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Michelle Malkin’s Readers: Crazier Than Any People I’ve Ever Seen
So I foolishly decided to read some of the trackbacks to Michelle Malkin’s “Los Rangers” post (see below for analysis). As bad as Michelle is, her readers are… well, take a look for yourself…
Crazed Malkin Reader #1:GringoMan.
Post Title: “Our First Mexican President”
Inadvertently Hilarious Excerpt:
El Presidente Jorge Walker Boosh: “Okay, folks, let’s try this in (heh-heh) English. Look, I know what you’re feeling. You feel the good old USA is being invaded and occupied by a country with a government so rotten, so corrupt and so half-assed that it must dump its own people on us illegally………. Hey, the elite feel your pain. They’re not all globoloco (heh-heh) And they’re not really like the Latin elite who know that a country is easier to manage and run over when it’s nice and brown, and if the agitators get them jumping in the streets too much, the military mows ‘em down if necessary. We’re not like that, and they know it…”
Crazed Malkin Reader #2: The Cassandra Page.
Post Title: “Los Texas Rangers… Who is Assimilating Who?”
Inadvertently Hilarious Excerpt:
Major league baseball (and all professional sports) have become part of the state sponsored “bread and circuses” package that sap our national strength and distract us from taking steps necessary to save our civilization. While we cheer for professional athletes, our government continues to strangle our productivity with taxes and regulations. While we gamble on sports outcomes, play fantasy football and trade in useless memorabilia, runaway immigration continues to erode our sovereignty.
With the Rangers’ use of Cinco de Mayo symbolism, the circle becomes complete. Not only is major league baseball a distraction and a drain, but it has now joined the chorus of those attacking and eroding our foundation.
Ahem. As I’ve mentioned to my friends, I only have five pleasures in life: sex, beer, music, politics and sports. Please, please, please don’t take one of them away from me in the name of some neo-fascist fantasy. That is all.
[Gavin adds: What is best in life? To crush your enemies. To see them driven before you. And to hear the lamentations of their readership.]
Crazed Malkin Reader #3: Hillbilly White Trash.
Post Title: “Basie ball ha been berry berry good to me.”
Inadvertently Hilarious Excerpt: Nothing really funny here, but he does think that the Los Rangers uniforms mean “We just keep dancing closer and closer to the edge.”
Gavin adds: [Cue reggaetón version of 'La Cucaracha' with skittery xylophone.]
“Dance, gabachos, dance. To the music of…your doom! Ahahahaha!!!
Jeff said,
May 7, 2006 at 1:23
I believe Malkin pays insane asylums to have their residents post on her site. What a bunch of loony tunes. But not as loony as that known cadre of liberals, the billionaire owners of Major League Baseball franchises. Like George Steinbrenner.
Ritz E. Cracker said,
May 7, 2006 at 1:47
It’s true! Their invading and calling all our cities San this and San that. I’m head’in fer Alaska. They don’t like the cold air. It gives them the mumps and goiters and such.
Cargo said,
May 7, 2006 at 1:49
Gosh, I hope nobody tells these guys about the state of NEW MEXICO (OMG!!! Reconquista!)
cranky said,
May 7, 2006 at 2:01
The wingnuts are attacking both Gee-Dubya and baseball?
Holy. shit.
Who knew the immigration debate would be the issue that finally split the bizarre pro-business/religious fundie/racist alliance that has fueled the Republican party for over 3 decades.
All this time, I thought abortion would be the issue that did it.
D. Sidhe said,
May 7, 2006 at 2:17
…awestruck…
How do these people manage to make it through breakfast without drowning in their cereal bowl?
CaseyL said,
May 7, 2006 at 2:43
I want to know where those numbnuts work. About the only places I can think of, offhand, that thrive on employing the Terminally Mean & Stupid are collection agencies -
OK, I think I just answered my own question.
g said,
May 7, 2006 at 3:05
Oh. My. God. That any human being can be so stupid as to think a baseball teams Cinco de Mayo promotion erodes our national sovreignity simply astonishes me.
aka gratis said,
May 7, 2006 at 3:10
I hope they remember this outrage when they’re celebrating St. Patrick’s Day, Columbus Day, and Thanksgiving (Day). All started by immigrants, yes?
Vladi G said,
May 7, 2006 at 3:14
These people are going to go nuts on July 29 when the Brewers change their uniforms to celebrate Cerveceros Day! Even worse, the public address anouncer will make the anouncements …*shudder*… bilingually!!
For Cerveceros Day, the Brewers will again wear alternate uniforms for their game against the Cincinnati Reds, and they plan to transform Miller Park with bilingual public address announcements, Latin-themed music and videos featuring some of the game’s great Hispanic players.
