26
Dueling Shorters
Shorter Douglas MacKinnon:
- As a Republican and a conservative with a strong familiarity with the Black community, I am disappointed and offended by Barack Obama’s recent remark that Republicans will, as he claims, “try to make you afraid of him” saying that he has “a funny name,” and that we would say such a scurrilous and irresponsible thing as, “Did I mention he’s black?”
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Shorter Pam Atlas:1
- Blacky blacky blackity-black-black African ooga-booga blacky-blacky boogie-boogie me-name-Abongo funny-name woggity-blackity blacky woo-woo! Check out Mr. Blacky B. McBlackington and his black, black, dusky-hued Blackamoor blacky-blacks.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™
Bonus Pam Atlas from one day ago:
What Are You Doing Tuesday the 5th? GO WEST!
[...]
In response to Obama’s claim that Republicans will use race to stoke fear, Lt. Col Allen West,2 candidate for Congress in Florida’s 22 District issued this release:
My advice to Senator Obama is to run as a Man and Leader, and the American people will evaluate you as such, not as a victim. This is a Presidential race, based solely on a capacity to lead the United States of America. It is not about skin tone…however, perhaps we should come to expect these immature statements.
It also seems rather humorous that the Presidential candidate who was supposed to be such a “uniter” and transcend race is the one talking about it the most. If Senator Obama was confident in his abilities and character, he would not need to create a crutch for failure. Senator Obama has just tipped his hand, any criticism of him and his policies will be directly attributed to racism. I congratulate Senator Obama for taking race relations in America back some 30 years
1 Since this is a week for such things, the meaning of Pam Atlas’s civilian maiden name, ‘Pamela Geller,’ is ‘honey yell’ (from the Greek and the German, respectively).
2 J— adds: “That’s Allen West the former military officer who resigned from the Army so as to avert a court martial for assaulting an Iraqi detainee.”
Indeed it is!
Blue Buddha said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:09
Shorter Pammy?
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NGOYG-8AjeU
owlbear1 said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:12
Hey Dougie, your date is stuck in the toilet again!
Doc Washboard said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:15
In the next-to-last shot, the one of the extended family, isn’t that guy in the back row Hakeem Olajuwan? The dude standing second from the right? Is it possible that he is the source of Obama’s mad basketball skillz?
Oh, also: all those people are black. Did you notice?
javafascist said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:16
It is rather telling that Pammy thinks this photo collection is damning in some way. It appears Barack comes from a black family. Shocking.
Kevin said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:16
That Atlas woman is seriously deranged.
R. V. Dump said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:17
Looking at Pammy’s homage, One would have to presume that there are fewer Nazi sympathizers in Obama’s ancestry than in bush’s. That must have been her point.
J— said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:26
Geller has become quite the multi-media mogul. Her most recent post celebrates her recent DJing at some Phoenix radio station and also promotes some crappy-ass song called “Appeasement” by some group named Weapon of Musical Defense. This one’s gone straight to the top, with a bullet!
Zifnab said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:28
The moral of the story is vote for whitey or you’ll be forced to look at black people on your tele-visions for the next four, maybe eight, years.
MadRaven said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:31
Actually, a more apt Shorter Pammy Atlas would be:
“Look! N***er Muslims, aieeeeeee!”
not even shithouse rats are as crazy as Pammy
Jon H said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:36
” This one’s gone straight to the top, with a bullet!”
Pammy’s vibrating bullet, maybe.
Gundamhead said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:38
I for one am SHOCKED to learn that Barack Obama is BLACK and even has BLACK relatives. In Africa!!! Someone alert the McCain campaign! We get this info out to the public, Obama’s sunk!
javafascist said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:46
Shorter Right Wing Blogosphere:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=upvZdVK913I
Alan said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:47
Today, I heard Neal Boortz again remark about Obama’s phenomenal reciting skills, with regard to the Berlin speech. When I hear Boortz or Limbaugh, or any other RW pundit remark on Obama’s “reciting skills” I can’t help but think of dining in a New Orleans restaurant. The kind of restaurant where the black waiter isn’t allowed to verbally interact with the customer beyond reciting the menu. If you ask for detail about a particular item the waiter annoyingly begins reciting the menu from the beginning. Which, of course, perpetuates the myth of the dumb, southern negro.
mikey said,
July 26, 2008 at 0:51
Waitaminute, what now?
Obama’s BLACK??
Ah shit. I was gonna vote for him, too…
mikey
Principal Blackman said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:00
Her most recent post celebrates her recent DJing at some Phoenix radio station
As a DJ, I would just like to say this: Crazy Pammy is not one of us.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:00
Shortest Atlas Juggs: OMFG, he’s gonna win.
Leon Trotsky, Exile-in-Mexico said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:11
Fuck West. If you had your say, race relations would go back to 1863.
Blue Buddha said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:16
A tiger? In Africa?!
