Apr
23

Keeping Up With The Krauthammers




Posted at 8:58 by HTML Mencken

When we last checked in on Patrick Bateman (a.k.a. Stephen Green, a.k.a. Vodkapundit — a.k.a. the Colorado Bowtie), we discovered that his envy was in full bloom. Jealous of Glenn Reynolds’s spiffy pro-genocide argument, Vodkapundit got one like it, but bigger and better.

Well, that was then and this is now! Dr. Kraphammer has a new, even spiffier wingnut toy, and he’s been showing off:

Meanwhile, in recent weeks a lot of generals have put forward the idea that America’s current military policies are serving the country poorly. Uber-hawk columnist Charles Krauthammer accuses them of laying the groundwork for a coup d’état and/or opening the United States to foreign subversion in the course of comparing George W. Bush to Abraham Lincoln.

mildreddunnock.jpg
Vodkapundit as Tommy Udo: “I’m askin’ ya, Krauthammer,
where’d'ja get that toy?” [weird laugh]

Vodkapundit, so conforming yet so competitive, just had to go out and get one like it — but, naturally, bigger and better.

…Bigger and better in the sense that it’s just as rancid and dishonest as Krauthammer’s, but unencumbered by irony and subtlety. Wingnuts worship force: Whatever their feelings on interventionism (and their feelings react to the prevailing political breeze like a jongling Wal-Mart wind chime), they’ve been “blood & guts” folks since their emergence in the Truman era. And Krauthammer knows this, hence his relative playfulness in hinting that it’s the Left that wants a coup d’etat. Patrick Bateman also worships force, but irony confounds him such that he’s unable to see himself, or his actions, in a larger context. For Bateman, as with Vodkapundit, the recruiting station would be a decidedly louche option — yet calls of “chickenhawk” would take an unacceptable psychological toll, so:

First, the Left used the “chickenhawk” argument to claim that only active-duty soldiers could venture any opinions on war. Now the Left is filled with glee because we have a clique of generals dissing their elected civilian commander-in-chief.

It’s enough to make you ask if the Left is preparing this country for a military dictatorship.


There it is. Bigger, better, with more power, very direct — and, plus, he got to vent on the meanies who called him a chickenhawk.

Bonus wingnut-bashing: I can’t fix the internet as well as Gavin, but a different Patrick Bateman post provides me with an opportunity to help, even in a small way, the cause.

Broken:

First Person Reporting, Pt VI
Posted by Stephen Green · 21 April 2006 · Permalink

In his final installment of “Back to Iraq,” Michael Totten has to smuggle himself out of the country.
Comments (1) · TrackBack (0)

Fixed:

First Person Reporting, Pt VI
Posted by Stephen Green · 21 April 2006 · Permalink

In his final installment of “Back to Iraq,” Michael Totten has to smug himself out of the country.
Comments (1) · TrackBack (0)

41 Comments »

  1. Anonymous said,

    April 23, 2006 at 10:13

    Well, Retardeau, the deeper you go, the higher you fly.

    The higher you fly, the deeper you go,

    so, come on.

    Vodkapundit might just be the Walrus…

  2. merlallen said,

    April 23, 2006 at 10:21

    I have 12 fucking cats. And a crazy cat collecting wife.
    So, fuck you.
    I feel much better now, thank you.

  3. Pinko Punko said,

    April 23, 2006 at 10:42

    The Chameleons cover of that song is also awesome, and might work for Vodka-bag, although I don;t know if V-bag can change his spots.

  4. Kathleen said,

    April 23, 2006 at 10:55

    Can I declare a fatwa on the use of “dis” or “dissing”? It is so awkward. I mean my freaking Mom uses dis, FFS. His “coolhunter” attempt there is so painful. It is almost as bad as if he threw a “Not!” in there.

    please, think of the children.

  5. Ianua Ditis said,

    April 23, 2006 at 11:29

    Hmmm. Sadly, No! appears to be shunning me, because first it erased my info after I told it to remember it, and now it’s posting my comments as anonymous.

    I can’t have my bons mots going unrecognized, so I hope this works.

    Also, does Pinko Punko ever sleep?

