Apparently bored of reviewing movies she hasn’t seen, Debbie Schlussel explains:
A lot of straight people, who far outnumber gays, don’t exactly want to drive a “gay car.” Remember the gay-specific marketing of the Subaru, using Martina Navratilova as its spokesman? No straight human wanted to drive a Lesbaru.
Yes. Ha ha, that’s a good one. But that’s also the whole reason why most modern cars are equipped with these:
People think they’re to meter oxygen in the exhaust, but they’re not — they detect molecules of Gay coming from the passenger cabin, and transmit a radio signal back to Corporate HQ, cancelling the lease program. Otherwise you’d have this sort of thing going on all across America:
A typical gay man attempting to shop at a suburban Wal-Mart.
America is not ready for a gay automotive onslaught. As liberals, we hope that someday homosexuals will prove themselves responsible enough to own cars, but until that day, we must side with Debbie Schlussel:
Ford will have to take a stand and decide whether or not it will advertise in gay media–and accept the consequences of its decision. It cannot have it both ways.
Because after all, isn’t ‘having it both ways’ the gateway to the homosexual lifestyle? We’re frankly tired of homosexuals trying to cram their beliefs down our throats. They could at least give us a courtesy tap once in awhile.
Subaru of America, Inc. (SOA), a pioneer of crossover all-wheel drive vehicles designed for the active lifestyle, announced today its best total sales result on record, posting a year-end total of 185,944 units. [...] The final 2001 tally represents an 8% increase from 2000 totals for the comparable period.
2002 showed a 3% decrease, but was nevertheless Subaru’s third best year ever. 2003? Best ever. 2005? Third consecutive year of growth. Which leaves the 2002 recession year as the only non-growth year in the last 5 years. Damn you, lesbians, damn you!]
[Gavin adds: See Car Talk for the Ultimate Gay and Lesbian Cars.]