I’ve always enjoyed life, but reading Dennis Prager’s latest column makes me want to send $20 to NARAL so I can get their complimentary "Culture of Death" tote bag:
Choose life: The case for Judeo-Christian values: IX
There are good people on both sides of the Terri Schiavo tragedy, but chances are that if you affirm Judeo-Christian values, you have opposed pulling the feeding tubes from the severely brain damaged woman’s body.
Because Dennis and his New Christian Overlords are right about everything, including creation science, while the rest of us deluded secularists are obsessed with death and sodomy (and we’re going to hell to boot!).
Because if there is anything that Judeo-Christian values stand for, it is choosing life and rejecting death.
Unless you’re a convicted criminal and/or Muslim, in which case you’re shit out of luck.
Even believing Jews and Christians are not fully aware of how much the rejection of death-oriented Egypt underlies the values and practices of the Torah, the first five books of the Bible held sacred by Judaism and Christianity.
Egyptian civilization was steeped in death. Its bible was the Book of the Dead, and its greatest monuments, its very symbols, the pyramids, were gigantic tombs.
Whereas American landmarks, like the Washington Monument and the Empire State Building, are testaments to the United States’ throbbing manly Judeo-Christian shlong power! (Although the Pentagon is kinda vaginal if you ask me… it must’ve been designed by some breast-fed-til-12 secularist pansy.)
One of the Torah’s first tasks was to destroy the connection between civilization (and, of course, religion) and death. That is the reason, I am convinced, for the absence of overt mention of the afterlife in the Old Testament — it was greatly concerned with getting humanity preoccupied with life.
Which is why God kills the firstborn child of every Egyptian household (Exodus 12:29), commands Moses to stone a man to death for taking His Name in vain (Leviticus 24:10-16), sends plagues to kill 14,700 Israelites (Numbers 16:40-50), and (my personal favorite) sends bears to maul children who make fun of bald people (Kings II 2:23-24).
With a few noble exceptions, preoccupation with the afterlife has led to denigration of life.
"The noble exceptions" being the people who are against Israel’s planned evacuation of the Gaza Strip because they think it will block The Rapture. See, the logical Christian mind understands that the afterlife isn’t about getting 70 virgins- it’s about sitting in Heaven and watching non-believers suffer the wrath of the Antichrist from the comfort of God’s personal IMAX.
One of the greatest insights of Sigmund Freud, who, his atheism notwithstanding, was perhaps the greatest mind of the 20th century, was that human beings have a Death Instinct, a death wish that is as strong as the Life Instinct. He wrote this decades before Nazism and the Communist genocides of the 20th century proved his point.
And I’m sure Siggy was thrilled to have his point proved by the two greatest killing machines in human history.
Yet, he was only saying in psychoanalytical terminology what Moses had said in Deuteronomy thousands of years earlier.
Well, Moses was also 120 years old by the time of Deuteronomy, so I’d take anything he said at that point with a grain of salt…
The Torah began this transformation with its constant emphasis on rejecting everything Egypt stood for.
Since the Egyptians enslaved them, that’s probably not surprising. Similarly, you didn’t see many slaves in the 19th century singing "I’m Proud to be an American."
The ban on eating or even owning bread during the seven days of Passover, the holiday commemorating the exodus from Egypt, the central Old Testament event after Creation, was primarily a symbolic rejection of Egypt. As noted in the Encyclopedia Britannica, the Egyptians essentially invented bread as we know it. "The Egyptians apparently discovered that allowing wheat doughs to ferment, thus forming gases, produced a light, expanded loaf, and they also developed baking ovens."
Dennis, we’re sick of hearing about your gassy, expanded loaf. Please find something else to talk about.
(Fermented) bread symbolized Egypt as apple pie or hot dogs might represent America. Moreover, fermentation is likened to sin and death in both Jewish and Christian understandings of the Bible.
So the puffier the bread, the more evil it is. By this logic, Wonder Bread is outright Satanic.
The Torah’s ban on sexual intercourse during menstruation is also a separation of that which represents life (intercourse) from that which represents death (menstruation).
It’s no wonder women in the Bible are so evil- every 28 days, they become symbols of death!
Biblically, menstruation had nothing to do with women being "unclean."
"It’s more that they’re treacherous, conniving temptresses who make us feast on their apples and then expect us to send checks when they get themselves pregnant."
In fact, nearly the entire body of Torah instruction (found especially in Leviticus, the least known of the Five Books) concerning what is incorrectly translated as "unclean" or "impure" is actually about that which is touched by death. Substitute "touched by death" for "impure" or "unclean," and you will have a far better understanding of the text.
Aaaah, Leviticus… my favorite chapter in the Bible. Let’s test Dennis’ hypothesis with a random verse, say, Leviticus 15:16-18:
And if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.
And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.
The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.
So according to Dennis, if you get cum stains on your clothes, you shouldn’t wash them off because they’re nasty; rather, you should wash them off because the cum is "tinged with death."
Have I mentioned that Dennis’ column is slowly driving me insane? Just thought I’d throw that in there before continuing:
The biblical and Judeo-Christian transformation of human thinking from death- to life-orientation has been a staggering accomplishment — even though it has obviously not been entirely successful even in the contemporary Western world.
I.e., in Hollywood, Canada, Europe or The New York Times.
The cavalier attitude about human life expressed among the leading opponents of Judeo-Christian values — such as PETA, which equates barbecuing chickens with cremating Jews; the Princeton ethicist who believes that parents can commit infanticide under various conditions; those in the non Judeo-Christian West who lack a moral problem with abortion for whatever reason; modern film and art that portray death as kitsch; and the secular culture’s contempt for those who call themselves ‘pro-life’ or believe that Terri Schiavo had a right to live — are all examples of the contemporary attempt to undo the life wish of Judeo-Christian values and affirm the natural death wish that resides in the human soul.
Nice try, Dennis, but I’ve only seem Death Wish once, and it sucked. I also find it funny that PETA are fighting to save animals’ lives, but they’re part of the Culture of Death too. I guess "The Culture of Death" really means "people who disagree with Dennis."