Aug
19

Michelle Needs to Work Harder at Finding Talent




Posted at 17:08 by Brad

Oh boy. Michelle Malkin’s latest guest blogger is, to put it gently, completely untalented and sucky. Let’s take a look:

Sankchuberrymuch

By Val Prieto

Getting an email from Michelle is great because you know you’re in for some pretty major blogging action…

Raise your hand if you think this guy has the stickiest keyboard on the planet.

– she’s usually at the forefront of things and, of course, an exceptional writer – but when you get an email from her asking if you’d like to guest blog while she’s away, well, you kinda get all excited and stressed at the same time.

OK, it’s not even open to debate anymore- this dude definitely has the stickiest keyboard on the planet.

Excited and stressed that is, after you check the properties of said email to make sure it isnt someone pulling your leg or some moonbat doing what moonbats do.

Which presumably involves pulling on things that make Val get all excited and stressed at the same time.

Gavin adds: Moonbats do not prank hapless wingtards! (Lies, calumny!)

My blog, Babalú, is a modest one with a small yet faithful family of readers. It’s not even close to having the following Michelle has garnered here. I must admit that I drop in on this blog at least a dozen times a day. So, needless to say, I was a bit nervous writing for such a broad audience.

Yeah, we get it already. You were nervous and excited because someone was pulling your leg in preperation for some hot blogging action, or whatever it is that moonbats do.

I was also a bit concerned as I blog mostly about one issue and I didnt want to turn Michelle’s place into a Down with fidel! fest.

But I found I felt right at home right away and I want to thank all of you totally cool Michelle Malkin readers out there for making that happen. A special thanks to those of you who emailed me with kind words of support and solidarity. I am humbled. And to the few moonbats who saw fit to email me with the standard, off the shelf, myopic rhetoric, all I have to say is Pfffft.

The sign of a truly skilled debater is when he responds to critiques by making farting sounds.

Quite a find, Michelle. For your next guest blogger, might I suggest one Pastor Joseph Grant Swank, Jr?

57 Comments »

  1. NobodySpecial said,

    August 19, 2006 at 17:20

    I think Coach Dave would be a better fit than the good Pastor.

  2. g said,

    August 19, 2006 at 17:21

    “someone pulling your leg or some moonbat doing what moonbats do.”

    Does he not flatter himself, that moonbats would even bother with him?

  3. Brad R. said,

    August 19, 2006 at 17:29

    Does he not flatter himself, that moonbats would even bother with him?

    To be fair, I did bother with him.

  4. Svlad Jelly said,

    August 19, 2006 at 17:32

    I’m surprised there aren’t more typos, you know, with the whole typing one-handed thing. Maybe Michelle was looking over his shoulder.

    ….

    ….

    Ew. That is fucking disturbing.

  5. J— said,

    August 19, 2006 at 18:00

    Val, please be careful. She’s using you! She only asked you to come over become the right-wing kooks are all excited about Fidel’s hospital stay and she needs you. But once they lose interest in the Cuban Transition, she’ll dump you like yesterday’s fried plantains. I’m not trying to ruin what you and Michelle got going; I just want you to know what you’re getting into. The last thing I want is to see you to get hurt.

  6. mikey said,

    August 19, 2006 at 18:32

    Y’know, I’d like to respond to this Like, Totally Cool post, but I gotta go do what Moonbats do…

    mikey

  7. Some Guy said,

    August 19, 2006 at 18:36

    There needs to be a noun for a blogger leg-humping, mixed in with unconditional devotion and unquestioned loyal to Master.

  8. Ex-Fed said,

    August 19, 2006 at 19:00

    “Oooooooh, Michelle Michelle Michelle! I admire Michelle so much that this morning I kidnapped Mr. Kim at the dry cleaners and locked him in my basement, just to show solidarity! All the plants keep wilting at the shrine I made for her and the dog wets whenever he walks past it, but I’m thinking of sprucing it up by making a brown person jack-in-the-box that pops out and goes BOOOOOO I HATE YOUR FREEDOMS.”