It would be pretty sweet to get one of those jerseys, though.
His Grace said,
May 7, 2006 at 3:18
With the Rangers’ use of Cinco de Mayo symbolism, the circle becomes complete.
WTF does this dreck even mean? Somehow the fact that a Texas team (a place that has no large hispanic population) celebrates a popular Mexican Holiday is some sort of proof that there’s a clash of civilizations (Mexolamofacists?)…
The scary thing is that compared to this, Malkin almost seems sane.
Does Malkin ever check her trackbacks to see the consequences of what she’s doing?
Jeff said,
May 7, 2006 at 3:28
THIS DATE IN SPORTS
OCT. 23, 1929: The Chicago White Sox announce plans to open the 1930 season with “A Salute To Stockbrokers,” featuring pictures of famous captains of industry on the team’s uniforms. The stock market collapses the next day, kicking off the Great Depression.
DEC. 6, 1941: The NHL’s Boston Bruins hold “Hirohito Day,” with Japanese-themed concessions and free chopsticks to the first 10,000 fans. The next day, the Japanese bomb Pearl Harbor.
NOV. 21, 1963: The Dallas Cowboys’ halftime show, “Cuba: Our Neigbor To The Southeast, in the Water Somewhere,” featuring cigar and inner-tube giveaways, is a runaway success. The next day, Castro and Mafia operative Lee Harvey Oswald assassinates President Kennedy just miles away from the stadium.
MARCH 29, 1981: Just days before Opening Day, the Baltimore Orioles declare the opener “John Hinckley Day,” wherein anyone with the first name John, the last name Hinckley or an unhealthy obsession with Jodie Foster gets in free. The next day, a man named John Hinckley with a Jodie Foster fixation shoots President Reagan.
Remember this when the Mexislamofascists take over Arlington, Texas!
tigrismus said,
May 7, 2006 at 3:35
All these folks bitching about immigrants, I have to say I’m surprised Malkin’s popular on the res.
Laser Potato said,
May 7, 2006 at 3:56
Why do the wingnuts conveniently forget that most Mexicans are Catholic?
Anonymous said,
May 7, 2006 at 4:10
It’s about fucking time we had a Conan the Barbarian reference in Left Blogistan. Nicely done!
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
May 7, 2006 at 5:22
Major league baseball (and all professional sports) have become part of the state sponsored “bread and circuses” package that sap our national strength and distract us from taking steps necessary to save our civilization.
Well, I, uh… I… I… first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love. Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue… a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I… I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh… women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh… I do not avoid women, Mandrake. But I… I do deny them my essence.
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
May 7, 2006 at 5:24
Why do the wingnuts conveniently forget that most Mexicans are Catholic?
They don’t. If you’ve ever looked at your hardcore wingnut, they want to get rid of all the Catholics right after all the Jews.
Timmah420 said,
May 7, 2006 at 6:05
The wingnuts are attacking both Gee-Dubya and baseball?
Holy. shit.
No kidding eh? What’s next Mom and apple pie?
Out of the way ma’ you skag, that pie was terrible!
Hysterical Woman said,
May 7, 2006 at 6:36
Since when does the government fund Major League Baseball? If you’re too distracted watching steroid-popping millionaries spit to worry about the injustice of paying taxes, it’s your own damn fault.
g said,
May 7, 2006 at 7:04
Since when does baseball have anything to do with people of Spanish and Latin American heritage?????
Venicemenace said,
May 7, 2006 at 8:13
That Strangelove quote was friggin’ genius.
The Constructivist said,
May 7, 2006 at 10:48
Please don’t let Malkin know that the person on top of the LPGA’s money list right now is both pro-immigration and not an American. Reconquista is already happening on our nation’s golf courses!
Laser Potato said,
May 7, 2006 at 18:25
“They don’t. If you’ve ever looked at your hardcore wingnut, they want to get rid of all the Catholics right after all the Jews.”
Oh yeah, forgot. To these people, Catholics aren’t REALLY Christians.
g said,
May 7, 2006 at 23:53
Oh, hell. To our own dear annieangel Catholics aren’t really Christian.
Andrew A. Gill, SLS said,
May 8, 2006 at 1:06
Shorter The Cassandra Page: BASEBALL IS THE OPIATE OF THE MASSES!
Laser Potato said,
May 8, 2006 at 16:24
Geez, what IS accepable to Annie? Baptism? Quakerism? Episcopalians? Lutheran? Pentecostalism? Presbyterian? Methodism? Those snake-handling sects in the Appalachians?