Jul
14

Glenn-Reynolds-Gets-His-Brain-Downloaded-
Into-A-Robot Watch




Posted at 17:26 by Brad

No, for your information, I will never stop finding this hilarious:

CLICKING BY THINKING: A successful brain-computer interface.

posted at 08:37 AM by Glenn Reynolds

Just imagine! Glenn could blog without ever having to exercise his fingers! No more Cheetos stains on the ol’ keyboard!

posthumanloser.jpg
“I envision a brave new world populated entirely by dorks like this guy.”

UPDATE: Christ, guys, I’m not against brain-computer interfaces. My point was to laugh at the Ole Perfesser’s not-so-hidden desire to be downloaded into a robot and blast into space. See here for context.

Gavin adds: Dammit Brad, the irony made Glennbot 0.7 Beta start malfunctioning again.

Glennbot.jpg
“Hehindeed[boink]Hehindeed[boink]Heh[blat]Heh[sproing]…”

29 Comments »

  1. Timmah420 said,

    July 14, 2006 at 17:47

    That’s nothing, here’s something even more awesome.

    That’s right, a controller for people. Beat that Bradrocket!

  2. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 14, 2006 at 17:49

    Just imagine! Glenn could blog without ever having to exercise his fingers!

    So could you if you were a quadriplegic.

    Reynolds is a dimwit, but there’s a good reason both for the technology and for an interest in the technology, whether or not Reynolds really gets those reasons.

  3. Chuckles said,

    July 14, 2006 at 17:51

    Or dorks with enormous beards and hawaiian shirts.

    Not that there is anything wrong with either, just that certain dorks look even worse with both. I particularly enjoy hawaiian shirts.

    Anyway, the real question I have for these transhumanists is this: haven’t you all seen every damn episode of Star Trek? Don’t you know that the Borg are the most dangerous enemies in the galaxy besides Q? The Borg are going to convert us all and subsume our identities!

    Plus, they have those pesky adaptive shields that reduce the effectiveness of your phasers to nil after three shots. I am not looking forward to hand to hand combat with those cyborg bastards. Hell, I am not Klingon so I can’t even come close to matching their strength.

    Man, I wish I could speak Klingon.

  4. Brad R. said,

    July 14, 2006 at 17:56

    Reynolds is a dimwit, but there’s a good reason both for the technology and for an interest in the technology, whether or not Reynolds really gets those reasons.

    No, I know. But for Glenn, it’s all about HIM. He wants that darn robot body, and he wants to blast off into space before the world gets destroyed. It isn’t about helping other people.

  5. Kathleen said,

    July 14, 2006 at 17:59

    Brad – I swear I was this close to sending you an article on that, for exactly that reason. I think I am reading SN! too much….

  6. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 14, 2006 at 18:08

    No, I know. But for Glenn, it’s all about HIM. He wants that darn robot body, and he wants to blast off into space before the world gets destroyed. It isn’t about helping other people.

    Ah. I just worry that anti-InstaCyborg means anti-cyborg, and we can’t have that. Once I get my laser-eyes you laissez-faire-on-gun-control types are going to be left in the dust. Small heaps of dust piled on a pair of empty shoes.

  7. The Fool said,

    July 14, 2006 at 18:11

    Reynolds is an asshole, but brain-computer interfaces are real and important, whatever Reynolds’ status.

  8. Brad R. said,

    July 14, 2006 at 18:12

    Ah. I just worry that anti-InstaCyborg means anti-cyborg, and we can’t have that.

    Read Glenn’s ideas about “The Comfy Chair Revolution.” He basically envisions a world where technology enables him to be a lazy shit.

  9. Brian said,

    July 14, 2006 at 19:08

    What with the Pantload in Chief looking to start a war with Iran just in time for the elections, I wouldn’t mind blasting off to another planet.

    That being said, I’d think Reynolds would want to be here to watch all that neat war stuff on Fox. With a jumbo bag of Cheetos.

  10. BillyD said,

    July 14, 2006 at 19:22

    What’s with Andrew Sullivan riding the coattails of the youtube wars?

  11. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:01

    Read Glenn’s ideas about “The Comfy Chair Revolution.� He basically envisions a world where technology enables him to be a lazy shit.

    That’s bad, right? [fiddles with universal remote, hits hotkey embedding video of the Glennbot's future] “>

  12. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:03

    Oh fuck, it worked in previews you luddite monsters.

    Our Future Lives

    Life as a set of floating arms looks peachy.

  13. Karl the Grouchy Medievalist said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:31

    Just doing some reading in posthumanist theory and goddamn if I didn’t accidentally stumble into some good critiques of transhumanism. Like that’s useful to a medievalist. But it might be useful to you: I’ve read “Are Humans Obsolete?” and “If the “Humanâ€? Is Finished, What Comes Next?: A Review Essay,” both of which are pretty straightforward, and both of which I suspect you Glenn-mockers would find good.

  14. Some Guy said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:31

    How cool would that be? You could be like… Joombi the Genie meets Kang, and have your head floating in the middle of your over-sized, nigh-invulnerable cybernetic exoskeleton.

  15. robotslave said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:31

    Yes, yes, but what about the part where the abyss stares back into you?

    I mean, doesn’t an “interface” have to have a part where the computer talks back to the user, or zaps the ocular nerve, or tweaks the hypothalamus, or whatever? You know, “output?”

    And wouldn’t the transhumanists be much more amusing easier to deal with if we had them all hooked up to a central controller high-speed network?

    Bring on the neural interfaces, I say.

  16. Henry Holland said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:35

    A few years ago, I saw a documentary about Robert Moog, of synthesizer fame. It wasn’t very good, but there was one part that was relevant to Der Perfesser.