Well, it must’ve escaped from the zoo.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:18
Abandoned by his father and shipped off by his mother to his white grandparents, Barry Sotero becomes Barack Hussein Obama. Obama would describe his grandparents as ‘white folk.’ (Yeah, ‘white folk’ that would NOT abandon you, their grandchild. Shame on you Obama.)
Wow, someone has daddy issues. Was young Pam abandoned by every black male in Africa?
Oh yeah, and Obama’s family seems really cool.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:18
I am sick and tired of the damn liberals suggesting Republicans are racist, and I’ve had a lot of time to think about that since I would have gotten that job, but with racial quotas they had to give that to a minority. [White hands crumple piece of paper.] Not to mention, I done had a damn ’nuff ‘a “Hussein”.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:23
What Pam sees:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LMrdcs4ucc&feature=related
OTB said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:24
Pam Atlas: Hussy + Insane = Hussane.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:24
What Pam sees:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LMrdcs4ucc&feature=related
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:25
What Pam sees.
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:30
The fact is, if Obama wins, this site is going to have a field day for years off of the straight-jacket insanity the wingnut blogs will explode into.
They will be declaring it the End Times, the Tribulation, etc. Some may even head off to the space ship behind the comet.
christian h. said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:37
The fact is, the Mau-Mau would want B. Hussein Obama to win!!!!!11!!!! (Seriously though, is Pam the more deranged one or Debbie? It’s tough to say.)
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:37
Desperation is setting in.
J— said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:48
That’s Allen West the former military officer who resigned from the Army so as to avert a court martial for assaulting an Iraqi detainee.
Gavin M. said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:49
[Added the meanings of Pam and CYankee's names, for prophetic research.]
Righteous Bubba said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:55
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
You know, if all the Rupperts would settle on a number we could have a really wonderful troll pageant.
GeoffE said,
July 26, 2008 at 1:59
Oh oh oh, writing from Canada.
You people may not be aware of the credentials of ‘award-winning journalist Judi Mcleod’ of her site.
That’s quite the site. Makes “Renew America” sound like The American Historical Review. One little bit-the award winning journalist took seriously an Onion bit about how the Archbishop of Honduras was actually running a serious campaign to be elected the next Pope, and went into a rant about how we have to stop brownish-looking people getting any influence in Rome.
I kid you not-I did mention it to Richard Bartholomew, and he made a short posting about it. Otherwise, I’m too bored to go look it up. But do go and look at the website to see what is considered quotable in today’s wingnutoshperia.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:01
Honeyscream? Shoutsyrup?
Jennifer said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:04
I congratulate Senator Obama for taking race relations in America back some 30 years
Oh, calm down, Mary.
Gavin M. said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:04
Oh, Judi the Wingnutienne turns up at other fine publications such as Newsmax. She’s quite the cosmopolitan.
Jim said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:10
The remarkable thing is how a woman, who has gained any prominence she has in this world through writing, can be so absolutely atrocious about conveying her meaning clearly.
F’rinstance:
“Oh Shit! I thought he was married to that nice woman in the hats who makes Elisabeth Hasselbeck argue less with Joy Behar – NOW you tell me that Barack Obama is actually married to someone name Ida Odinga??”
No, of course not – it’s just Pam’s unfamiliarity with the use of a close-paren.
Or:
“OH SAVE US JESUS! Now you’re saying that Obama was an atheist raised as a Muslim, and that Barack Obama has already received a Muslim burial? Christ save us from an undead president.”
I’m just saying, applying a few grammar rules might make her sound 20% less crazy. She’d still actually be 100% crazy, though.
tb said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:26
Pam has gone absolutely apeshit.
Gary Ruppert Number Two said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:27
One little bit-the award winning journalist took seriously an Onion bit about how the Archbishop of Honduras was actually running a serious campaign to be elected the next Pope, and went into a rant about how we have to stop brownish-looking people getting any influence in Rome.
The fact is, I guess she’s never been to Rome. Neither have I, but even I know it’s loaded with swarthy Mediterranean types.
Honest Decent Conservative said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:28
If I existed, I’d be embarrassed.
mikey said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:38
Look, Gary Ruppert is an annoying little git.
But if the filthy bastard is gonna start leaving his Number Two all over the place, he’s gonna have get the hell out.
‘Cause that’s just nasty….
mikey
MajorKong said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:39
Barack’s father, Muslim, hard-drinker
Because we all know just how hard-drinking those muslims are. They rank somewhere between Southern Baptists and Mormons on the drinking scale.
MaryC said,
July 26, 2008 at 2:56
You people may not be aware of the credentials of ‘award-winning journalist Judi Mcleod’ of her site.
In case you don’t remember Judi — and I’m sure you don’t — she had a brief moment in the sun when you featured her a while ago in your “obscure wingnut” hall of fame, her claim to glory being her theory that the mob was behind 9/11. Too crazy even for Pammy, I would have thought — but apparently not.
tigrismus said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:08
Honeyscream? Shoutsyrup?
Treacle shriek?
Red said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:11
Whatever. All that and President of the United States of Love.
Red said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:12
And I’d also advise any members of the “investing class” here to buy some stock in Seagram’s now in this pre-election season.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:13
Gritamiel!
