Jun
13
13
Place Your Bets!
Who will be the first Townhall columnist to blame the Michael Jackson acquittal on either the decline of traditional values or Bill Clinton’s penis?
I call Ben Shapiro.
UPDATE: My dad writes, “Now he can spend his life searching for ‘the real molester.’”
tg said,
June 14, 2005 at 0:27
I’ll go with Cal Thomas. He’s always up for a good traditional values lecture.
John Johnson said,
June 14, 2005 at 1:00
It won’t be Mike Adams, for he’ll be talking about some irrelevant minor university administrator as always.
Kevin Hayden said,
June 14, 2005 at 1:11
Amber Pawlik will be so disappointed. She was planning him for her next barbecue.
And…. your Dad oughta be blogging with that sensahuma.
Brad R. said,
June 14, 2005 at 1:17
And…. your Dad oughta be blogging with that sensahuma.
Heh. Well, my dad’s a pretty hardcore conservative, but yeah, he’s pretty funny.
Olexicon said,
June 14, 2005 at 2:22
Kathleen Parker!
Brian said,
June 14, 2005 at 2:30
5 bucks on Ann Coulter, blaming it on the Clenis.
D. Sidhe said,
June 14, 2005 at 2:49
I dunno about “first”, but I’m betting Pastor Doug will have a hell of a Clash Point. I’d also put money on it being almost as incoherent as it is offensive, but that’s pretty much a gimme.
Clif said,
June 14, 2005 at 3:13
My money is on Star Parker
Vivek said,
June 14, 2005 at 3:16
Brad, you forgot the third possibility: both!
You see, the Clenis is responsible for the decline of traditional values.
Vivek said,
June 14, 2005 at 3:18
Oh, and I gotta go with Kathleen Parker.
Hemlock Echo said,
June 14, 2005 at 3:22
I say Malkin. She is a part of the Blame Hollywood First crowd.
s.z. said,
June 14, 2005 at 14:04
I’m going to take the longshot here and say Thomas Sowell, and he will blame it on secularism, liberalism, and the nanny state which won’t allow you to sell your kidneys.
P.S. I just scrolled throuh about 350 posts about the verdict at Lucianne.com, and at least 25 of them made the same joke as your Dad. I call it the new conservative meme! ;-)
Yosef said,
June 14, 2005 at 14:51
Michael Jackson acquittal? What are you talking about? He was on trial for something? Are you talking about the singer?
Yosef said,
June 14, 2005 at 14:56
By the way, I exclusively use My Yahoo to come to this site now.
Brad R. said,
June 14, 2005 at 15:10
SZ- Yeah, but my dad e-mailed it to me right after the verdict, so he has (I think) the benefit of originality here.
Brian C.B. said,
June 14, 2005 at 15:48
You know, TBogg picked a hell of a week for a vacation. I don’t think that this blog and World o’Crap can handle the snark that will be required in a few days. Stand back, everybody…She’s gonna blow!
Oh, FTLOG said,
June 14, 2005 at 15:52
My money’s on Annie.
(BTW…how did she manage to evade the evil pie-wielder without breaking one of those twig-legs?)
Vestal Vespa said,
June 14, 2005 at 18:27
My money’s on Annie.
(BTW…how did she manage to evade the evil pie-wielder without breaking one of those twig-legs?)
Well, like others of her kind, she’s actually got an exoskeletal system that she has to painstakingly spray each morning with Sally Hansen Airbrush Legs to fit in among her human coworkers. She’s tough to break.
tea fiend no. 1 said,
June 14, 2005 at 19:58
Smart money’s on Dennis Humbert Humbert Prager. The real question in my mind is: how will he fit his own self-loathing and misogyny for being attracted to 13 year old girls in his condemnation of Michael Jackson? If MJ had molested little girls, he could just say that “the real criminals are those slutty 13 year olds wearing skirts so short that you can almost see the flash of delicious delicious panty as they walk up the stairs you’re hiding under”, but somehow I don’t see that working for boys.
And yes, of course it’s Clinton’s fault, though with Ann Coulter I think she’d be more likely to try to pin it on Jimmy Carter. But if they managed to blame Watergate on Clinton (see, deep throat is a euphemism for blowjob, and Clinton invented blowjobs), they can figure out how to pin this one on him.