  9. jeff-perado said,

    August 19, 2006 at 19:18

    There needs to be a noun for a blogger leg-humping, mixed in with unconditional devotion and unquestioned loyal to Master

    Malcum??

    anti-brown white-nose?? (oh, wait, that an adjective and a noun….)

    damn!

  10. jeff-perado said,

    August 19, 2006 at 19:22

    Brad,

    I don’t know, I think Malkin has found the perfect guest blogger, three parts sycophagant, one part brain damage, and just a touch of nutty goodness. Mix that in with a history of piss-poor grammar and hatred of brown people, and you have the perfect Malkin fill-in.

  11. J— said,

    August 19, 2006 at 19:25

    There needs to be a noun…

    How about blogsequiousness?

  12. shargash said,

    August 19, 2006 at 19:57

    How sad is it to be a one-note blogger, and your one note is about to expire? Of course, he is a wingnut after all. He can keep bloviating about Castro long after Castro is dead. He probably won’t even lose any readers.

  13. blogenfreude said,

    August 19, 2006 at 20:07

    He probably won’t even lose any readers.

    Yeah, both of them will probably stick with him.

  14. jamrat said,

    August 19, 2006 at 21:04

    fart jokes vs. masturbation jokes

    whoopee, a cripple fight!

  15. jeff-perado said,

    August 19, 2006 at 21:37

    Hey, when it comes to fart jokes vs. masturbation jokes, well we all know which wins hands down..

    fart jokes are for kids and South Park/conservatives, masturbation jokes are for elitists pretending to be kids

  16. Republic of Palau said,

    August 19, 2006 at 21:37

    Judging by the near hysteric urgency of his tone, I suspect his kb is more slippery than sticky.

  17. Fidel Castro said,

    August 19, 2006 at 22:05

    You talking about Cuba?

  18. word warrior said,

    August 19, 2006 at 22:48

    uh, you guys have noticed that you are just as pathetic and untalented, writing-wise, as count cockula, haven’t you?

    you’ve got nothing to say and no skill at saying it. i have to confess, i haven’t actually read the gibberish in your piece on jeff goldstein – just link to it for the pix and the evidence that the pathetic pissant mofo was widely despised in the blogosphere before i came on the scene.

    but the truth is, you are almost as pathetic and intellectually flaccid as the count himself.

    I still do not know who made up the term “count cockula.” Did Jeff choose this name for himself or did you idiots make up the name for him?

    INQUIRING MINDS WANNA KNOW, DINGBATS!!

  19. blogenfreude said,

    August 19, 2006 at 23:09

    but the truth is, you are almost as pathetic and intellectually flaccid as the count himself.

    Almost? Whew … what a relief!

  20. Dr. Omar said,

    August 19, 2006 at 23:41

    uh, you guys have noticed that you are just as pathetic and untalented, writing-wise, as count cockula, haven’t you?

    Geez, Deb, what brought on that little tantrum? Ephu, homegrrl. You should go out and look for a phuquing job, instead of goofing off on the Internets all day.

    Also, I’m guessing Jeff did not in fact devise the name “Count Cockula” for himself.

  21. mikey said,

    August 19, 2006 at 23:52

    HAH!! To be callled “pathetic and intellectually flaccid” by the well-known pathetic whackjob deb frisch. Man, I’ll sleep well tonight. Can you imagine the terror it would evoke if instead she had written:

    wow you guys R teh awesome, i cant get enuf of your phuquing humor please post more for me to read

    Gawd, I have to go wash now….

    mikey

  22. Brad R. said,

    August 20, 2006 at 0:37

    Deb- go back to threatening toddlers, please. It seems to be your specialty.

  23. Gavin M. said,

    August 20, 2006 at 0:42

    Deb, we’re kinda booked up on blog fights at the moment. Can we schedule something for like after Labor Day or something?

  24. g said,

    August 20, 2006 at 0:52

    Deb is kind of an equal-opportunity troll, that’s what I like about her. Bipartisanship psychosis.