  6. D. Sidhe said,

    April 23, 2006 at 12:09

    It’s enough to make you ask if the Left is preparing this country for a military dictatorship

    Good Lord. Someone check Chuck’s bathtub for the bloated corpse of Irony.

  7. Marq said,

    April 23, 2006 at 12:21

    OT, I tried that insult generator Jillian mentioned in one of the other threads. I tries it using Brad’s (full) name, ;-) What I got back was:
    “Zebra bastard zebra zebra zebra zebra fucker Paraplegickicker”
    Wow! It’s like it knows him or something!
    Oh, yeah–I tried it on my real name, too, and got back:
    “Mankdick Semenspit.”
    Like I said….

  8. TheDeadlyShoe said,

    April 23, 2006 at 13:05

    Wow. Marq! You must link this generator, that was linked!

    Also, it is quite clear that Bateman doesn’t even understand how he’s being insulted!

  9. Worst. President. Ever. said,

    April 23, 2006 at 15:33

    First, the Right used the “traitor” argument to claim that only pompom wavers could venture any opinions on the war.

    Now the Right is filled with gloom and despair because even generals are publicly saying that the war is totally idiotic.

    It’s enough to make you ask if the Right is preparing this country for an even more shocking, awesome war.

  10. Jillian said,

    April 23, 2006 at 15:58

    Haha, Marq!
    It’s creepy, isn’t it? It’s like it knows you! I still can’t get over that my insult was just “Republican”, especially after seeing the fancy ones y’all got.

    You can try it here.

    I think the administration would just looove to spring another war on us, but I’m beginning to allow myself to hope that the constant public humiliation they’re enduring over being outed as a bunch of liars and creepy peeping Toms with no regard for the Constitution might just put a crimp in their plans. It’s hard to drum up support for military action when the whole country thinks you’re a moron.

    Here’s hoping.

  11. nobody said,

    April 23, 2006 at 16:02

    What is it with these clowns? Always typing from the same dumb script:

    First, the Left used the “chickenhawk” argument to claim that only active-duty soldiers could venture any opinions on war.

    No, actually the “`chickenhawk’ argument” was used to expose cowardice and hypocrisy. Of course any nitwit is absolutely entitled to “venture” opinions on war, but some are automatically not credible.

  12. Gary Ruppert said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:24

    If you want to keep up with someone, keep up with the Mad Head of the Democrat Party, Chairman Dean. Screaming Howard has promised to exploit Hurricane Katrina in order to try and win office in 2006.

    Of course, he’ll ignore the fact that Katrina’s tragedy is due to two Democrats, Blanco and Nagin.

    And when it comes to Howard the Short, the Democrat Party is still lacking funds, so they’ll have to call in more free advertising from their friends in the media.

    And when it comes to the “Chickenhawk” thing, it’s an obvious logical fallacy, an argument to the man.

  13. Capt. Trollypants said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:27

    That is so true. I’m just going t preemptively give Gary 500 megadittoes in advance. This way he doesn’t even have to say anything.

  14. BenA said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:33

    God I hope you haven’t scared off AnnieAngel. This site has lost so many fine trolls over the years, and it would be a shame if we were left having to settle for the likes of Gary.

    C’mon, GR…you’ve been at this a while. Surely you can do better than that!

  15. GTR said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:43

    Jillian,

    Mine was Greentits Republican.

    I think I like it.

  16. GTR said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:43

    Trying again….

    Mine was Greentits Republican

  17. shingles said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:44

    It’s enough to make you ask if the Left is preparing this country for a military dictatorship.

    I thought the Left was anti-military…clearly it was all a ruse. Devious, non?

  18. GTR said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:46

    Jillian,

    Mine was Greentits Republican. I think I like it.

  19. GTR said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:50

    Gary,

    You know I love you, but honestly, where is the Republican lead Congress helping the Gulf region now? And why did Cheney use the Hurricane Katrina Tax Relief to get an (over) $1.9 mil dollars tax refund? hmmm?

    They should use that in the next election.

  20. Gary Ruppert said,

    April 23, 2006 at 17:52

    The Republican Congress has worked hard to pass a lot of things to help the gulf coast.