Matt T. said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:17
Man, you don’t know the Southern Baptists I know.
Arky - Sexual Orient Express said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:42
Does this thread eat the god damned comments too?
Phoenician in a time of Romans said,
July 26, 2008 at 3:44
Blacky blacky blackity-black-black African ooga-booga blacky-blacky boogie-boogie me-name-Abongo funny-name woggity-blackity blacky woo-woo! Check out Mr. Blacky B. McBlackington and his black, black, dusky-hued Blackamoor blacky-blacks.
I believe you unfairly malign Ms Atlas.
Where’s the “OMG – miscegenation!!!” element in your biased precis?
Principal Blackman said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:36
Does Pammycakes know about Obama’s debut single?
MajorKong said,
July 26, 2008 at 4:46
Man, you don’t know the Southern Baptists I know
I was once told that you have to invite two Baptists to go fishing with you. If you invite just one they’ll drink all your beer.
jim said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:04
“Shortest Atlas Juggs: OMFG, he’s gonna win.”
Sweet – if I close my eyes, I can actually see the beads of sweat popping out on their sloped foreheads. KEWL!
kc said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:24
Even shorter Douglas MacKinnon: “I was born a poor black child.”
Kanye West said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:25
Shoutsyrup?
Dwarf Fortress?
kc said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:25
Oh my God. You weren’t kidding about the shorter Atlas Jugs.
El Cid said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:54
Midgethold? Gnome’s Deep?
Strangething said,
July 26, 2008 at 5:55
Fuck.
I am not Kanye West, I just think “Shoutsyrup” is the new “Boatmurdered.”
Strangething said,
July 26, 2008 at 6:20
Pardon my obscurity. It’s the computer game that’s been dominating my free time and warping my brain.
http://www.bay12games.com/dwarves/
The game’s random name generator loves nonsensical compound words, and “syrup” is on the list. I got a guy named “Droopmuffins” a while ago.
MaryC said,
July 26, 2008 at 8:58
You people may not be aware of the credentials of ‘award-winning journalist Judi Mcleod’ of her site.
Oh, and about that “award-winning” part – were you thinking the Pulitzer, or maybe the Peabody or the DuPont?
Not quite. 25 years ago when Judi was a small-town Ontario newspaper reporter she won an award for police beat reporting, awarded by an association of about 20 small-town Ontario newspapers.
This was before Judi embarked on her illustrious career of getting fired, suing, being sued, harassing public figures, defending the likes of Rachel Marsden, plagiarising The Onion (GeoffE, you beat me to it), publishing crackpot theories and generally making a fool of herself. She doesn’t seem to have won anything since, not even her many lawsuits and official complaints.
(Lex) Twilly Spree(Azagthoth) said,
July 26, 2008 at 14:01
Shortest Atlas Juggs: OMFG, he’s gonna win.
Oh El Cid, that is the ultimate shortest.
Blue Buddha, that was hilarious that video. Especially as it is a response to a “LonelyGirl” video…..still giggling.
Athenawise said,
July 26, 2008 at 14:04
I think we should just sent Pammy a nice ham. You know, for her international efforts and vigilance and all.
a different brad said,
July 26, 2008 at 15:28
I dunno.
I think Weapons of Musical Defense might be bradrocket’s secret, and long delayed, response to the 3bulls battle rap.
It’s fucking hilarious, whatever it is. That track Appeasement is genuine comic genius.
Dan Someone said,
July 26, 2008 at 15:42
You people may not be aware of the credentials of ‘award-winning journalist Judi Mcleod’ of her site.
Well, I have it on the highest authority — a commenter at Pam’s site — that Judi McLeod is categorically “not a racist.” So there.
And yes, that means I clicked through and read the thing. It’s Saturday, so I have a couple of days to recover.
pedestrian said,
July 26, 2008 at 18:08
What Pam sees
Shorter Atlas Juggs said,
July 26, 2008 at 18:26
boilerman10 said,
July 26, 2008 at 19:17
Gavin,
It sure sounds like the wingnuts are developing a serious “Obama Derangement Syndrome.”
Piggy, Atlas Juggs, Debbie, Sean, and Laura and even KLo are munching those Cheetos as fast as they can and wow, listen to those teeth gnash!
Go Obama Go! Drive those wingers crazy!
Playing the Race Card | Blog of the Moderate Left said,
July 26, 2008 at 23:58
[...] But the GOP would never do such a heinous thing. [...]
RobW said,
July 29, 2008 at 2:42
I congratulate Senator Obama for taking race relations in America back some 30 years
Are you saying that like it’s a bad thing? That tells me you don’t know much about the era of disco and Norman Lear sitcoms.
See, for a short while there it was actually uncool to be a racist and the country was making a conscious effort to change.
mmm...lemonheads said,
July 29, 2008 at 21:54
I can’t figure out what the hell the point of any of that was. A bunch of family pictures….wait……
They’re grainy! Which opens up the possibility of a second Obama on the grassy knoll.
And they’re black.