    “but the truth is, you are almost as pathetic and intellectually flaccid as the count himself”

    Hey, wait a minute. Is this really Gary? You sly thing, you!

  25. iftthethunderdontgetya said,

    August 20, 2006 at 0:57

    Ms. Word Warrior, why do you hate words?

    P.S. Not only did Count Cockula make up the name, “Count Cockula©”, he has also trademarked “Lord of Log-Slapping®” and “Baron of Bacon-Bashingâ„¢”.

    I hope this helps.

  26. Jillian said,

    August 20, 2006 at 1:03

    Dean of Dong Dangling?

  27. Kobie said,

    August 20, 2006 at 1:04

    Deb —

    “Intellectually flaccid?” Fine, that may be true. But we’re tired, we had too much to drink and it happens to every guy sometimes.

    Go phuque yourself.

  28. Ex-Fed said,

    August 20, 2006 at 1:09

    If Deb isn’t careful, next she’s going to get herself fired from the hemp shopping-bag and beeswax-nongendered-knobbly-dildo committees of her Eugene cruelty-free Vegan shopping cooperative.

  29. TomMil said,

    August 20, 2006 at 1:53

    Uh-0h deb’s other personality is in control.

    Deb, did your carreer in psychology begin with the question, “What the ‘phuque’ is wrong with me?” Thanks to all that education, you now know you’re the only sane one.

  30. D. Sidhe said,

    August 20, 2006 at 2:31

    To be fair, I did bother with him.

    Yeah, but only after Michelle scooped him from the gutter.

    And Deb, go away. You’re making us crazy people look bad.

  31. steve_e said,

    August 20, 2006 at 3:18

    but the truth is, you are almost as pathetic and intellectually flaccid as the count himself.

    The fact is…you are no Gary!

  32. DrBB said,

    August 20, 2006 at 3:56

    God, I’m all excited and nervous posting on the illustrious Sadly, No. I mean, how often does that happen? Not often I can tell you. I feel so divinely moonbattish. Thank God for His invention of wireless Internet access. I can blog from right here in my bathroom. God! I’m blogging right now! One-handed! Blog blog blog! Blogblogblogblogblogblog… ooh oohhoo ohhhoooooooo….!

    Phew. That’s better. Best way to relieve all that tension and nervous excitement. Now… What was I going to say?

  33. Marq said,

    August 20, 2006 at 4:01

    Deb, don’t you have anything better to do–like play in traffic, get a lobotomy, or campaign for Lieberman? Really. Shove off, you ignorant, cow-like creature.

  34. Basharov said,

    August 20, 2006 at 4:11

    There needs to be a noun for a blogger leg-humping, mixed in with unconditional devotion and unquestioned loyal to Master.

    How about “The Prieto”?

  35. word warrior said,

    August 20, 2006 at 5:30

    you guys are all pathetic sissy wanna be cocksuckers like jeffy boy. how pathetic.

  36. word warrior said,

    August 20, 2006 at 5:32

    sorry for interrupting all the cockslapping you closet-case sissies enjoy – i am so sorry for interrupting all your pathetic, sissified fun.

    you guys are just as pathetic as jeff “i wanna suck my son’s cock” goldstein!

    way 2 go, losers!

  37. D. Sidhe said,

    August 20, 2006 at 5:49

    Who are you calling a closet case?

  38. freq flag said,

    August 20, 2006 at 6:40

    Getting an email from Michelle is great because you know you’re in for some pretty major blogging action…

    “I can’t wait till we blow this town and work a place with some LOCAL HOT ACTION!”
    –Eddy (Howard Kaylan of the Turtles), 200 Motels

  39. iftthethunderdontgetya said,

    August 20, 2006 at 6:41

    Comments ZERO Trackbacks ZERO

    Now what wort worrier does that wemind us of?

  40. mdhatter said,

    August 20, 2006 at 7:59

    There needs to be a noun for a blogger leg-humping, mixed in with unconditional devotion and unquestioned loyal to Master

    Psychophant?

