15
Oh David, we feel that way too!
(8) All I want for Christmas is you! (8)
WorldNetDaily’s David Kupelian has a special message for us:
I don’t do this very often, but I’m going to do it now. I’ll make it short and, I hope, sweet.
Oh David — we thought you’d never ask!
If you’re a loyal WorldNetDaily reader, one who trusts and relies on WND for your daily news, then you …
Then you what? Can you guess?
Why? I could give you lots of reasons.
9/11?
This appeal would be easier if I could just take you on a tour of WorldNetDaily’s operation and share with you the enormous amount of work our dedicated staff performs to bring you two editions of WND daily.
It takes a lot of aluminum foil to run a big ship like WND.
If I could convey to you the tireless and inspired leadership of our CEO Joseph Farah, and if I described the endless sacrifices, difficulties, attacks and trials we constantly encounter on seemingly every side, my appeal would be more emotionally compelling.
Those damn sarcastic French Canadians — mocking you with their big words and loose grasp of the English rules of syntax and grammar. Sons of bitches!
I know how easy it is to mentally move on, click the mouse, and go to the next story and forget this message
It’s even easier when you’re not there mentally at all, David! [The comma in that sentence brought to you by John of Supertrevligt. It's not just regular trevligt anymore, it's Super Trevligt!?)
but I'm hoping you won't, because we need you, just as you need us.
Hmm, seems David copied from an earlier post of ours (and/or Homer Simpson.)
We give everything we've got to you ? and when you in turn give to us, the cycle is complete[.] [Emphasis added.]
Hakuna Matata?
I don’t believe in begging, but I am appealing to both your conscience and your self-interest.
Right, this reminds us of something:
KRAMER: Now what does the little man inside you say? See you gotta listen to the little man.
GEORGE: My little man doesn’t know.
KRAMER: The little man knows all.
GEORGE: My little man’s an idiot.
PS: Bonus totally unrelated issue points: our new work environment reminds us of something about this Seinfeld episode. Can you guess which one?
FlipYrWhig said,
December 15, 2004 at 23:13
It could be that you’re surrounded by a staff composed entirely of large-breasted women. But I might be thinking of “Da Honger.”
dave said,
December 15, 2004 at 23:28
I was going to send a donation to help feed the refugees in Darfur, but WND provides me with way more amusement value.
Also, does anybody else think that David Kupelian looks like a zombie John Derbyshire?
Bill S said,
December 16, 2004 at 0:12
“Zombie John Derbyshire”? That’s redundant.
Sunnie said,
December 16, 2004 at 0:32
WND going down the tubes???
Will this be the end of whining, neo-conservative fucktards???
Tune in tomorrow for a very special almost-Christmas edition of World Net Daily!!!
(Now with more buttery taste!—MMM!)
matilda said,
December 16, 2004 at 0:41
WND is full of high wind and hot air. Gives my hair the frizzes. Never read their stuff unless through a link here. And then I make sure that the computer screen is coated with layers of olive oil, mayonnaise and avocado.
heydave said,
December 16, 2004 at 5:54
mmm, gaucamole AND WND is already sounding better……
heydave said,
December 16, 2004 at 6:02
You believe in god for the bad things!
(hence, this purgatory of ‘letting’ Da Honger take over things until we drop into the real hell of, say, the Hottest New Writer for WND!)
Just send me antoher bad check , you bastard!
James J. Dominguez said,
December 16, 2004 at 6:38
I figure they should get payment equivalent to the quality of their work, but I doubt UPS will accept a box full of faeces…
Dave said,
December 16, 2004 at 10:14
Somebody stole your box of raisins?
susan said,
December 16, 2004 at 15:07
You’re surrounded by people with discolorations on their lips?
Yosef said,
December 16, 2004 at 16:31
You’re eventually going to date and NBC exec and accidentally kill her with toxic glue on the wedding invitations all while secretly trying to date Marisa Tomei?
Notbushcity said,
December 16, 2004 at 16:44
Your recent “change in job” and “move” relate to your unfortunate lack of scooter insurance, leading to your new job as Dieter’s bathroom monkey?
Or am I sending mexed missages again?
George Johnston said,
December 16, 2004 at 17:30
my appeal would be more emotionally compelling.
It appears he went to the Vulcan School of Melodrama.
John E Thelin said,
December 17, 2004 at 6:15
I’m humbled. Not as nice as it sounds.
But “Super trevligt” (Swedish being one of those aggregating languages, like German) actually means “to drink to excess in a nice way”, which is fine, but not the cuddly sweet name of my web site.
Look for English-language blogging to begin over there around mid-January. Time to expose the Swedish wingnuts to the world.
And am I the only one that thinks that Da Honger was the guys actual, given name, rather than some faux gangsta affectation?
WKD said,
December 17, 2004 at 6:17
Yes John, yes you are.
FlipYrWhig said,
December 17, 2004 at 17:15
Maybe it’s actually D.A. Honger. As a prosecutor, he’s tough-as-nails, but when you get to know him, his heart is as soft as guacamole.
thehim said,
December 17, 2004 at 21:17
They’ve spent so much of their budget on beef jerky and ding-dongs, they finally realized they wouldn’t be able to pay off their fatwa against Janeane Garofalo.
WKD said,
December 17, 2004 at 22:51
Last name maybe?
miss said,
August 27, 2005 at 5:18
Da Honger was slang for “the honger” hong was his middle name…….