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More Child-Rearing Tips from Dr. Dobson (Now with Added Beatings!)
Focus on the Family’s James Dobson gives us advice on raising teens:
When I was a kid, it was easier for parents to keep their children in line. They didn?t have to depend as much on closeness and communication. Parents could control and protect their kids, more or less, by the imposition of rules and the isolation of their circumstances. Farmer John could take his sassy son out to the back forty acres and get his mind straight. Just the threat of that happening was enough to keep most teens from going off the deep end.
“But then the elitist liberals came along and said that beating your children with shovels wasn’t ‘politically correct’ anymore!”
In those days, parental authority typically stood like a great shield against the evils in what was called ?the world.?
See, back in the old days, parents could use fear to shield their children from reality. Sounds like a great time to be alive.
Anything perceived as unwholesome or immoral was kept outside the white picket fence simply by willing it to stay put.
Funny how it’s always a white picket fence that keeps away the undesirables, isn’t it?
Considering how the world has changed, it is doubly important to build relationships with our kids and work through conflicts. You can no longer get them past the predators in the wider world by simply relying on rules. It still makes sense to prohibit harmful or immoral behavior, but those prohibitions must be supplemented by an emotional closeness that makes children want to do what is right.
See, you can no longer scare your children into behaving morally, you have to actually explain to them why certain actions are right or wrong.
I like the old way better, personally. Sounds like a lot less work.
They must know that you love them unconditionally and that everything you require of them is for their own good. Building relationships with children does not require large amounts of money. Author and professor Dr. Howard Hendricks once asked his grown children what they remembered most fondly from their childhood. Was it the vacations they took or the trips to theme parks or the zoo? ?No,? they answered. It was when Dad got on the floor and wrestled with his son.
Hey, getting pinned to the floor by a domineering father beats a trip to the zoo any day…
norbizness said,
September 23, 2005 at 18:47
The beatings will continue until the country’s godliness improves!
spunky said,
September 23, 2005 at 18:54
What fond memories that brings back. Beatings in the back yard and getting locked in church for hours on end to ensure I didn’t “burn in hell.”
Lifer said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:05
I loved the beatings because then I knew Mommy and Daddy loved me. They got tired fo hitting me all the time and decided to control me by sitting on me. That allowed them to both control and protect me through my troublesome teen years.
After, I graduated they threw me out of the house. I got a big ass gun and blew them the fuck up.
But I fondly recall the beatings…
Sharon Needles said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:20
“Anything perceived as unwholesome or immoral was kept outside the white picket fence simply by willing it to stay put.”
Sounds like a certain occupant of the Oval Office I could mention…
“It was when Dad got on the floor and wrestled with his son.”
Especially when Dad did that in conjunction with the “take-junior-into-the-shower-and-show-him-your-fuckstick” method of child-rearing. Take that, Dr. Spock!
Pinko Punko said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:21
Atrioni has an awesome post up about buses and Katrina, I think you might need to release the kittens, although it seems more of an homage.
BruceH said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:33
Well, y’all, wish me luck. I’m going to take shelter from Rita now. I’m in the Heights in Houston and I’ll be staying in a very strong building, so I should be alright. I think I’ve prepared enough. I’ve got about a hundred gallons of fresh water stashed in various places, and tools and emergency supplies.
I’ll be offline until at least Sunday, probably later.
So long until…
Bruce
GregH said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:35
Good luck to you Bruce and everyone in Rita’s path!
mdh?tter said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:49
time to get out the tee pee
or does the A get a pass??
mdh?tter said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:50
OnTopic:
“white” and “picket” and “fence” have never meant so many things all at once before.
tg said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:53
Anything perceived as unwholesome or immoral was kept outside the white picket fence simply by willing it to stay put.
Presumably, if you could will anything unwholesome and immoral to stay put, you could just as easily will her to, oh, say, sidle up beside you and buy you a drink. Damn this demanding day and age where you actually have to have emotional closeness with your kids!
tg said,
September 23, 2005 at 19:56
I hope that doesn’t read like the unwholesome and immoral thing I want sidling up to me is also my kid. Sadly, it does.
Michael said,
September 23, 2005 at 20:24
Anything perceived as unwholesome or immoral was kept outside the white picket fence simply by willing it to stay put.