  41. LACJ said,

    August 20, 2006 at 8:12

    I am sure this point has been raised, but I don’t believe that is really Deb. At least I hope not.

    _____________________________________
    The Crown v. Zenger

  42. mdhatter said,

    August 20, 2006 at 8:40

    “Getting an email from Michelle is great because you know you’re in for some pretty major blogging action…”

    Commissioner Malkin: Light the Bat(shit-crazy) Signal.

  43. mdhatter said,

    August 20, 2006 at 8:42

    Is being a ‘word warrior’ like being a road warrior?

  44. mdhatter said,

    August 20, 2006 at 8:47

    intellectually flaccid?

    That is fucking hillarious. You’ve got some intellectual Viagra then?

  45. D. Sidhe said,

    August 20, 2006 at 9:15

    Psychophant?

    mdhatter wins.

  46. Jillian said,

    August 20, 2006 at 10:59

    LAJC,

    That probably really IS Deb.

    If you check her blog, she seems to be in the midst of some sort of nervous breakdown. Not that she probably ever was that stable to begin with.

    I think the kindest thing to do at this point is to just avoid engaging with her at all, in the hopes that a bit of shunning will encourage her to get some fricking help.

    Then again, I can also understand why one might not wish to be overly kind to her at this point.

  47. Sira said,

    August 20, 2006 at 12:38

    Jillian is right. I had a peek at her blog and it was pretty disturbing. Some really weird over-identification with the guy who claims to have killed JonBenet Ramsey, among other things, that was actually quite scary.

  48. flawedplan said,

    August 20, 2006 at 14:35

    It is scary, and I resent coming to my favorite blog and being held captive to her shit. I’m not going to be nice, and shunning both enables and increases alienation, which is the problem. Deb, there’s nothing wrong with a lady having a meltdown on the internets, but there are more appropriate places to take it.

  49. LA Confidential Pantload said,

    August 20, 2006 at 15:16

    Didn’t Frenchie Phuque used to play for the Steelers? Or am I missing something?

  50. LACJ said,

    August 20, 2006 at 18:41

    Jillian:

    Sigh. Thanks for the feedback; I didn’t want to check out her site, frankly. Anyway I trust the Sad, No! crew to check these things out rather than allow an imposter to make her look so bad and sick, so it was just wishful thinking on my part.

    It is really quite sad, I hope she does seek help.

    _______________________________
    United States v. Moylan

  51. g said,

    August 20, 2006 at 19:06

    She’s scarey. But she probably likes reading that.

  52. Ruthie said,

    August 21, 2006 at 12:47

    Someguy said:

    “There needs to be a noun for a blogger leg-humping, mixed in with unconditional devotion and unquestioned loyal to Master.”

    “bloviabation” (bloviate + masturbation)
    “submissionary bloggorrhea” (submission + uninteresting sex + blogging at length about a topic on which the blogger knows nothing)

  53. Ruthie said,

    August 21, 2006 at 12:54

    Psychophant?

    mdhatter wins.

    “True copy” that!

  54. LittlePig said,

    August 21, 2006 at 13:59

    Getting an email from Michelle is great because you know you’re in for some pretty major fapping action…

    I corrected your typo, Val.

  55. Sinner said,

    August 22, 2006 at 14:43

    For more Frischy fun, check out Don’t Hire Deb. We sure could use some reality-based people over there to keep the balance. Deb’s behavior here shows that she is an equal opportunity troll.

  56. Val Prieto said,

    August 22, 2006 at 17:56

    This post is proof positive of just what it is, exactly, that moonbats do.

    Ya just proved my point totally.

    Now, have another cup-o-KoolAid and get those tinfoil hats adjusted. I hear Rove just added a turbo charger to his mind control ray machine.

  57. Marq said,

    August 22, 2006 at 19:34

    Oh, give us a break, Val. We have never thought any of you wingnuts are under “mind control.” You’d have to have a mind first for that to work. Your “I lose, so I win!!1!” illustrates your mental capabilities beautifully.

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