    And you’re seriously objecting to Cheney donating to charity?

    You leftists think the only charity should come from the Government

  21. mikey said,

    April 23, 2006 at 18:02

    Screaming Howard has promised to exploit Hurricane Katrina in order to try and win office in 2006.

    Geez, that’s just awful. The only thing I can think of that might even be worse is if they, oh, I dunno, were to say EXPLOIT 9/11 to start an unnecessary WAR! Yeah, that would truly be bad.

    Personally, I’m grateful to gary for exposing each and EVERY Democrat for the evil, murderous, anti-american, peace-loving, terrorist-appeasing criminals they are. I honestly had no idea that it ran so deep and wide.

    My goodness, I guess we’re just lucky to have those brave, honest Republican Americans protecting all that America stands for.

    mikey

  22. Not Gary said,

    April 23, 2006 at 18:07

    The Republican Congress has NOT worked hard to pass a lot of things to help the gulf coast.

    And you’re seriously NOT objecting to Cheney donating to charity?

    You leftists do NOT think the only charity should come from the Government.

  23. Gentlewoman Geekpockets said,

    April 23, 2006 at 18:21

    *waves at Gary* How are the delusions coming along, bud? Thanks, Retardo, for reading this stuff so we don’t have to.

    Cheers,

    GW

    PS My name in the insult generator is ‘Odious and unpleasant child Geekpockets’ I think I’ll keep it

  24. Marita said,

    April 23, 2006 at 18:29

    Hmmm… my insult name is “Wombatrapist Penisbreath”.

    I did have a banana for breakfast, come to think of it.

    Anyone with a sensibility for these things want to let me know how wombats rate on the cute scale?

  25. g said,

    April 23, 2006 at 19:00

    Hey! I’m “Hummingbirdwhacker!”

  26. Worst. President. Ever. said,

    April 23, 2006 at 19:13

    Mine came back: “Moron teenage frog-exploder; Gary Ruppert”.

  27. Dorothy said,

    April 23, 2006 at 20:01

    First, the Left used the “chickenhawk” argument to claim that only active-duty soldiers could venture any opinions on war

    Um…Sadly, No!

    A “chicken-hawk” is someone who claims that the current war under discussion is the Most Important Endeavor EVER! and Everyone Should Do Everything They Can to support it! and If We Pull Our Troops Out We’re All Going to DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!
    In other words, a total, 100% commited, Iraq War Hawk.

    And yet, when asked why he won’t enlist in the armed forces to support The Most Important Endeavor EVER!, this same someone stammers, hems, haws, and offers weak excuses. This leads observers to conclude that he is afraid…or “chicken”.

    So he’s a “hawk” who’s too “chicken” to enlist…get it? “chicken” + “hawk” = “chickenhawk”. See? It makes perfect sense.

    (Is that clear enough for Gary? Cause I can’t make it any more plain than that.)

  28. Mal de mer said,

    April 23, 2006 at 20:13

    Well, that’s the thing with liars You explain something factually and truthfully to them and they retort “No, it’s not!”

    Re-education camps, I say. Intern the stupid and the dishonest.

  29. Jillian said,

    April 23, 2006 at 20:21

    It’s good to have people like that around, though.

    Human beings are the product of millions of years of evolution, and as nice as it might be to think otherwise, logic and rationality didn’t really have a lot of survival value, historically speaking. Fucking anything that moved and getting your hate on anytime unusual things happened were far more useful behaviors than, say, distinguishing between modus ponens and modus tolens arguments.

    So, what it comes down to is that thinking clearly is not at all “human nature”, and actually requires a good bit of work and effort. Without putting that effort in, it’s easier than you might think to say things like Gary Ruppert says. Or even Adam Yoshida.

    Having folks like these around who say dumbass things like this serves as what medieval monks used to call a memento mori, only it’s not a reminder that you, too, are mortal – it’s a reminder that you, too, are a muddy thinker…and you’d better work damn hard not to give into that if you don’t want to become a running joke on the internet.

    What should we call it? A memento idioti?