Yes, it’s good, it’s very, very good when negroes and sodomites are wished into the cornfield.
mdh?tter said,
September 23, 2005 at 20:38
I read that as “the white picket fece” stays put.
the unwholsome things cannot breach a “white” “picket” “fence”.
something very creepy about that sentiment.
very very control freakish.
I see “rebellious teen pregnacy” in his future.
Timmah420 said,
September 23, 2005 at 21:03
It was just so much easier when we didn’t have child abuse laws…
The tECHIDNA said,
September 23, 2005 at 21:06
Farmer John could take his sassy son out to the back forty acres and get his mind straight.
It was when Dad got on the floor and wrestled with his son.
Considering this is SpongeDob we’re talking about, is anybody about as freaked out as I am about the perceived imagery with this?
Especially since that last “his” in the first example isn’t exactly clarified there?
Pulchritude Shunt Gurdon said,
September 23, 2005 at 21:25
tECHIDNA:
>>Farmer John could take his sassy son out to the back forty acres and get his mind straight.
>Considering this is SpongeDob we’re talking about, is anybody about as freaked out as I am about the perceived imagery with this?
Hear, hear. I’ve read gay pulp porn that starts with similar sentences…
BruceH: Good luck and take care!
yagi said,
September 23, 2005 at 21:46
Did Dobson spend a lot of time shucking corn with his dad in the back forty?
dj said,
September 23, 2005 at 21:48
wow, do he actualy use the term “his sassy son”.
sassy is not a term i would use to describe
adolecent behavior. Its more of a term i would use to describe Rue Paul (god i cant spell for shit).
dj
jeff-perado said,
September 23, 2005 at 22:03
BruceH,
Not to worry, we’re all here praying to the Flying Spaghetti Monster, that he will keep you safe by protecting you with his noodly appendages…
“…set his mind straight.”
So is that what the kids are calling it these days??
ba-da-bump!
Seriously, so now Dobson is fondly recalling the good ol’ days when kids could be beaten senseless. What ever happened to his cure-all for misbehavin’ kids — baking dogshit into brownies and serving them to his kids?
Rowan Berkeley said,
September 23, 2005 at 22:41
In ‘Forbidden Planet’ they tried to keep the Monster From The Id outside the white picket fence, so to say, and look where it got them - “You can’t defeat your own unconscious mind, Doc”
mrgumby2u said,
September 23, 2005 at 23:11
“Farmer John could take his sassy son out to the back forty acres and get his mind straight.”
What the hell? Was Dobson raised by this guy?
mdh?tter said,
September 23, 2005 at 23:11
Inside the fence is my perfect zone. My control zone.
my lawn, my picket fence, my garden gnome.
Outside, looters and refugees and rapists, everyone.
just more kooky paranoia from a stellar, capital A, ‘American’.
I loves me the folks who think they have some absolute control over any even tiny part of their lives.
I loves it more when the rug out from under them is pulled. Some people deserve to fall apart. no?
Jeffrey Kramer said,
September 24, 2005 at 4:01
In those days, parental authority typically stood like a great shield against the evils in what was called ?the world.?
So in the good old days, all the parents were moral exemplars and all the kids were happily obedient, but somehow the world was still a carnival of evil.
I must be missing something here.
Brad R. said,
September 24, 2005 at 10:48
So in the good old days, all the parents were moral exemplars and all the kids were happily obedient, but somehow the world was still a carnival of evil.
Ah, see, I can explain that. The world of honkies was a perfect, wonderful Honktopia. But there were some other folk, people who didn’t worship the Lord JEEEEEEEEE-ZUS-AAAAAH! and who had darker skin tones. THEY were the carnival of evil that the citizens of Cracker County had to shield their young from.
Marq said,
September 24, 2005 at 11:57
…so, nowadays the son hangs out in leather bars, where burly men in buttless chaps pin him to the ground with their–WHOA! HEY!
Marq said,
September 24, 2005 at 12:00
Yeah-those evil darkies–like Hitler!
Henry Holland said,
September 24, 2005 at 19:14
There’s fences out there that I’d like to direct SpongeDob to. They usually have 100,000 volts running through them. Come on SpongeDob! Climb that fence. [shaking fist like Homer, lowering voice] Climb it!