small cup. Use a food processor to mash the nose of turk with the tomato. Drizzle resulting concoction over the okapi. Grate - very cantankerously - the sheep brain, fat, and the baking powder. Heap the latter combination on to the former. Do not bake for 28 minutes. Instead, stretch as if your tampon depended on it. Serves 10.
Curtis "Pookie" Jackson said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:04
Hey!
Curtis "Pookie" Jackson said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:05
Yo! I’m not dead!
Obaba Disbarred!
Official Complaint Filed: Obama Lied on Bar Application
July 24, 2008 · 46 Comments
justme said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:11
Better watch that name callin’ there, slim. You never know when your going to make that list yourself…
Lesley said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:11
6 jiggers nose of turk
can we get fries with that?
Eric Idle said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:14
Bring outcher deaaaad!
justme said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:15
Freeeeeeedom fries???
Scott said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:16
Dammit, people, someone take the original Obama Scary Death Black List, add all the new names to it, and start sending it out. I’d love to hear Pat Robertson ranting about Obama killing Jason Todd, Uncle Ben Parker, Kenny McCormick, Gwen Stacy, and Bambi’s Mother…
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:20
“O Sadlynaughts,” said Wordpress,
“Ýou’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?”
But comment came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
He’d eaten every one.
Pockmark Notorious said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:20
Moar Victims!
Obi-Wan “Ben” Kenobi - Jedi Master/Desert Hermit. Vaporised during a light saber duel in Star Wars Episode 4: A New Hope. Had ties to Reverend Wright.
John Brown - Sheriff. Survived by the Deputy. Had ties to the Black Panthers.
Benjamin “Uncle Ben” Parker - Beloved Husband and Philosopher. Died during an apparent “mugging”. Had ties to the Black Panther.
Clint said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:25
Another addition to the ODL. Read and fear for your loved ones:
WILE E. COYOTE - (Carnivorous Vulgaris) Supergenius found dead in the Mojave Desert of multiple “accidental” shootings, stabbings, impalements, crushings by boulders, high-altitude falls from cliffs, and explosions from a variety of munitions ranging from small firecrackers to full-armed and operational nuclear weapons. Obama is known to be an enthusiastic supporter of ACME Corporation.
Bob Loblaw said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:27
UNCLE OWEN AND AUNT BERU, a pair of dirt-farmers on the desert planet of Tatooine, mysteriously slain in what appears to be a ritualistic Muslim ransacking denying to have any information about stolen droids belonging to the Caliphate.
Blue Buddha said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:28
SHARON TATE — Brutally killed by Obama when he was a member of the Manson “family”. Being he was seven or eight at the time, it’s obvious that his involvement was part of some “rite of passage” ritual for the bizarre cult.
EnfantTerrible said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:33
Add your name to the bottom, send five copies to your friends, and in 7 weeks, you will receive 49,784,235 attempts on your life!!!
Don’t you DARE break the chain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bearshark said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:34
They forgot Thomas Alumet. Mr. Alumet was an ice cream man who ran out of Drumsticks denying, Obama’s daughter one. Four years later, died of a jellyfish sting while on vacation. COINCIDENCE???
mikey said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:34
Will wordpress let us consider the value of a stone killer ass-kicking widow-maker as president yet?
mikey
mikey said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:35
Yay!
(Slow enough for you, asshole?)
mikey
Tara the antisocial social worker said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:36
“It was likely done as an initiation ritual, since Islam demands that a boy spill another’s blood before the age of ten to prove their loyalty to Allah.”
So, how is it that there are any Muslims left?
Oh yeah - Obama’s time machine.
Does anyone remember the show “Nowhere Man?” It involved a scary secret society whose members were always killing each other because they knew too much. Not much of a recruiting tool.
monkey knife fight said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:38
If you read this list out loud, after 7 days Barack Obama appears in a mirror and calls you a schmuck!
Further proof that B Hussein Obama X is a Jew agent.
shaun said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:42
I think that this forum is wasting its considerable potential in mocking this email about Obama when it could be writing its own McCain email. I think that could be a good SN! project.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:42
Best synopsis evar.
Jennifer said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:42
This is a nice attempt, but it falls way short.
For example, they forgot to mention the time Obama shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.
Jennifer said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:43
They forgot to mention how Obama shot a man in Reno just to watch him die.
aarrgghh said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:45
THE MCCAIN CAMPAIGN - reportedly “stumbled and fell”, incurring multiple “self-inflicted” wounds during a supposed “run for the white house”. never recovered. barack obama conveniently “out of the country” at the time.
Gavin M. said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:48
Updated a tiny bit. Looks like the Eschatonians and Digbonians are coming through…
A Child's Letter to Obama said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:51
Dear Obama:
I been a good boy and been good all year you can ask mom. Please kill Billy because he told on me to the teacher.
Sincerely,
Kevin
justme said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:51
This thread has all the potential for win that the “Can We Ask” thread does.
Now if wordpress can behave…
Seriously, the RNC has open comments asking Obama questions. I expect by tomorrow to see at least two or three of these names up there.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:56
Obama is a pathetic liberal wimp who cannot keep this country safe from the terrorists and also everyone he ever doesn’t like ends up dead. The End.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:56
O Sadlynaughts, said Wordpress,
You’ve had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?’
But comment came there none–
And this was scarcely odd, because
He’d eaten every one.
GoatBoy said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:56
Why it always gotta be about goats? You’d think I couldn’t complain, but I can’t see the assclown show while I’m being, well, you know. Is it a juggling act?
GoatBoy said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:57
The kind that is sick of bombing the capitol?
GoatBoy said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:58
What the hell?
Wordpress killed my parents. Both of whom just so happen to be…Senator Hussein X!
justme said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:59
Does anybody even know of a building with openable windows on the eightieth fucking floor, anyway? Hell, the fiftieth?
Tara the antisocial social worker said,
July 26, 2008 at 6:00
Here’s a real shocker: Everyone who has ever touched, spoken with, or even heard of Barack Obama WILL EVENTUALLY DIE! It’s true!
GoatBoy said,
July 26, 2008 at 6:03
What the heck? That’s a new one. Wordpress picked up an hours-old C&P and put in place of something I typed into the box. That’s not normal, right? Then wordpress killed my parents, both of whom just happened to be…Senator Hussein X.
Now, why it gotta be about goats? You’d think, in this instance, I couldn’t complain. But I can’t see the assclown show very well while being, well, you know.
editer said,
July 26, 2008 at 6:06
I love how Gandy Baugh was on the Clinton List after killing himself by jumping out of a high window in 1994, came back to life sometime later, then killed himself again by the same method in 2003 — this time by jumping out the window of a skyscraper whose windows don’t open.