  30. Gavin M. said,

    April 23, 2006 at 20:31

    Jillian, if they only believed in evolution…

    A memento marie? I’m just thinking out loud here.

  31. Matt T. said,

    April 23, 2006 at 20:35

    It’s enough to make you ask if the Left is preparing this country for a military dictatorship.

    Jesus, I thought we were trying to prepare the country for an Islamofacist dictatorship, and then it was an Illegal Immigrant dictatorship. I can’t keep up anymore.

    So, if we find a retired general who’s also an illegal immigrant and a Muslim, we’ll be all set.

  32. Jillian said,

    April 23, 2006 at 20:42

    That’s beautiful, Gavin….and fitting, in that it pays proper tribute to one of the S,N! patron saints!

    I think she’d be pleased, as well.

    Okay, probably not.

  33. g said,

    April 23, 2006 at 20:42

    An Aztlanomuslimfeminazi reitred gay Brigadier General.

  34. Matt T. said,

    April 23, 2006 at 20:44

    An Aztlanomuslimfeminazi reitred gay Brigadier General.

    Who “believes in evolution”.

  35. PantherWill said,

    April 23, 2006 at 21:19

    So does this mean the wingnuts support the troops by not supporting the troops?

    Oh yeah, and I was at Keesler AFB when Katrina hit and I can honestly say that FEMA’s response was a complete fucking joke all the way around, at least up until Trent Lott’s porch needed fixing.

  36. Mark said,

    April 23, 2006 at 22:35

    It’s enough to make you ask if the Left is preparing this country for a military dictatorship

    Christ Almighty, that is one of the stupidest things I’ve read in a while (and I did read the post about Adam Yoshida). I thought the Left was supposed to hate the military, but maybe it wants to live under a military dictatorship? Huh?

    And, thanks, Dorothy, for demolishing the part that the Left thinks “only active-duty soldiers could venture any opinions on war.” These guys are so pathetic.

  37. macy said,

    April 23, 2006 at 22:49

    Anyone catch saturday night live last night? (Repeat)
    Bush speech lines:
    “Yeah, I know after the hurricane you remember me coming out and saying I had no idea how bad things were going to get, no idea the levees would be breached.
    Then you saw the video this week, where michael brown and a bunch of scientists were telling me the huricane would be really bad and the levees would be breached.
    But you probably ALSO remember me telling Brownie he was doing a heck of a job.
    Yeah, a lot of jokes came out of that one.
    But now you have the video that shows Brownie WAS doing a heck of a job warning me and I just didn’t listen.
    So who’s the joke on now? Heh?”

  38. macy said,

    April 23, 2006 at 22:49

    Anyone catch saturday night live last night? (Repeat)
    Bush speech lines:
    “Yeah, I know after the hurricane you remember me coming out and saying I had no idea how bad things were going to get, no idea the levees would be breached.
    Then you saw the video this week, where michael brown and a bunch of scientists were telling me the huricane would be really bad and the levees would be breached.
    But you probably ALSO remember me telling Brownie he was doing a heck of a job.
    Yeah, a lot of jokes came out of that one.
    But now you have the video that shows Brownie WAS doing a heck of a job warning me and I just didn’t listen.
    So who’s the joke on now? Heh?”

  39. jeff-perado said,

    April 24, 2006 at 2:47

    I am now Jesusfreak Cuntbucket..

    I don’t know, I think being called jesusfreak is just a little too insulting to me (but cuntbucket is definately A.O.K.!!!)

  40. Major Woody said,

    April 24, 2006 at 6:38

    Sure, we all know that you on the left have been preparing us for a coup to establish a military dictatorship for some time. But what you don’t know yet is that we on the right have been laying the groundwork for a Marxist-Leninist counter-revolution! Yes, all this time, the Republican party has been the secret vanguard of the glorious proletariat! How’s that for an ironic twist? Bwah ha ha, bwah ha ha, bwah ha ha ha ha ha!

  41. Stewart Dean said,

    April 24, 2006 at 14:26

    The historical coup that immediately came to mind for me was Haig’s movement to prevent Nixon from using the military to seize control when his presidency was unraveling.

    We need just such a anti-coup to make sure that Bush goes down……..

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