    At the time of his death, Moog was starting to work on a way to stream audio directly in to the cerebral cortex. This, of course, would be VERY cool for music, even for Total Eclipse of the Heart, but even better for the hearing impaired.

    In the first season of the new Dr. Who SPOILER ALERT…….

    …..

    ….

    ….

    the Doctor and Rose end up on a satellite station. There, people have implants put in to their foreheads. At any signal of their choosing (a word, snapping fingers etc.), a device opened up in their foreheads that allowed a direct stream of data to enter the end; doing the signal closed it again so that it was undetecable. It looked way cool and if we humans don’t utterly destroy ourselves sometime soon, I can see it happening.

    [retreats back to SciFi nerd dark space]

  17. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:44

    Bring on the neural interfaces, I say.

    If I was making neural interfaces, I might, what the heck, go overboard and guarantee that the person who had one gracefully jammed into their skull couldn’t help but give it an excellent review, say, twice a day.

    I’d have to put an inhibitor in there to prevent choking on cornflakes or something in the course of these pre-programmed testimonials, but hey, if you piles of meat want computer viruses, I got your computer viruses.

  18. His Grace said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:45

    Well its a Friday, and the weekend’s almost here so one might figure that Instayokels response to this would be something in the order of sending the screaming wingnut hordes over here to lecture us on, um, something relating to how we hate cyborgs/America.

    Because last weekends “lectures” on humour that is appropriate as long as there is a possiblity that the subject wasn’t a minor and it was consensual was something that could only be topped by a cyborg troll.

  19. Righteous Bubba said,

    July 14, 2006 at 20:55

    Thanks to Karl for some interesting reading.

  20. David de SNAFU Principle said,

    July 14, 2006 at 22:57

    Glenn could blog without ever having to exercise his fingers!

    I was under the impression he had already acheived this milestone by steadfastly punching each blog post out letter by letter with his erect penis. Hence, the short, ever so to the point yet blindly ignorant posts with the ever so slight hint of anger tinged with a touch of alpha male hormones.

    No, wait. I have him confused with Jeff Goldtein. These righty bloggers all start to look alike after awhile.

  21. Scott C. said,

    July 14, 2006 at 23:45

    Not to be a big ole book whore, but everytime I hear about Reynolds’ transhumanist fantasies, I have an urge to point him to our piece on Colossus of New York.

    Been there, done that, Glenn. You think you’re an insufferable pile of near-sociopathic geek flesh now? Just wait’ll you’ve got mesmerizing headlights for eyes, an indestructible paper-mache body, and no penis.

  22. Kobie said,

    July 15, 2006 at 2:07

    I bow to my new brain-computer interfaced overlords.

  23. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    July 15, 2006 at 3:06

    I misread the title of this post. “Downloading brains into robot watches”? I thought. Jokes about cuckoo clocks came to mind.

  24. Gentlewoman said,

    July 15, 2006 at 3:25

    This:

    I’d have to put an inhibitor in there to prevent choking on cornflakes or something in the course of these pre-programmed testimonials, but hey, if you piles of meat want computer viruses, I got your computer viruses.

    cracked me up. Yay Bubba!

    I was actually quite interested in the article about the neural implant. Could be quite effective for lots of disabled folks. Of course, most of them won’t be able to afford it, even before the transhuman-wannabes start bidding the prices up.

    On to the future!

  25. GuinnessGuy said,

    July 15, 2006 at 6:22

    Hence, the short, ever so to the point yet blindly ignorant posts with the ever so slight hint of anger tinged with a touch of alpha male hormones.

    No, wait. I have him confused with Jeff Goldtein. These righty bloggers all start to look alike after awhile.

    As a Beta male, I find it offensive that you associate Alpha male hormones with Goldie. I could totally kick his ass.
    No, he’s beyond the scheming Gammas: he’s a Omega male… so far down the order, he thinks he’s at the top of his own hierarchy.

  26. Lookit The Happy Monkey said,

    July 15, 2006 at 6:26

    Jesus, who on earth would let Glenn Reynolds HAVE immortality in any form? He’s not wealthy enough to afford it, and he’s not powerful enough to command it, and he’s not valuable enough to society to claim his value to the future. He’s a fucking blogger, and the only way he’s going to get his metal bitz is when it’s as cheap and available as Lasik.

    The only reason to send him into outer space is in case we meet aliens who wonder how we taste, in the hopes that they decline the offer and move on by.

  27. Marq said,

    July 15, 2006 at 8:03

    Been there, done that, Glenn. You think you’re an insufferable pile of near-sociopathic geek flesh now? Just wait’ll you’ve got mesmerizing headlights for eyes, an indestructible paper-mache body, and no penis.

    Hey! Let’s transhumanize Jeff Goldmember, whether he want to be a robot or not. Think of the ensuing hilarity as he awakens in his titanium alloy body…

    JG (in cybernetic robobody): “What-th’? You-bastards! Well-you’ve-been-too-smart-by-half! I-will-destroy-you-all-with-my-new-indestructible-robot-body! But-first-I-will-slap-you-silly-with-my-cyber– — –”
    [glances down and notes omission]
    JG: “Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!1! *beedeebee*”

  28. skippy said,

    July 15, 2006 at 22:11

    so soon we will all be assimilated by the blog collective.

    resistance is futile.

  29. Progressive Gold » Blog Archive » Comment of The Day - I Blame John Wayne said,

    June 19, 2007 at 12:09

    [...] seems to have gripped many of the engineering/libertarian-verging-on-wingnut chohort, like Instapundit and his fellow Randite robotarians – is that we can fuck up this planet, but something will save us, be it cryogenics, uploading [...]

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